A Life Worthy of Your Calling

…I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ~ Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV

Have you been called to faith, to the spiritual, to belief in a Power greater than you, to turn your mind, your heart, your being, over to that Power? Do you choose to live a life worthy of that calling? Have you become completely humble and gentle; can you be patient, bearing with one another in love? Are toy willing to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace? What needs to change to reach this standard?

Perfectionism

Perfectionism gets in the way of recovery because it imposes impossible, unrealistic goals which guarantee failure. If we do not think we have to be perfect, then we can accept our mistakes as learning experiences and be willing to try again. ~ L., Elisabeth. Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

I can't say perfectionism is a trait of mine. Well of course, I edit your proper...or less than... use of the English language often aloud talking to the television, but mentally in conversation. I'd like to claim perfection  in how I work the program or in knowing the proper response. But I fail miserably. In my clearer moments I know well that Elizabeth is correct that, "Perfectionism gets in the way of recovery because it imposes impossible, unrealistic goals which guarantee failure. If we do not think we have to be perfect, then we can accept our mistakes as learning experiences and be willing to try again." Lord, I am willing. Make it true that I'm willing to try again, and again, and again!

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us. ~ Hermann Hesse

The best of us is self-centered. We see everything and every person as they affect our lives or our contentment. It's easy to hate ourselves and the hatred is about who we are and has nothing to do with who anyone else might be. Love yourself and love will surround you.

Practicing Trusting

My mind started to spin off into negative “what-if?” scenarios, but I decided to just practice trusting. Why waste precious moments of life worrying? I would use the experience as an opportunity to stay happy no matter what. ~ Cohen, Alan. A Daily Dose of Sanity (Kindle Locations 3579-3581). Hay House. Kindle Edition.

Do you trust God to make things work? When you've made a request of God you know...or at least believe... would be his will for the expected result? Have you consciously decided to use an experience as an opportunity to stay happy no matter what? Let's both try that today? Are you in?

Image Copyright: ehrlif.

As Soon as the Holidays Are over

I read the book, a gift from my counselor long a member of AA but not so with OA. She ordered it, believing Overeaters Anonymous, 2nd edition, the equivalent of Alcoholics Anonymous, 5th edition. It was like the stories, but not the explanation. So I read the stories, all 31, tales of people like me, addicted to food used as a drug, making our lives insane! I read the book, knew I belonged... but it was December! Who "starts a diet" before New Year's Day? Not me! Then December 17th, my hands filled with sweet treats, I talked aloud, said to God, "This is stupid!" He didn't disagree. So I found an online group, got a sponsor, made new friends, and became a member. I did what needed to be done, falling on Christmas Eve, flying to London three days later, in serious pain, finding internet cafes and reporting to OA people from there. I never got a newcomer chip but will complete fifteen years in OA December 17th this year. And when the holidays end, I'll still be a compulsive overeater in Recovery.  

Two Choices only

Boil every choice down to what heals versus what hurts, answer fear with love, and you will find the peace you seek. ~ Cohen, Alan. A Course in Miracles Made Easy (p. 4). Hay House. Kindle Edition.

What hurts feelings, causes pain in you or your fellow? What heals the wounds that were caused earlier? When you seek the healing, you seek peace. When you respond to hurt with peace, each person touched is deep in peace! Choose love! Find peace!

Negative Energy?

Having the energy to pursue our passions will always come if that’s our wish. Most of who we are, what we do, and where we are going relates to our attitude. Being tired, bored, scared, or unhappy are decisions, nothing more. ~ Casey, Karen. Keepers of The Wisdom Daily Meditations: Reflections From Lives Well Lived. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition. Get energy by wishing for it? Who we are, what we do, where we're going, these all relate to our attitude? And the negatives we'd rather avoid, these are our decisions? Do I choose to be tired? Maybe, if I pay more attention to an audio book than to the purpose of going to bed... but scared? unhappy? Would I choose those? If fear is the opposite of love, and loving those I'm with turns me off, that I can see as a decision if I accept love and fear are the only two options... I'll try it out today, choosing the good list, seeing if tired, bored, scared, and unhappy happen when I don't. You try it, too and we can have all the energy we need! I welcome your comments.

Cannot Fail? Really?

...the Third Step corresponds to the principle of faith. Once we truly make the leap to believe, no matter what, that a power greater than ourselves will restore us to sanity and will take care of every other issue in our lives as well, we cannot ever fail to recover, and the compulsion to binge disappears. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Voices of Recovery . Overeaters Anonymous. Kindle Edition. Step Three: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." How do we know exactly when we have actually made a decision to believe, no matter what, that a power greater than ourselves will restore us to sanity? Is it once and for all times? Or is there wiggle room? Are we entitled to sometimes run hot, fully convinced, and sometimes be riddled with doubt? I find encouragement in the Twelve Steps and TwelveTraditions'assertion, "“Once we compulsive overeaters truly take the Third Step we cannot fail to recover.” So somewhere there's inevitability assured, but as long as I find wiggle room, I can usually find it!

It’s a Tool I Use

Overeaters Anonymous recognizes nine tools: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, action plan, anonymity and service. This Recovery Daily Dose has continued now for four thousand forty-four days, of using tools. The tool of writing, yes, but perhaps more than that The tool of service. I offer this up to the public trusting the people who might need it will see it at the time it might be an act of service to them.

Perspective

Relentless days wrest center stage from forebears hardly ripe as calendars slough off each page with calibrated swipe. From Gerber pears to bubble-gum seems but a month or less and calculus replaces sums like tic-tac-toe to chess. So halt that whirling dervish time; suspend it by sheer will and patty-cake to nursery rhyme while child is cuddly still.

Good Morning!

Keep it simple. Start it right. It's a new day. Start by taking dogs out, repeating the Third Step Prayer as the water's freshened, then circling the yard several times saying the Seventh Step Prayer, the Serenity Prayer, then the OA Promise, followed by prayers for abstinence, for loved ones and family, the prayer list sometimes shortened as one friend says, "for everyone!" Then inside. No need for originality. the same breakfast virtually every day. Well thought through, it sets the day, the meals are for sustenance, not for entertainment. Dogs eat first, husband next then my oatmeal, an egg cooked in, a serving of fruit added, and it's time for morning readings, food for the body and for the soul, a true Good Morning!

I Will Not Tell You!

I ate three planned meals today, meals that met the meal plan I choose. But truth be told, I wandered through the kitchen when the plan was to eat nothing and instead I nibbled, not enough to impact the scales when I weigh myself for the month in six days, but I ate off the plan. But I won't tell you. I'll let you read about it, and I'll talk it over with God, but I might pull you away from the perfect abstinence I wish I'd held onto today, and I'll pray you don't use my weakness to justify your not telling what you do today!

Inability to Love Ourselves

We name as ills of our society sexual promiscuity and addiction to legal and illegal substances, including food. In every case the underlying cause is an inability to love oneself fully as God loves each of us. As a result we try to lose ourselves in activities and behaviors that seem fulfilling and exciting but are really desperate attempts to experience the love that is lacking within ourselves. The answer to our problem is to seek God and the love of God within us. ~ Brooks, Gennifer Benjamin. Bible Sisters (p. 142). Abingdon Press. Kindle Edition. This author understands addiction, the substances we use when disgusted with living in the threefold disease a progressive, dangerous, and slow-killing disease of mind, body, and spirit. When we up to our chins in the misery and the underlying cause which is an inability to love ourself fully as God loves each of us. As a result we try to lose ourselves in activities and behaviors that seem fulfilling and exciting but are really desperate attempts to experience the love lacking within ourselves. The answer to our problem is to seek God and the love of God within us. God, help me find the ability to love myself!

Twelve Years Three Months Three Weeks Later

The poem is old..about 49 months old. I came to Overeaters Anonymous December 17th, 2007, returning to the car with cappuccino and an apple fritter, and sitting down alone in the car, spoke aloud, "This is stupid!" Of course I was sure God agreed. I drove on, taught Sunday school, and went home to figure out how to reach O.A. I found a meeting Wednesday mornings at eight. But that was the time I met with my counselor, the woman who had given me the book that had me convinced. I saw her instead, but looked up the meeting, already knew the contact person. Christmas Eve I fell in my kitchen, hurting my rotator cuff. Christmas day I was miserable but let it be so I could fly to London two days later, miserable stuffed into the middle seat. I looked for Internet cafes and emailed my O.A. round-the-world support folks every chance I got, returned home into 2008 and through Christmas and the trip still weighed the same. Getting the Wednesday appointment changed and showing up for a snowed out meeting I finally got to a meeting. Never got a newcomer chip but took one for thirty days. I took a service position early, traveling around the Southwest, serving with folks from around the world, learning and growing. Now twelve years three months and three weeks later, I hate to imagine life without O.A.!

I Decided to Be Me

Anyone who would take such a path must be mad. I was terrified. But then, at the moment of my greatest despair, from my unconscious there came a sequence of words, like a strange disembodied oracle from a voice that was not mine: “The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.” Even if it meant being crazy and out of step with all that seemed holy, I had decided to be me. ~ Peck, M. Scott. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth (pp. 124-125). Touchstone. Kindle Edition.

Even if it meant being crazy and out of step with all that seemed holy, I had decided to be me. What wisdom, and how valuable, to a young man at the point of striking out, selecting a different path based on the sudden insight, “The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.” Most of us have many years' more experience, more natural insight but do you even now see the truth that “The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.” Can you find security in looking at these trying times and understanding “The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.”?

Grace as a Verb

I’m more comfortable with grace as a noun, either a proper noun or elegance, ladylike… But the more interesting usage is as a verb, to dignify, elevate, honor, enhance, ennoble… God, may I strive to contribute, shine, improve the world as I live in big moments and small. May I be a welcome addition rather than a distraction. May I live grace!

We Are the Fellowship

Then I went to Syria and Cilicia. I was personally unknown to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. They only heard the report: “The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.” And they praised God because of me. ~ Galatians 1:21-24 (NIV) After several failures to find others, a fourth turned up. He came through an acquaintance who had heard the good news. (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 158)

Our reputation precedes us, follows us, defines us among people we'll never meet. What do they say of us? Does it matter? "What you think of me is none of my business." But is it really true? Does it matter what people say? What if they say it about me as a member of the fellowship? What if my behavior is the only view some people have of the rooms? Do they stay away, not wanting what we have? Do they praise God because of me? God, let me be an instrument of your peace.

Blinders Needed

...which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. ~ Galatians 1:7 (NIV) Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. Leaving aside the drink question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory. They show how the change came over them. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. (Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 50-51)

I trust only me and chase my tail, follow a trailblazer to deserts I despise, flit like a butterfly, flower to flower to flower, drift like a balloon to popular causes, the thing du jour. As long as I'm my own higher power, or I choose other lower higher powers, I wander, dissatisfied. Once I become conscious of the Presence of God, I know the path to all I want or need God, sometimes I need  blinders. When I'm distracted, nudge me.

To Validate Yourself

…sometimes, it’s not about changing what you believe. It’s an opportunity for you to validate yourself and your beliefs. ~ Beattie, Melody. More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 242). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Recovery facilitates our evolution, our becoming, our changing who we are from to who we wish to be. We have a roadmap called the Steps, a guide called the God of our understanding and we have become accustomed to change. Sometimes, though, what feels like change is really a check-up, a reality scrutiny perhaps. Validation of someone else involves expressing understanding and acceptance, offering understanding and affirmation. Most of us in Recovery need understanding and affirmation as we make changes, and it’s neat from someone else but welcome when we come to see that our thoughts and feelings are justified. It’s good to have an opportunity to validate ourselves and our beliefs!

Trusting the Creator

All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

What have we seen that makes us trust God as we understand God? We have seen changes in our own lives and attitudes. We have seen changes in our lives we couldn't have made on our own. We have seen anger, jealousy, contempt, and resentment leave our thinking, our attitudes. We have seen the praise we offer to God not help God who needs nothing from us but aide us in releasing what is meaningless or dead in our lives and making room in our lives for what is eternal and alive. God calls us to release what is meaningless or dead and to make room in our lives for the go0d. We praise God not because God needs to receive praise but because we need to give it responsibly due to God’s love for us.

Failure … to Discover Peace

Trying to control anyone else can become habitual. But success will never be lasting. The irony is that failing is actually how we discover what peace feels like. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a Renewed Beginning (p. 10). Mango Media. Kindle Edition.

When we decide to take on the god-role we fail at the task. But failing really is actually how we discover what peace feels like. May you discover peace this day and during myriad days to come!

True Comfort

“True comfort is to be found in the balance and sanity of abstinence. So deep and pure is this comfort that it is well worth whatever trouble or pain I might have to pass through to attain it.” ~ Overeaters Anonymous. For Today, p. 253

Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Abstinence is sanity, liking who I am. Abstinence is a lifeboat! I'll stay in the lifeboat!” Thank God for true comfort and lifeboats.

Rejoicing in the Morning

Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. ~Psalm 30:4-5 NIV

We have today, the present. We no longer have yesterday, have not come into possession of tomorrow. But God keeps gifting to us the present and as long as we avoid edging God out, his gifts are as we would give to those dearest to us! His favor lasts a lifetime; and rejoicing comes in the morning. Thanks be to God for the present!

Can'y Wait

I’m spent my life waiting, preparing, perfecting. When I lose ten more pounds, when that dress fits again, when the kids grow up and leave, when the dog dies… It never happens. Oh, some of it does. Sometimes even the weight and size, but the perfect tomorrow scheduled at the crossroad never comes. Because it’s a lie. It never existed, never will except in my mind. What comes is now, today, this weight, this size, this me. This I have to work with. Waiting for different only makes me miss what I wanted to live.

Accept People and Confront Problems

Doing otherwise invites shame, hostility, defensiveness, and rebuttal. These factors set us up for nonproductive negotiations. ~ Beattie, Melody. Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time (p. 195). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition. Too often we begin "resolving differences" by confronting people while feeling obligated to mitigate issues. We've got that backwards and in the process destroy the possibility of mutually acceptable outcomes. Let's not discount the people involved because there seems to be no middle ground.

Hiding Behind a Mask

If you could see me, you’d run, screaming, alarmed, terrified. Surely you’d cross yourself, toss salt over your shoulder, do anything to avoid the curse, to distance yourself from me. So I hide. I hide in food like a child, covering his own face and assuming invisibility. I hide in people pleasing to act as if I were finished, polished, real… I hide in silence, knowing you can’t judge words I don’t speak. I hide in ferocity making myself unloveable so I can believe I’ll never be loved. I hide in monotony, not doing the things that would lighten my load. I stand here in my mask, eager, hoping you won’t jerk it away, toss it beyond the moon.

To Caesar

In Matthew 22, we read that a group of Pharisees confronted Jesus and asked for a yes or no answer on whether it was lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, the Roman emperor. Jesus responded by asking whose face was engraved on the coins used to pay the taxes. When they answered it was Caesar’s face, Jesus replied with the now-famous verse, “Then render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s; and to God the things that are God’s” (Matthew 22:21 NASB). The dreaded day...or the dreaded month! Anxiety rules when tax day approaches, at least at our house. For months we've collected the data in "the pink tub" ignoring the fact there are three stacked tubs... Tension rules the household, as husband queries why I gave that much to a charity, what it does, and such. Then he tells me to import my accounts and I figure it out again... after a few hours' effort. I write the check then he critiques my bank records and handwriting. And after his mulling it over a while I take it to the Post Office. Caesar gets his share, the nonprofits have theirs and peace again reigns but next April is already on its way!

Patience

Patience is the art of concealing your impatience. ~ Guy Kawasaki

Opposites don’t always oppose each other. Patience and impatience are brothers. Patience is forbearance or restraint. Tolerance is the state of tolerating, or putting up with, conditionally. Patience, maintained long enough emerges victorious. It’s an allowable amount of variation of a specified quantity, and not just scientifically speaking. Practice patience and relish victory as it emerges!

We Pay the Price

One day at a time, in small installments, we pay the price of our new growth and progress. What we gain is infinitely more than worth the cost! ~  L., Elisabeth. Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition. 

We pay the price! But it's a bargain basement price! Grab it before it's revealed to be a steal!!  After all, we're paying a pittance for a life beyond our wildest dreams!!  Get it before they charge what it's worth!!!

They Call the Role

The Aggies of Texas assemble each year by tens and by thousands in towns far and near. The twenty-first day of the fourth month they stand, solemn and somber, at sea or on land, while up at the rostrum a roll call begins, the roster of those who’ll not be there again, for each name they call is an Aggie who passed from this life since they read from the muster list last. But present in spirit, they stand nonetheless, Aggies forever, a brotherhood blessed. The voices now silenced will answer the call as brothers and sisters respond for them all. My father and son are Aggies. I’m not. Enrollment at muster will not be my lot. But still as a symbol of love muster stands a solid, fraternal mass joining of hands. And I have a Brother, creation’s first-born, who’ll answer for me when they sound judgment’s horn. My name will be called and his voice God will hear at muster call yonder I’ll surely be there.

OK

“I'm not OK, you're not OK -- and that's OK.”~ William Sloane Coffin

Are you OK? I am, sort of. And that's OK. I sometimes believe I'm OK but doubt it most of the time. It's easy for me to decide you're not OK when I doubt I am. But God made me, and God don't make junk and God made you, and the same truth follows. I don't usually feel OK and that's probably your belief as well, but God looked at humans and declared we're good, so let's latch on to that and know we're OK!

We Deserve Peace

Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight. ~ Hannah Arendt Our job is to find happiness and offer love to others. Nothing can better us more than this. ~ Casey, Karen. A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight. ~ Hannah Arendt

Peace I ask of thee oh river, peace, peace, peace. When men learn to live together, cares will cease.* We have a right to peace. We can claim our right to peace. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight. Be a carrier of peace. *Traditional song

*Traditional songΩ

DON'T BE STUCK

“Fear is the glue that keeps you stuck. Faith is the solvent that sets you free.” ~ Shannon L. Alder

Are you stuck? What do you wish you could do but believe you can’t? I began writing here with the quote, by Werner Erhard, “Whatever you are pushing against, you are stuck to” but got hung up on the implied adhesive. If like the Greek god Sisyphus you’re pushing uphill it makes sense you never can stop, that the boulder goes down when the pushing stops, but I prefer not to assume glue. I choose to recognize a god who furnishes the solvent when we produce the debacle of getting stuck!

Just Take a Bite!

We know her well, wearing many faces. "Come on, just taste it. I need to know if the seasoning's right." It's just a bite. That won't hurt your diet." We all know her/him so well. They would swear they mean no harm. They do not understand it's like suggesting to an addict they try just a little heroin! I am an addict and I have no use for your permission. I do not have mine and that's what matters. It's like Peter in Matthew, when Jesus said, “But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” Thank you, no. I will not take a bite. I have no use for your attempted kindness. It's a kick in the face to me!

A Mother's Love

Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired. It need not be deserved. ~ Erich Fromm

Most of us were blessed with a loving mother. We may have ideas of better ways to raise a child, but we realize our mother did the best she could. After all, I didn’t come with instructions. I doubt you did either. Let us be grateful today, every day, for our first teacher, our mother!

Allow the Breakthrough

Life is a Gentle Teacher. She will keep repeating the lesson until we learn. It is okay to become frustrated. Confused. Angry. Sometimes it is okay to despair. Then, it is okay to walk away and allow the breakthrough to come. It shall. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 129). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

I’ve heard it said you can choose your path despite being confused by asking God to pull you toward the better choice. My examples of God’s guiding me are rare and limited, but I can assure you they’re memorable forty-two years later, and I never in those years questioned the rightness of my path-correction! Life is a Gentle Teacher. She will keep repeating the lesson until we learn. God loves us even more than his guidance to us to love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Recovery

No matter how it feels, we’re moving forward. No matter how good it gets, the best is yet to come. ~ Beattie, Melody. Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time (p. 224). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The rooms of Recovery wait for us with open arms. They wait to hear the hurt, the trauma, the desperation they remember so well. They wait to discover our entrancement when we begin to believe we’re in the right place, They wait for us to hear the old-timers share the lessons they’ve learned, the truths that have become the lives they live. They wait for us to find the truths that will leave us happy, joyous and free the rest of our lives as we share our wisdom, our Recovery, with the newcomers who have taken our place!

Madness

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

The opposite of sanity is madness when we take it literally and of those of us who have been restored to sanity most would vehemently avow our previous state was madness!

Missing the Hugs

Three years now, the Covid years... We meet very week for Recovery, use the same script, the same schedule of twelve-step literature for the first through fourth weeks, a speaker if there's a fifth. We've many new friends across the country, and in other lands even. Our meeting will continue zooming and not return to face-to-face. Heck, we can still see the faces. I abstained when we voted, and know it makes sense this way, but it will never be the same.... I miss the hugs and always will!

Scorn

Scorn is the feeling or belief that someone or something is worthless or despicable. Scorn is my attitude about myself when I've attempted...or actually usually done...what I know better than to do. As Paul told the Romans, For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do— this I keep on doing. Like Paul I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. But God can change me, make me no longer a woman to be scorned!

I Got a Second Chance

How many years had I  "been on a diet?" The truth is never, though  I had tried for decades. The one when the goal  was wearing the wedding dress came closest but Mother let the seams out when the day drew near! I had tried for decades until a counselor gave me the book Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition. I read it and decided to try after Christmas...don't start a diet in the fall!!! But I remembered the stories, knew I needed it. So December 17th, 2007 I got in the car with sweet treats and told God, "This is Stupid!" That day I claimed my second chance and I continue to "Keep coming back!" Let me tell you why if you're longing to get your own second chance!

Lessons from a Gaggle of Geese

The geese come in  the morning or midday or late in the evening, in twos or threes or sevens or tens. They wander into yards, fifty feet or more from the water. They meander, calm, at peace, comfortable with their mates or as a solitary wanderer, aware of their surroundings, ready to move toward the water when concerned, knowing safety. We can find our own contented moments, alone or with friends, a community of individuals, caring for companions but aware where our safe haven lies, peaceful, calm, and comfortable.

By Guess and By Gosh

It's how I cook, it's who I am. Too much like Grandmom to repeat the steps. Grandmom cookies, The prune cake every Christmas "The icing ran out the door," she'd say every Christmas. We sisters always looked but found no icing on the porch. She would eat the hottest peppers, didn't understand how Grandpop could drink that Coca Cola that burned all the way down! Doctor Brooks asked when she would reduce. She poked him in the stomach, told him, "When you do!" She stayed ready for a Depression, with sugar and flour for the duration stored in the hall closet. It's how I cook, it's who I am. Too much like Grandmom to repeat the steps. But I don't want to poke doctors in the ribs when they comment on my size. I've found other Steps I can follow to health and serenity!

Abstinence Is Supremely Important

The world is coming to an end. At least my world is. My town is destroyed, I cannot find my family. The dog is dead. My house is ashes. My insanity was coming back. I learned there was a meeting walking distance from the shelter I share with a thousand strangers. I went and they announced the topic: “Abstinence is the most important thing in my life no matter what.” Had I known any of these people I probably would have laughed out loud. Then the sharing started and another visitor displaced to the same shelter talked about this being her second time to start over. She had found it true, the importance of abstinence. She talked about getting back in the food, struggling to hold on to sanity, to recovery, talked about eating as close to plan as possible, how controlling that alone gave her strength to cling to Recovery. I heard. I listened. I learned Abstinence is the most important thing in my life no matter what!

Grant Them What I Want

Sponsors tell us to pray for those we resent, pray that they too will receive all the blessings we hope to receive in our lives. That seems impossible before we try it. But once we do, we feel miraculously uplifted. ~ Casey, Karen. A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

In large part the week has been miserable. I've earnestly resented people around me. I've been yelled at and have handed it back. I recognize this process set out in a story in the Bog Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've used it before, praying that they  receive all the blessings I hope to receive in my life. But once done, it's not finished. Resentments return, and the prayers must as well. God, I pray for those I resent, I pray that they receive blessings I hope to receive in my life. Give me the wisdom to  start with prayer and never reach the screeching! 

Never Normal Eaters Recovery in OA is based on the recognition that we are not—and never can be—normal eaters. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 3101-3102). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition. All my life... at least the last sixty years... I've imagined living in a right-sized body. But having reached a BMI below obesity I understand I'm never more than a binge or two away from again facing the trauma of total relapse! Recovery in OA is based on the recognition that we are not— and never can be— normal eaters.

God's Here

Yes, I know, it's not just you and me, God's here, too. Somehow he doesn't bother me as much as you. That's weird. I understand. But still... I want you to like me. I guess I start at the beginning? I used to take Bubba's candy and toy cars. The kindergarten teacher caught me scratching tables. In second grade I hit a little girl. What? You want more? Oh. Just different. The exact nature of our wrongs? I'm scared all the time. I'm always into me, not you, not him, not God. I hide my head in mindless games, an ostrich in the sand, and hurry to anything that promises oblivion when, unprepared, I fall face-flat to floor. Simple things I didn't do haunt me so I wreck a friendship when she can't recall my wrong, just knows I avoid her. I lie and cheat to duck the blame, defame a saint to feel less odious, to blunt the pain. It's who I am, the best I've managed yet, abjectly miserable. So there, you see, I thank you for your time and kindness to me. I know you hate me now. You what? How could you love me at all, much less more? Yes, I feel your love. And God's.

Incredulous Love

I love you. You know I didn’t always — hated, loathed, despised — never ever expected love to enter in. I can’t dispute you deserve the wrath. I let you sabotage my life to shambles yet clung to you as my only hope — such a dope I was — and you. Your ugly face remains the same but changed expansively to something fair, near radiant at times. We’ve blossomed, you and I, my mirror image. I stand before you, humble, calm, amazed to love you.

Like a Mighty Wind

The wind adopts personas, props, attributes as roles require — A breeze docile, gentle, serene, soothing troubled water. A whirling dervish prodding, probing, disrobing treasures, divulging faults. A gale grabbing grit, hurling dirt, sandblasting paint chips, debris, trash, scouring to naked essence. Blustering gusts portend long-sought showers, the gift of life, breaking heat that bakes the soul. The Pentecostal wind adopts personas, grace disguised.

Affirmations

Affirmations aren’t a substitute for accepting reality. They aren’t a form of control. They need to be used with heavy doses of surrender, spirituality, and letting go. ~Beattie, Melody. Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time (p. 127). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

What do you need to affirm to make your life better? Do these work for you? I love myself. I am grateful for my body and all it has done for me. I am powerful beyond my wildest dreams. I accept myself unconditionally. I have permission from the universe to be myself. The ultimate sin is knowing who I am and not being true to that. Every day my self-worth is growing. I am worthy of all the joys and riches in the universe. I honor my own life path and appreciate the journey. My mind, body, and soul is a beautiful expression of y individuality. I give myself permission to heal. I am not my pain. I accept the lesson I am learning through my pain. My body has everything it needs to heal. I am better now than I was before this happened to me. I choose peace no matter what. I forgive myself for the part I played in my current situation. I forgive anyone I feel has hurt me. I am kind to myself and others. I will help others experiencing this so that they won’t make the same mistakes I did. I am creating a life that is beyond my imagination. I love what I do and I do what I love. What I do makes a positive impact on the world. I believe in myself. I am a born creator and I create the life that I want. Circumstances don’t define me and they won’t stop me from moving forward. I will never give up, give in, or quit. Abundance is all around me. Everything I touch prospers. The more I have. The more I have to give. Source: venturingvalue.com How will you affirm yourself today?

Yo My Sponsor's God

you didn’t do bad last night i told you thanks for a lousy day and you didn’t get mad i asked you to keep me clean just today and somehow i am i asked you to stop my dumb mouth at the boss he grinned when i left said i’d done good so thanks for a not bad day can you do it again i’d be much obliged

Hanging on the Hyphen

I came defeated, demoralized, victimized by my addiction. Powerless over my lover cum stalker, unmanageable an incongruous understatement, Step One stood a rock-solid given. Sure, I’d toss that to any power, higher, lower, alien, hostile. Take it, please! Take the addiction; my life will bloom again. So why the other eleven? Why the talk of life and will, of resentment, fear, of amends? The addiction’s gone, thank you very much. I’m through. A hyphen? Yes, I see that. Truth be told, it’s a dash. So what? “Denotes a sudden change in construction or sentiment” or “indicates what’s not expected, not a natural outcome of what’s gone before.” OUR LIVES have become unmanageable? This POWER wants my LIFE?