Lessons from a Gaggle of Geese

The geese come in  the morning or midday or late in the evening, in twos or threes or sevens or tens. They wander into yards, fifty feet or more from the water. They meander, calm, at peace, comfortable with their mates or as a solitary wanderer, aware of their surroundings, ready to move toward the water when concerned, knowing safety. We can find our own contented moments, alone or with friends, a community of individuals, caring for companions but aware where our safe haven lies, peaceful, calm, and comfortable.

By Guess and By Gosh

It's how I cook, it's who I am. Too much like Grandmom to repeat the steps. Grandmom cookies, The prune cake every Christmas "The icing ran out the door," she'd say every Christmas. We sisters always looked but found no icing on the porch. She would eat the hottest peppers, didn't understand how Grandpop could drink that Coca Cola that burned all the way down! Doctor Brooks asked when she would reduce. She poked him in the stomach, told him, "When you do!" She stayed ready for a Depression, with sugar and flour for the duration stored in the hall closet. It's how I cook, it's who I am. Too much like Grandmom to repeat the steps. But I don't want to poke doctors in the ribs when they comment on my size. I've found other Steps I can follow to health and serenity!

Abstinence Is Supremely Important

The world is coming to an end. At least my world is. My town is destroyed, I cannot find my family. The dog is dead. My house is ashes. My insanity was coming back. I learned there was a meeting walking distance from the shelter I share with a thousand strangers. I went and they announced the topic: “Abstinence is the most important thing in my life no matter what.” Had I known any of these people I probably would have laughed out loud. Then the sharing started and another visitor displaced to the same shelter talked about this being her second time to start over. She had found it true, the importance of abstinence. She talked about getting back in the food, struggling to hold on to sanity, to recovery, talked about eating as close to plan as possible, how controlling that alone gave her strength to cling to Recovery. I heard. I listened. I learned Abstinence is the most important thing in my life no matter what!

Grant Them What I Want

Sponsors tell us to pray for those we resent, pray that they too will receive all the blessings we hope to receive in our lives. That seems impossible before we try it. But once we do, we feel miraculously uplifted. ~ Casey, Karen. A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

In large part the week has been miserable. I've earnestly resented people around me. I've been yelled at and have handed it back. I recognize this process set out in a story in the Bog Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've used it before, praying that they  receive all the blessings I hope to receive in my life. But once done, it's not finished. Resentments return, and the prayers must as well. God, I pray for those I resent, I pray that they receive blessings I hope to receive in my life. Give me the wisdom to  start with prayer and never reach the screeching! 

Never Normal Eaters Recovery in OA is based on the recognition that we are not—and never can be—normal eaters. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 3101-3102). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition. All my life... at least the last sixty years... I've imagined living in a right-sized body. But having reached a BMI below obesity I understand I'm never more than a binge or two away from again facing the trauma of total relapse! Recovery in OA is based on the recognition that we are not— and never can be— normal eaters.

God's Here

Yes, I know, it's not just you and me, God's here, too. Somehow he doesn't bother me as much as you. That's weird. I understand. But still... I want you to like me. I guess I start at the beginning? I used to take Bubba's candy and toy cars. The kindergarten teacher caught me scratching tables. In second grade I hit a little girl. What? You want more? Oh. Just different. The exact nature of our wrongs? I'm scared all the time. I'm always into me, not you, not him, not God. I hide my head in mindless games, an ostrich in the sand, and hurry to anything that promises oblivion when, unprepared, I fall face-flat to floor. Simple things I didn't do haunt me so I wreck a friendship when she can't recall my wrong, just knows I avoid her. I lie and cheat to duck the blame, defame a saint to feel less odious, to blunt the pain. It's who I am, the best I've managed yet, abjectly miserable. So there, you see, I thank you for your time and kindness to me. I know you hate me now. You what? How could you love me at all, much less more? Yes, I feel your love. And God's.

Incredulous Love

I love you. You know I didn’t always — hated, loathed, despised — never ever expected love to enter in. I can’t dispute you deserve the wrath. I let you sabotage my life to shambles yet clung to you as my only hope — such a dope I was — and you. Your ugly face remains the same but changed expansively to something fair, near radiant at times. We’ve blossomed, you and I, my mirror image. I stand before you, humble, calm, amazed to love you.

Like a Mighty Wind

The wind adopts personas, props, attributes as roles require — A breeze docile, gentle, serene, soothing troubled water. A whirling dervish prodding, probing, disrobing treasures, divulging faults. A gale grabbing grit, hurling dirt, sandblasting paint chips, debris, trash, scouring to naked essence. Blustering gusts portend long-sought showers, the gift of life, breaking heat that bakes the soul. The Pentecostal wind adopts personas, grace disguised.

Affirmations

Affirmations aren’t a substitute for accepting reality. They aren’t a form of control. They need to be used with heavy doses of surrender, spirituality, and letting go. ~Beattie, Melody. Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time (p. 127). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

What do you need to affirm to make your life better? Do these work for you? I love myself. I am grateful for my body and all it has done for me. I am powerful beyond my wildest dreams. I accept myself unconditionally. I have permission from the universe to be myself. The ultimate sin is knowing who I am and not being true to that. Every day my self-worth is growing. I am worthy of all the joys and riches in the universe. I honor my own life path and appreciate the journey. My mind, body, and soul is a beautiful expression of y individuality. I give myself permission to heal. I am not my pain. I accept the lesson I am learning through my pain. My body has everything it needs to heal. I am better now than I was before this happened to me. I choose peace no matter what. I forgive myself for the part I played in my current situation. I forgive anyone I feel has hurt me. I am kind to myself and others. I will help others experiencing this so that they won’t make the same mistakes I did. I am creating a life that is beyond my imagination. I love what I do and I do what I love. What I do makes a positive impact on the world. I believe in myself. I am a born creator and I create the life that I want. Circumstances don’t define me and they won’t stop me from moving forward. I will never give up, give in, or quit. Abundance is all around me. Everything I touch prospers. The more I have. The more I have to give. Source: venturingvalue.com How will you affirm yourself today?

Yo My Sponsor's God

you didn’t do bad last night i told you thanks for a lousy day and you didn’t get mad i asked you to keep me clean just today and somehow i am i asked you to stop my dumb mouth at the boss he grinned when i left said i’d done good so thanks for a not bad day can you do it again i’d be much obliged

Hanging on the Hyphen

I came defeated, demoralized, victimized by my addiction. Powerless over my lover cum stalker, unmanageable an incongruous understatement, Step One stood a rock-solid given. Sure, I’d toss that to any power, higher, lower, alien, hostile. Take it, please! Take the addiction; my life will bloom again. So why the other eleven? Why the talk of life and will, of resentment, fear, of amends? The addiction’s gone, thank you very much. I’m through. A hyphen? Yes, I see that. Truth be told, it’s a dash. So what? “Denotes a sudden change in construction or sentiment” or “indicates what’s not expected, not a natural outcome of what’s gone before.” OUR LIVES have become unmanageable? This POWER wants my LIFE?