Power Is/Isn't...

 

Power is not controlling other people. Power is controlling yourself. Trying to control other people is the first sign that you are entirely out of control. Controlling other people is what weak people think power looks like. ~Kalen Dion

Controlling other people has another name…
It’s codependency, excessive emotional
or psychological reliance on a partner,
typically one who requires support
on account of an illness or addiction.
It’s not the invalid/addict
who has a codependency issue.
The codependent person often
takes on a “caretaker” role.
Real power is not the tie that binds many
of us in this trap called codependency.
Real power is detachment when you feel drawn
to rush to the rescue!
Power to you!

"Just Fine"

 

Fine, meaning  “F***ed-up. Insecure. Neurotic, Emotional.” Recovery Definition

I’ve been harassed for answering, “Just Fine”
for more than seventy years.
I was told for many years of being hospitalized
for pneumonia with a high fever at age three
and answering so. My husband asked how I was
this morning and declared my answer, “Okay”
didn’t mean a thing. My sponsor replies,
“What does that mean?”when I answer so.
I really am just fine, but sometimes
the Recovery definition fits quite well.
But for today in answer to the question,
“How are you?” the true response is,
I’m a compulsive overeater in Recovery
and I’m trusting my Higher Power
to make the truth I’m making the appropriate choices
and moving in the right direction.

A Leading Measure of Your Habits

 

Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits. Your net worth is a lagging measure of your financial habits. Your weight is a lagging measure of your eating habits. Your knowledge is a lagging measure of your learning habits. Your clutter is a lagging measure of your cleaning habits. You get what you repeat. ~ Clear, James. Atomic Habits (p. 18). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

I’ve made a new Google sheet,
stating the habits I want to develop
and recorded those actions for today,
put it with a chat tab with a woman
who shares my problems and supports me
in my decision making. I know what tomorrow looks like
and have planned for two support calls
that make my Mondays special.
I’m re-reading two books that helped before,
knowing they will again.
I know the moment I broke the habit chains.
I know I can get them back and get back the great results.
Let me know how I can be of help to you
in getting the habits that make you who you want to do.

How We Meet Life's Events

 

Acknowledging our negative attitude is the first step to discovering happiness. As Humboldt said, “I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life, than on the nature of those events themselves.” ~ Casey, Karen.  A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Karen Casey concludes, “No one
can change my perception but me.”
Do you work to see positive effects
to the events of your life?
The Carter family provided
a soundtrack for our efforts:
Keep on the sunny side,
always on the sunny side
Keep on the sunny side of life…
We choose our reactions to events
and we can consciously
choose to be happy no matter what happens
Will you choose to see positive effects today?
Let’s try!

Merciful

 

Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. ~ Hebrews 2:17 (KJV)

We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 75

Mercy me!
Mercy! Me?
Merciful to me!
How can you know
my baseness,
my depravity,
and accept me?
How can one so good,
so pure,
not shun me
but hug me,
accept me,
love me?
Mercy!

God of grace,
God of mercy,
thank you for your faithfulness.

Rollins, Barbara with OAStepper. A Cloud of Witnesses – Two Big Books and Us. Eagle Wings Press imprint of Silver Boomer Books. Kindle Edition.

Good Enough Now

 

We will never be good enough until we change the messages and tell ourselves we are good enough now. ~Beattie, Melody.The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 175). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Do you expect perfection in ourselves
even while giving everyone else we know
the benefit of the doubt? I do.
I’m often disappointed in where I am,
in what I’ve accomplished, whether looking at a moment
or assessing the contributions of my life.
We can examine our day, recognize
what we could have done better
but accept what we’ve done
even while resolving to do better.
James Clear in Atomic Habits
argues convincingly,
“What starts as a small win
or a minor setback
accumulates into something much more.”
He calculates, 1% better every day for one year.
(1.01365 = 37.78) means you’re almost 38 times better
at year’s end.
We’re Good Enough Now!

The Endless Beginning of My Life

 

I’m thankful to OA for the endless beginning of my life. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Voices of Recovery. Overeaters Anonymous. Kindle Edition.

Thirteen years of OA completed.
Major changes in my life
including reaching finally…
after countless efforts in that direction
for sixty-one plus years…
a healthy body weight that medical people
and online charts affirm…
I have reached the goal!
Then Monday morning my sponsor
asked me what I’m doing about
Step Eleven and I had no ready answer
and listened to her advice
to read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
beginning at the bottom of page 85
where we’re told what to do at bedtime
then on awakening, we include God
in our plan for the day, and think about what we expect,
including God and his insights in the plan.
Later I participated in an informal OA meeting
among old friends, where three of us have known each other
most of the thirteen years.
We talked about where we were,
spread around the world physically
but close friends nonetheless
and we planned our week,
sharing concerns and
supporting each other
in challenges to come.
I’m truly thankful to OA
for the endless beginning of my life!
and for these women who are all such a major
support system for me!!

Casting Lots

 These searched for their family records, but they could not find them and so were excluded from the priesthood as unclean. The governor, therefore, ordered them not to eat any of the most sacred food until there should be a priest ministering with the Urim and Thummim. ~ Ezra 7:64-65

Cleromancy is a form of casting lots,
so an outcome is determined
by means that normally would be considered
random! Not surprising, is it?
That rolling dice is considered random
cannot be questioned, can it?
So why does the Bible speak of the
Urim and Thummim, biblical dice,
six times as ways of ascertaining through
their use God’s will?
Can a ouija board lead to truth finding?
We have sung a hymn for three hundred years,
“God Moves in a Mysterious Way”
and the idea feels settled fact.
Does God speak through flipping a coin,
or drawing names from a hat?
It certainly is possible for God
to reveal His will in any way
we can understand it is the response
we seek and when it leads us to our frequently
seeking to know Him and His Will.

Urim and Thummim

Arguing with Yourself

There are two voices in our minds: a quiet, loving voice and a loud, generally spiteful voice. The latter will always direct us to the unhealthy places, but we can learn to detach from that voice and to relish the quiet one instead. Prayer will always lead us back to where we want to be. ~ Casey , Karen. Let Go Now. (p. 121). Mango Media. Kindle Edition. 

Do you have a split personality?
Probably not, nor a dissociative identity disorder,
nor any diagnosable mental disorder!
But when you talk to yourself...
you do, do you not?...do you hear different 
voices and attitudes internalized?
Have you been mad at the whole world
and ready to take on all comers?
When you talk to yourself are you kind?
Do you have ideas about what you'd like to say 
to someone who irritates you? Do you say it
or do you clean it up...nice it up 
before you speak? Have you made an effort
to seek out the kind you in talking to yourself
or to someone else? We can learn to detach
from that voice and to relish the quiet one instead.
Prayer will always lead us back to where we want to be.
Shall we try that today? 

Image copyright: Ioulia Bolchakova

 

  

How Do the Open-Minded Forgive?

 

How do the open-minded forgive? They have let go all things that would prevent forgiveness. They have in truth abandoned the world, and let it be restored to them in newness and in joy so glorious they could never have conceived of such a change. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen.  A Course in Miracles . Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition.

How  do open-minded people forgive?
It sounds so simple. They have
already let go of all things
that would have prevented forgiveness!
Abandoning the world,
leaving only what God had designed…
getting back to the creation as created
new and gloriously restored
to perfection. Could it be easier?
Not if we abandon our “need”
to improve on what’s perfect!

Image Copyright : Wang Shuang

The Law and the Promise

 Brothers and sisters, let me take an example from everyday life. Just as no one can set aside or add to a human covenant that has been duly established, so it is in this case. The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. Scripture does not say “and to seeds,” meaning many people, but “and to your seed,” meaning one person, who is Christ. What I mean is this: The law, introduced 430 years later, does not set aside the covenant previously established by God and thus do away with the promise.

For if the inheritance depends on the law, then it no longer depends on the promise; but God in his grace gave it to Abraham through a promise. ~ Galatians 3:15-18

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. ~ A.A. World Services Inc. Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition. A.A. World Services, Inc. Kindle Edition.

Promises made, promises kept.
The Big Book continues, 
"Are these extravagant promises?
We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us—
sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them."
There is order in the universe
when we take the needed steps,
when we respond to the Good News
inherent in both big books!
We have promises laid out
that seem too good to be true.
But they're not!
If we accept the offer made,
if we do our part,
we find life
better than than we could have imagined! 

 

God, give us the courage to do it your way,
to accept the life you have made available to us!

 

Getting It Done

 

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour. You don’t have to do it all today. Just lay a brick.” ~ James Clear

What do you intend to get done this year?
I vowed again to finish a book
I’ve talked about for twenty-six years.
I haven’t touched with the year half finished.
Nor have I pulled out the research and hit a lick.
I’ve laid bricks for other books. But years pile up.
Bricks should, too?
What do you intend to get done this year?
Are you putting down bricks to move that direction?

The Lessons in our Judgments

 

Our judgments of others generally reflect how we feel about ourselves at the time. When we are in tune with our spiritual center and feeling confident, we are comfortable with others too. Going within ourselves is a tool we can use for getting free of our judgments. When they begin to shadow our thoughts, we can go within and find God and freedom. ~ Casey, Karen. A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Do you disapprove of things others do?
If you’re honest about negative thoughts
about someone else, can you see anything
similar in your actions?
Can you think of a time when other’s actions
seemed like things you had thought and done before?
If something like that had happened but “now”
you were in tune with your spiritual center
and feeling confident,  did that change how you felt
with the one who reminded you of yourself?
Were you then more comfortable with others as well?

Mot Pleasure in Loving

 

There is more pleasure in loving than in being beloved. ~ Thomas Fuller

Is there more pleasure in loving
than there is in being loved?
For me it’s certainly more comfortable!
I don’t want to be looked at, to be praised,
to accept thanks or acknowledgement
of my acts.I need to be loved, to be acknowledged
as worthy. But don’t look at me closely!
I prefer to stand in the shadows,
to acknowledge the company,
the achievements of others.
But I need to be loved to feel worthy.
I need to be loved in order to serve.

A Life Worthy of your Calling

 

…I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ~ Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV

Have you been called to faith,
to the spiritual, to belief
in a Power greater than you,
to turn your mind, your heart, your being,
over to that Power? Do you choose to live a life
worthy of that calling? Have you become
completely humble and gentle;
can you be patient,
bearing with one another in love?
Are toy willing to make every effort
to keep the unity of the Spirit
through the bond of peace?
What needs to change to reach this standard?

 

 

Five Minutes

 

Today I will take five minutes to think about how I can help my recovery by trusting myself and other people. ~ Anonymous. Today I Will Do One Thing: Daily Readings For Awareness and Hope (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 2349-2350).

Do I trust myself? Who do I trust?
I trust myself more this evening than I did
yesterday morning. For I spent hours
sorting piles and stacks and bundles
of trash with a few useful gems…like a car title…
to make the effort meaningful. I went to an office
where I assumed I could resolve a five-year-old problem
I’ve studiously avoided facing for a month.
It was a useless trip, but I wasn’t only wishing it gone.
I have shown myself worthy of trust and can give it to myself
more readily today. I trust I will see it done tomorrow,
at least my part, so I will be trustworthy tomorrow.
And who do I trust…and is it contingent as it is for me?
I trust the people I’ve dealt with today, believe
while maybe I needed more of some but did not ask.
I trust the Recovery people with whomI will begin the tomorrow,
believe they will say what I need to hear. I trust me
to hear what I need. Most of all, I trust my God
to lead me as I need…if I allow it.

Image Copyright : Alena Saklakova

Acting As If

 

The key to acting “as if” is faith. The way to faith is through my fears. I have made progress and stay entirely ready when I turn fears over to my faith and simply act “as if.”

As we discussed, acting “as if” can seem to be in conflict with being genuine and authentic. However, when we are willing (making choices) to make positive progress and to have God shape us toward our potential as spiritual beings, then acting in accordance with those intentions is genuine in spite of our real feelings. ~ P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara. Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven (p. 20). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

You can act as if you’re abstinent,
besides all the other stuff.
Act as if you came to believe
a Power greater than you just might
restore you to sanity.
You can act as if you made a decision
to turn your will and your life and will
over to the care of God
whether you understood Him or not.
You can do the best you can
on an inventory and act as if
it’s fearless. You can do your inventory,
showing up and following the lead
of your sponsor or whoever you choose.
Act like you’re not afraid, as though
you know what you’re doing.
Act as if. Fake it until you make it.
When we are willing, when we choose
the best guess as to what we should do,
when we are willing to have God
shape us toward our potential as spiritual beings,
then acting in accordance
with those intentions is genuine
in spite of our real feelings.
The key to getting where you want to be
is faith whether it feels like
you have it or not.

Your Thoughts

 Your thoughts are not orders. Merely suggestions. You have the power to choose which option to follow. ~ James Clear

When did you last stand up to your thoughts?
Do you treat them like orders?
Can you sort out ideas, procrastination,
habitual reactions? Are you angered
to hear a suggestion from someone
who’s indifference to interrupting you
is what you really want to express?
Do you feel obligated to act on his whims
rather that your own? If he lives
as Daddy once ordered, “When I say jump
your only reaction should be, ‘how high?'”
Can you respond with Henley,
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
Your thoughts are not orders. Merely suggestions.
Others’ thoughts are not orders.
Merely suggestions.
You have the power to choose which option to follow.
You have the power to choose how much power to yield.

Chagrinned

 I said I would, I meant I would,
I remembered the wrong day,
I didn’t. Disdain, self-loathing,
disgust, vexation, humiliation,
mortification.
I’m so sorry.
An honest mistake. I’d forgive others.
How can I learn to forgive myself?

Image Copyright: 123rf.com/profile_hirokoji

Replenishing Willpower

 

There are things we can do to replenish our stores of willpower. Glucose restores it. Prayer, meditation, social connection, sleep, and gratitude restore it, too. ~ Thompson, Susan Peirce. Bright Line Eating (p. 31). Hay House. Kindle Edition.

Did you stop reading at “glucose”?
Or is that the one you remember
upon completing the list?
Remember, if you’re a compulsive eater
you’ve tried the glucose solution…
day after day, week after week,
year after year!!
So, read past the concept that glucose
can help with depleted willpower!
Know it simply hurts far, far more
than it ever could help you.
Know you can get all the glucose
you can effectively use
most fruits, oatmeal, nuts, legumes,
garlic, and yogurt…
must I say, “not together!?”
to get the glucose to help with willpower…
and that prayer, meditation,
social connection, sleep, and gratitude
are there and replenish willpower as well.
But willpower is not required
if you have taken Step Three
and turned your will and your life over
to a Power greater than you!

Greatest Need

 Our group, our recovery, our friends, our support.
So important to my getting better, this weekly time
that means so much to me. I really don’t need to explain,
to answer questions, to start at the beginning,
to read all the instructions, to deal with tears, denial,
timidity, temerity, all the issues that come with someone new.
Then we read that Twelfth Step. Having had a spiritual awakening
as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message
to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principle
in all our affairs. As the result.
It’s part of the steps.That ridiculous thing people say to a newcomer,“You’re the most important person in the room.”
Well, yes, they are more trouble when they comebut we need them to carry the message, to learn
from what we say to them and from what they say to us.
They really are the most important people in the room,
these newcomers.

Twisted Straitened -- Lacking Counted

 

What is twisted cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted. ~ Ecclesiastes 1:15 (NIV)

Oh, but I could try, couldn’t I?
No. He’s right. Even straightened,
bends make weak spots.
And you can’t count what’s not there
though it’s never stopped me from trying.
When this book is finished,
I can sell it.
With the money I’ll…
I’ll count it when it’s done and sold.
Now I’ve 207 verses to go.
Here and now is what I’ve got.
Yesterday’s saved as joys or regrets.
Tomorrow’s beyond my reach.
So right now, today,
I might affect —
might make joys –
for tomorrow.
Or regrets.

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”

A Time for Verse: Poetic Ponderings on Ecclesiastes by Barbara B. Rollins

We've Tried

So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard? So also Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” ~ Galatians 3:5-6 (NTSB)

The doctor said: “You have the mind of a chronic alcoholic. I have never seen one single case recover, where that state of mind existed to the extent that it does in you.” Our friend felt as though the gates of hell had closed on him with a clang.

He said to the doctor, “Is there no exception?”

“Yes,” replied the doctor, “there is. Exceptions to cases such as yours have been occurring since early times. Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 27

We’ve tried.
Followed the rules,
pursued the rabbit tracks,
tried and failed
again and again.
Willpower, resolution, determination,
threatened consequences,
actual loss…
nothing works.
Is there no exception?
Yes.
Here and there
once in a while
it happens —
a vital spiritual experience.
We believe what we’ve heard
and miracles happen.

God, grant me serenity.
Grant me awareness
I’m powerless,
Give me a miracle.
Please! 

Priests of What Are Not Gods

 

4 Abijah stood on Mount Zemaraim, in the hill country of Ephraim, and said, “Jeroboam and all Israel, listen to me! 

5 Don’t you know that the Lord, the God of Israel, has given the kingship of Israel to David and his descendants forever by a covenant of salt?

 6 Yet Jeroboam son of Nebat, an official of Solomon son of David, rebelled against his master. 7 Some worthless scoundrels gathered around him and opposed Rehoboam son of Solomon when he was young and indecisive and not strong enough to resist them.

8 “And now you plan to resist the kingdom of the Lord, which is in the hands of David’s descendants. You are indeed a vast army and have with you the golden calves that Jeroboam made to be your gods. 9 But didn’t you drive out the priests of the Lord, the sons of Aaron, and the Levites, and make priests of your own as the peoples of other lands do? Whoever comes to consecrate himself with a young bull and seven rams may become a priest of what are not gods…” ~ II Chronicles 13 NIV

Whoever comes to consecrate himself
with a young bull and seven rams
may become a priest of what are not gods.
When you get the premise wrong,
the rest is screwed up no matter what it is.
What do you fundamentally believe is true?
Is there a truth that trumps all truths?
Is there a Power Greater than you?
Do you relate to that Power on a personal level?
How does the universe function?
What is your role in the universe?

FreeBibleImages.org

Tenth and Eleventh Steps

 

Before going to bed I will do a brief inventory of my behavior. Knowing who I really am is important to me. ~ Casey, Karen., A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

10.  Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. ~ Steps 11 and 12

What have I done today
I could have done better?
There were two phone calls
I intended to make today,
I haven’t and it’s rude to call this late.
I decided a week ago to do morning pages again,
defined as three handwritten pages
before anything else. My dogs disagree.
The first thing I do must be to let them outside.
And they and the people intend to eat next.
I skimped on three pages today as well.
An appointment I thought I had is next week,
another I didn’t remember but got there
just barely late. I ate what I needed
and nothing more but temptation tugged
through the day. I got only half the daily steps goal
because of a muddy yard and expected discouraging words.
I’ve said nothing critical, have been supportive and kind.
I read from the Bible and ten other daily readings,
examining my relationships with God, those I’ve spoken to,
and myself. I will make the two calls tomorrow
I believe I know who I really am today, how I fit
with God and my world, and have no major regrets.

Letting Go of Hanging on

 

This overwhelming sense of fear shadowed me throughout the first three decades of my life. Until I was introduced to the concept that I had a Higher Power who traveled with me and who always “picked me” as worthy, I fought the urge to hang on to whoever wandered close by . Hanging on to others , in the way I did , suffocated many potential friendships . I really never believed it was possible to be free of the fear that crippled me. But I am. No longer do I look to others for my self-worth. No longer am I afraid. Period. What changed ? I developed the willingness to believe that life gives us the journey we were meant to have and that we aren’t alone on this trip. And this willingness is available to all of us. ~ Casey, Karen. Let Go Now (p. 50). Mango Media. Kindle Edition.

I’ve often claimed the truth that
“Procrastination is chronic low-intensity fear,”
all the while knowing my life
was characterized by that fear
and its result. While I’ve been freed
of neither procrastination or fear,
I have reached the point I can confirm
with Casey, “I developed the willingness
to believe that life gives us the journey
we were meant to have
and that we aren’t alone on this trip.
And this willingness is available to all of us.”
Are you ready to let go of hanging on?
Let’s give it a try!

from:https://www.youthareawesome.com

Running Away

 

May my Higher Power stop me in my tracks if I am running away from myself. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Location 2206). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Do you scare yourself?
Are you afraid others will see you
and, seeing you, think you’re as worthless
as you believe yourself to be?
Are you appalled, believing people will learn
your worst secrets, your deplorable deeds?
Are you running away from yourself?
Would you if you could?
Don’t run away from yourself.
To run is a false peace.
The only way is to stay in the now,
in the you, in the imperfection
Live. Reside in true peace.
Bring you with yourself.
And enjoy the day.

Iron Moe