In Wellness Here (III of III)

Come on in, we're all in wellness here.
I can accept or decline.
I could. If I were willing.
God, make me willing...or at least
willing to be willing...It's childish to remain in rebellion,
to decline what I heartily desire
because nobody's going to tell me
what to do. It's letting the thought control,
moreso than actually being told to act.
It's like that "moreso" word
used more than twenty years now
though disapproved by spellcheck,
by the authorities. I could make it two words
and get rid of the pesky red dots yelling.
But it's not wrong, so I'll use it.
I'll use moreso when I don't really want red dots
and decline to accept a healing community
when I long for it desperately.
Okay, I'll tolerate the red dots,
knowing they go away when the post is published.
And I'll tolerate the command to come in,
accepting gratefully what I really want to do,
and I will enter completely the healing community
I've eyed from a distance for far too long.
I believe. Help my unbelief!