Fooled Fool

I could tell myself I was educated,
respected, affluent, successful,
appreciated, living a meaningful life.
I could tell myself those things —
I could convince other people they were true,
but I couldn't persuade myself to believe.

I knew from the bottom of my heart
I was a fraud, a failure, a pathetic creature.
I knew I lied, pretended, faked my way through,
made a putrid predicament of a pitiful parade.
I was a buffoon, a dolt, an idiot, a clown,
dull and tedious, insipid and uninspired.

Until I was not. Until I found Recovery.
Until I turned toward home and began,
at last, to comprehend. Yes, I was a fool.
But one who didn't have to be. I was a fool
who eventually stumbled on the truth,
that the fooled fool could have it all,
be it all, realize it all, and live a life of joy,
of peace, of understanding, love, and serenity,
no fooling!