In the beginning I felt only that I didn’t fit in; by the end I was a complete outsider. ~ Overeaters Anonymous, Third Edition (Kindle Locations 1165-1166).
Just wait, it will get better. Or so they say.
But does it? Not automatically. Oh, yes,
eventually everything runs a course,
circles back, swings the pendulum.
But sometimes it feels like forever
that you've been stuck at that point or,
worse, trying to hold to bad while sliding,
slipping, careening towards beastly.
And it makes it worse because you expect it
because you deserve it because if you didn't
then surely something would have let up
on the relentless wretchedness.
But does it? Not automatically. Oh, yes,
eventually everything runs a course,
circles back, swings the pendulum.
But sometimes it feels like forever
that you've been stuck at that point or,
worse, trying to hold to bad while sliding,
slipping, careening towards beastly.
And it makes it worse because you expect it
because you deserve it because if you didn't
then surely something would have let up
on the relentless wretchedness.
But there's good news! That's lack of power,
powerlessness. It's the inability to cope,
unmanageability. It's the bottom rung,
the lowest low, rock bottom, the pit.
And from there, if you find the right people,
if you discover a simple program,
you can begin the journey,
made possible simply because
you reached the underbelly.
And then you take a proffered hand
and find your way to a high as high
as your low was low.
powerlessness. It's the inability to cope,
unmanageability. It's the bottom rung,
the lowest low, rock bottom, the pit.
And from there, if you find the right people,
if you discover a simple program,
you can begin the journey,
made possible simply because
you reached the underbelly.
And then you take a proffered hand
and find your way to a high as high
as your low was low.
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