I Don't Want To

I would rather do anything...
everything...whatever it takes...
not to have to resign
as your sponsor. I'm not the best.
Sometimes I feel like the worst,
but I know that's the disease
taking over my thoughts and mouth,
my heart and will. It's not me
and I need not quit, need merely
try more diligently to be there,
to listen, to share what works for me,
to care. I want to be there
but it's necessary when I fail
to maintain abstinence, to not just slip
but fall on my face and quit trying.
When I'm not abstinent
I'm not a proper sponsor
so, while I hate to resign,
I'll hold that thought in my mind
and use it as my strength
to hold onto abstinence
and not have to write
an apology such as this.

Copyright: micro10x / 123RF Stock Photo