Gone Awry

I had often heard that my character defects were good instincts gone awry, but it never quite registered. If they started out as assets, then why wouldn’t God want to convert them back? ~ Voices of Recovery (Kindle Locations 1998-1999).

Character defects. Assets gone awry. Really?
So what assets were they? The defects
can't really be numbered, but many exist...in me.
Anger, anxiety, arrogance (oh, yeah!),
a closed mind, co-dependency, pessimism,
dishonesty a.k.a. lying, the king of my defects,
fear, gluttony (well, it served a purpose!)
impatience (that one hits hard!), jealousy,
envy, procrastination, self pity...poor poor me!
Those are the major ones. I'd gossip if I remembered names,
if I knew who people were talking about when I heard,
but little chance of that! And that's enough
though it's far from all I have. And the good
skewed in all of those? Hum...

Anger. What do I need, an antonym?
Placate, pacify, give pleasure? Are those good?
Those are opposites of the word, not the defect.
Try acceptance, tolerance, understanding.
I'd be fine with my anger changing to those.
Anxiety. Not a biggie for me. Humph.
There's that bully dishonesty in there! Lying to me!
Is anxiety serenity skewed? Arrogance.
Black sheep in the family of modesty?
I'd take the cousin, trade it for my need
to toot my horn, to tell you I'm special
just so you won't see how little I think of me.
So what's the lying? People pleasing.
Saying what you want to hear, what I want to believe,
what I think you expect. I please you best
by living the life of recovery. Yes, the pendulum swings.
There is a yin for the yang, an asset for the defect.
My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me,
good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me
every single defect of character which stands in the way
of my usefulness to You and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here,
to do Your bidding. Amen.