These are the products of my self-centered fear: negativity, anxiety, living in a future not yet formed with an ungrateful heart. I see only what my disease has taken from me — everything that I “deserved.” ~ Voices of Recovery (Kindle Locations 2219-2221).
What do I deserve? I'd have told you...
well, in my negativity would still tell you...
that I don't deserve much, have no worth.
But there's another part of me that believes
that I deserve to stop for sweets,
to go from drive-through to drive-through,
to eat all the sweet treats I can stuff down
because life's not fine, whatever I can sneak,
the sugar high that makes it all go away...
or once did, long years ago, before it failed.
But with maturity sometimes comes wisdom.
Knowledge that what I deserve is neither disdain
not food not good for my body. No, what I deserve
is the recovery that comes from eating food
for nutrition, for fuel, for sanity and recovery,
and that what I deserve is all the wonderful promises
that can bring.
well, in my negativity would still tell you...
that I don't deserve much, have no worth.
But there's another part of me that believes
that I deserve to stop for sweets,
to go from drive-through to drive-through,
to eat all the sweet treats I can stuff down
because life's not fine, whatever I can sneak,
the sugar high that makes it all go away...
or once did, long years ago, before it failed.
But with maturity sometimes comes wisdom.
Knowledge that what I deserve is neither disdain
not food not good for my body. No, what I deserve
is the recovery that comes from eating food
for nutrition, for fuel, for sanity and recovery,
and that what I deserve is all the wonderful promises
that can bring.
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