Just In Case

Dear Me: I write this because right now I finally feel like I’m really in Recovery. Or should I say I feel like I’m a recovered compulsive eater? Someone said in the meeting today he was recovered from compulsive eating. Is that what I am? Ouch! That feels boastful, pretentious, arrogant! Not at all right. But is it wrong to deny the changes in me? Do I err in getting cocky? More than the error in claiming still I’m powerless? People who have no idea I’m in OA, that I struggled for years with food obsession, even those people see a difference, ask me why, what happened, want to know my secret. And telling them makes abstinence easier, reinforces my conviction. So…what do I call myself in the rooms? The absolute truth is I have a fatal disease of gluttony in remission only so long as I surrender every morning with reinforcing repeats as needed, I can hold on to the gift. And, Me, I want you to remember to remind me, to jerk me back to Recovery if anything I do, any word I say, any thought that pops up triggers me to know, holds me in the surrender, brings that reality to mind and I remember to do the next right thing, to think the next right thought, to find within me the Recovery I crave!