A Letter to my Child

My dear daughter, I know what I did to you and I know now that you know the how and why. I passed on to you my hair color, my eyes, even my moles, but those are fine... the problem was I passed on as well my insecurities, my fears, my habits and the ways I used to deal... the hidden eating, the snacks in the car then hiding the evidence... but I guess a parent seldom knows how much the child sees,  admiring and learning just because it seems like honoring your parent, doing what I did...not knowing how I despised it. Dear, I've watched you as an adult, how you made yourself miserable, copying me in the choice of men, in how you dealt with them, in trying to earn their love... I know it didn't work for you any more than it did for me. But I've seen you, too, work out your life with those meetings and I love what it does for you and I love that you're passing on  to my grandchildren better than what I passed to you.