A Compulsive Overeater Powerless to Stop

I've eaten all my life, hungry or not.

Food is more than nourishment of body
but a comfort when afraid, a solace
for insults suffered, a way to rejoice,
a remedy to placate guilt when I act
without thinking through and hurt someone else.

I am a compulsive eater and powerless to stop.

 

Surely my willpower is as strong as all around.
Others see the issue and give advice

that surely I can follow if all those others can.
Sometimes it works and I conquer the urges
but as soon as weight is lost and I relax
eating with a vengeance starts anew, but more...
more food, more weight, more powerless than was,
up and down, more determined, more depraved, worse.

I am a compulsive eater and powerless to stop.

 

Others tell my story, claim it as their own,
tell of working Twelve Steps, how they learned
it is a disease, that they and I really can't do this
but there's a Power that can, that works for them
erasing urges, setting aside resentment, surrendering.
Glory be, it works for me a day at a time holding strong although

I am a compulsive eater and powerless to stop.