But, God!

I do believe, but you’re not giving me what I want. Wah!! - Miranda

But I prayed!I told God what I needed,
how to fix it, and what happened?
Nothing! I'm consistent.
Every day I tell God
who to bless, what they need,
how to make my day better,
what I need out of my way.
I pray. Consistently.
Insistently. And it's like
I'm talking to myself.

And I prayed!
I decided to try to connect
not because I believed
but because Sarah did,
and Dani told of blessings
that came from prayer.
I just recited simple words,
the same ones every day,
asking God's forgiveness
for the day's failings,
asking what constructive measures
I should do. I ask God
to direct my thinking,
that I not get mired
in self pity, that I be honest,
that I not put my self first.
When I do that, I have good ideas,
guidance when I need it.
I stop during the day,
listen for guidance,
and when I stop struggling,
the answer comes.
I ask to know my next right step.
If I can't remember what to ask,
I say, "Your will, God, not mine!"
And it works. It's like
God's talking to me.