Three Parts of Me

We who once suffered from complete powerlessness to control our eating and our lives have now discovered the saving strength of a Power greater than ourselves. We have experienced the miracle of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing, just as we were promised when we began working these Steps. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition. Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. Kindle Edition.

The miracle of healing:
physical, emotional, and spiritual —
has always been mine.
Yet as long as I acted as if
my Higher Power, my God
as I choose to call Him,
was responsible only for the spiritual,
as long as I figured physical
and emotional were up to me,
I was confident of salvation,
of the Fatherhood of God,
eternity would eventually come,
but my separating out
the physical, which was catastrophic,
embarrassing, a fat pudgy mess…
that God couldn’t possibly claim,
and must have abandoned
to my ineptitude,
as well as the emotional…
in that I hated me,
could imagine nobody, nothing,
accepting or claiming
certainly not transforming
into something useful,
lovable, commendable…
until finally I discovered
the saving strength
of a Power greater than myself.
So now I have experienced
the miracle of physical,
emotional, and spiritual healing,
just as the folks in OA promised when I came into the circle of love and began working the marvelous Steps!

I Wished I had Her Body

My older sister was tall and thin,
could reach top shelves flat-footed,
fit clothes from the rack
provided they covered her knees.
I lacked inches in height,
had excess in girth, wore "chubby"
then in an allegedly "kinder gentler
age, "plus sizes" and later odd-numbered
  pieces. While climbed up to size 28,
my sister in crisis years at 5'9"
weighed less than a hundred pounds.
Grass is greener elsewhere,
or so it seems, but we both found
answers for our needs.
Married to two alcoholics, one active,
the other dry, she found Al-Anon
to meet her needs and the same twelve steps
pulled me into Overeaters Anonymous.
Her struggle was no easier than mine,
nor mine than hers. But Recovery waits
for all fortunate enough to find the groups
that meet our needs.

Pushing Against

“Whatever you are pushing against, you are stuck to.” ~ Werner Erhard

What don’t you want to do?
I don’t want to write a poem tonight
nor do I want to cheat by recycling an old one.
Werner Erhard, according to Wikipedia,
is a critical thinker and author.
I’ve spent oodles of time searching
for Erhard’s context without finding help.
So, how do you get unstuck?
You look for a statement
easier to analyze,
or you decide why you’re drawn to it,
i.e., why I’m stuck to it!
I obviously didn’t want to write this.
What don’t you want to do?

Desperate Enough to Excel

Diet’s didn’t work,
the weight lurked,
ruled, oppressed.
Overeaters Anonymous?
You’ve got to be kidding.
People sitting in a circle,
reading, talking,
chanting rituals.
No diets, no reporting,
no plans to follow.
Just talk about insanity,
some higher power,
resentments, fear,
face people we’d harmed.
What changes is life!
Weight loss is a byproduct.

The World In God's Hands

Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:15 (NIV)

What will be has been before,
and our God remembers it.
God recalls the future
like we remember the past.
He’s got the whole world in his hands.
God has the universe
and the time/space continuum
in his hands.
What? Should I worry? Me?

God, give us the power to trust
like a baby grinning up
at the outstretched arms of a loving parent.
Amen. So be it.

A Time for Verse: Poetic Ponderings on Ecclesiastes by Barbara B. Rollins

Releasing Myself from Captivity

Our thoughts hold our actions hostage. When we’re angry, we lash out at other people, often innocent bystanders. If we’re harboring self-pity, our sullenness punishes others. Resentments cling to us, tainting our relationships. In each case, our behavior reflects what’s on our minds. ~ Casey, Karen. A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Is it really true?
Do out thoughts hold
our actions hostage?
If my thoughts are self-pitying,
my anger causes me to lash out
at innocent bystanders…
even dogs just being guilty of being dog-like?
Or someone who shares my life
when they critique me
for bringing cola
when they’d requested tea?
Do I harbor harboring self-pity
and sullenness while resentment simmers
inside me?
I keep reading that my behavior
reflects what’s on my mind,
not what happens around me.
God, I believe it. Please help my unbelief!

Make a Habit of Peace

There is no new twist here, only a new choice. Perhaps the easiest decision is this: affirm “I will act from a peaceful heart all day today.” And then grade yourself. Feel good about every encounter where you remained peaceful. Forgive yourself for every time you failed, affirming your intention to do better the next time. Changing a bad habit isn’t that difficult if we make the new habit a simple one. Try being peaceful. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a Renewed Beginning (pp. 174-175). Mango Media. Kindle Edition.

“I will act from a peaceful heart all day today.”
The first challenge is to remember
this resolution before any act of the day.
Mine needs to come before the dogs wake me
or at least before I get up and open the door for them.
Then I need hold it in mind all day long,
before the television nudges my negativity,
before the dogs demand the door allow
ingress and egress when routine sets
another priority. But I need not change
Bear’s scratching the door
or Benji’s ramming it… “only”
my emotional reaction to the communication.
Then there’s another human in the house
fully as capable of pushing my exasperation point.
None of that precludes my determination to the truth
that “I will act from a peaceful heart all day today.”
I will forgive myself for every time I fail,
affirming my intention to do better the next time.
Repeating the intention and effort daily,
Peace will begin to be a habit.
I will try being peaceful long enough
for peace to become a habit!

"Controlling" Others Troubles Us

…it’s our struggle to control the “hims and hers” in our lives that keeps us focused on the other person even when that person isn’t present. The obsession to control gets in the way of our sanity and serenity. We miss living our own lives when we obsessively focus on how the significant people in our lives are living theirs. ~ Casey, Karen. A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Do you disagree with others in your household
about how things should be done?
Do you fume over what they would say if they were present?
Do you roil about what Mother would tell you
fifty years after you left home?
Do you respond to to your Daddy’s truism
when he’s been gone for decades?
Do you find keeping sanity and serenity
hard to grasp because
you’re in a conversation within your head?
Let’s try today living our own lives
instead of obsessively focusing
on how the significant people
in our lives are living theirs!

How Crazy Is That?

I, Barbara Rollins, taught an adult Sunday school class for years. Sometime in 2005 or 2006 we decided to study Ecclesiastes, so I sat down to read it and wanted to argue. So I did and the partnership we had created to publish books took it on. In reading through the Bible in 2022, I decided to read my reaction to it. I’m sharing with you the Introduction to A Time for Verse – Poetic Ponderings on Ecclesiastes. Eagle Wings Press imprint of Silver Boomer Books. Kindle Edition.

Somewhere along the way, folks developed the habit of dishonesty with God. We speak to him – even of him – in hushed tones, reverently, even when we want to shout at him. Dare we question him? Can God be challenged? Not unless youʼre crazy! Who wants to be crazy?

The practice of forced reverence isnʼt healthy, wise, or honest. Godʼs tough. He can tolerate questioning, like Gideon asking for a physical sign. Twice. And that after the first miraculous proof! God stands up well to argument, as when Abraham convinced him to spare Sodom for the lives of fifty righteous men, then whittled down to forty-five, then forty, thirty, and finally ten. God allows us to negotiate, as when Deborah pleaded for a man to lead the army God called her to raise, and when Moses needed a spokesman in his place – a prophet – and God offered Aaron to address Pharaoh.

The Teacher who wrote Ecclesiastes knew this. He knew God trusts our intellect. Well, maybe he laughs at it rather than trusting it, but he certainly tolerates it. Heck, he made it, why wouldn’t he? The Teacher knew God hears our questions. Maybe he also knew God occasionally answers, as he did to Job, “Thatʼs my business, not yours.” But itʼs okay. Thatʼs how we talk to the people we know. And knowing God liberates oneʼs spirit, soul, and body! Who wants to be crazy?

Maybe nobody. But what a liberating truth the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous uncovered, knowing a fundamental step to a sane life is admitting our insanity, confessing weʼre crazy. And we can share our audacious ideas freely. Meaningless. Dare we judge Godʼs creation? The Teacher did. Everything is meaningless? Well, first letʼs define “meaning.” Perhaps “subject to a reasoned explanation.” How crazy is that? ~ Rollins, Barbara B. A Time for Verse – Poetic Ponderings on Ecclesiastes. Eagle Wings Press imprint of Silver Boomer Books. Kindle Edition.

Excess Baggage

Many of us come to OA carrying the excess baggage of shame and pride. We are ashamed that we’ve been unable to control our eating by ourselves, and yet we’re too proud to admit that we need help with our eating and our lives. In order to recover, we have to let go of shame and pride and actively reach out to others for help. As we practice anonymity, we begin this process of letting go. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition (p. 164). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. Kindle Edition.

Shame and pride, awful or awesome,
a surprising pairing.
But a pair we’re accustomed to
when we find Recovery!
We cannot stand ourselves
but want you to know
we’re worthy, respectable.
But we need neither.
We need to live as we want to be seen,
to become the people we always wanted to become!

Doomscrolling

Doomscrolling or Doomsurfing is the act of spending an excessive amount of screen time devoted to the absorption of negative news. Increased consumption of predominantly negative news may result in harmful psychophysiological responses in some. ~ en.wikipedia.org

Is doomscrolling not our world today
unless we’ve become paranoid
of the enmity everywhere we turn?
But there is an alternative to gloom and doom!
God is on his throne and has turned our world around
plenty of times in the past!
We need not spend an excessive amount
of screen time devoted to
the absorption of negative news.
We can stop and pray asking God to direct us
to news of His action and love in the world!
God is in charge and can guide our lives
and listening and still have time and energy
to turn us toward His light!

Poverty or Service

“Being poor is not having too little, it is wanting more.” ~ Seneca

How often do you want something,
just think that would be nice
and turn away thinking,
“I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
How often do you long for more?
Do you feel impoverished,
or do you feel called to do…or be…more?
Maybe it’s more true in possessing things
that Seneca was right. But isn’t it possible
God is calling you to be more, to do more?
But answering a call to be more,
to do more, isn’t really wanting more
but being willing to accept the responsibility
of being more, of giving more?
If you’re comfortable where you are
then being willing to accept more
to be more is service, not lust,
willingness, not poverty!
God, don’t let me avoid your call
when it is your call. As Isaiah said,
“Here I am, Lord, send me.”

Once we Take Step Three

Once we compulsive eaters truly take the Third Step, we cannot fail to recover. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition. Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

A bold statement, this one.
Just “truly take” Step Three
and we’re in? Really? After lifetimes
struggling for Recovery?
“Just” make a decision
to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God
as we understand Him?
All we must do is decide?
We don’t even have to manage
the transfer? We don’t!
God doesn’t demand perfection,
but he needs an authentic decision…
And from that, the legitimate choice
and trusting God, it really happens!
We have the actual magic to cede control
to He Who Can!

What Do I Believe?

At our core, we do know what we believe. We just have to be daring enough to reveal it to ourselves. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a Renewed Beginning (p. 168). Mango Media. Kindle Edition.

What do I believe?
I believe in God, the Father almighty,
maker of heaven and earth;
And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord;
who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead, and buried.
He descended into hell.
The third day he rose again from the dead.
He ascended into heaven,
and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father almighty.
From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Ghost,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body
, and the life everlasting. Amen.

Simple enough. I’ve known how
to recite the Apostles Creed
along with others in a congregation
for seventy years. That says what I believe, right?
Do I believe that? The descended into Hell
included? No. Catholic church?
Well, yes, catholic means worldwide
. What do I believe, deep down inside?
God made me and God don’t make junk.
God is in charge and I’m better served
if I don’t try to take over.
At my core, I do know what I believe.
I just have to be daring enough
to reveal it to myself.

Success Is a System

Success is not a goal to reach or a finish line to cross. It is a system to improve, an endless process to refine. ~ Clear, James. Atomic Habits (p. 252). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

We would have a status called success
to know when we had reached our goal.
But if "Success" has been reached,
how do you reach some higher plane?
Successier? More success? Greater success?
Success is a system to improve,
an endless process to refine.
My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise and fears dismay;
Though some may dwell where those abound,
My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.

Once Upon a Time...

…not so long ago,
the world seemed overwhelming
so I I tried to tame it,
not like the wild people
who bury awareness
in alcohol or drugs
or even promiscuity,
sometimes even by shopping
or gambling…the wild crowd.
Not me! I was a good girl
and followed the rules,
just eating, so innocuous,
everybody does it!
But not to excess like I did
using the semi-comatose state
normal people get only at Thanksgiving
and such. I was a good girl
yet my drug of food
competed in deadliness
with heroin and meth!
Yet, like those addicts,
The most fortunate ones,
I discovered Twelve Steps
that can banish the shame, the guilt,
and restore me to sanity!

It's a Tool I Use

Overeaters Anonymous
recognizes nine tools:
a plan of eating, sponsorship,
meetings, telephone, writing,
literature, action plan,
anonymity and service.
This Recovery Daily Dose
has continued now
for three thousand
seven hundred eighty-eight days,
of using tools.
The tool of writing, yes,
but perhaps more than that
The tool of service.
I offer this up to the public
trusting the people who might need it
will see it at the time it might be
an act of service to them.

Total Surrender

Once we compulsive eaters truly take the Third Step, we cannot fail to recover. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition (p. 24). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The Third Step says we….
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as we understood Him.
And “Once we…truly take the Third Step,
we cannot fail to recover.”
That means truly taking Step Three
is to totally surrender. I understand
the Army description of surrender
includes five “S” words:
Silence (they cannot plan an escape)
Search (for weapons, maps, orders, etc.)
Secure (tie up or guard)
Safeguard (from dangers) and
Separate (to facilitate control).
What does it mean to surrender
to God as we understand God?
We don’t argue with God or
rely on somebody else,
we hide nothing from God,
nor do we try to.
God protects us.
And, accepting our surrender
is ready, eager, and pleased
to meet our needs
and to use the talents
with which he blessed us
to benefit us and everyone else
in the world!

At the Garage Sale

What have you got I need?
I see this old book – copyright 1939?
Such arcane language,
“the goose hung high”?
Still, I see myself, my problems
in the dated, sexist text.
This old God? No, I don’t think so.
I tried him for years
with no real connection.
I’ll stick with the one I found
when somebody asked me
to describe my own conception
of God. But these old ideas —
rigorous honesty, keeping clean
my side of the street, seeking
God’s will and power to do it —
certainly still a great value.
And this three-legged stool
marked “physical, emotional,
spiritual” – old, but comfortable,
like home. You know,
Daddy always said, “There’s nothing
new and improved.” I’ll take these.
What? You want to change your mind,
to keep them, use them? Can’t say
I blame you. And I know their value well.
I’ve got them all myself.
They’re too precious to discard
just because they’re tried and true.

Beginning the Challenge November 1st

Eleven women teamed together,
keeping a record for ninety days
competing somewhat, but massively
supporting our each other. Everybody knows
some of the others, nobody knows everyone.
Ideally eating as set down in a plan,
we're deliberately taking the dare
when holidays loom, and food we decline
will abound. At challenge's end
we trust we'll approve our own result
and have ten friends we love and support
without a hint of competition. 

We Don’t Do Autographs Here!

The only requirement for membership
a desire to stop eating compulsively.
But we do always maintain personal anonymity.
We do not have celebrities here,
even for a person who is, outside these rooms.
Leave her alone although you’ve loved her work
for years. You cannot tell the world you’ve met her
nor give a clue to others who might attend
next week’s meeting! We don’t do autographs here!

Whispered in the Sound of Silence

Whispered in the Sound of Silence~ Paul Simon

Living through the pandemic
has left many of us surrounded
by the sounds of silence
for large blocks of time.
Of course noise of the world
is imported into the void
where we can talk back but seldom be heard.
Are we satisfied with the experience?
I think not for you. I know not for me!
Too often we think the only purposes in life
that count are the ones that impact
a multitude of people. How wrong we are.*
Are you content to isolate, to occasionally
meet in a Zoom call, but to spend most time
alone with few others?
But life goes on, Pain hurts.
Grief hurts. Sadness hurts.
None of them feel good.
We’re not condemned to isolation, though.
We may not be near others
but need not detach from people in our lives.
Detaching from the chaos around us
by seeking the silence within
creates healing in us
and in others, too.
Let us reach out to those hurting
and do what we can
to make the sound of silence
not equate to loneliness
but to be the reverberations
of love, of caring, of support,
of underpinning, of buttressing.

*Karen Casey

This Time

Thirteen years thirty days ago
I finally committed to lose weight
and made great progress…
for a while…about five months
until I was betrayed as I saw it
and not allowed by others involved
to file a lawsuit to fix it! What could I do
but eat over it, reversing progress
though sometimes I pulled it together…
until I felt guilty for accepting an honor
though feeling undeserving, so ate over that!
Not a quick learner I read a book,
turned around again, committed
to do the impossible. Who can eat no sugar,
no flour, no sweeteners, no snacks?
And doing the impossible I’m thinner, happier,
saner than ever before,
a year and thirty days later,
one day at a time!

TenTon Telephone

I loathe, detest, abhor the telephone.
A summer job in 1968
required me to, during the summer,
call each of the youth in the congregation.
I assume I managed, but I buried that part
of my memory, remembering only the requirement.
Then thirty-nine years later I joined OA
and one of the nine tools...the telephone!
I call my sponsor Monday morning,
a planned time, but I have never called a member
otherwise, except perhaps to ask a fact question,
when or where. I sponsor but calling me
is not a requirement. I text, use apps,
communicate, but my phone will never
wear out from use.
Maybe the phone will go out of style.
I've never sent a telegraph.
Will phones become antiques

Grateful God Keeps no Scorecard

3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you. ~ Psalm 130:3-4 NIV

Making a list and checking it twice…
Is that what we expect?
From the time we understand
the giver of gifts the difference

between God and Santa
we should also set aside
our expectations of
less than a loving, caring parent!
Thank God there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve Him!

A GI's Gift

Olive drab is basic pain, endless hikes in drizzling rain. Blue is Christmas TDY, raucous joy so I won’t cry. Red courage stains on desert sands, youth drained out in cruel lands, white-knuckled fear, all fossilize this PFC with gaping eyes. That’s the gift I give to you, olive drab, red, white, and blue.

Giving Is Better

Give, do not lend; after death who will thank you? ~ E. M. Forster

Paying it forward is an ancient idea but fresh and new. I learned long ago lending money to someone careless…or broke… when it came due left me resenting them… but myself more…and now I ask people to play it forward and make both of us feel better. I know, too, how much more the same amount is worth at some points in life than at others. So I agree with Forster but phrase it differently.

The Kind of Person

If you show up at the gym five days in a row—even if it’s just for two minutes—you are casting votes for your new identity. You’re not worried about getting in shape. You’re focused on becoming the type of person who doesn’t miss workouts. You’re taking the smallest action that confirms the type of person you want to be. ~ Clear, James. Atomic Habits (p. 165). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Casting votes for your new identity? I like that. And I welcome the idea that the smallest action in the right pattern can confirm the kind of person I want to be. There’s a file cabinet in the spare bedroom with years of research on a book I committed twenty-six years ago to write. It’s changed through the years from a children’s book to a three volume tome on the subject. So if I spend two minutes a day picking up a file folder and seeing what’s there it can start the habit that eventually will lead to a manuscript ready to submit to university presses. The kind of person I want to be is the author of a scholarly work. And I’ll get there building a pattern, a habit, of moving in the right direction.

Inner Wisdom

…relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we’re worthy and believing we are worthy are untapped skills for most of us. Fortunately, we are in the right place to acquire these skills. ~ Casey, Karen. A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Do you believe you’re worthy? Do you respect yourself? Are you proud of who you are? of what you’ve done, of what you can do? Are these strange-sounding questions to you? Would you be exercising untapped skills to try to make the answers yes? Give it a try! You’re worthy to have the skills, and even more to recognize and acknowledge them!

Image Copyright : Bram Janssens

Now if Joshua had succeeded in giving them this rest, God would not have spoken about another day of rest still to come. So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall. ~ Hebrews 4:8-11 (NLT) As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Pages 87-88

Now if Joshua had succeeded in giving them this rest, God would not have spoken about another day of rest still to come. So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall. ~ Hebrews 4:8-11 (NLT) As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Pages 87-88 Special rest waits for us, for God’s folk. Special rest in a pause, a reality check on show-running, in trading will-power for the will of God. Danger dissipates, fear dissolves, foot-in-mouth syndrome cured. Special rest rewarded by more energy than ever could be crammed in any minuscule bottle for ransom at cash registers. God, lead me by still waters, restore my soul, fill my cup brimful.

Standing by the Fire

Who has not made mistakes in life. Do you know Psalm 130?…Well, when you want to stay warm you stand by the fire. ~ Jacob in Twist of Faith Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. ~ Psalm 130:7 NIV

Stand by the fire. Don’t look for warmth, for comfort in the icy wilderness. Don’t seek heat in a frozen wasteland. Go to the source, the life, the hot-blooded warm-hearted, the wellspring. When you need love go where it grows, where it warms heart and hand, where you’re loved. Energy awaits your melancholia, and/or your depression, your despair, your hopelessness. Love stands ready to welcome you home.

Giving Up Control

Giving up control means growing up: my experience broadens, my pleasures expand, my usefulness to others increases and my horizon— like God’s world—is limitless. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 2264-2266). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. Kindle Edition.

Giving up control means growing up? It’s a surprising comparison but totally logical! The difference is extreme. Turning over control of our lives and over to God as we understand God. It’s like the Big Book says, Established on such a footing we became less and less interested i n ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.

First Turn Around

Walking to kindergarten then home was easy. Past the Brenneman’s house to the end of the block then I could see the Thompson’s house, the goal. But first grade at Roscoe Wilson Elementary was different, lots further. Mother took me and picked me up for weeks, as we talked about each turn, and the landmarks I’d see. Then came the day! I remembered each turn but the landmarks were wrong. I had enough sense to run back where I’d come. A teacher I didn’t know found me. I knew the address and she drove me home. I never forgot again… First, turn around!! Start from the correct corner of the school.

God, Help Us Out, Please

O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast, and our eternal home… God, we’ve made a mess here and need your rescue. We in flyover country may or may not have have voted folks in whose actions determine the course but Covid-infected trespassers in our land are being dumped on the Salvation Army in our town. And halfway around the world innocent friends and countrymen fear for their lives and those of innocents. Help us, God, we’ve got a mess on our hands. Show us how to love the rest of humanity, how to live lives of peace that you can spread throughout the world!

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Once I realized what living healthily felt like, I was able to recognize how draining the day-to-day motions had been when I was drinking all the time. Though it took some time to resonate with me, I think this is a saying most people in recovery can identify with. ~ Beth L.

Drinking was never my problem. But compulsively eating, preferably in secret certainly was! How I convinced myself that a morbidly obese woman was keeping secret eating secret escapes even me? Of course I didn’t even when I would stop the “secret” purchases as soon as the clerk knew from many past visits what gooey sugar-packed treat I was going to order. I stopped frequenting that store and drove to a competitor’s window, until that clerk followed suit. Finally, though, something changed! I began following a sugar-free flour-free plan, with planned and measured meals and no snacks. Followed for seventeen months the body changed and the legs I lifted in getting out of bed looked nothing like mine!! Important things change in behavior changes! And I’m so glad to be the proof!

What Is Due?

Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. ~ Romans 13:7

Is it yours? Do you have a greater right to it than anyone else? Did you use someone else’s idea and claim it was yours? Did you cut corners? What about the ticket for food and service with a suggested tip? Are you slighting someone if you don’t tip? I remember decades ago using money I had set aside in a college fund for a child when I was short of funds and overdrawn. I made it right but it wasn’t mine to spend. Paul was speaking along the line of Jesus’ words, render unto Caesar….” The word revenue certainly fits. But the meaning includes returning what you borrowed months or years ago. Where is the peace you need in instructions to give to everyone what you owe them?

Cravings

Your brain did not evolve with a desire to smoke cigarettes or to check Instagram or to play video games. At a deep level, you simply want to reduce uncertainty and relieve anxiety, to win social acceptance and approval, or to achieve status. Look at nearly any product that is habit-forming and you’ll see that it does not create a new motivation, but rather latches onto the underlying motives of human nature. ~ Clear, James. Atomic Habits (p. 127). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Do you want to reduce uncertainty and relieve anxiety, to win social acceptance and approval, or to achieve status? What are the underlying motives of human nature? Do we all want to feel secure in the path we’re walking? Do we all want to be a part of rather than apart from? Do we try to hide from life through computer games, trashy novels, stuffing our face? are you anxious, embarrassed, intimidated? Isn’t it true you really want to feel different? What behaviors could you substitute for what you choose to do when what you want, what you crave is to avoid the feelings you loathe?

Rules, Rules, Rules

Is the law, therefore, opposed to the promises of God? Absolutely not! For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law. But Scripture has locked up everything under the control of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe. ~ Galatians 3: 1-22 (NIV) I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation department employing sixty-six hundred men. One day my secretary came in saying that Mr. B—insisted on speaking with me. I told her to say that I was not interested. I had warned him several times that he had but one more chance. Not long afterward he had called me from Hartford on two successive days, so drunk he could hardly speak. I told him he was through—finally and forever. ~ A.A. World Services Inc. Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition . A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition. There must be rules whether they be called laws or company policies, social mores, or merely common sense. Surely by the time we become adults we know the rules… but why then do we break them so often? And when we do, we lose a job or destroy our families or sometimes do what we know is stupid, trying time-after-time when we’ve promised our boss, our parents, our spouse, ourselves to do what the entire world knows is detrimental to us… even fatal if we don’t slam on the breaks! God, that which I so badly want to do, I do not! I’ve tried and tried! I give up. Tell me what to do, give me the ability to do it, and I will!

to my sponsor's god

you didn’t do bad last night i told you thanks for a lousy day and you didn’t get mad i asked you to keep me clean just today and somehow i am i asked you to stop my dumb mouth at the boss he grinned when i left said i’d done good so thanks for a not bad day can you do it again i’d be much obliged

Refuge in the Lord

Fortunately, we have the capacity to choose, over and over again, the voice we prefer hearing. ~ Casey, Karen.

Each Day a Renewed Beginning (p. 9). Mango Media. Kindle Edition. In the Lord I take refuge. ~ Psalm 11:1(a) (NIV)

What voices do you hear when nobody’s talking? We can choose. We can hear our parents correcting us decades ago. We can listen to the news on either end of the spectrum, at least the one we most often choose to physically hear. We can hear the wisdom of songs we can play in our minds. We can hear our close friends or family members directing our actions. We can hear scriptures whether we could find them in the Bible or not. Or we can hear the still small voice of God. Fortunately, we have the capacity to choose, over and over again, the voice we prefer hearing.

A Little Weird

 

Father Josh at St. Rita said in his homily a few weeks ago that all of the Saints were considered a little “weird”. He said we should all strive to be that kind of weird. ~ Lynette Schnitzius

I Googled “saints who were a little weird”
and got more material than I can use.
Saint Gummarus’s attempts to salvage his marriage failed
and he founded an abbey at Lier,
becoming the patron saint of difficult marriages.
Saint Drogo is considered the patron saint of unattractive people.
Because of Saint Rita’s lifetime of disappointments,
difficulty and setbacks, she is now considered
the patron saint of the impossible.
St. Vedast, or Vaast, is the patron saint
of children who are late in learning to walk.
There’s a book entitled
My Badass Book of Saints:
Courageous Women
Who Showed Me How to Live.
Are you willing to strive to be that kind of weird
that leads to canonization and sainthood?
How embarrassing is it to strive to live
a life that after your physical life has ended
leads people many years later to remember your life
as deserving sainthood?

Saint Drogo, the patron
saint of shepherds,
coffee, and the ugly.
CC BY-SA 3.0

Genuine Humility

 

Genuine humility brings an end to the feelings of inadequacy, the self-absorption, and the status seeking. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition (p. 52). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

What is Humility? It is the Spiritual Principle
for Step Seven, “Humbly asked Him to remove
our shortcomings.” Humility
has been described by many people. For instance
Jesse Jackson said, “Never look down on anybody
unless you’re helping them up. urself less. –
C. S. Lewis said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it’s thinking of yourself less.”
Thomas Merton said, “Pride makes us artificial
and humility makes us real.”
Mignon McLaughlin said, “The proud man
can learn humility, but he will be proud of it.”
St. Vincent de Paul said, “Humility is nothing but truth,
and pride is nothing but lying.”
But I think my favorite is St. Vincent de Paul’s
“Humility is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying.”
closely followed by Madeleine L’Engle’s
“One cannot be humble
and aware of oneself at the same time.”

God Cares for Each of Us

 

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, 

is God in his holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families,

he leads out the prisoners with singing; ~ Psalms 68:5-6a (NIV)

A personal God would seem to be a modern concept,
but obviously it’s thousands of years old.
God knows what we need most and readily meets our needs…
a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
provides family members for lonely folks,
and leads lonely prisoners out…with singing!
What is your fondest wish?
Have you sought fulfillment from God?
Ask, and it will be given to you;
seek, and you will find;
knock, and it will be opened to you.
 For everyone who asks receives,
and he who seeks finds,
and to him who knocks it will be opened.
Or what man is there among you who,
if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
 Or if he asks for a fish,
will he give him a serpent?
If you then, being evil,
know how to give good gifts
to your children,
how much more will your Father
who is in heaven give good things
to those who ask Him!*

 

*Matthew 7:7-11 (NKJV)

Living with a Paleolithic Brain

 

Junk food, for example, drives our reward systems into a frenzy. After spending hundreds of thousands of years hunting and foraging for food in the wild, the human brain has evolved to place a high value on salt, sugar, and fat. Such foods are often calorie-dense and they were quite rare when our ancient ancestors were roaming the savannah. When you don’t know where your next meal is coming from, eating as much as possible is an excellent strategy for survival. ~ Clear, James. Atomic Habits (p. 102). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Why do we crave salty, sweet, fat foods?
Why a hundred-fifty pounds
and decades after the decision
never again to see a figure on the scales again
beginning with a three again,
and more than fourteen years after
making a decision to turn my life
and my will over to the care of God
as I understood God…why is it still easy
to trigger those old cravings?
It seems like ancient history,
and evidently it really is…Paleolithic even!
Could it really be how rare a treat
as the beehive could have triggered me
all these eons since?
I need not yield to the genetic urges!
I can choose a sane plan and live it!

Image copyright: emojiimage

Greater Wisdom

Dear brothers and sisters, I want you to understand that the gospel message I preach is not based on mere human reasoning. I received my message from no human source, and no one taught me. Instead, I received it by direct revelation from Jesus Christ. ~ Galatians 1:11 (NLT)

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We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness and usefulness which we should have sought ourselves. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 49)

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Human reasoning.
If I can’t convince myself
right now my own logic
trumps all others,
I look to wisdom
of the elders,
the sages,
the erudite of ages.
Tea leaves, ouija boards,
crystal balls,
divine revelation
feel gullible,
juvenile, naive.
Before tossing bath water,
though,
I should check for babies.

Higher source,
teach me to trust your
higher wisdom.

Foster Joy, Not Gloom

 

Making the choice to be positive rather than negative may not come automatically, but we can practice it. We will feel far better if we do. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a Renewed Beginning (p. 142). Mango Media. Kindle Edition.

Is the glass half empty or half full?
It’s a choice, you know.
I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy,
Down in my heart,
Down in my heart, 
Down in my heart;
I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy,
Down in my heart,
Down in my heart to stay.*
How much more pleasant
to be happy and know it than
to allow concerns to dominate.
What is there that demands gloom today?
Smile anyway. It feels better!

* Public Domain

Credits Without Debits

 

20 Yet he [Abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. 22 This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.” 23 The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, 24 but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. ~ Romans 8:20-24 (NIV)

Credit may refer to the creditworthiness
or credit history of an individual or a company.
In some contexts it refers to a bookkeeping entry
that either decreases assets
or increases liabilities
and equity on a company’s balance sheet.
A debit is an accounting entry
that results in either an increase in assets
or a decrease in liabilities
on a company’s balance sheet.
If we’re credited with righteousness,
then righteousness is an asset
added to our collection, a value we possess.
In the value we have with God,
everything of value is a gift,
and in our accounting are only assets…
gifts from God, with no deductions
for our foolish mistakes, for our reluctance
to accept all the good we’re offered,
understanding we’ve done nothing
to get in that position except to gratefully accept
what we did not, could not have earned.

Image Copyright: netsay

 

Not Being OK

 I’m not OK, you’re not OK — and that’s OK. ~ William Sloane Coffin

Do you feel guilty, not being Okay?
Does it seem you’ve let the world down
when you’re down?
Does it seem sometimes
you let the world down
when a smile feels fake,
when the world doesn’t suit you?
Does God think you’re not okay?
Does God love you anyway?
If you ask someone who loves you
would they vote you’re not okay
even when you feel that way?
Does God accept you when you don’t?
Does God disagree with your assessment?
Is there truth in “I’m not OK, you’re not OK — and that’s OK?”
May I hug you?

Serenity Is Not

 This is not written by Barbara B. Rollins with OAStepper since neither has internet at the moment

Instead, it is found in Serenity Prayers and Prose to

Sooth Your Soul byJean Cotner

SERENITY IS NOT 

Serenity is not 

A quiet mountain lake, 

Nor a nature preserve 

With only the birds for company, 

Nor release from responsibility: 

KFor the soul determined to fret and worry

 Is little swayed by circumstance. 

Serenity can be

Found in a blighted inner city 

Where every night is shattered by gunfire, 

Or in solitary confinement in a dirty cell, 

Or amid the onslaught of a dozen demands, 

For the soul that rests in God’s peace 

Is little swayed by circumstance. — katherine Swarts

I Am to Blame

I listed folks who made me mad years and years ago, people I resented…blamed them for wrecking my life. But as I looked back now piecing together what happened I have realized almost without exception the fault was mine, the resentment a fictionalized account of truth. That real truth be told… in each case I was to blame.

Resentment

 

Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment.~ Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Resentment: a feeling of indignant displeasure
or persistent ill will at something
regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury
But we don’t want or need the definition.
We agree with Elizabeth Gilbert:
As smoking is to the lungs,
so is resentment to the soul;
even one puff is bad for you.
Charles F. Glassman sets out
the elimination diet:
Remove anger, regret,
resentment, guilt, blame, and worry.
Then watch your health, and life, improve.
Anne Tyler said, “She collected
and polished resentments
as if it were some kind of hobby.”
And Kesha captured the picture:
“Life ain’t always fair,
but hell is living in resentment.”
But the heart of the matter is:
Resentment is a symptom
that somewhere, somehow
I have compromised myself.
~ Dushka Zapata