When To Commiserate

“Years ago I used to commiserate with all people who suffered. Now I commiserate only with those who suffer in ignorance, who do not understand the purpose and ultimate utility of pain.” ~ AA World Services Inc. As Bill Sees It (p. 16). A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

"The purpose and ultimate utility of pain?" Suffering is not fun...in the hospital or at home, seeing to simple tasks like opening the door for dogs. But suffering in ignorance, failing to comprehend  the purpose of pain,  to yield to the need for caution  does ignore pain's ultimate purpose and opens the door   for pain once more to command, a needed respite from suffering. \

Now Our Responsibility

Whether the parenting we received was good, bad, or indifferent, the responsibility for our lives is now ours....As adults, we become responsible for ourselves and for our own parenting ~  L., Elisabeth. Inner Harvest: Daily Meditations for Recovery from Eating Disorders (Hazelden Meditations) (p. 123). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition. I would not have copied Mother's parenting for I remember her critique of dishes I had dried that seemed to have sweat afterwards. My washing dishes got failing grades as well. One year she sent me to camp with acceptably matched colors pre-sorted. My-two-years younger sister was trusted to make appropriate combinations on her own.  Seventy years later I'm on my own the responsibility for my life is now mine and while there's still a sting in the old memories I understand how my problem solving drove Mother bananas!

Car 54, Where are You?

I set Google Maps to tell my sons where I am then told my husband I had. Hubby thought I'd lied when I hadn't set my new computer to disclose the secret.  I welcome the watch telling when I fall or my heart  plays loosely with the rules. I'm grateful for people who care but regret the loss of independence I didn't really need.

Hypocrite Extraordinaire

I know her well, have for years, But do I know her at all? I'm proud of my long Christian experience and aware, I thought, of the limitations of hers. Then she spoke of nightly prayers naming and soliciting blessings for many, a practice I emulated while walking and naming my list... But how long has it been since the walking ended as did the prayers? What does that make me? A Christian of convenience as well as a hypocrite extraordinaire! God, teach me to pray and decline to judge others.

What Power do You Trust?

If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own power. Your self-sufficiency, your selfishness and your intellectual pride will inhibit His coming to live in your heart because God cannot fill what is already full. It is as simple as that. ~ Teresa, Mother; Kelly, Matthew. Do Something Beautiful for God: The Essential Teachings of Mother Teresa, 365 Daily Reflections (p. 86). Blue Sparrow. Kindle Edition. Mother Teresa's right. When I'm counting on me and my ideas, plans I've made, I often become discouraged, convinced I'm relying on a failure. My self-sufficiency, my selfishness and my intellectual pride always inhibit His coming to living in my heart. God cannot fill what is already full. It is as simple as that.

These are the words of the Teacher, King Davidʼs son, who ruled in Jerusalem. ~ Ecclesiastes 1:1 (NLT)

Solomon, the Teacher? son of David, Jerusalem’s ruler, or son of son of Solomon son of David of some generation? Odd statement of credentials, starting with teacher, not king, not lineage. Or did the writer lead with the strongest title? Hey, The Teacher here! And I’ll be your Writer for this book. The slanted light in which we see ourselves jerks the world to “Huh?” God named him Jedidiah, God’s beloved. Who named him Solomon or peaceful, complete, prosperous? Did The Teacher feel beloved of God? His words belie peace, completion. Can prosperity survive without love, peace, completion? God, you’ve told me I’m your beloved. Teach me to accept the love. Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.

Help Me To Help Them Love

17 So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. 18 I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. 19 And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. 20 So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. 21 For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. 22 What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? 23 All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. ~ Ecclesiastes 2.17-23 (NIV)

Giving away things seems easier for the old. What I treasured at twenty — would fight to keep — sixty years later can easily go to a youngster who will treasure it. What if I’d passed it by for fear of having to give it up? Both would be robbed – I of the joy of holding and passing the joy, the youth of treasuring it for it was mine. Meaningless? Worry is meaningless. God, help me see those people miserable as The Teacher. Help me to help them love.

Call Someone

If your telephone doesn’t ring, pick it up and call someone. ~ L., Elisabeth. Inner Harvest: Daily Meditations for Recovery from Eating Disorders (Hazelden Meditations) (p. 57). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

I get lonely sitting day after day with two of us plus to dogs. We humans talk but just to establish the situation, to communicate what is or should be happening. The telephone rings often, but seldom for me. I have a new resolution. If your telephone doesn’t ring for me, I will pick it up and call someone.

I Am an Addict

I am an addict whether I want to be or not. I am an addict whether I work program or not, whether I am abstinent or not, and whether I am in recovery or not. I can be an addict in recovery, or I can be an addict in hell. I choose to be an addict in recovery. Once I broke through the denial, I had nothing left but the truth. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Taste of Lifeline. Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I am an Addict. Fifteen years ago, December 17, 2007, I stopped at a convenience store named Skinny's...yes, really! You can't make these facts up! It was a Sunday morning and and my pattern on Sundays on my way to teach Sunday School was to stop there (different places served the purpose weekdays!) I got back in the car with a cappuccino and sweet rolland announced aloud to God, "This Is Stupid" Earlier that month Psychotherapist Peggy Martin had given me the book Overeaters Anonymous, 2d edition. I had read it and knew I belonged there but who starts a "diet" a week before Christmas Eve? Well, I did! And I was right. I belonged in OA then and I belong there now! It's been a wild ride, and sometimes I've clung on while not complying, but I wouldn't trade it for anything! Do you belong too? Welcome to OA! Welcome home!! I can be an addict in recovery, or I can be an addict in hell. I choose to be an addict in recovery. Once I broke through the denial, I had nothing left but the truth.

A Suggestion of Action

A “suggestion of death” means the person is dead. A suggestion of action means action taken. How do you follow the path? By walking the Steps. When? Oh, the timing’s up to you... “a course of vigorous action” “at once” “next” Procrastination’s an option: chronic, low intensity fear. You want to be miserable? Okay. Procrastinate. Live in the fear. You want recovery? Walk the walk, step the Steps, all twelve of them, all the way to recovery.

It's aTool I Use

It’s a Tool I Use Overeaters Anonymous recognizes nine tools: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, action plan, anonymity and service. This Recovery Daily Dose Has continued now for three thousand one hundred seven days, of using tools. The tool of writing, yes, but perhaps more than that The tool of service. I offer this up to the public trusting the people who might need it will, at the time it might be an act of service to them.

DR. BOB ON "EASY DOES IT."

“ ‘You know, Dan,’ he (Dr. Bob) told me, ‘many people coming into A.A. get the wrong conception of “Easy Does It,” and I hope you don’t. It doesn’t mean that you sit on your fanny, stay home from meetings, and let other people work the program for you. It doesn’t mean you have an easy life without drinking. “Easy Does It” means you take it a day at a time.’ “He told me that before I could be honest with him or my sponsor or anyone else, I had to ‘get honest with that joker in the glass.’~ Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers (p. 258). Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Wisdom, personality, integrity, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous understood humility and practiced it! Easy does it didn't mean standing aside after years of hard work... It meant honesty, integrity, and usefulness, continued hard work when others might choose leisure in the glow of past achievements!

God Only Knows

~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 91-92). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I don't hesitate. I do, however forget to include God in to get things done I know I cannot do alone! Even I remember to reach out a hand to grab on to God's, I can forget it's stretched out  to me eager for my firm grasp onto God's!

Merciful

Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. ~ Hebrews 2:17 (KJV) We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 75

Mercy me! Mercy! Me? Merciful to me! How can you know my baseness, my depravity, and accept me? How can one so good, so pure, not shun me but hug me, accept me, love me? Mercy! God of grace, God of mercy, thank you for your faithfulness.

A Three-Legged Stool

Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. For we also have had the good news proclaimed to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because they did not share the faith of those who obeyed. ~Hebrews 4:1-2 (NIV) To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. ~Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 44

A three-leg stool, they say — physical, emotional, spiritual — recovery requires all three. But really, spiritual comes first for the others to last, to manifest. Recovery means the spiritual becomes primary, a recovered person an avatar, God in me, not like a blueberry in a muffin but like the ocean in a wave. God, I offer myself to Thee. Build with me, use me, freed from bondage, a picture of your power, your love, and your way of life.

A Cloud of Witnesses From A Cloud of Witnesses – Two Big Books and Us.

The People In This Room

They're an odd lot, the bunch of folk who’ll meet here tonight. We’d let them have the room free but they insist on paying rent. It’s my job to set up for events, but they persist in doing it, say moving chairs, cleaning up, means service, keeps them on track. And I meant that “odd” part in the odd lot. Who’d ever pick these folk as friends? The cars outside – from rattletraps to posh, and you wouldn’t believe the fellow who rides with the one who drives a Porsche, I swear he’s some bum off the street! You can’t help but like them all, even the obnoxious ones. They’re so open, honest, full of hope. They’ll sit and say the same things they said last week and those before, and get so jazzed up over it. They’re an odd lot. Their coming here, though, somehow makes my week complete.

A Tool for God to Use

These poems are fun, have told me things about myself I’d never found. To share them? Pride says yes. Show them off. Humility says get behind me, pride. To share is good, not for your praise but like B

ill’s chip, perhaps these may touch people’s need and perhaps become a tool for God to use.

Remember...

Remember.... Practice the principles, partake of the promises Providence provides. Twelve Steps, two hundred words a lifetime’s lessons.

Growth Is the Opposite of Control

There is struggle in the growth process; pride, ego and misused will stand in the way and must be overcome gradually, with understanding and compassion. Pain is always the teacher, but with each period of growth it becomes less acute. Growth is the opposite of control. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Location 1956). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Pain is always the teacher, but with each period of growth it becomes less acute. Growing up is not easy, no matter when it happens! We think of growing up as being completed in large part in the first eighteen years. As we move on from then we feel the need to be in control… but not just a need, an expectation! Pain especially in adult years remains the teacher, but it hurts! I believed if I didn’t grow up by my fortieth birthday, I wouldn’t! So I took control, made bold steps but continued to live in fear of being a fake grownup! I clung to control, tried to acquire more but fifteen years later secretly sought counseling to explain what was wrong with me. It was she who taught me pain is always the teacher, but with each period of growth it becomes less acute. And in Recovery I learned finally surrender, admitting powerlessness is the opposite of control! And surrender is how I choose to live!

God Loves, Period

As we have said before, so I say again now, if any man is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed! ~ Galatians 1:9 (NASB) I seemed to be able to snap back the next morning better than most of my fellow drinkers, who were cursed (or perhaps blessed) with a great deal of morning-after nausea. (Alcoholics Anonymous, “The Doctor’s Nightmare”)

God as I understand God loves. Period. So, to be accursed? Invoking supernatural power to inflict harm, punishment? God is god, in control, has no need to call on himself or his underlings to punish, harm. Be afflicted with? That one makes sense. I surely can and do curse myself, cause me misery, agony, separation from God, from all. I need the right message, the one from both Big Books as my guide. And when I stray and feel accursed, it’s a blessing, beckoning. God, let me not curse myself but always seek your love, your blessings.

Our Common Bonds

In OA we have no program of diets and exercise, no scales, no magic pills. What we do have to offer is far greater than any of these things—a Fellowship in which we find and share the healing power of love. Our common bonds are two: the disease of compulsive eating from which we all have suffered, and the solution that we all are finding as we live by the Principles embodied in these Steps. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition (p. 2). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Overeaters Anonymous, the membership, alone have tried myriad remedies for the malady, the obsession! And we've found the answer: a Fellowship in which we find and share the healing power of love! We share the disease, we've shared the suffering, and together we now share the solution we all are finding as we live by the Principles embodied in these Steps.

I Desire to Do Your Will

Then I said, “Here I am, I have come— it is written about me in the scroll.[e] 8 I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.” ~ Psalm 40:7-8 (NIV) I really want to, God! Even if I just want to want to I want to badly, forgive my failure to try to develop the longing, to reach the goal I long for!

Out There Inside Us

I feel an important thing to be aware of is that the Power we are all seeking "out there" is also within us and readily available to us to use in positive ways. ~ Louise Hay. Power Is Within You (Kindle Locations 54-55). Kindle Edition. 1.    We admitted we were powerless over food—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2.    Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3.    Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Where do we find the Power greater than us as described in the first three steps? Outside of us, greater than us, but inside of us as well! Inherent in the whole universe but internalized within us as well! 23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” 24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24 NIV)

Something Beautiful

And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it. (1 Timothy 2:9-10 – The Message)

Skin deep, huh? Heck, no! If it’s just the skin it’s attractive, stunning, handsome, alluring — but not beautiful. Beauty grows, swells, sprouts comes inside-out. Beauty is a radiant hope, an excitement about live, a peace, contentment, commitment way down deep but so grand, so pervasive it can’t be hidden, will not be ignored. Perhaps that word — beauty – won’t come to mind, but the face beaming it will draw the whole world in, embraced and loved.

When the Pain Is Gone

when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim; when the doors to the street are closed and the sound of grinding fades; when men rise up at the sound of birds, when men are afraid of heights and of dangers in the streets; when the almond tree blossoms and the grasshopper drags himself along and desire no longer is stirred. but all their songs grow faint; Then man goes to his eternal home and mourners go about the streets. ~ Ecclesiastes 12:3-5 (NIV)

Hurdler, colonel, engineer, captain of the band. Baritone, tinner, mayor, leader — you could do everything but hula-hoop and fix my Timex. Now muddled of mind, breathless, a stranger in your own head, you plan the ordinary, relearn the routine. The chasm gapes. Daddy, can I be the child again? Thank you God for an eternal home where mourners know the pain is gone.

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them” — before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain; Ecclesiastes 12:1-2 (NIV)

Youth need not be wasted on the young. Nature may lead a child to myopia but grandparents, teachers, occasionally a parent wise beyond years, may plant seeds of prescience, of discernment, of faith. Blessed indeed is the beneficiary of such a bequest. God, let me remember you now, even when my youth has passed. Let me remember you in sunlight and gloom, in fair weather and foul. Let me find pleasure in each day, with you.

God Only Knows

r today: God alone knows how badly I need help in all aspects of my life. I unhesitatingly ask for that help. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 91-92). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I don't hesitate. I do, however forget to include God in to get things done I know I cannot do alone! Even I remember to reach out a hand to grab on to God's, I can forget it's stretched out  to me eager for my firm grasp onto God's!\

Again!

Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? ~ Galatians 3:4 (NASB)

We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, page 24

WhenEVER will I learn? Must I allow the same lesson to be pounded into my head again and again and AGAIN???  know I do it to myself, that I have a taste of recovery then toss it away again and again and again. But at some point I learn recovery feels better than my addiction that I don't want the illusive prize and choose to hold the real one and my experience can bless others doing what they would not do again and again and again. God, let it be sooner rather than later. Let me listen to those who have learned the lesson.

Influencing Contentious People

This is how to influence the nervous, contentious people I know: go to any length to get and keep my own peace of mind. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 3414-3415). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

contentious: causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial; involving heated argument; a person given to arguing or provoking argument; a contentious politician haranguing a crowd; law relating to or involving differences between contending parties. How can you change what you expect to be a difficult encounter? Go to any length to get and keep my own peace of mind.

Kinds of Business

“...there are two kinds of business: my business and none of my business.” ~ Casey , Karen. Let Go Now (p. vii). Mango Media. Kindle Edition.

If it's about me, how can it be none of my business? They may say, "“What other people think of you really isn't any of your business: it's best to not let other people's opinions prevent you from being the authentic version of yourself.” Is this true of you? As far back as I can remember, even as a small child, I have desperately tried to understand what God’s expectations or requirements are regarding my behavior. But what about God's opinion of me? Dare I ask? I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses; And the voice I hear, falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He walks with me, and He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own, And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known. He speaks, and the sound of His voice is so sweet The birds hush their singing, And the melody that He gave to me, Within my heart is ringing. 3. I'd stay in the garden with Him Though the night around me be falling, But He bids me go--through the voice of woe, His voice to me is calling.?* *Author: C. Austin Miles

Step One

I’m powerless life unmanageable Help here? Okay, I’m coming

Going to the Source

Dear brothers and sisters, I want you to understand that the gospel message I preach is not based on mere human reasoning. I received my message from no human source, and no one taught me. Instead, I received it by direct revelation from Jesus Christ. ~ Galatians 1:11 (NLT) We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness and usefulness ≈(Alcoholics Anonymous, page 49)

Human reasoning. If I can't convince myself right now my own logic trumps all others, I look to wisdom of the elders, the sages, the erudite of ages. Tea leaves, ouija boards, crystal balls, divine revelation feel gullible, juvenile, naive. Before tossing bath water, though, I should check for babies.

Higher source, teach me to trust your higher wisdom.

Behave Yourself And Be a Person You Would Like to Know

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. ~ Matthew 5:21-24 NIV, Holy Bible (p. 2637). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. Raca comes from the Aramaic term reqa. The derogatory expression mean meant “empty-headed,” insinuating a person’s stupidity or inferiority. It was an offensive name used to show utter contempt for another person. Jesus warned that the use of such a word to describe someone was tantamount to murder, deserving of the severest punishment of the law. I told a person he was a misogynist once. He said the next time I saw him he had researched my contention and found the search did not confirm my contention. I wish I had not made the accusation At this point I choose to hold my accusations and try to understand the other person.

When We Have Truly Taken Step Three

Once we compulsive overeaters truly take the third step, we cannot fail to recover.- OA 12 and 12 What does it mean yup truly take a step? to truly take THIS Step? “Came too believe a power greater than ourselves Could restore Is too Sanity” When you come to believe…accept, trust, conclude, even suppose? Deem, perhaps… regard or consider in a specified way, that way being that a power superior to me could (might, possibly will or is able to)… It’s not required to be a foregone conclusion just an acknowledgement it’s not beyond thought. And what a prize if you can make it that far!! A guarantee that the promises made will come true. Recovery beyond wildest dreams. A new freedom and a new happiness. No regret the past; comprehend the word serenity and know peace. Extravagant promises? We think not. They are REAL if we really take the Third Step.

At Peace With God

But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace, was pleased to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with flesh and blood, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went away to Arabia, and returned once more to Damascus. (NASB) Galatians 1:15-17 Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 75)

God with me, one-on-one coming back home where I've never been before. God with me, one-on-one. Who would have thought he'd single me out, talk to me, be with me one-on-one. What peace, what love, what serenity, joy, glory. What am I, who am I that God could love me one-on-one? God, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, the depths of my soul, the fulness of me being.

Who DoYou Want to Be?

Now willing to listen and take suggestions, I have found that the process of discovering who I really am begins with knowing who I really don’t want to be. And although the disease of alcoholism inside of me is like gravity, just waiting to pull me down, A.A. and the Twelve Steps are like the power that causes an airplane to become airborne: It only works when the pilot is doing the right things to make it work. ~ Inc, A.A. World Services. Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition (p. 241). A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I've drunk alcohol fewer than a hundred times ever  but I identify completely with the alcoholic telling this story.  I certainly aver I have found that the process of discovering who I really am begins with knowing who I really don’t want to be. And although the disease of compulsively eating inside of me is like gravity, just waiting to pull me down, Overeaters Anonymous and the same Twelve Steps are like the power that causes an airplane to become airborne: It only works when the pilot is doing the right things to make it work. Who do YOU want to be?

Do Your Part in Living Your Life

What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career? What would you like to see happen inside and around you? Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down—as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 2). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

No, I did not renege on New Years Resolutions. I’m recommending an exercise in journaling, in exploring possibilities. What problems do I want solved? I want to do worthwhile activities and not feel obligated to first procrastinate with computer games. I want to make serious progress toward writing two books this year. I want to actively affirm who I am, what I am, and my ability to choose. Then I want to release it but welcome movement in that direction.