Searching

I was miserable as I was still suffering. For years
I had to appear a success, to lose weight
not knowing abstinence and the perfect plan some
believed to be in OA. Hades remained open to me,
and it seemed eminently - profoundly - possible
I would tumble in and roll my morbidly obese body
to the utmost depths. Common sense says that we
all have a place, a right to decency, a way to find
purpose and worthiness, not just a way to  carry
the coats for others, not just to exist. And I began
to seek it, to explore to listen to whoever offered hope.
Finally, I looked again at the groups I reached for,
it appearing somebody thought it worthwhile.
And I found hope and help and a program
I’ve cherished ever since.

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