Humility Beats Humiliation

“...¹¹ For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” ¹² Then he turned to his host. “When you put on a luncheon or a banquet,” he said, “don’t invite your friends, brothers, relatives, and rich neighbors. For they will invite you back, and that will be your only reward. ¹³ Instead, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. ¹⁴ Then at the resurrection of the righteous, God will reward you for inviting those who could not repay you.”~ Luke 14:11-14 New Living Translation (NLT)

We come to Recovery,
many of us longing
to  end embarrassment
which we feel as humiliation.
Then we read Step Seven
"humbly asked Him to remove
our shortcomings"
and expect more humiliation
which we feel will wipe out
what good feelings we've begun to feel.
But instead when we experience the difference
humility feels good, supportive,
as we feel good and pass it on.
And all is well with us and ours,
and that expands exponentially!

Humility

Humility is trying to do God’s will as I see it, to the best of my ability, at all times, in all places. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 1179-1180). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Who would ever think that the meaning
of my humility has nothing to do with how I feel
about me, how you and others feel about me.
Do others agree with the definition?
Gerald May says, "Grace enables humility within us
by empowering our realization that our efforts
are insufficient by themselves." He agrees.
Karen Casey says. "Forgiving ourselves
and others, daily, heightens our appreciation
of all life and enhances our humility." She agrees.
I agree. Do you? Does this understanding
make humility more acceptable for you to have?

Fear Faced

It would be wonderful were I able to tell you that my confidence in God and my application of the Twelve Steps to my daily living have utterly banished fear. But this would not be the truth. The most accurate answer I can give you is this: Fear has never again ruled my life since that day in September 1938, when I found that a Power greater than myself could not only restore me to sanity but could keep me both sober and sane. ~ A.A. World Services Inc. Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition. A.A. World Services, Inc. Kindle Edition.

"I can do all things through Christ [God]
who strengthens me." Since the pioneers
in Twelve-Step Recovery we've found our path,
our understanding of the kind of surrender
necessary to overcome our stumbling blocks
and enable us to function in the hardest
hurdle for each of us. So fear not!
Even if it's fear you fear, your path will smooth
before you as you are restored to sanity
and freed from your personal nemesis.

Learning About Prayer

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.  ~ Hebrews 5:7-10 (NIV)
I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 13

Funny. Didn’t Jesus say public prayers
were their own reward,
private ones mattered?
You reckon he ranted to God in private?
Reverent submission, not public display.
What anybody else thinks of me
is none of my business.
Hum. I guess the prayers at the bottom of the page
don’t matter. They’re real when I type, though —
maybe public displays later.
Made perfect,
he became the source
of eternal salvation.
Made sane,
I can become the source
of salvation from insanity
for those who see him through me.

God, let the words of my mouth –
or keyboard –
and the meditations of my heart
be acceptable.

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In Perspective

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 New Living Translation

People should eat and drink
and enjoy the fruits of their labor...
a dangerous idea for a compulsive eater!
But add the rest, these are gifts from God.
And slip it into context.
If what we eat and drink are the fruit of our labor,
we're adding in the process of planting,
nurturing, harvesting, the burning calories
inherent in making a crop. But think again,
even if we nurture them before thru nourish them
they're further described as gifts from God.
Is the hedonism part of receiving the gift?
The "be happy and enjoy ourselves

as long as we can?" I don't know if you'rea compulsive eater, addicted to food,
but I am and I know to be happy
and/as I "enjoy" food...or scarf it down
is an oxymoron. The emotions are guilt,
greed, and obsession, not pleasure, not joy!
Let's set aside compulsive eating,
something we cannot do, but when we surrender
our lives and our will to God, he can...and does...
manage it all! Thank God!!

Image Copyright : dionisvera  

Need Energy?

Having the energy to pursue our passions will always come if that’s our wish. Most of who we are, what we do, and where we are going relates to our attitude. Being tired, bored, scared, or unhappy are decisions, nothing more. ~ Casey, Karen. Keepers of The Wisdom Daily Meditations: Reflections From Lives Well Lived. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Get energy by wishing for it?
Who we are, what we do,
where we're going, these all
relate to our attitude?
And the negatives we'd rather avoid,
these are our decisions?
Do I choose to be tired?
Maybe, if I pay more attention
to an audio book than to the purpose
of going to bed... but scared?
unhappy? Would I choose those?
If fear is the opposite of love,
and loving those I'm with turns me off,
that I can see as a decision
if I accept love and fear are
the only two options...
I'll try it out today, choosing the good list,
seeing if tired, bored, scared, and unhappy
happen when I don't. You try it, too
and we can have all the energy we need!
I welcome your comments.

Lament

They called her Buddha,
the kids at school, the mean ones.
She had a Buddha figurine, the image
potbellied, rotund. Maybe she pretended
the nomenclature spoke of wisdom,
discipline...but she knew, understood
they meant corpulent. She tried to fit,
to participate, to be part of and not apart.
It was not her whole reality.
In her twenties she remade herself,
became the image she had sought,
won the amazed praise of all.
But as years went by she lost the gift,
moved from an ideal weight
to clothes sizes in specialty stores only.
Three decades later, her family grown,
physicians despaired the possibility
of medical remedies for any need,
the bulk beyond capacity of equipment.
She had done it before, could again...and did!
Hundreds of pounds shed, and pride reclaimed,
like the raven she vowed, "Nevermore!!"
But she had an illness not only physical
but mind and spirit as well.
She had done it twice, resolved to hold on,
not to go to meetings, admit she might let go,
preferring death to losing weight again regained.
And she will be missed, too early gone.

Helpful?

We are learning, slowly, that our lessons, which are contained in the circumstances of our lives, are never meant to hurt us, just educate us. We adjust to this knowledge with the help of others who seem far more peaceful than we. Probably they have already learned that there are no accidents. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Some lessons are hard to learn.
I spent the day in such a  situation.
A wise woman suggested to a friend of mine
that she accept the negative, the undesired result
and use that impediment, then to rebound,
to bounce, to ricochet, to become all that she can be.
In doing this she chooses not to act from fear
but to act from love when it feels she
is alone in this, and doing this,
she spreads the love making the world
a better place!

Practice Peace

Peace is always our gift when we simply stop. Breathe. And then breathe again. Sitting in this tiny moment of peace, content, alive in the knowingness that all is and always has been fine, just as is, pleases me. I am comforted, and yet I chase it away with my fearful thoughts. On the way to many occasions, I chase peace away. ~ Casey, Karen. 52 Ways to Live the Course in Miracles: Cultivate a Simpler, Slower, More Love-Filled Life (Kindle Locations 1146-1148). Red Wheel Weiser. Kindle Edition.

We have the choice. Peace or fear.
Those are the only choices.
Peace and fear. Fear is our ego,
and dons disguises...indignation,
jealousy, resentment, anger,
hatred, self-righteousness,
peevishness...everything not feeling loving.
Peace is feeling love and is the God
who dwells within. We can have Peace or fear.
Peace (Love) is preferable!

image Copyright : sunnyko

What Good Does Worry Do?

All manʼs efforts are for his mouth,
yet his appetite is never satisfied.
What advantage has a wise man
over a fool?
What does a poor man gain
by knowing how to conduct himself before others?
Better what the eye sees
than the roving of the appetite.
This too is meaningless,
a chasing after the wind.
Whatever exists has already been named,
and what man is has been known;
no man can contend
with one who is stronger than he.
The more the words,
the less the meaning,
and how does that profit anyone?
For who knows what is good for a man in life, during the few and meaningless days he passes through like a shadow? Who can tell him what will happen under the sun after he is gone? ~ Ecclesiastes 6:7-12

Why worry? What good will it do?
The one thing man tries to do
leaves him still short of the goal —
food and appetite,
property and desire for more,
learning etiquette,
succeeding by the rules.
Look around.
It’s enough.
Seeking more, more rewards like handfuls of wind.
Cut out the thinking, the reasoning, the
arguments.
Enough of words. Enough.
You’ll never figure it out
as long as you wander the world.
Trust him. He’s God!
Lord of creation, of yesterday,
today, and tomorrow.

Open my heart. Let me turn it over to you.
I don’t need to figure it out.

Rollins, Barbara B..
A Time for Verse - Poetic
Ponderings on Ecclesiastes.
Eagle Wings Press imprint
of Silver Boomer Books.
Kindle Edition.

Choosing Your Path

On the wrong path, we have no power for good because we do not choose to ask for it. But on the right path, we are on the side of good and we have all the power of God’s spirit behind us. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 60). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Listen! It’s the voice of someone shouting,
“Clear the way through the wilderness
for the LORD! Make a straight highway
through the wasteland for our God!" (Isaiah 40:3)
The path is known to us on this Resurrection Day.
We can treat the day as any other day,
or we can select the right path,
the path we can ask God to show us
by asking the question he wants to hear,
the one he created us to ask.
And when we do, we walk forward,
the power of God's Spirit as our guide.
On the right path, we are on the side of good
and we have all the power of God’s spirit
behind us.

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For Bobbye

It will not work, your scheme.

Set all the reasonable weight-loss
schemes, promise yourself  rewards you want.
You'll never hit the target...not even two weekly ones
no matter how you try. Carb blockers
won't work if you take them and still eat carbs.
A pin at an acupressure point
in your ear to twist will not stop you from the sweets.
Never going to a drive-through window
when the clerk knows your order has no effect.
Let me tell you why. You are powerless over food
and your life has become unmanageable...
long, long ago!! Only when you recognize that,
come to believe there's a Power Who can do what you can't,
and let that Power control can you ever
get off the merry-go-round and let the weight go.
don't waist decades, do it now, my young self,
and learn what peace and contentment are!

FLY, BOY

Ordinary ain’t your style boy, it’s like a jacket way too small. ~ Elliott Park

Would that you were hot or cold
but you’re not so I’ll spew you out.
Do – or do not. There is no try.
Lead, follow our get out of the way.
We of the rooms of Recovery
come from isolation, longing to be
of the crowd, normal, a part.
We’ve lived in our mental hierarchy,
above most – jealous, fearful of the rest.
We avoid attention-getting endeavors —
don’t look at me! Let me blend in…
Then that Power we decided to yield to
beckons what we least want to do.
“What anybody thinks of you,
it's none of your business.”
The outcome of your risking
is out of your hands, not your concern.
So go on and fly, boy —
To the sky, boy.
Win or lose, you are free.
But wherever you go, boy
Clouds above or rocks below, boy
You don’t belong here in between.

It’s not plagiarism if everybody knows I’m quoting God through John’s Revelation and Yoda. The last quote is from Elliott Park’s “Fly Boy” from the album Flyboy.

FLY, BOY

Ordinary ain’t your style boy, it’s like a jacket way too small. ~ Elliott Park

Would that you were hot or cold
but you’re not so I’ll spew you out.
Do – or do not. There is no try.
Lead, follow our get out of the way.
We of the rooms of Recovery
come from isolation, longing to be
of the crowd, normal, a part.
We’ve lived in our mental hierarchy,
above most – jealous, fearful of the rest.
We avoid attention-getting endeavors —
don’t look at me! Let me blend in…
Then that Power we decided to yield to
beckons what we least want to do.
“What anybody thinks of you,
it's none of your business.”
The outcome of your risking
is out of your hands, not your concern.
So go on and fly, boy —
To the sky, boy.
Win or lose, you are free.
But wherever you go, boy
Clouds above or rocks below, boy
You don’t belong here in between.

It’s not plagiarism if everybody knows I’m quoting God through John’s Revelation and Yoda. The last quote is from Elliott Park’s “Fly Boy” from the album Flyboy.

What Are You Laughing About?

“Yes, that’s me,” said the sick man, “the very image. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I don’t see what good it’ll do. You fellows are somebody. I was once, but I’m a nobody now. From what you tell me, I know more than ever I can’t stop.” At this both the visitors burst into a laugh. Said the future Fellow Anonymous: “Damn little to laugh about that I can see.” ~ A.A. World Services Inc. Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition . A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

These three men were the first group in A.A.
Recovery people have been laughing ever since.
I've been in Recovery, in Overeaters Anonymous
a baker's dozen years, have read aloud the Traditions
who knows how many times! But today I read,
"3. The only requirement for OA membership
is a desire to stop eating completely."
Lesa thought that over and decided she could not!
We chuckled at it throughout the meeting!
"Damn little to laugh about that I can see."?
Hardly!As the Big Book proclaims,
"We’re not a glum lot… we absolutely
insist on enjoying life!”
Learn to have fun again...
Come find a home in Recovery!

Image Copyright : rawpixel

The Spiral Staircase

Becoming whole is like climbing a spiral staircase: it takes us upward but also in a circle. We’re likely to pass by many of the same challenges on our way up, but they’ll look different each time because we’ve climbed to a new level. ~ Covington, Stephanie S. A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps (pp. 175-176). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.''

The broken elevator in the show
The Big Bang Theory invites the picture
of level after level but so often they climb
together but alone. Think of another
set of stairs with beings moving up and down,
that known as Jacob's ladder.
Jacob awoke thinking, “Surely the Lord
is in this place, and I was not aware of it.”
God is in our Recovery as well
but too often we fail to notice!
Surely the Lord is in this house!
Let's pay attention!

image Copyright : Brian Maudsley

Get Away from Yourself

Gradually get away from yourself and you will know the consolation of unselfish service to others. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 53). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

You are important.
Chances are you know that...
it has been the focal point
of your life. While struggling
with addiction, you could think
of little else. But things have changed.
You're no longer responsible
for running the world.
So, what do you do with
your free time? Here's a clue:
"Having had a spiritual awakening
as the result of these Steps,
we tried to carry this message
to compulsive overeaters
and to practice these principles
in all our affairs." You use your
time, your energy,
not to run the world
but to carry the message
to others still running the world,
still centered in self,
and share the spiritual awakening
by sharing, carrying the message
to the person you once were.

Idolotry

However short-lived or minor our concern for something other than God may be, when we give it more priority than we give our concern for God and God’s will, we commit idolatry. Thus we all commit idolatry countless times every day. ~ May, Gerald G. Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions (p. 30). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

We think of idols as being statues,
representations, icons...something
that LOOKS the part. We seldom
would designate as an idol a pet peeve,
a project that dominates our thoughts,
a dress or purse we simply MUST have...
Is there something more important in your life
than your higher power, your faith,
your Recovery? How often in a day are your thoughts
idolatry? Relax, though, fleeting moments
are not us, our status. We are not perfect,
won't be soon. We can, though, surrender
to our Higher Power's will, and do our best
to consistently or routinely move
toward the state of perfection which
we choose as our goal.

Reminding Myself

Telling my story reminds me that I could go back to where I was if I forget the wonderful things that have been given to me or forget that God is the guide who keeps me on this path. ~ A.A. World Services Inc. "Gratitude in Action" Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition. A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Part of Dave B.'s story
in the Pioneers in A.A. stories... He says,
"I felt sorry for myself a lot in those days."
And of his rock bottom, he said,
"I was terribly lonely, full of self-pity,
and terrified." I am not alcoholic
but my compulsive overeating
in these thoughts registers closely to Dave's
born forty-some years earlier.
Then, after he started
A.A. in Quebec, he said, "One of
the most fundamental things
I have learned is to pass on our message
to other alcoholics. That means
I must think more about others
than about myself."
This is true for me as well.
He sums it up with,
"I never forgot a passage I first read
in the copy of the Big Book that Bobbie sent me:
'Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.
Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows.
Clear away the wreckage of your past.
Give freely of what you find and join us.'
It is very simple—though not always easy.
But it can be done." This, too, is true
for me though the book I was given
was stories of compulsive eaters.
And, like Dave in a different program
as well as another nation, I affirm.
"I want to keep this life of peace,
serenity, and tranquility
that I have found." And with Dave
I avow, "I won’t have to drink,
[or in my case eat compulsively]
if I remember one simple thing:
to keep my hand in the hand of God.
So Dave and God and I join hands
across decades, continents,
and programs, walking
Twelve Steps to Recovery.

Not My Food

Food, food, glorious food
everywhere I look
but I tell myself each time I pass,
"That's nor my food."
Like seeing a scarf I'd like to have,
I do not touch, for it's not mine.
The rule is mine, not the host
but I can't eat that, it's mot the plan.
Truth be told, it's an allergy.
If I sneak a bite I'll break out in fat.
Maybe not as quickly as a rash
but inevitable, I know.
I just know that's not my food
and I'll not eat it because
I have too much respect for me!

Expansion

Recovery is about expansion. The Twelve Step path is an ever-widening spiral. At first we circle tightly around our addiction, then, as we begin our recovery, our lives begin to expand. The object of addiction no longer binds us so tightly. We begin to include more experiences and more people in our lives. This is the process of expanding the self. ~ Covington, Stephanie S. A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps (pp. 198-199). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Start with knowing you need help,
that you can't stand life as you know it.
grasp the idea you're not alone,
that others like you have found relief.
Listen and learn they do it by trusting,
by knowing there's some power
larger, beyond, that cares, that interacts.
Know the other people. how their recovery works.
As your life becomes more meaningful,
more sane, more acceptable,
move through recovery finding
your expanding life, the sanity
to reclaim more, to expand your life.
Discover what the sanity people speak of
really can be the life you lead
as your life continues to expand
in a widening spiral!

image Copyright : Brian Maudsley

No Longer Alone

The amazing secret to the success of this program is just that: weakness. It is weakness, not strength, that binds us to each other and to a higher power and somehow gives us an ability to do what we cannot do alone. ~  Overeaters Anonymous Suggested Meeting Format

Have you felt most of your life
you were all alone, understood
by nobody, unable to rely on help
from any source? Do you feel responsible
for all around you? Do you find your comfort
in a habit you hate...like eating junk food
when nobody you know is likely to know?
That was me. And if the clerk
at the fast food drive-through
reached the point she knew my order,
I went there no more but found my treat
at another location...for a while.
Then I read a book of personal stories
where they sounded eerily like me,
found an online group of kindred souls
then a meeting near me where I was home.
I've been coming back for a dozen years
and I'll continue to come. Why would I?
I've found my people. I'm no longer alone!
The amazing secret to the success
of this program is just that: weakness.
It is weakness, not strength,
that binds us to each other
and to a higher power and
somehow gives us an ability
to do what we cannot do alone.
If you're our people, come find us.
You'll no longer go through life alone!

The Opposite of Love Is Fear

...every unloving action is always a cry for healing and help. Regardless of its intensity, an act that hurts us is a cry for help that has grown out of fear. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

What happened to hate?
To indifference? Or apathy?
Love and hate are intense.
Indifference and apathy are not,
closer to fear, to a cry for help,

to confusion. Can it be true,
the opposite of love is fear.
the opposite of love
is a cry for help?

Outpacing Sorry

When I was a child I was sorry.
I regretted letting people down,
failing to pass...not just meet..
objectives. But I became an adult
and an adult in Recovery at that,
and I put away meaningless regret!

Adimage Copyright : Antonio Guillemd 

Good Morning!

It's a new day.
Start by taking dogs out,
repeating the Third Step Prayer
as the water's freshened,
then circling the yard
several times
saying the Seventh Step Prayer,
the Serenity Prayer,
then the OA Promise,
followed by prayers for abstinence,
for loved ones and family,
the prayer list sometimes shortened
as one friend says, "for everyone!"
Then inside. No need for originality.
the same breakfast virtually every day.
Well thought through, it sets the day,
the meals are for sustenance,
not for entertainment. Dogs eat first,
husband next then my oatmeal,
an egg cooked in, a serving of fruit added,
and it's time for morning readings,
food for the body and for the soul,
a true Good Morning!

Once We Take Step Three

Once we compulsive eaters truly take the Third Step, we cannot fail to recover. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition. Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

A bold statement, this one.
Just "truly take" Step Three
and we're in? Really? After lifetimes
struggling for Recovery?
"Just" make a decision 
to turn our will and our lives 
over to the care of God 
as we understand Him?
All we must do is decide?
We don't even have to manage
the transfer? We don't!
God doesn't demand perfection,
but he needs an authentic decision...
And from that, the legitimate choice
and trusting God, it really happens!

We have the actual magic to cede control
to He Who Can!

Thanks, God!

²¹ Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
and I was all torn up inside.²² I was so foolish and ignorant—
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.²³ Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth. ~ Psalm 73:21-25 New Living Translation (NLT)

God, I want to believe, to trust.
but how can you value me
when so often I fall flat on my face?
But you do, not based on my merit
but on that you give me, undeserved,
you freely give me a marvelous inheritance
and loving you back with the love you give me,
I truly desire you more than anything on earth!

Finding Happiness

The greatest happiness you can have is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness. ~ William Saroyan

And what is happiness?
Jocularity? Merriment?
Gaiety? Glee? Euphoria?
Giggling? Or is it contentment?
Satisfaction? The impression
of a job well done?
Is it pleasing someone else,
creating smiles around us?
Or knowing our appreciation
gave another a seldom felt
sense of self-esteem?
Perhaps just easing a heavy load
normally borne solely
by a fellow pilgrim?

Listen!

What do you hear?
What does it do to / for you?
What else is happening?
Are you trying to eat? 
Does the soundtrack of your life
affect the food? the duration?
how quickly you shovel it in?
If you are eating, are you aware of it?
Is it time to learn to eat mindfully?
How would that feel?

 

Image Copyright : Nicola Zalewski 

Real Leadership

Every high priest is a man chosen to represent other people in their dealings with God. He presents their gifts to God and offers sacrifices for their sins. And he is able to deal gently with ignorant and wayward people because he himself is subject to the same weaknesses. That is why he must offer sacrifices for his own sins as well as theirs. ~ Hebrews 5:1-3 (NLT)
Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 94

Jesus tagged as hypocrite
he who set himself up
to remove a speck  with a log in his own eye.
Wilson understood when he wrote the book —
not when he started: preaching, dragging
drunks to the Oxford Group.
When a real leader leads,
the people say,
“We did it ourselves.”*

God, I don’t want to be

better than,

lower than,

other than.

I want to be your child,

sister to the world.

*Lao-tsu

Rollins, Barbara with OAStepper.
A Cloud of Witnesses -
Two Big Books and Us.
Eagle Wings Press imprint of
Silver Boomer Books. Kindle Edition.

Step One

I'm powerless
life unmanageable
Help here?
Okay, I'm coming

Humility

Humility is attentive patience. ~ Simone Weil

Humility is the essence of Step Seven,
7. Humbly asked Him to remove
our shortcomings. Attentive patience...
Is that not what we need when
we pray, My Creator, I am now willing
that You should have all of me,
good and bad. I pray that You
now remove from me
every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness
to You and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here,
to do Your bidding. Amen.It'd not up to us to decide
which character defect to relinquish.
It's not about us.We can't
choose what to relinquish.
We trust God to pick,
waiting with attentive patience
to watch the next miracle
enhance our lives.

image Copyright : Georgii Dolgykh

Rise Above the Struggle

Rising above the struggle is as simple as quietly asking for a “second opinion,” so to speak, of the situation that’s got us agitated. There always is another way of looking at a situation. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Where do you look
when you need Higher Power guidance?
Toward the sky? At the bed spread,
kneeling beside your bed?
Inside of yourself, to an indwelling Spirit?
Wherever you seek your Higher Power,
he/she is near. And simpler to consult
than your text messages.
Relax. You're no longer in charge,
you don'r run the world.
You surrendered, and "Your will,
not mine be done" is a freeing thought.
Relax. Rise above the struggle!

image Copyright : Wavebreak Media Ltd

Recovery Is in the Principles

Tradition Five reminds us that our recovery doesn’t come from simply discussing our problems with each other. It is in the OA message—in our Steps and Traditions—that we find solutions to our problems. Living by these Principles has saved our lives.Honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, self-discipline, love, perseverance, spiritual awareness, service... ~ Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition. Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. Kindle Edition.

We recover not as a club,
an interest group, a gathering
of like-minded travelers,
not even as folk with a problem
in common. No, we come
for we share the answer,
the solution to the great challenge
in each of our lives.
And we share twenty-four
principles, the embodiment
of the way out. Twelve Steps
describe the way out, each
embedded in a principle.
Steps One, Two, and Three,
"I can't, God can, I'll let Him"
represent honesty, faith and hope.
Inventory and sharing truths
reside in courage and integrity.
Willingness and humility
lead us through becoming willing
to release character defects
and asking they be taken.
Self-discipline and love
bring us through amends
then perseverance, spiritual awareness
and service set patterns for life after addiction.

Addiction

...addiction is the most powerful psychic enemy of humanity’s desire for God....Addiction also makes idolaters of us all, because it forces us to worship these objects of attachment, thereby preventing us from truly, freely loving God and one another. ~ May, Gerald G. Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions (p. 3-4). Harper Collins. Kindle Edition.

Addiction. The most powerful
psychic enemy of humanity's
desire for God?
The American Society of Addiction Medicine
defines: "Addiction is a primary,
chronic disease of brain reward,
motivation, memory and related circuitry.
Dysfunction in these circuits
leads to characteristic biological,
psychological, social and spiritual manifestations."
Certainly spiritual manifestations
as dysfunctional circuitry would echo
the idea. Addiction: compulsive need for
and use of a habit-forming substance.
Do we worship our addictive substances
and/or behaviors? Is it not the power
to which we have abandoned our lives
when we are using? It is our idol,
the object of our adoration!
When we are using can we love God,
ourselves, or our compatriots?

image Copyright : Gennady Kireev

Scales of the Dragon

For my dragon the scales were weight,
making me unattractive, unlovable,
not someone to be sought out
so people would not know I couldn't
remember their names, certainly not
those of their family members.
Added were the crumbs, wrappers,
detritus of life making my car a pigsty.
People spoke often of my giggle
which in my mind meant they saw me
as habitually maniacally laughing.
Surely I was a social pariah 
people sought to avoid at all costs.
I certainly didn't seek out conversations...
I would have said it was to not intrude.
My dragon scales worked well
until I promised a counselor 
I would try Overeaters Anonymous
and getting involved in a worldwide group
of mostly O.A. members I was astounded
people did want to know me,
even those I could see face-to-face.
Twelve years have passed since then
and the dragon scales sloughed off long ago.
The dragon, too, took an exit,
and I can understand I'm an introvert
and when I don't participate in a conversation
it's quite short but not because they 
would choose better friends.

The Real Goal

Not working toward a goal, that is my real goal. ~ M.G.

A goal: the object of a person's ambition
or effort; an aim or desired result.
A goal: what I choose and try to reach
by my own design, capabilities,
adeptness, efforts.
A goal: self reliant desired result.
A goal: Failure to surrender,
to actually pray, not merely
mouth the words, "Not my will
but Thine be done"
Not working toward a goal,
that is my real goal!

image copyright : Maxim Popov

I'm Sorry I Say, "I'm Sorry"

I'm sorry I say, "I'm sorry."
I fully comprehend
what is said, heard, and felt
all around. What was heard
may well be what Daddy meant
when he told Child Me,
"Don't be sorry, don't do it."
Others may hear a platitude,
words that feel flat, meaningless.
It may be heard as sincere
yet trite, reflexive, inadequate.
Perhaps the words feel real
yet unnecessary, quilt-based.
Perhaps the words most dramatically
affect me. I hear what I say, mean it,
but internalize the words
as descriptive not merely apologetic.
Instead I communicate to me,
"I'm despicable, contemptible,
loathsome, and worthless.
I'm sorry I say, "I'm sorry."
I am willing to have God remove
The empty phrase from my repertoire.

Making Room

We make room in our hearts for more each time we give away what we really want. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. ~ A.A. World Services Inc. Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition. A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

What you give, you receive,
and it's what you give that you receive.
Giving love you get it.
Giving respect, you get respect.
And praying for someone to receive
that which you want in your own life
gives it right back to you.
Peace, sanity, health, abundance,
make room for it in your life
then give it away to receive it.

It's Private,You Know

I'm a private person,
have always been.
There's no way I'd tell
my deepest, darkest secrets.
But I told my sponsor
and she said it was my story
but when I was asked to be the speaker
at a meeting I ought to share it.
I was terrified but I did what she said.
That was a month ago, and I'm known
around here. You know, it's amazing.
Nobody not there has mentioned it.
Somehow it's true, that whole big group
knows how to keep a secret!

image copyright : Dean Drobot

SALT

"Smiled A Little Then Stopped"You don't need to be tacky,
to put someone down
just to make yourself seem witty.
In the past I might have laughed
or if I liked the object of your ridicule
more thanI cared for you,
I might have given you a taste
of the trash you were spewing.
But I'm happy to say I'm not that me now,
so I will love you, spread good vibes,
and, loving you, have more love
to keep and to give, so I'll watch you become
the salt of the earth.

It's My Choice

In Al-Anon I discovered that I don’t have to react just because I have been provoked, and I don’t have to take harsh words to heart. I can remember that they are coming from someone who may be in pain, and try to show a little compassion. I certainly don’t have to allow them to provoke me into doing anything I don’t want to do. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II. Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition. 

No one desires pain. But he can think that pain is pleasure. No one would avoid his happiness. But he can think that joy is painful, threatening and dangerous. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles. Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition.

We invite love when we freely and honestly give it.
I won’t look for love today. I will just give it.
It will bless me tenfold. And what I give
will come back to me. I can change the world
if I love completely and allow God to manage
through me, if I surrender completely.

Creating Conscious Contact

We improve our “conscious contact” with our Higher Power or guiding spirit in stillness, by temporarily setting aside our desire to figure everything out. ~ Covington, Stephanie S. A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps (p. 171). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Step 11 reads, "Sought through prayer
and meditation to improve
our conscious contact with God
as we understood Him,
praying only for knowledge
of His will for us
and the power to carry that out."
Improve our constant contact?
How do we start it?
The first thought is Psalm 46:10
but there's more threat than comfort
in "Be still and know" in context.
How do we learn?
It's called meditation and prayer.
But, having a degree
in Christian Education,
I didn't know when I got to Recovery.
God, teach me to meditate?
Paul told the church at Philippi,
whatever is true,
whatever is honorable,
whatever is just,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is commendable,
if there is any excellence,
if there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things.
Jesus, very early in the morning
while it was still dark,
went to a desolate place, and prayed.
The Psalms speak for God,
"I will instruct you and teach you
in the way you should go;
I will counsel you
with my eye upon you.
As God's sheep He instructs us
and teaches us
in the way we should go;
He counsels us
with His eye on us.
But the how question remains.
The answer is to be quiet, be aware,
and become.

Copyright : Ivan Kruk

Cherish the Awful

Cling to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have—the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. ~ World Service, Alcoholics Anonymous. The Big Book and A Study Guide of the 12 Steps. Anonymous Publishing. Kindle Edition.

We hated ourselves when we wallowed
in food fog day after day, when
people were in our way, meddling,
telling us what we knew but swallowed
along with the binges, could hate
the clerk who knew us, knew what
we would order, how many days
we'd done it again. We despised them
because we loathed ourselves,
how unmanageable our lives,
how powerless over food.
But we're not that person now.
and admitting the nightmare we lived,
exposing the darkness of the abyss,
can actually help others like us
to understand at last the life
that awaits when we surrender
and the horror becomes
a gift we can give of daily joy
amid the serenity of surrender.

Have a Frog!

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” ~ Mark Twain

I'll never take Twain's advice
but internalizing a frog
very early in the day
does make excellent sense
as long as the frog is an acronym
and internalizing it is to acquire
Full Reliance On God.
Nothing worse, but only better
for yours this day if you
have this FROG within!

Copyright : Grzegorz Gust

To Live Lovingly

You have your specific work just as I have had mine. But in both of our lives we do share the same mission: to live lovingly. We are one and the same in that pursuit, and that's a pleasing thought. ~ Casey , Karen. 52 Ways to Live the Course in Miracles: Cultivate a Simpler, Slower, More Love-Filled Life (Kindle Locations 1320-1321). Red Wheel Weiser. Kindle Edition.

Our specific task, to live lovingly.
A task is a piece of work
to be done or undertaken.
The work implies work imposed
by a person in authority
or an employer or by circumstance.
It resembles a ToDo list,
and you probably have a task list
on your computer or cell phone
if not in an old-fashioned notebook
or sticky notes.
However you remember,
remember to live lovingly today!