Goodbye, Facade

I had to begin to put away the “lookin’ good” facade in order to share my feelings at meetings. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Location 4276). Al-Anon Family Groups.

Why do we share at meetings?
Perhaps what we say needs to be heard
by a newcomer, by someone struggling
or just as a new or reinforcing idea
for a longtime member!
Or maybe  it's the answer I need to hear.
Perhaps it's a level of honesty I can reach
only because of the heartfelt sharing of others,
a need to be honest, to change, to recognize the
masquerade I've incorporated into my life.
God, thank you for the format of meetings
you've given us for making miracles!

Risk It!!

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. ~ E. E. Cummings

We come to Recovery hopeless...
lacking hope.
We come to Recovery powerless...
without power to address our obvious need.
Our lives arriving in Recovery feel meaningless...
what's the use, anyway?
We come to Recovery emotionless...
unable to deal with the pain
we've thoroughly anesthetized ourselves
to not have to face.
We arrive in the rooms purposeless...
just wanting to hide and disappear.
But we change!!
Suddenly we can risk curiosity, wonder,
spontaneous delight,
or any experience
that reveals the human spirit.
But we're recovering in  Recovery...
Let us not settle for less...any of them!!

Missing My Vices

I don’t have any vices right now. It’s a very uncomfortable place to be. ~ Julie T

Is it possible to miss our vices?
After a while God has taken us up
and removed our defects of character
if they're such they get in the way
of our usefulness to our Creator
or to my fellows...buddies...
acquaintances...people who see me,
know me, are looking to me as an exemplar
of Recovery. And which difficulties
would never be such an impediment?
Would it be Resentment, Anger,
Fear, Cowardice, Self pity,
Self justification, Self importance,
Egotism, Self condemnation, Guilt,
Lying, Evasiveness, Dishonesty?
What about Impatience, Hating,
False pride, Phoniness, Denial,
Jealousy, Envy, Laziness,
Procrastination (my favorite!),
Insincerity, Negative Thinking,
Immoral thinking, Perfectionism,
Intolerance,Criticizing, Loose Talk,
Gossip, Greed? Can I have any vices
that would never stand in the way
of my usefulness to God and my fellows?
I think not! When I don’t have any vices,
it’s a very uncomfortable place to be!

Worthy

Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. ~Hebrews 3:3-4 (NIV)
 God, I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 63

He’s building.
I’m not even the building, just a tool,
maybe the materials – and but a piece.
What do I make him
when I set the plan,
dictate who he’s to help
and how?
How dare I tell him
what I need,
order his prompt obeisance?
Worthy is the Lamb.
Worthy of respect,
worthy of honor,
worthy of submission.

God, “I offer myself to Thee —
to build with me
and to do with me
as Thou wilt.”*
I believe!

*Alcoholics Anonymous, page 63

Rollins, Barbara. A Cloud of Witnesses -
Two Big Books and Us
(Kindle Locations 473-490).
Eagle Wings Press imprint
of Silver Boomer Books.

Commitment

So commit every part of your life, all that you have and all that you are, to the will and purposes of God. And your life will become that of a fisherman become an apostle, a shepherd become a deliverer . . . all that it was created and called and formed to become, all it was waiting to become . . . from the beginning. ~ Cahn, Jonathan. The Book of Mysteries (p. 278). Charisma House. Kindle Edition.

Commitment is the assertive partner
of Surrender, a useful alternative
for those who focus on capitulation,
abdication, failure when encouraged to surrender.
Are the terms equivalent?
It depends on the object of commitment.
Commitment to the will and purpose of God
is the same as being a soldier under
the leadership of God, the Commander,
the Commandant, the Ruler.
Recognize the Superior, take His orders,
do everything you can to
allow His plan to prevail.

Copyright: Chattrawutt Hanjukkam 

The Challenge of Being Praised

Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,
    but a person is tested by being praised. ~ Proverbs 27:21 New Living Translation 

In Biblical times precious metals melted
in a crucible as impurities
were skimmed, the gold 24-carat pure.
Heat and stress on the metal
improved quality.
Is praise, heaped on a person
and dealt with without swelled ego
and arrogance, testing
your mettle to show you have
the heart to follow through
when the going gets tough?

Apprehend the Field

Apprehend the field. ~ Cahn, Jonathan. The Book of Mysteries (p. 276). Charisma House. Kindle Edition.

It's not just a law enforcement term!
The second meaning is to understand
or perceive. Synonyms include
appreciate, recognize, discern, perceive,
make out, take in, realize, grasp, understand,
comprehend. So how is a field apprehended?
The field in question is in Jesus' parable,
a priceless treasure in a field.
Knowing the location a man liquidated
his assets and with every cent to his name
acquired the field. He apprehended the field,
grasped the meaning, understood.
Since the treasure is our greatest desire,
utopia, the Kingdom of Heaven,
We, too, must apprehend the field
whether what we want most is release from addiction,
peace on earth, serenity, or eternal life,
put it all on the line and apprehend the field!

Now, Here

But looked at differently, “nowhere” becomes “now here.”...Sometimes, when we’re convinced we are the problem, we discover we were the solution all along. ~ Anonymous. Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families (Hazelden Meditation Series) (Kindle Locations 3258-3260). Hazelden Publishing.

Nowhere is a term of no answers,
of giving up, of can't, of won't,
of despair. But change your thinking.
Believe there's a Power in charge,
that your life no longer is unmanageable.
Believe you can. Believe all things are possible.
Believe you deserve the good. Can you see
with different eyes, with confidence
that nowhere does it say nowhere.
Can you now see now here?
Can you believe in possibilities?

Grace and Peace Be with You!

Note: Never before have we used a poem not written by OAStepper or Barbara Rollins. This Thanksgiving poem is quoted from Psalm 115:14-18 New Living Translation (NLT)

May the Lord richly bless
    both you and your children.
May you be blessed by the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.
The heavens belong to the Lord,
    but he has given the earth to all humanity.
The dead cannot sing praises to the Lord,
    for they have gone into the silence of the grave.
But we can praise the Lord
    both now and forever!

Praise the Lord!

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The Test

Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,
    but a person is tested by being praised. ~ Proverbs 27:21 NLT

Why would being praised test a person?
It's a common problem with Recovery people...
or was, before the "recovering."
We believed in a society ranked by elevation.
Is my pedestal higher than yours?
Who's step on the ladder ranks better?
In that kind of world, where elevation
needs to outclass others makes praise received
a pearl of exceptional value.
We Recovery people are living auspicious lives,
blessed not to be tested by praise
but to recognize our equality in value.

Strength or Weakness

Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong. ~ Leo Buscaglia

Most of us in Recovery were weak people,
unable to manage our lives, without a hint
of power to conquer our cravings,
our addictions whether to comfort foods,
to alcohol, to drugs, to gambling, to sex,
to exercise...we were weak, powerless
cruel to all who got between us and oblivion.
But we found our answer
as we surrendered our weakness,
found a Power Who Could and in that Power
found strength in reserve, superfluous
to the Power and, claiming that trait
as our own, we found sufficient love,
ample release from the trauma of despair
to become gentle, to live Love and Power.

Copyright : Inara Prusakova 

Meeting Makers Make It

Meetings are places to recognize and celebrate those who have conquered addiction for one day, one year, or decades. Seeing others who have overcome their addiction can inspire you and provide proof that sobriety is possible. ~ Dean, Amy E. Morning Light: A Book of Meditations to Begin Your Day (Kindle Locations 4166-4168). Hazelden Publishing.

Thursday is Thanksgiving.
Family, food, relatives seldom seen,
perhaps bringing with them
resentment, jealousy, ancient issues.
Thursday is Thanksgiving.
Have you planned for abstinence?
Are you ready for the emotions
waiting to surge? What have you done
to prepare for an abstinent day?
Can you bring a dish you enjoy
and can eat thoughtfully?
Have you talked to your sponsor?
Can you step away and call a program friend
if the need arises? Don't get busy
and go deprived of meetings.
Is there one on Thursday that will meet?
There are Marathon telephone meetings,
online meetings, and face-to-face meetings
earlier in the week or on Thursday.
With good reason "they"say,
"Meeting makers make it.
Will you make a meeting this week?

Enough?

Nothing is enough to the man for whom enough is too little. ~ Epicurus.

Epicurus also said, similarly,
"If thou wilt make a man happy,
add not unto his riches
but take away from his desires."
The issue is to live today.
Jesus said, "Therefore do not worry
about tomorrow, for tomorrow
will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."
The past is behind us.
The future is beyond our reach,
none of our business.
Today is your own special present!

Do Unto Others

When we treat others with disdain, we invite the same. When we express only criticism of others, our self-assessment is equally negative. The beauty of a loving posture is that it calls forth love in response. The more love we give away, the more we receive. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women (Kindle Locations 3373-3375). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Love is met with love.
When we react to cross words
with anger, jealousy, fear, hatred
that feeling becomes who we are
as we meet evil with evil.
Yet, we have an option.
We can love the person
whether their actions merit it or not.
We can let the negative ricochet
or, better, be absorbed in our love.
And if we hold on to love
we're living not only the Great Commandment
but enabling the whole world
to become what it was made to be.

After All...

Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. ~ Thomas à Kempis

Whether I'm rescuing or
reforming someone,
it's none of my business.
There's only one way to affect someone else,
and that's to love them, to love
unconditionally, too love everyone
I encounter and even those I know of
but have not, will not meet.
All I can change is me, choosing love.
But in choosing love, in changing me,
I can accomplish what I never could do
and change the whole world.

Ask for It

“Ask what you will and it shall be done unto you.” God has unlimited power. There is no limit to what His power can do in human hearts. But we must will to have God’s power and we must ask God for it. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 158). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

John 15. A lot like Matthew 7.
But I'm thinking "knock
and the door will be opened"
may really mean, when we knock
the door's already open,
the knocking just shows us that.
God puts no barriers between us.
It's our unwillingness that seals the door,
our conviction we're not worth
anybody's attention, certainly not God's!
But we're wrong. We're worthy...
of people around us, even of God's notice.
And He actually PREFERS we seek Him out!

Don't Look at Me!

Fear that people would know the real me kept me from divulging the real me. Why risk rejection? The irony is that, in wanting to avoid rejection, I isolated myself, which put me in the same solitary, lonely position that rejection from other people would cause. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Voices of Recovery (Kindle Locations 3543-3545). Overeaters Anonymous.

I recently heard two people I admire
identify as introverts. I have no idea
why it had never occurred to me
that's me!! I prefer to blend into background,
Funny, when the phase was bipolar analysis
I understood I was the leader type
with a strong bent to librarian-ish
or a performer talking to crowds
but not individuals or chatting.
I long believed people believed
I was their friend but that I had no friends.
I know how to be lonely
but the beauty of Recovery is I need not be.
I may still fear for you to look at me, to know me,
but I don't have to be alone. I do have friends,
and I like for them to know me!

Abstinence Is Supremely Important

The world is coming to an end.

At least my world is. My town is destroyed,
I cannot find my family. The dog is dead.
My house is ashes. My insanity was coming back.
I learned there was a meeting walking distance
from the shelter I share with a thousand strangers.
I went and they announced the topic:
"Abstinence is the most important thing
in my life no matter what."
Had I known any of these people
I probably would have laughed out loud.
Then the sharing started and another visitor
displaced to the same shelter talked about
this being her second time to start over.
She had found it true, the importance of abstinence.
She talked about getting back in the food,
struggling to hold on to sanity, to recovery,
talked about eating as close to plan as possible,
how controlling that alone gave her strength
to  cling to Recovery. I heard. I listened.
I learned Abstinence is the most important thing
in my life no matter what!

Real Love

Even when we think we love someone, the ego has imagined a scenario that “pictures” a certain response from them. Real love expects nothing.... The miracle is that when we do feel love, total love for one, it touches everyone else.  ~ Karen Casey, Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course

It's not give-and-take!
We need nothing back.
We give and give and give and give
expecting nothing from the person loved
though amazingly in the outward flow
of the love we give we get bountiful
limitless love from that very outward flow!
We cannot limit the love we give
to a chosen recipient. That love
floods out to the whole world,
to every individual, to each life form,
to the inanimate as well.
In the same way that God so loved the world
He gave the best, He supplies the willing
to so love with the intensity He gave.

Whatever Games

Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves, but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth. ~  Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's not that I cannot lie to myself.
I spent most of my life denying truths
that I now know were obvious.
But if I had owned the truths,
the weight of them would have crushed me
and I couldn't have survived them.
When someone now swears to the truth
of such a "fact" I can follow Emerson's advice...
or Shakespeare's "To thine own self
be true."

Give and Take

The other side of giving is taking....Giving needs taking to complete it. ~ Anonymous. Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families (Hazelden Meditation Series) (Kindle Locations 3138-3141). Hazelden Publishing.

When I adopt responsibility
for rescuing the world or one or two
or three thousand people in it
I create a top-heavy burden
that craters to the bottom,
inert, lethargic, useless.
I am not able to rescue the world
of anyone or ones.
But if I am rescued as I rescue,
if I receive as I give,
equilibrium is restored
and by rescuing I allow others
to rescue me so instead on a
worthless leaden hulk
I allow the creation of
equilibrium and reciprocal
functionality.

Constant Contact

My conscious contact with God depends entirely on me and on my desire for it. God’s power is available for me to use at all times; whether I decide to use it or not is my choice. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 3100-3101). Hazelden Publishing.

Step Twelve avows we seek
through prayer and meditation
to improve our conscious contact
with God as we understood Him,
praying only for knowledge of
His will for us and the power
to carry that out. It's my choice
day after day. God stands ready,
always present, always willing,
but I have to move toward Him,
to offer my willingness.
and when I do then miracles are mine
for the claiming. I do choose to claim it.
God I do choose, and I await the wonders.

How Defective?

For me, the exact nature of my wrongs is the unspoken, self-defeating assumptions that give rise to my thoughts and actions. These include notions that my best is not good enough, that I am not worthy of love, and that I have been hurt too deeply to ever really heal. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 3988-3990). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.
I place the future in the Hands of God. The past is gone; the future is not yet. Now am I freed from both. For what God gives can only be for good. And I accept but what He gives as what belongs to me. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (Kindle Locations 19482-19484). Foundation for Inner Peace.

Could I be too defective to really ever heal?
I could feel that was truth as well as accepting
my assumptions my best doesn't feel good enough
and I don't deserve love, but I don't.
Those are some of my once-clung-to
defects of character, not the truth.
I really am entirely ready
for God to remove them when they interfere
with my usefulness to God and my fellows.
I claim the truths of the Course in Miraclesthat "The past is gone; the future is not yet.
Now am I freed from both."
I accept the truth God gives only good
and that is what He gives to me...everything I have!

Lost but Found

That afternoon he put on his clothes and walked from the hospital a free man. He entered a political campaign, making speeches, frequenting men’s gathering places of all sorts, often staying up all night. He lost the race by only a narrow margin. But he had found God—and in finding God had found himself. ~ World Service, Alcoholics Anonymous. The Big Book and A Study Guide of the 12 Steps (Kindle Locations 2486-2489). Anonymous Publishing.

 

The third member of Alcoholics Anonymous
was a lawyer, once promising, but he
along with everyone else considered him
hopeless. He assaulted nurses
and got drunk leaving the hospital.
But with two who knew him because they were him,
he reentered life and lost an election
but found hope, God, sobriety,
and found himself.

Bill Dotson A.A. number 3

Choices

Acceptance gives me choices. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Location 3965). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

Acceptance gives me choices.
I can accept responsibility
for a situation and address it.
I can hear an opinion, agree or not
but omit anger, feeling put upon,
the need to give discomfort on receiving it.
I can accept suggestions, agree or not.
change me if appropriate,
leave changing the speaker to the speaker.
Acceptance means peace, tranquility,
calmness. If I choose acceptance
I'm choosing serenity
and surrender, acknowledging
God has this one!

It's Called Love

It's called love,
letting yourself be loved
whether you feel deserving
or not,
because you absolutely are
deserving...
and accepting the love
may move you
toward understanding that.

Who I Want to Be

“Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with.” ~ Peter Marshall, Sandpaper People

Lord, I want to be a Christian in my heart.
I knew a woman who sang the hymn
"Are You Able" with her own words.
Instead of "Lord, we are able.
Our spirits are Thine," she sang
with a powerful voice,
"Lord, make us able.
Our spirits are Thine."
She caught the essence
of the Disciples' following.
And I agree with her, my prayer
"Lord, make me able.
My spirit is Yours."
And Peter Marshall was right as well.
"And when I am right,
make me easy to live with!”

My Business

Nobody else's opinion counts. ~ Debbie Moot

We have a saying in Recovery,
"It's none of my business."
You can find a list of a hundred
such things.
It's none of my business who likes me.
It's none of my business who doesn't like me.
It's none of my business who agrees with me.
It's none of my business who doesn't agree with me.
It's none of my business what other people think of me.
But is the converse true?
That nobody else's opinion counts?
That who I am, how I act, what I think
is private to me? There's that caveat
at least in Step Nine
that we control what we do and say
when we would injure others.
But what I think about me
is nobody else's business.
How I react when you do something to me
is nobody else's business...not even yours.
I don't have to react like I have before,
like you expect me to, like you want me to.
I can close my ears and choose not to hear
so you can't push my buttons.
And that's my business,
but it's also the business of my Higher Power
and when we're okay with it,
then we're okay!

As One

The more you fathom what it means that God belongs to you, the more you will give yourself to Him. The more you receive His love for you, the more you will give your love to Him. ~ Cahn, Jonathan. The Book of Mysteries (p. 254). Charisma House. Kindle Edition.

It's a perfect circle,
perfect because the Creator
created it. Humans
often misunderstand,
try to make it harder,
but God gave Love to us,
and as we love Love and love God,
the more we love those Love made
and the body, the mass, the truth
that the Creator created
and that Love loved
then live envelops all
who will accept the Creator's Love
and we live and thrive
with the Creator and the Love
that unites us as one.

Sharing Spiritual Gifts

As we receive these gifts of the spirit, we are able to share them with others. Giving them away to our families and friends ensures that we will receive them more abundantly ourselves. ~ L., Elisabeth. Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters (Kindle Locations 2773-2774). Hazelden Publishing.

There are more gifts of the Spirit
than Paul named, differing numbers
in different places. It seems like, reading,
each person has a single gift...or none.
But God's not miserly in handing out gifts.
We can certainly have more than the first!
Who do you know who has love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, long-suffering,
mildness, faith, modesty, AND self-control?
Do you? Share the gifts you have with all around,
and as you share them, your own stash grows
and soon all around you are the person you want to be
and the crowd becomes your gift to the world.
and dissent and distance disappears
as the world is made better through these gifts.