After Relapse

How can I go back?

I had been so cocky,

so arrogant, so sure

I had this figured out.

I'd sponsored...even

relapsers!...so sure,

so authoritatively.

Now I'm fifty pounds up,

hopeless, helpless,

embarrassed, chagrined.

I know what the answer is.

I know where the answer is.

I know who will be there

and how they'll welcome me.

Nobody – except me–

hates me for this.

I thought the first time hard

but it was nothing like this.

All I have to do now

is walk through that door.

"Welcome back! Welcome home!"