Continue to Watch

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous (Kindle Locations 1514-1516)

What a day, glad this one's over.
Okay, God. Selfishness. Have I
been selfish today?
I took the dog to the groomers,
maybe selfish to do it so early
so I could call my sponsor
then get to an online meeting.
No, not selfish. Setting priorities.
After the meeting I got involved
doing silly stuff...okay, God,
you know what I did...the games
because I had ten minutes
but I spent too long, a bit selfish
because I was late to meet Jo
at the gym. I told her she need not
stay longer for my error, but she did
and I  would have for her...
it's to our own benefit.
It bothered me the ophthalmologist
struggled so with my eyes

but I was trying even if she said
my answers weren't consistent.
No, no selfishness I can find.
Dishonest? No.
Later I made a mistake,
admitted it, told him though I'd sent him
to the wrong house I sent me there first.
Now that fear stuff, that came in.
But he treated me right. At least then.
He got mad that I gave him instructions
instead of a map. I resented that.
Resented his anger at me
though I no longer fear it.
More resentment when he rode with me
and thought he could do it better.
Didn't say so, just commented
I'd not missed a light.
Not terrible on selfish, dishonest,
resentful, fearful. But that other...
turn our thoughts to someone else.
I read a sponsee's confession,
had too little empathy, just said,
"I've read it. When you want
to work the program badly enough
to do it, I'm here." She was admitting
and I sloughed if off. But she called it
a good wake-up call. My thoughts
at day's end weren't on service
but on stupid computer games
and relaxation. I'll be back tonight
with a new report.