Not So!

How much does she know that isn't so? ~ Rugh Limbaugh

How much did I know
that wasn't so?
That I was superior,
smart, able to do
what others failed.
That with willpower —
just a bit more —
I could conquer anything.

I didn't know willpower
served no purpose against this —
this disease, this addiction,
this insanity.  I saw no worth
in those around me, lacking IQ,
short on vocabulary, uneducated.
I couldn't believe them my equals,
my peers, people from whom
I might learn.

I didn't know the God I professed
cared enough to help with my food,
to stanch the sugary river ending
in the ocean of my neediness.
That he would and could when I hinted
ever so slightly, as timidly as could be,
my willingness.

I didn't know the ocean of love,
the acres of care, the universe of help
waiting for me to know
what I didn't know.