Lost: Egoism and Fear – Hopefully...

They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, page 73

To tell me to quit living in ego and fear
is like demanding I sit blindfolded
five minutes and never think of feathers.
Now any other time, that would be likely,
almost inevitable, but tell me that, and I fail.
I'll give you my egotism right now.
Just take it — see how easily I gave it up?
Am I not fine to be able to surrender it so?
Can you imagine anyone able to lay it aside
so well as I? Are you as proud of me as I?
I'll never get this right. I fear I've failed,
I'm worthless, hopeless, a disgrace.
I've tried to hard, so long, so desperately
to rid myself of ego, of fear. I'm hopeless,
powerless, unable. I give up.
I surrender...