Monday, December 31, 2018

Resolved

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. ~ Mark Twain
I make no New Years Resolutions,
though that was not always true.
Many times I promised,
not only at the beginning of a year
but of a semester, a month, a week, a day…
and almost without exception
that to which I committed
never came to pass.
You see there was a truth
I couldn’t set aside…
I was powerless over food
and my whole life
was unmanageable.
I remain powerless over food
and left to my own resources
my life is even more unmanageable
than ever. But I resolve one day at a time
to abstain from compulsive eating
and to avoid my trigger foods.
And as long as I also every day
surrender my life and my will
to my Higher Power who
I choose to call God,
I live in serenity and peace
with my life on the perfect path for me.
I resolve to hold to a life that works!
Copyright : orkidia

Saturday, December 29, 2018

It Takes as Long as It Takes

But there is no timetable or calendar in recovery. It is not a race, a game of winners and losers, or a timed event. Recovery takes as long as it needs to take. ~ Dean, Amy E. Morning Light: A Book of Meditations to Begin Your Day.Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Disappointed about not approaching
a level or levels you expected to master
this year? Did your task list fail to have checked
the projects you planned? Personally speaking,
yes, and yes. But I knew it was coming
a month ago. I hate to have missed
the deadline I set, but it doesn’t mean
because the plan fell apart that I’m a failure,
that I’m inadequate. I am in Recovery
which means I am changing, improving.
And as long as I keep on the path
moving where I’m directed to go,
all is well. Recovery takes 
as long as it needs to take.

Follow the Sponsor

Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith. ~ Hebrews 13:7 (NLT)
We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. ~ Alcohol Anonymous, pp. 73-74
Someone who has 
what I want — 
peace, a good life 
full of meaning, 
faith evident 
day by day, 
a leader to teach me the
  word of God. 
Someone I can be honest with, 
someone I will be honest with, 
I think well before choosing, 
but I choose. 
I choose. 
I take the leap 
and get a sponsor 
and listen 
and learn.
Thank you, God, 
for sponsors. Give me the courage 
to be sponsored.

 Rollins, Barbara, OAStepper. A Cloud of Witnesses –
Two Big Books and Us.

Eagle Wings Press
imprint of
Silver Boomer Books.
Kindle Edition.

Friday, December 28, 2018

Happiness

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. ~ George Sand

Things can’t cut it.
Specifically, riches can’t cut it.
Power can’t cut it.
Success can’t cut it.
Obsessing can’t cut it
whether the obsession is an addiction,
a person we place pride in
or long to be identified with…
We cannot set out to be happy
and make it so.
Love is the focus, the source
and if you give and receive love
enthusiastically, loving all you meet,
you can find and keep happiness.

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Start Today

Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay. ~ Simone de Beauvoir
Do you intend to change your life?
Are you working on reservations
to make at the start of the year?
Why is January the first the day
to take hold of your life, to change
as needed to be who you choose to be.
And if that doesn’t work, do you wait again
for January first to start again?
Or the first of next month,
or even the next Monday?
Don’t wait a year, a week , or a mere day!
If you regret your behavior, start now!
The next bite, the next word,
the next person you see…
begin this moment. Do it now!

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Boxing Day

Time to do service.
Traditionally
December 26th is
a holiday on which post-men, 
errand-boys, 
and servants of various kinds 
expect to receive a Christmas-box.
A day to remember folks
often not noticed.
Why should it be a single day?
Shouldn’t we have boxing day
every day of the year?
Shouldn’t we be generous
of material assets sometimes
and our assistance always?


Monday, December 24, 2018

Your Peace

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
You are peace. You’re peace. Your peace.
Do you own your peace?
Do you have peace? Is it yours?
Nobody else can own it.
Nobody can give it to you.
But when you come to believe
a power greater than you
can restore you to sanity,
and surrender, it is then
you can own your peace.
And it comes naturally.
You receive peace in return,
and having peace you are peace. 
You’re peace. Your peace.
Give yourself the gift
this holy day 
of being peace.

Peace Be with You

Isn’t it time to hold the ego in check? Let’s close the door to it. In turn, that opens the door to peace.
Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
And on earth there was peace,
good will to all. Or so it would seem…
for everyone else. Are you at peace today?
The angels announced this to the shepherds.
Did the shepherds feel at peace?
Were some of their number missing,
having gone to the home of their ancestors
for the census? Did it bother them
that the census was for taxation assessment?
How did they feel about Roman rule?
Is today less tumultuous?
Are you at peace with the season?
Does it cause you to stress?
Is gathering of families fraught
with decades-old tension?
How can you make it a time
where for you on earth there is peace,
good will to all?
Let love reign in your heart.
a spirit of forgiveness light your life
and that status for you touches, changes,
all around you so you feel…and bring…
peace on earth, good will to all.
Peace be with you and spread from you!

Sunday, December 23, 2018

The Eternal Incarnation

Paul told Christians in Rome and Galatia, 
“you have received the Spirit 
of adoption as sons.” and spoke of sating,
“Abba! Father!,” the equivalent of Daddy!
It’s said in the term of adoption,
but we’re told over and over
God is our Father. We’re also assured
we are children of God. 
In Step Three we choose the god
of our understanding. If that choice
is the God of the Bible
is it not true that each of us
wen we are living Recovery
is in truth an eternal incarnation?
I am honored with the concept
I can I can attempt to surrender
to the depth to make it true.


Saturday, December 22, 2018

In the Shadow

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


What does a shadow mean?
It means there’s a light…
a source of light…
affecting what you see.
And if all you see is the shadow
you may not see the light
because your back is turned to it.
So what do you do?
You don’t stand in the shadow!
Turn around, feel the radiance,
appreciate the warmth. 
Welcome the energy 
and put it to use 
to make the place welcoming,
comfortable, and warmed from the radiance.


Thursday, December 20, 2018

My Waiting Tutor

An ongoing problem is like a tutor who is always by your side. The learning possibilities are limited only by your willingness to be teachable.
Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, Enjoying Peace in His Presence. Thomas Nelson Nook Edition location 734

We learn from the hard parts of life.
Have you considered the rough spots
might be the favorites of your Higher Power?
When I'm confused, insecure, timid
about stepping out on a limb
I'm more likely to be malleable,
willing to be shaped...even redesigned.
May I be willing to admit to myself
when I'm over my head,
willing to listen to people around me
or even to sit still and listen
for a voice from within
with wisdom beyond mine
and be shaped and guided.


Wednesday, December 19, 2018

No Need to Submit

But, there’s a difference between submission and surrender. When we submit, we give in to a force that’s trying to control us. When we surrender, we let go of our need to control. Step Three asks us to surrender, not submit.
 Covington, Stephanie S. A Woman’s Way through the Twelve Steps (p. 48). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.


Submission feels like allowing
aggressive control of my world,
of my mind, of my reality.
Those of us with tendencies
toward lack of self esteem
may fear submission as yielding
to aggressive dominance.
I choose to opt out!
Submission was described
by an early friend of A.A.*
as consciously accepting
but not unconsciously. 
The subconscious sense is, 
“There’ll come a day…”
The struggle continues. 
Surrender, though,
is acceptance on the unconscious level
without a residual battle. 
Surrender yields relaxation 
and freedom from strain and conflict. 
I’ll take that gladly!
I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee my blessed Savior
I surrender all**
*  Dr Harry M. Tiebout
** I Surrender All lyrics © Warner/
Chappell Music, Inc, Universal 
Music Publishing Group


Most Important A;ways

 Abstinence is not always foremost in our minds, but it is always there when we are threatened by a return to old thoughts and cravings. Compulsive overeating was concentration on food; abstinence is concentration on recovery.
L., Elisabeth. Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Abstinence is the most important thing in our lives.
Nothing ever can matter more.
But what about our family?
We're hopeless wrecks without Recovery,
without abstinence. We cannot be present,
aware, functional without abstinence.
What about the Steps? The Steps
are the means of obtaining abstinence,
and lacking that or the search for it
are relegated to good suggestions.
What about traditions?
The Twelve Traditions guide us
in honoring customs, traditions,
making them meaningful for us.
Abstinence is the most important thing in our lives.
Nothing ever can matter more.
Keep things in perspective
and have a wondrous meaningful
fulfilling Christmas, Hanukkah,
or celebration of your choosing.

Copyright : Alexander Raths

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Learning to Pray

May I begin to feel prayer, not just listen to the sound of my own verbalizing. May I feel the sharp outlines of my humanness fading as His Godliness becomes a part of me. May I feel that I am one with Him.
Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

I like better Jesus' answer to the apostles
in the sixth chapter of Matthew.
First some exclusions, how not to,
don't show off your holiness,
no public displays. Just you and God.
No babbling, repetition for lengthy prayers.
He laid it out, six dozen words.
Admonitions to look good,
no martyrdom acting, back to
prohibition of putting on impressive shows.
That hard part was slipped in, though...
forgive everyone else,
or the forgiveness you want,
God will withhold.
Luke's account is similar,
half the words, then no instruction to love
but a description of how it looks.
But canned prayers are useful,
a good start, but no room left
for God's response.
I figure God gets plenty of chances
to speak to me through my reading
from 18 devotional/Recovery books a day
and passages to read the Bible each year...
But to talk to me, not just nodding assent
when I ask that he bless people?
I get involved in getting deep breathing right
and saying "OMM" doesn't leave
listening time. I guess all I can say is,
"Lord, teach me to pray...including listening."


Monday, December 17, 2018

A Dozen Years

...Until December 17, 2006.
Driving to Sunday school where I’d taught the same class more than 20 years, I stopped at a convenience store. The routine, both Sundays and weekdays, varied only in the name over the door of the dispenser of sweet gooey treats. Sundays included cappuccino with the sweet roll. Back in the car, I addressed God aloud, a custom sometimes embarrassing when I think I’m alone but I’m not. “This is stupid.”
OAStepper. Slender Steps to Sanity - Twelve-Step Notes of Hope (Kindle Locations 91-94). Eagle Wings Press, imprint of Silver Boomer Books. 

I can think of no other 12-year span in my nearly 72
that have more drastically changed me than those in O. A.
And it continues to get better and better. The strongest
abstinence ever will, as long as I remain willing
to surrender daily reach a year on my birthday next month,
January 22. I wish for you the peace and contentment,
the love and fellowship I've found to be mine
since that day I walked through virtual doors
and into the rooms of Recovery!


Sunday, December 16, 2018

Dancing Step Three

...turning our will over is like dancing with a partner. If both try to lead, there is much confusion and little forward movement. As one who has taught many couples how to dance, I know the awkwardness and bucking that result when both partners compete for control. But when the partner who is following can relax and let the other partner do the steering, the couple flows easily across the dance floor.
Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II . Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

I've never considered teaching dancing.
I danced to five songs or fewer
with my now husband in the late 1960's,
and I think neither of us knew how.
My next experience was when my older son,
soon to be 28, diligently worked on preparing me
to dance with him at his wedding reception.
He managed to make it a believable effort
but the awkwardness, buckling the result,
took his patience and experience to remedy.
I do believe I'm much more comfortable
in the Step Three equivalent relaxing
and let the Real Power do the steering.
I'm no better at that than I am dancing.





Saturday, December 15, 2018

Be Who You Are

Learn what you are and be such.
Pendar

We come to the rooms of Recovery
unaware of who we are.
The insanity of addiction has created
the only god we worship,
whether it be alcohol, sugar,
carbohydrates, drugs, sex, gambling...
or some combination or succession of these.
Our perception of reality had been rendered
by misplaced anger, resentment,
discernment, grasp of ourselves
as well as our surroundings.
But in these rooms and trough the Steps
we began to clarify our vision and reality.
Then slowly or suddenly we understood
ourselves and our relationship to reality
then as we kept coming back we
began to comprehend what we were,
who we were, and how we fit
into the big picture of reality
and how we should be
until with the help of the program
and a Power greater than we
it became possible to be who we should be.



Friday, December 14, 2018

Glimpses of Truth

Open my eyes, that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.
Clara H. Scott

Raised in the church, I received
an advanced degree in Christian education,
have been church staff in three congregations,
have written curriculum for Baptists
and Methodists, have taught church school
for decades, and church school teachers
at all levels. I took Greek as an elective,
know the Bible and church history...
but the truth moved from my head to my heart
at long last when I walked into
the rooms of Recovery.
I knew the hymns my memory
for most of the verses but this one,
at long last grabbed me when I read it today
in a Recovery meditation.
My eyes have been opened
in these rooms and the key
found in Twelve Steps has unclasped me
and set me free.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

God Shares Your Name

“He must become the God of you, the God of . . .” he paused, “your name. The one named John must know Him as the God of John. The one named Mary must know Him as the God of Mary. It is His will that your name be in His Name and that His Name be joined to yours, just as His life is joined to your life and His identity to your identity. His secret Name is as sacred as all His other Names. It means He’s the God of your existence, your life, the God of your past, the God of your needs, the God of your wounds, the God of your heart.
Cahn, Jonathan. The Book of Mysteries (p. 295). Charisma House. Kindle Edition.
Your Higher Power is your own.
You can begin by writing a job description,
listing what your Power can do,
how this works. You probably will find
your expectations evolve
as your comfort grows,
as your trust expands.
Then you can name your God,
like the fellow who used the line
"in" the Lord's Prayer.
Find your Power, trust your Power,
grow to who your Power
opens a path for you to be!


Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Be a Peach

You can be the ripest, juiciest peach 🍑 in the world and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches 🍑 ~ deezworkoutz
It’s all well and good…
better than good…the best!!
The directive to love one another,
to love your neighbor,
to be love, to accept that you are love.
It’s all well and good
but we’re not puppets
and your having found
the path of love doesn’t place others
on the same route.
Emmet Fox said,
“Your neighbor’s life is sacred 
and you have no right 
to try to manage it for him. 
Let him alone…. 
why should you interfere?”
It’s my place to help someone
who wishes my help 
as long as I can while respecting them
but also me. But for me to decide
to “fix” things for them,
I leave it alone and know
it’s none of my business.
What is my business
is to love them, to love them,
just to love them.

Fear Not

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 New International Version (NIV)
A conscious presence of our Higher Power
is the heart of Step 11:
"Sought through prayer
and meditation to improve
our conscious contact with God
as we understood Him,
praying only for knowledge
of His will for us
and the power to carry that out."
We have a need for constant awareness
for there to be constant contact.
What is your most common emotion?
Mine is fear and my guess is it's yours as well.
As the Big Book says (not THAT Big Book
but Alcoholics Anonymous) says, "This short word
somehow touches about every aspect of our lives."
The Big Big Book, the Bible, addresses
this short word that looms so large
in our lives is ancient and ubiquitous.
HP knows the answer. Remember...
say aloud if you're alone, "God is with me
and has control. He's making me strong enough
and holding my hand...holding me up
if that's what I need. What do I need to fear?
He's got me!








Monday, December 10, 2018

Help!

I will not be a martyr any longer by refusing to get the help I deserve in life—the help that makes life simpler. God, help me let go of my need to do everything alone. Help me use the vast Universe or resources available to me.

Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 357). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

I confess I need help.
I need to move boxes of books home
then to distribute them
to people who want them,
to those who wrote them
or people who should read them.
I need to contact authors
(or estates of people) I can't find.
I need people who can compute royalties.
I need to admit my needs
and stop the martyrdom complex.
Now look at yourself?
What help do you need?

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Powerless

I am powerless over… [anyone else’s problems or their] pain. The most helpful course of action is for me to stay out of the way! ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 4389-4390). Al-Anon Family Groups. 
How can I be helpful for others? 
I can change only myself. 
I could give advice,
but unsolicited means unwelcome.
I’m as powerless over others
as I ever was over myself.
People ask for prayers,
and that’s fine.
I don’t tell God what to do for them
any more than I do for me,
avoiding fixing it with my own ideas
and seeking God’s stamp of approval.
I figure it’s best if it is I
who obeys the orders of Divine Mind
and only in turning it over to God 
do I ever become other than 
powerless in anything.

Friday, December 7, 2018

With Dignity

Today I know that I am more than my troubles. I am a human being with dignity. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 4250-4251). Al-Anon Family Groups.
Who am I now?
Who was I
when I entered
the rooms of Recovery?
I was living an unmanageable life
powerless over my addiction.
I was miserable, angry
but hiding the anger
for ladies weren't supposedto show anger or jealousy
or misery. No, we were to behave,
to be good girls and the insides
should match but when they didn't,
dob't show it. Keep your chin up,
make the others happy
and plod along. That's who I was.
Who am I now? I'm still powerless,
unable to manage butI have an ally
Greater than I, and with that help
I am now more. I am worthy,
a human being with dignity.
What a difference!

Make It So

Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. ~William James
The song directs us
to accentuate the positive
and latch on to the affirmative.
The Psalmist tells us to clap our hands
and shout to God with cries of joy
and that weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

John wants to be face to face
so our joy can be complete.
Life is good. You are precious,
loved, and cared for.
Believe life is worth living
and the belief itself,
the joy within you
will make your life a daily delight.


Thursday, December 6, 2018

Simple Enough

Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts. ~ 1 John 5:21 New Living Translation (NLT)
Paul gave a list in Romans,
things which could possibly
edge out God from hearts.
Death and life seem contenders,
but angels and demons don't make my cut.
Fears for today or my worries about tomorrow...
again, he's grazing in my pastures.
The powers of hell, things in
 the sky above
or in the earth below...if things include people
they get a maybe. But bigger seductions
for me are fear, that old addiction
that brought me to Recovery,
and codependent relationships,
self-doubt, simple distractions...
can I really say with certainty
these can never separate me from God’s love?
God, save me.  Keep away from me
anything that might take your place in my heart!


Wednesday, December 5, 2018

It's Okay, God's Here.

Because we fear abandonment, which comes from our misinterpretation that God left us, we cling tightly to our companions. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course (Kindle Locations 3773-3774). Hazelden Publishing.
Could fear of abandonment
come from a misinterpretation
that God left me? That would make sense
since non-perfect parents first
fill the god-role in our lives.
And when they shake our faith
we cling to them, trying to please,
failing too often. We move on from them
to other people, spouses, bosses,
friends, teachers. But they let us down, too.
But that's okay. We wanted them
to be gods, to stand by us, to protect us.
But they're not and never were.
That's okay. God is here.
God loves me no matter what,
stands by me at the ready,
does not interfere but stands ready.
When I make the smallest move toward Him
He's always there, always here with me,
and it's all okay!!


Tuesday, December 4, 2018

My Higher Power's Hands

In my mind, I picture my Higher Power’s hands. One by one, I place my problems and worries, my joy and my gratitude, into those hands, and finally, I climb in too. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 4333-4334). Al-Anon Family Groups.
It beats a God box
though those have value.
Putting your concerns, your hopes,
your gratitude, your agitation
not into a decorated oatmeal box
but directly into the hands of God
could not help but create a peaceful heart.
But then to visualize climbing in as well
cannot help but stamp on your heart
the truth of your surrender!


Sunday, December 2, 2018

Love Is God

“God Is Love.” For some reason, my mind transposed the words into “Love is God.” ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Location 3342). Hazelden Publishing.
Equivalent statements work backwards and forward.
Far be it from me to define mathematics
since I'm illiterate in the language.
But if we're talking grammar,
be, am, is, are, was, were...
with a predicate nominative,
that I can grasp. What???
you may ask. Well,
a predicate nominative (or predicate noun)
is the noun or pronoun after a linking verb.
It renames the subject of the sentence.
The sentence should still make sense
if you switch the predicate nominative and the subject.
Therefore if the Bible is right in saying "God is Love."
the reverse is also true, "Love is God."
And it IS true. Love is God.


Saturday, December 1, 2018

Marching Orders

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. ~ 1 Timothy 2:1-2 New Living Translation (NLT)
Pray for mankind. For yourself,
that you be directed in God's will.
Pray for your household and those
once there, now distant.
Pray for the people in the news,
for those hurt and hurting
and for the leaders of the world.
Pray for your friends, for co-workers,
for kith and kin. Pray for those who rile you,
Ask God's blessing for all
but leave details to Him.
Give thanks for all.
If "God bless you" or
"Have a blessed day" feels right,
let your words bless
and in all your days
seek that we can live peaceful,
quiet lives
marked by godliness and dignity.