"Your" Children

 They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you. ~ Kahlil Gibran. The Prophet

Our children are not ours.
We cannot craft them.
We cannot guide them.
We cannot direct their development
nor kraft their abilities.
You may strive to be like them,
but should not and cannot
make them like you
or like you want them to be.

Kahlil Gibran

Progression

 Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. ~ Francis of Assisi

The key is doing!
It’s so much easier to do nothing.
But when we finally actually do something
we’ve actually broken the pattern of inertia
and when we’ve done that
if we can continue in the uncomfortable stance
of productivity then the old ways can fall by the wayside
because this feels do much better something…anything!
that we continue to seek the good feelings
and after a while, we see a difference.
The hangup can have been retirement,
or loss of the normal through drastic changes in life
like a pandemic, or other impediments
where normal has ceased to be normal,
but we can break through the bump in the road
and soon we’re accomplishing not just the necessary
but soon the possible and if we just keep moving
it comes to the point we have contributed to the
forward movement and reached the impossible!

The Process of Wholeness

 Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

In Step Eleven we are seeking God’s will
and the power to carry out
the process of wholeness.
They’re tough words there:
Prayer. Meditation. Conscious.
Contact. Understood. Knowledge.
Power. “Process of wholeness”
is not set out in the step,
but that as the purpose rings true to me.
If you are speaking to God,
it is impossible to do it wrong.
Children all have their own way
of speaking to their parents.
God’s children do, too.
Our conversation with God
is our conversation.
The most important thing
is to keep talking
and to keep listening.

Feel Empowered in Every Situation

Every time we replace a negative thought with one of love or peace, we’ll feel relief. We’ll also feel empowered and hopeful in every situation we encounter. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course (Hazelden Meditations) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Do you prefer to feel love or fear?
Peace and inclusion or anger?
Empowerment and hope
or enmity and dissension.
You’re in control. You decide for all involved.
It’s a decision you make all around.
You can also feel empowered and hopeful
in every situation you encounter
and your positives will set the tone.

Walking into Darkness to Find Light

Some ... describe integration as walking into a dark room, closing the door, and talking to each lingering trait. We visualize such traits as people-pleasing, addictive thinking, confusing love with pity, and judging ourselves harshly. In the darkness, we speak to these traits. We thank them and others for their protection in our lives. We ask them to retire or step back. ~ ACA WSO INC.  Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families, ACA WSO INC. Kindle Edition.

Consider using this tool
in Steps Six, Seven and Ten.
Visualize yourself in a dark room
alone in the dark with only
your character defects as company.
What do you encounter?
Arrogance? Anger? Selfishness?
Being judgmental? Resentment?
Dishonesty? Jealousy?
Laziness? Defensiveness?
Being overly critical? Pride?
Something else?
Speak to the trait...
I hope you're physically alone,
so there's no overhearing done
by someone you excluded
from the imaginary dark room!
What do you want the character defect to do?
Do you want it to evolve to a paired trait?
If you're overly cautious do you want
to become curious?
Do you need to change nervousness
to confidence?
Talk to your traits. Tell them what
you want them to become.
From the darkness you walked into,
find your way to the light.

Image Copyright : Dmytro Buianskiy 

Infinite Wisdom Can

 Think of a child just learning subtraction. He reaches the point where he understands how to take six from eight. Then he gets the little problem of taking eight from twelve and his faith in arithmetic collapses. To him it is obvious that you cannot take eight from two and that is the end of the matter. Teacher, however, sees a little farther and shows him how it can easily be done. Infinite Wisdom knows a simple way out of every difficulty, a simple answer to every problem, a beautiful and joyous solution to any dilemma that can come to anyone, and it is only our ingrained habit of limiting God that keeps Him from giving us perfect harmony. Do not limit the power of God for good in your life. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (pp. 178-179). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

It seems like it can't be done,
but somebody else does it.
There wasn't much Daddy couldn't do.
He could not hula-hoop, or get stink bate
to stay on a hook.
And he took my Timex watch apart 
and could not put it together again.
There wasn't much Daddy couldn't do.
There is not anything God cannot do.
He's even got stink bate and girls' Timex watches
conquered. God knows a simple way
out of every difficulty,
a simple answer to every problem, 
it is only our ingrained habit
of limiting God
that keeps Him from giving us
perfect harmony. 
Let's let him!

Image Copyright : crazymouse 

 

Inseparable

 

God holds your hands, and what can separate whom He has joined as one with Him? ~  Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles. Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. 

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. ~ 1 John 4:16

 I expect we’ve all held the hand of a youngster
and shied away from grasping it tightly enough
to stay in contact. The fear incurred when
we lose the connection can be traumatic
for the adult as well as the child.
But God holds your hands,
and what can separate
whom He has joined as one with Him?
But “in him we live and move and have our being.
As some of your own poets have said,
‘We are his offspring.'”
God’s hands continue to hold ours
no matter what we walk through.

Image Copyright :
Kostia Gerashchenko

Have a Little Talk with God

I chewed on God's butt this morning a little bit. ~ DKP

I grew up to the song C. Austin Miles' "In the Garden,"
I come to the garden alone
while the dew is still on the roses,
and the voice I hear falling on my ear
the Son of God discloses...
What's your prayer life?
Are you so comfortable you can say,
"I chewed on God's butt this morning a little bit."
Can you talk to God in ways he's aware you use?
Or do you feel you must pray in words
at home in a hymnal?

Dr. Sabrina Jackson Facebook Page

 

Three Threes

Donna A from Reading, Pennsylvania,
tells of a simple way to do a Tenth Step
which reads, “10. Continued
to take personal inventory
and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it.”
She calls it three threes
and at the end of the day names
three gratitudes, three things done well
and three things she could have done better.
I hope to adopt her plan.
Today I’ll make it public.
(1) I’m grateful for our Wednesday morning
Overeaters Anonymous group,
(2) that Covid’s changing reality
means I get to meet local friends
and with people far away in terms of miles
but as close as my screen.
(3) I’m grateful for the suggestion I study
Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio
and the ability to obtain it in my easy chair.
I did well today (1) in eating three meals
without snacks and following guidelines.
(2) I read the selections from
my thirteen daily readings, catching up for some
of yesterday’s. (3) I cleaned my kitchen
and made coffee to lighten the load tomorrow.
(1) I just took pills I should have taken earlier
with supper. (2) I’ll do my morning meditation
before going to sleep tonight rather than
before getting up this morning. (3) When Hubby
asked me to make pancakes for his supper
I mismeasured and the mess made mandatory
the kitchen cleaning!

And that completes three gratitudes,
three things done well
and three things I could have done better. 

For What Purpose?

 

If the opera bores you, do not go to the Metropolitan just because it is fashionable to do so. If, on the other hand, you think “I do not like opera because my musical taste is undeveloped, but nevertheless I will attend the best operas until I gradually develop that taste,” that is a splendid policy. Honesty is the first step in self-development. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 175). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

Are you trying to impress the snobs
or are you interested in becoming someone else,
someone who impresses you?
Set your own goals then take the action
necessary to reach them.
Honesty really is the first step
in self-development.

Image Copyright : Artem Oleshko

Stick with the Winners?

 

Stick with the Winners. -- You have to give it away to keep it. ~ Recovery Slogans

“Stick with the Winners.” and
“You have to give it away to keep it.”
It sounds contradictory to say these together, no?
Add in that the newcomer
is the the most important person in a meeting,
and it all feels hopeless, right?
Wrong. We need newcomers
and they and people coming back
after weeks…months…years.
They are the people we can help
by giving Recovery away
so it can stay vital in our lives.
We give it away to winners as well,
for we all need each other
and grow from conversations
both giving and absorbing.
Winners revitalize us, complete us,
move us forward.

An Apology You Never Got

 

Life becomes easier when you learn to accept ab apology you never got. ~ Robert Brault

Are you waiting for an apology?
Is it eating you? Are you eating
because of it?
What is it you want said, done?
Is the debtor even still alive?
Does it go both ways, is the person
waiting for an apology from you?
Do each of you know how to find the other?
If you got the apology, how would you feel?
How can you feel that way without it?
How do you want to feel?
Can you decide to feel that way?
Is there an apology you
should have made but never did?
How can you learn to accept
an apology you never got?

Attracting Right-Minded Companions

 Blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night. ~ Psalm 1:1-2. NIV, Holy Bible, eBook (p. 528). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

How do we know whether someone’s wicked,
whether we’re standing in the way of the sinners?
Mockers may be easier to pick out,
but hanging around with God, learning all
we can pick up, thinking about God,
talking to Him and his guidance all the time…
That’s a pretty good way not to attract the wicked,
the sinners, the mockers but to revel in love and good will
every minute of every day!

Participation in Creation

 Give portions to seven, yes to eight, for you do not
know what disaster may come upon the land.
If clouds are full of water,
they pour rain upon the earth.
Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north,
in the place where it falls, there will it lie. ~ Ecclesiastes 11:2-3 (NIV)

Give and you’ll get.
Share, and you’ll receive.
Teach somebody to learn the subject.
Cut out the “what if’s.” Trust in God’s goodness, in his bounty.
But know it’s better to give than to receive,
and giving enhances the bounty received.

God, I’m centered in me unless with your help
I have the joy of really participating in your creation. Help me.

A Time for Verse: Poetic Ponderings on Ecclesiastes by Barbara B. Rollins

 

Spiritual Knees

 

Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. ~ Victor Hugo

 Okay, God.
This is stupid, God.
A lifelong Methodist,
I cross myself.
First, though, for all of these
I make sure nobody will know
but God and me…As I get in an empty car
or walk through an empty room.
God need not be sought. He’s there,
available, loving you, caring about you.
Remember when you need him
your soul can fall on your knees
no matter what your body’s doing.

image Copyright : linux87

 

Supported

 

Think about how it feels to be supported. ~ Monique Rhodes

What would you do without furniture, floors,
the lawn, cars, airplanes, whatever to support you?
Less obvious but perhaps even more essential
because of being less obvious is the emotional,
psychological, family, friends, group support we have.
Yet we need still more support…spiritual,
intrinsic, innate, physiological, safety, love,
belonging, esteem, and self-actualization needs.
Do you feel supported in all needed ways?
On what five more esoteric supports do you rely?

Image Copyright : WATIPORN YENCHUM

The Practice of the Presence of God

 

The Practice of the Presence of God is the perfect prayer because it understands everything and overlooks nothing. ~ Fox, Emmet.Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 166). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

How do you practice the presence of God?
I would suggest a mental soundtrack
along the lines of, “Be still and know that I am God.”
“I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene
And wonder how He could love me
A sinner condemned, unclean…”
“I come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses;
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses.”
And he said, “My presence will go with you,
and I will give you rest.”
“You will seek me and find me,
when you seek me with all your heart.”
“Let us then with confidence draw near
to the throne of grace,
that we may receive mercy
and find grace to help in time of need.”
Behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in to him and eat with him,
and he with me.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through
the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
I’d stay in the garden with Him
Tho’ the night around me be falling;
But He bids me go; thro’ the voice of woe,
His voice to me is calling.
Let us practice the presence of God today.

We've Lived It

 I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? ~ Galatians 3:2 NIV.

The doctor’s theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us. As a layman, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean little. But as ex problem drinkers, we can say that his explanation makes good sense. It explains many things for which we cannot otherwise account. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous. The Big Book, “The Doctor’s Opinion

Where does change come from?
Paul wondered if technicalities,
the law handed down to Moses
or word of mouth, the telling
of wonders seen and felt by
themselves or handed down through
reactions, experiences of others,
of people like them,
actually conveyed the truth.
Alcoholics Anonymous pioneers
saw little help in allergy theories
but of the doctor’s theories
their experience
verified truths for which
they could not otherwise account.

God, theories may be interesting
but your
work in our lives
is the proof
we can know.

The Cost Calculated

 

What is the opposite of struggle? Surrender. ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh

Struggle: to make forceful or violent efforts
to get free of restraint or constriction.
Surrender: to yield to the power, control,
or possession of another upon compulsion or demand.
Of the twelve steps, step three
can be best referred to as the process of surrender.
It asserts that a lifetime of recovery
can only be achieved by making the decision
to turn over your will to a higher being.
Struggle feels yucky. Surrender lights up lives.

Image Copyright : rawpixel

Enough

 

You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough. ~ William Blake in Proverbs of Hell

How many years did I fail to know
what was enough from what was over the top,
or teeming, opulence, excess?
I recently received a suggestion
I seek to partake of an offer
I realized would fit Blake’s descriptor
of being “more than enough.”
In the same way I’ve learned
how to distinguish enough from surfeit,
in food, and in other things,
I understand I have far more than I need
in every possible way.
Truly, I am blessed!

                                                                                          Image Copyright : Anna Hirna

In the Beginning

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ~ Genesis 1:1, NIV, Holy Bible, eBook (p. 1). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

If you take this thought in the beginning, God, and make it the keynote of your whole life, you have found the secret of success. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 160). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

How often do you put yourself in the beginning
rather than putting God in the primary position?
Are you the center of your life or have you
managed to turning your life and your will
over to the care of a power greater than yourself?

 

The Cost

 

The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run. ~ Henry David Thoreau

That makes what I think of
as “stupid computer games”
my most valuable possession!
In what are you over-investing?
Are you willing to give it up?
I think I am…I have, many times,
but inevitably I reclaim them.

We Get in Our Way

 

What gets in the way of our awareness of God is self. If we are narrowly focused on the concerns of ego and self-will, we ignore the presence of a Higher Power. Then we become weak and confused in our aloneness. ~ L., Elisabeth.

 Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters (Hazelden Meditations Book 1) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Ignoring the presence if our Higher Power
leaves us feeling alone, misunderstood,
weak and confused. It’s not that we’re really alone,
it’s in our lack of awareness because we’re so
totally aware of ourself, so unable to look around,
to see past our self-esteem and self-importance.
But when we look beyond, use the
“I can’t. God can. I think I’ll let God.”
shorthand for the first three Steps,
We’re no longer in the way
and couldn’t be in better company!

Image copyright Craig’s Domania Internet Services

Fifth Step Prayer

 

Divine creator. Thank you for this chance to speak honestly with another person about the events of my life. Help me accept responsibility for my actions. Let me show compassion for myself and my family as I revisit my thinking and actions that have blocked me from your love. Restore my child within. Restore my feelings. Restore my trust in myself. Amen. ~ ACA WSO INC., Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families, ACA WSO INC. Kindle Edition.

There are two prayers within the text
of the original text of the Alcoholics Anonymous,
the Big Book, and those are for the Third and Fifth Steps.
You can find prayers for all Twelve Steps, though.
Consider these if you’re curious.
In addition other Twelve-Step programs have their own.
The Fifth Step is a tough one, often traumatic:
[We] Admitted to God, to ourselves
and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs.
 This Adult Children of Alcoholics
may well help us all to courageously
admit our wrongs.

Image . Copyright : Roman Samborsky

Sacred Tears

 Every tear is sacred.  It means you no longer need to carry around the burden it represents. ~ Miranda’s first sponsor

Sacred:  connected with God
(or the gods) or dedicated
to a religious purpose
and so deserving veneration.
How are tears sacred?
Tears: a drop of the saline,
watery fluid continually secreted
by the lacrimal glands
between the surface of the eye
and the eyelid, serving to moisten
and lubricate these parts and keep them clear.
Fluid appearing in or flowing
from the eye as the result of emotion,
especially grief: to shed tears.
Washing away that which impedes
the connection between us and the Power
greater than us who can restore me to sanity.
Sacred Tears strip away impediments
between us and Good/God.

Image Copyright : chepko

Don't Just Do Something

 

We do so much, we run so quickly, the situation is difficult, and many people say, “Don’t just sit there, do something.” But doing more things may make the situation worse. So you should say, “Don’t just do something, sit there.” Sit there, stop, be yourself first, and begin from there. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

Elvis Presley? Dwight D. Eisenhower?
The White Rabbit? Clint Eastwood?
Martin Gabel? Adlai Stevenson?
Leonard Lyons? Who originated
the directive  “Don’t just do something,
Sit there” or, alternatively, Stand there.
Perhaps many people played with the words,
but it’s fine with me to give them all credit
for the first use! I just hope to remember
the wisdom and to practice it as needed!

Too Smart Means Trouble

 You can’t be too dumb to recover

but it’s easy to be too smart.
Dumb, insecure, convinced
you’re without hope, that you’re a loser,
is the perfect frame of reference
to listen, to follow the suggestions
as though they were written-in-stone laws,
and to act without question, without response,
without suggesting an alternative.

But the one whose grades and test scores
declare to be above average, intelligent,
among the top? We, for I believed
I was without assets except intelligence
for that only could not be doubted…
because of grades and test scores
and the ease with which they were obtained…
We…doubt it could be that easy.
We…argue that there’s a way to do it easier,
quicker, more completely, a better way.
We…can know it all, be experts,
write a book about it, speak with confidence,
be perceived as having it…
But we know we don’t until we understand
we’re not that bright, not so smart we can do no better,
and we give up and act like we know nothing
but are willing to do whatever it takes,
to go to any lengths.

Image Copyright : Kenny Kiernan

Layers of Shame

 

We are removing layers of shame and despair to find our True Selves. We began peeling back layers of the onion in Step One with the admission of being powerless …. Just as an onion can bring tears, our grief work will help us find our tears. ~ ACA WSO, INC. Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families,  ACA WSO INC. Kindle Edition.

Do you live with shame or despair,
especially as residue from an unmanageable life
you’re learning to turn over
to a Power greater than yourself?
Do you need to explore your emotions
through feeling them?
Would that help you identify them?
Feel your way through your feelings.
Peel your way into feeling your feelings.

Image Copyright : Roman Stetsyk

Feel your way through your feelings.
Peel your way into feeling your feelings.

Forgetting What I Know

 

I have always tried my best to let wisdom guide my thoughts and actions. I said to myself, “I am determined to be wise.” But it didnʼt work. Wisdom is always distant and difficult to find. I searched everywhere, determined to find wisdom and to understand the reason for things. I was determined to prove to myself that wickedness is stupid and that foolishness is madness. ~ Ecclesiastes 7.23-25 (New Living Translation)

We may with advantage
at times forget what we know.*
My head gets in the way,
wants to control,
wants to dictate,
demands at least to sit as lifeguard
to watch over what God does in me,
to me,
as though I had more sense,
as though I could manage me
or anything else.
I don’t understand this stuff,
this living.
I need to act as if I do
while God takes the reins
and carries me beyond
my wildest dreams.

God, help me forget what I know,
to make room for believing
what I cannot fathom.

*Publilius Syrus

Who Do You Want to Be?

Before I make a move today, I’ll decide who I want to be. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course (Hazelden Meditations) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The only part of our religion that is real is the part we express in our daily lives. Ideals which we do not act out in practice are mere abstract theories and have no real meaning. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 149). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

Who do you want to be?
Would you be controlled by social norms?
Would you let your spouse or your parent…
or your children dictate the “oughts”
set out to measure you?
Are you in charge?
Have you turned your life and your will
over to God as you understand God?
Do you emulate the rich and famous,
hoping to feel yourself a trendsetter?
Or can you freely say, “Before I make a move today,
I’ll decide who I want to be.”
Do you claim to intend one standard
but really act out in practice mere abstract theories
that have no real meaning?
Who do you want to be today?
Will you be that?