Half Measures Don't Work

Nothing short of an honest, wholehearted commitment to abstinence and the OA program will give us the ability to stop eating compulsively. If we think we can get away with small deviations here and there, we are deluding ourselves. Our disease is progressive, and unless we take the steps outlined in the program, it will eventually destroy us. ~ L., Elisabeth. Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters (Kindle Locations 2210-2212). Hazelden Publishing.

"I'll read literature and eat right."
"I'll go until I can wear that dress."
"I don't need a sponsor. I know this stuff."
"I can't do this Higher Power stuff."
The Big Book says, "Half measures
availed us nothing.
We stood at the turning point.
We asked His protection and care
with complete abandon."
If we truly take Step Three we will make it.
Short of that is half measures,
which avail us nothing!

Peace First

Peace of mind first—and all things will follow on that. God is ready the moment you are. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 45). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

Anger, resentment, grief,
jealousy, bitterness, fear, doubt,
stress, indignation, anxiety,
frustration...whoever you are,
whatever you're feeling,
wherever you are,
center yourself, find peace of mind,
by saying the serenity prayer
or simply calling God's name,
claiming your serenity,
you open the door to God
and the blessings he holds,
a life of peace with all negativity
replaced by abundance.

She's Describing Me!

Acceptance of being different from other people can be difficult, but it is also a relief. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Voices of Recovery (Kindle Locations 2749-2750). Overeaters Anonymous.

She spoke at the workshop
for Overeaters Anonymous
and told MY life story
claiming it was hers!
I almost didn't go back,
but my sponsor told me
she knew the woman,
had for years, and it was hers --
She'd told her own story.
The longer I go to meetings,
the more convinced I become
that every one of us
has a story that varies only slightly,
that we share fears, doubts,
rebellion, realizations,
sudden insights, resentments
and character defects.
But if we put our hands together
and  keep coming back,
we can also share our stories
of Recovery, serenity, and
the life beyond our dreams!

Entrenched

The minute we say, “No, never,” our minds close against the grace of God. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Location 2349). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Turn it over, let it go.
Don't hold on.
God is fully capable
of pulling our strings,
treating us like a marionette.
Capable, yes, but willing to?
Absolutely not. He's not controlling
like a parent determined to
have a child act to their standards...
but he allows us choose,
even to make mistakes.
But the invitation is extended,
the willingness to make it work.
If we accept, it does work
but God is not a puppeteer.
The minute we say,
“No, never,”
our minds close
against the grace of God.

Self-Love

…self-love is an unequivocal acceptance of the validity of getting what one wants—of respecting one’s needs. ~ Marion Weinstein quoted in Anonymous. Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families (Hazelden Meditation Series) (Kindle Locations 2382-2384). Hazelden Publishing.

Why am I last in line
for getting my needs met?
Who made that decision?
I could name people
who seem to believe
they have the right to priority
in getting needs met,
and I've let them call that shot.
Standing against them
seems to me so totally wrong.
But it's not. I am a child of God.
I am loved and deserve to be.
But the one to convince is me!
I need to accept without question
the validity of getting my wants
and more than that I need to respect
that I have needs and deserve
to have them met.

Practice the Presence

By practicing the Presence of God wherever distortion shows itself, you will rapidly redeem your own existence and help to liberate the whole race too. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 40). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

"Teach these new disciples
to obey all the commands
I have given you. And be sure of this:
I am with you always,
even to the end of the age."*
Do you believe in the presence
of God in your life always?
Did you surrender to your Higher Power,
not my will but yours?
Do you believe God is the vine
and we the branches,
that we alone can do nothing?**
Practice the Presence
then watch as miracles happen!


*Matthew 20:28 (NLV)
**John 15:4-5

Stepping Stones

A first cautious step
wondering what this
is all about but hopeless,
and these folk seem to know me
inside out. It can't be worse.
They talk about power
that can when I can't.
Another careful step.
They say "Let him,
or her or it, your choice.
A step further.
They say to write a list.
things you fear,
people who hurt you.
Sure! I forge ahead
then Stop! They want me to tell!
A baby step, but not so bad...
Get ready, not so hard,
the sixth stone.
Then get rid of bad habits.
Not really comfortable, but done.
List people I owe apologies?
An uncomfortable step

to stand on but I expected worse.
The last three stepping stones
seem well worn.
Crowds of people
long before me have worn them smooth
using them day after day
year after year. And at the end of the
stepping stones the scenery
so much better, my footing so secure...
why did I ever hesitate to start?

Trust God and Clean House

I heard someone in the Program once read, “Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well, regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.” That is what Step Seven means to me—that I’m going to clean house and will have all the help I need. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 2306-2308). Hazelden Publishing.

Trust God and clean house?
I must admit at this point
the cleaning house is more intimidating.
Removing roomsful of clutter physically
in trying to empty office space is tough,
but the psychological clutter is as bad.
Sorting through thirty years of correspondence,
journals, notes to and from me,
emotional debris I've grown through
but hurtful still. But Step Seven!
It's not my issue. I've already become
entirely ready, and my part
remains as passive relief...
"I pray that You now remove from me
every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness
to You and my fellows.
Grant me strength,
as I go out from here, to do Your bidding."
Amen, so be it!

Loving Him

Co-dependent no more.
Growing old together.

Decades of history
teeming with hurtful
discourse, evolving now
to gratitude, small talk,
servitude willingly given
and graciously received.
Loving him still.
Loving him healthily now.

One Day at a Time

Each day is a little life; every waking and rising a little birth; every fresh morning a little youth; every going to rest and sleep a little death. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

We live in the Now.
Yesterday is history.
We may...or may not...
have another day tomorrow.
Today is the present,
a gift from God.
On arising we think about the day
and what may happen,
asking God to direct our thinking
"asking that it be divorced
from self-pity, dishonest
or self-seeking motives."
We seek God's help deciding.
seeking intuition and inspiration.
Meditation and prayer
prepare us for a day
living in the now,
guided along the way.
As the day ends
we consider it,
finding our moments,
good and needing improvement.
And the day of Recovery is done,
ready to be repeated,
one day at a time.

Love

The remedy of all blunders, the cure of blindness, the cure of crime, is love. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Worship"

Paul said: Three things will last forever —
faith, hope, and love —
and the greatest of these is love.Lao Tzu: Being deeply loved by someone
gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply
gives you courage.
Bryant H. McGill: There is no love
without forgiveness,
and there is no forgiveness without love.The Beatles: All you need is love.Paul: Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.John: Beloved,
let us love one another,
for love is from God,
and whoever loves
has been born of God
and knows God.

It's Shame

...if it feels dark and makes us feel bad about being who we are, it’s probably shame. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (pp. 235-236). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Course adherents say if we have any agitation, we are in the clutches of the ego. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course (Kindle Locations 2597-2598). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The literature of Recovery
is replete with "shame" and "ashamed."
That's because the life stories
of Recovering people teem with shame:
a painful feeling of humiliation
or distress caused
by the consciousness of wrong
or foolish behavior.
It dominates our histories
and tales of Before.
We discuss it in all Twelve Steps
and it lingers through years in the Rooms.
When discomfort riddles your day,
consider the probability the culprit is shame.
Shame well deserved can be dealt with
in Steps Four, Five, Six, Seven,
Eight, Nine and Ten.
But does your shame arise
from talking about feelings, making choices,
taking care of ourselves, having fun,
being successful, or feeling good about ourselves?
That's shame undeserved. Forgive yourself,
accept your right to Recovery,
and choose joy, serenity, and peace!

The Discipline of Thanksgiving

..walk in the Light with Me by practicing the discipline of Thanksgiving. ~ Jesus Calling, April 6

Collins English Dictionary states,
"If you refer to an activity or situation as a discipline,
you mean that, in order to be successful in it,
you need to behave in a strictly controlled way
and obey particular rules or standards."
Practicing the discipline of Thanksgiving?
Behaving in s strictly controlled way
of being thankful. Being like Paul who said,
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."
Jesus, speaking in the selection says to walk with him
in the light. Constant awareness of our Higher Power
while remaining grateful for all all things, for all around
results in successfully living  life. Thank God!

 

Better than Myself

I am larger, better than I thought, 

I did not know I held so much goodness.  ~ Walt Whitman, "Song of the Open Road"

What do I think of me
in the depths of my being?
Can it be true I have arthritis
because I have unexpressed anger,
resentment, aggression,
criticism of myself and fear?
Do I agonize over my perceived dearth
of a sense of style, a tendency
to ignore makeup, hair, appearance?
Do I still feel the need for Mother
to instruct me what clothes coordinate?
Do I want someone else to
select the clothes I buy?
If these have been true
can I move past them
and truthfully say,
I am larger, better than I thought,
I did not know I held so much goodness?
God, let it be so!
I would lay aside the pain
and affirm I no longer believe
somehow I deserve pain.

What Is Your Everything?

When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crises  we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t. What was our choice to be? ~ World Service, Alcoholics Anonymous. The Big Book and A Study Guide of the 12 Steps (Kindle Locations 1043-1045). Anonymous Publishing. Kindle Edition.

What is most important in your life?
In Overeaters Anonymous you'll hear,
"Abstinence is the most important
thing in my life without exception."
Really? More important than our children,
our job, our home, car, computer, our integrity?
Yes, because if we don't have abstinence
the rest will fall by the wayside.
Joe and Charlie on the A.A. speakers circuit
would use the Big Book quote above
and if something else seemed to take precedence,
they tagged that as the person's higher Power.
What is most important in YOUR life?
In mine it seems a tie, that abstinence
and the God of my understanding rival each other,
as necessary as an oar on each side of a rowboat,
but truth be told, without surrender to my God,
abstinence will evaporate and disappear.
God either is God to us or he is powerless in our lives,
so, for me, God is not nothing, God is everything.

You Deserve the Best

You do not ask too much of life, but far too little. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (Kindle Locations 17293-17294). Foundation for Inner Peace.

Self-esteem suffered through years of addiction,
as we loathed ourselves for insufficient willpower.
Then we found Recovery and learned
we had a disease and were not inferior beings
and traded in the fundamentally flawed willpower
for Real Power and people began to treat us kindly,
to do the unthinkable and actually love us...
and we found we weren't ogres, loathsome,
flawed...and came to realize we could be loved,
that we could even love ourselves.
Eventually we began to believe we were worthy
of respect, of good stuff, of appreciation.
Finally, being loved, we found dreams coming true
and that we could ask for and receive what we needed,
so eventually when we were told, "You do not ask
too much of life, but far too little,"
we could actually believe it true!

Don't Be Sad

Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” ~ Nehemiah 8:10 (NLT)

As we develop a relationship
with our Higher Power, we find
we no longer must suffer through
many days, looking forward to a few
splendid days resulting from efforts
before returning to humdrum.
No, having surrendered our lives
and our wills to Him, pain and suffering,
even on the worst days, do not prevail.
We can claim serenity, peace, even joy
relying on strength not our own,
and we are comfortable in the bedrock
of the strength of our Lord,
the source of comfort and joy.

Running from Myself

May my Higher Power stop me in my tracks if I am running away from myself. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Location 2206). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Do you scare yourself?
Are you afraid others will see you
and seeing you think you're as worthless
as you believe yourself to be?
Are you appalled people will learn
your worst secrets, your deplorable deeds?
Are you running away from yourself?
Would you if you could?
Don't run away from yourself.
To run is a false peace.
The only way is to stay
in the now, in the you, in the imperfection
Live. Reside in true peace.
Bring you with yourself.
Enjoy the day.

Ironmoe helped with this poem.

Waste of Soul Substance

... a waste of time, a waste of the soul substance which is lavished upon a lie. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 27). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

What pulls you into negativity?
Jealousy? Longing for good times,
past or future but not living this day?
Resentment? Anger? Boredom?
Stressed out? Overbooked?
Is the negativity
a waste of your soul substance?
Is that what you want for this day,
the only day you have?
Change it! Count your blessings.
Notice beauty. Love someone
and receive love in the exchange.
Forgive someone else.
Forgive yourself.
You have no time, no energy
to squander on wasting
your soul substance...
so don't!

Wisdom Is a Shelter

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.
Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?”
For it is not wise to ask such questions.
Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing
and benefits those who see the sun.
Wisdom is a shelter
as money is a shelter,
but the advantage of knowledge is this:
that wisdom preserves the life of its possessor. ~ Ecclesiastes 7:9-13

Doctors? Engineers?
How straight should it be?
Would The Teacher have written this
in the 21st Century?
Maybe today he’d think money
might buy sufficient care
to preserve the possessor’s life.
Did God make crooked stuff?
If God knows as much more as we know
than The Teacher,
who knows?
Just God.

Lord, I’m lacking knowledge and trust.
I probably can’t handle the knowledge,
so if you will, just give me the trust.

Rollins, Barbara B..
A Time for Verse - Poetic Ponderings
on Ecclesiastes
(Kindle Locations 507-524).
Eagle Wings Press imprint
of Silver Boomer Books. Kindle Edition.

To Validate Yourself

...sometimes, it’s not about changing what you believe. It’s an opportunity for you to validate yourself and your beliefs. ~ Beattie, Melody. More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 242). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Recovery facilitates our evolution,
our becoming, our changing who we are
from to who we wish to be.
We have a roadmap called the Steps,
a guide called the God of our understanding
and we have become accustomed to change.
Sometimes, though, what feels like change
is really a check-up, a reality scrutiny perhaps.
Validation of someone else involves
expressing understanding and acceptance,
offering understanding and affirmation.
Most of us in Recovery need understanding
and affirmation as we make changes,
and it's neat from someone else
but welcome when we come to see
that our thoughts and feelings are justified.
It's good to have an opportunity
to validate ourselves and our beliefs!

Claiming Serenity

Letting another’s behavior, no matter how petty, disturb our inner peace means we aren’t in control of ourselves. But we can be. ~ Casey, Karen. Keepers of The Wisdom Daily Meditations: Reflections From Lives Well Lived (Kindle Locations 3012-3013). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

We claim our anger, our harried,
our bored, our hostility,
our vexation. We can let other people
or our circumstances reign supreme
and be negative for hours, days,
as long as we hold the indignation close.
But if we choose not to claim it.
we can hold on to peace, tranquility,
love and grace by changing ourselves
which is the only change we have...
or need, and live serenity.
Thank God!

Words, Words, Words

Don’t get stuck on the level of words. A word is no more than a means to an end. It’s an abstraction. Not unlike a signpost, it points beyond itself. ~ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (p. 108). New World Library. Kindle Edition.

"Never do I ever want to hear another word
There isn't one, I haven't heard" (Chet Baker)
Is the word God a hangup? Or prayer, surrender,
disease  (as applied to compulsive food behaviors?)
Okay, fine. Don't get stuck on the level of words.
Choose one that feels neutral. I met someone once
who used "Howard" and explained it as coming from
"Howard be Thy name." The chair you're sitting in
holds you up, is a power greater than you.
Borrow a god from your sponsor.
Pray to the ocean or the wind.
Don’t get stuck on the level of words.

God Will Provide

It is not a question of whether God can provide a shelter from the storm, but of whether or not you seek the security of that shelter. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 114). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Many of us came into Recovery's rooms
with a solid background in our faith.
But with that part of our lives causing misery
we'd not been able to look to God for relief.
As we grow in Recovery surrendering
our addiction turned the corner
of trust in the God of our Understanding grew.
But understanding control in that part
often failed to reach our thoughts
in the rest of our lives. But staying the course
through the years leads us to understand
the limits are ours, that God stands ready
to meet our needs in every way.
God doesn't butt in but every call
will be answered. God will provide
if we have a grain of faith,
the courage to seek His help.

Confidence Needed Here

Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart. ~ Ecclesiastes 7:7 (King James Version)

Mad as Hell.
Not going to take it any more.
Cruel, unjust treatment,
oppression.
You don’t have to
treat me like this, God!
I resent it.
I resent life.
I resent you.
What brought me here?
What happened?
I had everything I wanted.
I could be somebody!
The oughts, the shoulds, the talent —
they got in the way,
destroyed me.
It’s not the gifts you gave,
it’s my insecurity
in my ability to use them
that destroyed my heart.

God, thanks for the gifts.
Give me confidence
you’ll use them – and me.

 

Rollins, Barbara B.. A Time for Verse -
Poetic Ponderings on Ecclesiastes
(Kindle Locations 491-501).
 Eagle Wings Press imprint of
 Silver Boomer Books. Kindle Edition.

I Sit, Content

“I exist as I am, that is enough, if no other in the world be aware I sit content, and if each and all be aware I sit content.” ~ Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Serenity is our life, blessed
by turning our lives, or wills
over to God as we understand God.
We understand we at Long last
are good enough, are acceptable,
meet the test, the amazing fact being
that there IS no test!
And we are content under the scrutiny
of the whole world to the sane extent
As we are content sitting alone,
the living beings in our presence
being insects, a slug, two snails
and birds flying past.
And we sit content, serene, with our God.

From All the Common Strings

But the lover's power is the poet's power. He can make love from all the common strings with which this world is strung. ~ Amelia Barr

Making love using
"all the common string
with which the works is strung,"
What holds the world together?
Friendship, family, chance encounters...
hearing news that folks are suffering,
unknown to us but a part of it all...
Animals, pets or wild, part of our lives
for the moment in time,
children playing at the park
under watchful eyes, friends
by the time they climb a slide,
babies waiting noisily, shy teens
aware of others, ready to know them
but afraid to speak...
ordinary people making love
from all the common strings
with which this world is strung.

Look Backward and Forward Without Staring

Ours is a program of one day at a time.
We remember yesterday. being powerless
unable to manage our lives. But we don't stare
at the past even while sharing how it was.
We know tomorrow will come, we note it
on our calendars. But we don't stare at it,
imagining accomplishments, relationships,
financial security, dreams come to fruition.
We live wholly in today, knowing that is enough,
that we can be who we choose this day
and only this day, and a glance back
or a peek at the future is enough
but that today is the only day we have,
a day to be lived in the presence and guidance
of a Power greater than we.

God Gifts

Receive the thanks of God today, as you give thanks to Him. For He would offer you the thanks you give, since He receives your gifts in loving gratitude, and gives them back a thousand and a hundred thousand more than they were given. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (Kindle Locations 16950-16952). Foundation for Inner Peace.

Give, and it will be given to you.
A good measure, pressed down,
shaken together and running over,
will be poured into your lap.
For with the measure you use,
it will be measured to you. Luke 6:28
God is grateful for our gratitude
expressed to Him? It follows, of course,
but who would expect it, identify it,
understand it was happening?
What a blessing as we name blessings
received, to count them then find
they have been multiplied
a thousand times greater
blessing us more but also
pouring over to each being we encounter
spreading favor, protection and grace
lavishly to the denizens of the world!

The Power of Gratitude

 When we’re learning to speak the language of letting go, however, we learn to say thanks for everything in our lives, whether we feel grateful or not. That’s how we turn things around. ~ Beattie, Melody. More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 236). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
An attitude of gratitude,
do you have one?
There are no requisites...
like something for which
you feel grateful. "HOW?"
you may ask. Thank God.
For what, you wonder?
For what you have,
pathetic as it may be.
Thank God for what you have
in the spirit of "Act as if."
Do it often, daily, consistently.
Then wait for the miracles
as your situation changes,
as what you desire begins to appear.
Then again,  Thank God.
For what, you wonder?
For what you have,
whatever it may be.
Thank God for what you have
in the spirit of "Act as if."
Do it often, daily, consistently.
Then wait for the miracles
as your situation changes,
as what you desire begins to appear
again, and again and again!