Courage

All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself the coward abandoned first. After this all other betrayals come easily. ~ C McCarthy

When cowardice controls me, fear taking over,
being in charge, the cowardice is an entity,
more than emotion, greater than angst,
terror personified, separate, detached,
free-standing. Picking it up, lugging it with me
is furtherest from my mind. I want to flee,
abandon it, distance myself, disown it...
like a fart that came from me but no one should know...
I walk away abandoning the essence of me,
From that point leaving a food plan, meetings,
the Steps, a Higher Power I seem not
ti understand at all.

It need not happen. If I seek courage,
treasure it when I receive it, hold on to it,
I can keep all else that matters to me...
everything that matters.