Working into Recovery

I walked into the room and found a bandof friends and it seemed to my logic
that this was a group, a cohesive pack
with no room for me, no way into the web
nor would I want to be part of the froth,
no way to escape my addiction clean.

But they welcomed me, promised cleanthat I became part of their band
when I wanted real healing, not froth
and they understood my newcomer's logic
and what had seemed the trap of a web
could become the luggage I needed to pack.

And I found I was ready to start to pack,
that I really believed this was a way to come clean
from my addiction, to free myself from the web,
to put my past, my fears my failures in a band
that would be over not a burden to current logic
and commitment, that it and worries to come would be froth.

I believed, trusted them, but somehow the froth
haunted me, refused to let go, would not vacate my pack
despite my listening learning using new ruled, not logic
from the past. Sometimes though there were  clean
moments, times I felt a part of the Recovery band
but others when nothing seemed changed, stuck in the web.

Instant Recovery didn’t happen for me but the web
lost it’s power bit by bit and recovery began to froth,
to grow bubble by bubble and they began to band
together, to make sense, to change my attitude, to pack
into each day a sense of serenity, sanity, clean
living free of the my need to control life by logic.

It didn’t seem my life was free from order, from logic
but that I didn’t control the logic, that a powerful web
made decisions as i surrendered to the power, clean
and completely, my efforts aligned, contributing a froth
that worked , coordinated with the universe, a pact
of peace, hope, joy, finally including me as part of the band.

I now belong, a clean and free part of creation’s logic,
and joining the chorus with the band, I’m woven in the  web
of Recovery with the froth of serenity creating my pack.