What Ignoring You Means

You say I ignore you, but you're wrong.
The word means "refuse to take notice of
or acknowledge; disregard intentionally."
There's also, "set aside, pay no attention to,
take no account of." You seem to believe
when you say something and I answer,
do what seems logical to me, and am wrong
that I've ignored you. No, I've acted independently.
When I choose to go out, to attend a meeting,
have coffee with someone, go to the gym
my not being present to do what you need
is ignoring you. No, it's trusting you
to meet your own needs when I'm not there.
You act as if when you tell me you need something —
you haven't seen it for a year or so, but want it now —
and I can't find it, your needs don't matter to me.
But they do. I look, even when I don't remember it,
when I've never touched it, when I don't know
where to start, I care. I just didn't find it
and see no purpose in looking longer.
When I'm ready to leave the house and you ask
me to heat a snack, to check the mail, to walk the dog
before I go, if I show irritation I'm ignoring your wishes,
don't care about you. But I do, I just don't like the habit.
When I don't hear you I'm not listening
but when I speak, you hear, and you don't acknowledge it
I should know the difference between that
and your not hearing what I said. I don't always.
Though strikingly often I do know the difference.
When I do what's best for me, for my mental health,
for my spiritual growth I'm not ignoring you.
When I set aside my proclivity to function
as a codependent to you, I'm not ignoring you —
I'm fighting the pattern destructive to us both.
When I practice what I'm told that what you think of me
is none of my business, it's so very tough, but it's not
ignoring you. When I want to be the best person I can be,
when I want for you a meaningful and enjoyable life,
when I try to perceive and follow a higher power
above both you and me, believe me, I'm not ignoring you.
I'm just not ignoring me anymore.