Enough Dying Today

Just existing makes dying look easy.
But maybe tomorrow. I've done enough dying today. (The Gatlin Brothers)

I've died enough for a lifetime,
have hurt, agonized, cried.
I've murdered my self,
on a people-pleasing altar,
dived head-first from a cliff
for somebody nodded that way.

I've done enough dying today
ignoring the time I did have,
looking backward or forward
to phantom, illusive times,
living then, avoiding now.

Living scared me to inverse,
anything but feeling and love.
I'm ready to try something different,
to live in the moment today.
I'd like to experience emotion —
I've done enough dying today.