Thanks Be to God

(After Psalm 136)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Give thanks for leading us to Recovery.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Give thanks for the bottom, for powerlessness.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Give thanks for our finding life unmanageable.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Give thanks for our realizing You might fix things.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for the courage to turn our lives over to You.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for the courage to turn our wills over to You.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for doing with us and building with us.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for relieving us of the bondage of self.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for making it so we can better do Thy will.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for taking away our difficulties.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for making it possible that our victories help others.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for showing others your power, your love, your way.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for showing us our part in forming resentments.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for our understanding the pattern of our lives.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for the courage to admit our faults to You.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for the courage to admit our faults to ourselves.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.
Thanks for the courage to admit our faults to another person.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for making us willing to release character defects.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for taking defects that caused you or others problems.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for showing us how to make amends.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for the courage to make amends.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for the courage to make amends we didn't want to make.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for daily awareness when we fall short.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for understanding Your will for us.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for showing us how to let You do it.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for courage to do it Your way.
Thanks for the spiritual awakening as we complete the Steps.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for letting us carry this message.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for leading us to to practice these principles.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Thanks for the understanding they work in all our affairs.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
Thanks be to the God of our understanding.

Win through Surrender

Overcome not by force, overcome by surrender. The battle is fought, and won, inside ourselves. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 169). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The war is fought and won inside us.
We can change nothing but ourselves
but that is sufficient. When we pray
the Serenity Prayer we realize accepting
what we cannot change means everything
external to us. Now, when we change us,
others reacting to us are likely to change
themselves. And eventually we can change all.
As we lay aside resentments and mend fences
through amends, the people we once loathed
can serve as the assumed barrier through which
or beyond whom we see our Higher Power
so well all our dreams come true
and we live in peace, in grace, in love.
We overcome by surrender.

Relapse

She knows she knew better,
rues her failure to do better,
regrets her failure
to Keep Coming Back
as well as her neglecting
to return for so long.
She's known the whole time
where to find the answer
but EGO, the Freud kind
as well as the Edging God Out,
but persisted in hoping against hope
she could recapture the magic
without humiliation,
but she cannot
so today is the day
she begins the pilgrimage
back to Recovery.

Love Freely Given

If I give love only to get a response on my terms, my love is canceled out by my motives. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 1467-1468). Hazelden Publishing.

Love is not earned, deserved, required.
Love is the right of every person I encounter.
Reciprocal love is not required.
I believe if a person has really worked
a recovery program, resentments
and jealousy have lost their power
and true love comes easily for family,
friends, coworkers, people encountered
on the street or in passing commercial transactions.
The Golden Rule has become a natural state.
We love our Higher Power with all our hearts,
with all our souls, and with our mind.
If that is true, we love our neighbors
as we love ourself....and perhaps
for the first time in our lives
we actually love ourself!

Gifts of Recovery

...the Al-Anon program....gave me an understanding of this disease, the tools to change my life, the courage to use them, and a place to talk about my secrets and to hear others share theirs. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 2142-2144). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

It's a kit! A Rebuild Your Life kit.
Any Twelve-Step program is.
While I identify with Al-Anon
as to codependency and the urge
to rescue, to change, to set at rights
another person, my own kit
is for compulsive overeaters,
anorexics, bulimics, binge eaters...
and "this disease" for me
is compulsive eating.
And understanding the disease
is a wondrous gift.
Tools to change my life
number nine:  a plan of eating,
sponsorship, meetings,
telephone, writing, literature,
action plan, anonymity and service.
These nine gifts have changed my life
and given me in addition the gift
of courage to use them.
Perhaps the most wondrous gift
is a place to talk about my secrets
and to hear others share theirs,
which brings me full circle
to the ability to understand
the fatal disease of compulsive eating
and the courage to live free of
the compulsion.

As a Sentry Longs for Dawn

I long for the Lord
    more than sentries long for the dawn,    yes, more than sentries long for the dawn. ~ Psalm 130:6 NLT

Staying awake all night is not for me!!
My husband claims I'm sound asleep
before the lightbulb in my side table lamp cools.
I can stay awake a while...for a reason.
But sleep calls. I drove all night once
in January, 1973, the one and only time.
But I can imagine how a sentry longs for dawn.
And I see what the Psalmist meant, longing even more
for God's presence in my life.
I, too, long for the Lord
more than sentries long for the dawn.

How Did We Get Here?

Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain. Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to — alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person — you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain. ~ Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises from the Power of Now (p. 2). New World Library. Kindle Edition.

I am a compulsive overeater.
Did I refuse to face pain
and to move through it?
I'm sure I did, from childhood.
In many ways I'm Grandmom's heir.
She was pudgy, cuddly, soft to lie against.
Maybe a physical trait took me that way,
early in life. I wore the clothes
whose designation meant "overly ample"
from early years. Mother would have
chosen otherwise and urged me
to those choices. Early adulthood
I felt less than by being larger than,
and endless efforts to ditch the "larger"
left me feeling like failure.
I married when I felt destined to spinsterhood.
I moved from chubby to morbidly obese
and failure on failure accrued.
I proved the assertion, every addiction
arises from an unconscious refusal
to face and move through
your own pain. Every addiction
starts with pain and ends with pain.
I used food to cover...and cause...my pain.
I claimed to be dieting from my thirteenth
until my sixtieth but found the answer
in Overeaters Anonymous. The pain is gone,
replaced by serenity and joy.

The Usefulness of Pain

Someone who knew what he was talking about once remarked that pain was the touchstone of all spiritual progress. ~ AA World Services Inc. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (pp. 93-94). AA World Services, Inc. Kindle Edition.

Is it true pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress?
Touchstone: a piece of fine-grained dark schist
or jasper formerly used for testing alloys of gold
by observing the color of the mark that they made on it.
OR a standard or criterion by which
something is judged or recognized.
The he character of Touchstone
in Shakespeare's As You Like It,
is described as "a wise fool
who acts as a kind of guide
or point of reference throughout the play,
putting everyone, including himself,
to the comic test.
So, is PAIN a touchstone of spiritual progress?
If a touchstone is "a fundamental
or quintessential part or feature"
yes, almost all growth or progress
comes by way of pain.
Pain is clearly involved in true growth or progress.

Becoming Light

But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. ~ Ephesians 5:3, New American Standard Bible

My regular reading these days
includes A COURSE IN MIRACLESby Schucman published in 1979,
THE POWER OF NOW by Tolle
from 1997, the website ABRAHAM-HICKS.COMwith writings since 1988, and Emmet Fox's
FIND AND USE YOUR INNER POWERfrom 1941. I've yet to read the Seth Material
or Edgar Cayce and have barely begun Myes'
ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT.
I've known four women I believe to be gifted
in the wisdom common to these works.
And would St. Paul be another?
I'm finding common messages everywhere.

God, open my heart to find you
and your will no matter how unconventional...
or how traditional...the messenger.
Let me understand that
"all things become visible
when they are exposed by the light,
for everything that becomes visible is light."

Act as Guided, Today.

Breathe deeply. Get peaceful. Trust. Act as guided, today. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 162). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

What does guided look like?
It's better than a GPS, I think.
I can still get lost with those.
It's better than, "Follow me."
I tried that once, following one son
while the other came behind...
including when I mistook the car,
trailing the wrong one...
Guided is more like the guide in Europe
who carried an umbrella, unique,
unmistakable. Guided is, "Hold my hand
and we'll get there together."
Breathe deeply. Get peaceful.
Trust. Act as guided, today.

Watch the Guideposts

We venture on a strange new path
having learned we are incapable
of navigating, our earlier efforts
all having ended in abject failure.
We are no longer in charge
but trusting a Higher Power
is unfamiliar, the direction often fuzzy,
the communication unclear.
But we know the feeling
of finding ourselves lost,
at a dangerous turn.
We can recognize an up-oh!
Then we know to try a new path.
If we learn to take direction
from our Higher Power
by turning around then
that mistake is a guidepost
and has educated us,
sensitized us to the guidance we seek.

Enjoyment of Just Being

This is not a program of searching after facts, but of looking within, attending to my spiritual needs. It is my spirituality which nurtures all that is uniquely me. The twelve steps open my heart, free my mind and release my God-given potential for the peaceful enjoyment of just being. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. For Today (Kindle Locations 1555-1558).

We come for the weight and eating issues.
And they improve, so the disease eases, succumbs.
We come in understanding the powerless over food,
even the unmanageable life. So, the First Step is fine.
Soon, though, we reach the Second and Third.
Spiritual? Either we knew we understood that
or prepared to "act as if" through the nonsense.
It turns out, though, the weight, the eating, the disease
matter not a bit. Control over them comes,
but it's a collateral asset, even in our minds
when we come to understand
the God of our understanding.
We turn from the poor excuse for nourishment
that food was for us to spirituality nourishing us,
making us uniquely us. The twelve steps
open our hearts, free our minds
and release our God-given potential
for the peaceful enjoyment of just being.

Don't Resent

Don’t Resent. If wrong has been done, the Great Law will surely take care of it. Rise up in consciousness and set both yourself and the delinquent free. Forgiveness is the strongest medicine. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 1). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

Resentment: "bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly."
This is honestly the first definition Google delivered!
Wikipedia pontificates, "Resentment is a mixture
of disappointment, anger and fear.
It comprises the three basic emotions
of disgust, sadness and surprise—
the perception of injustice.
Why would we EVER entertain resentment?
How do you keep from entertaining resentments?
We should go through a thorough Fourth Step
as well as daily Tenth Steps.
Emmet Fox influenced the nascent Alcoholics Anonymous.
His solution?
Rise up in consciousness and
set both yourself and the delinquent free.
Forgiveness is the strongest medicine.
Don't Resent. Set yourself
and the person you seem to resent free.
Forgiveness is the strongest medicine.
Don't Resent.

Come with Me

Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you from us, so that you may have zeal for them. ~ Galatians 4:17 New International Version (NIV)
I pushed a drink across the table. He refused it. Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got into the fellow. He wasn't himself. 
"Come, what's all this about?" I queried. He looked straight at me. Simply, but smilingly, he said, "I've got religion." ~ Alcoholics Anonymous. page 9.

We are a program of of attraction,
not promotion. We offer you what we have,
and welcome you sincerely
if you decide you're one of us.
But if you don't want what we have
it's your decision.
We don't recruit to increase our numbers
or to put a notch in our belt.
We have found peace and fulfillment
and believe you can as well.
We believe you're likely to come back
when you're ready.
If you belong here
I'll do all I can to help,
mot as an expert
but as a fellow traveler.

God, give me the help
to communicate the joy
I've found in Recovery
and to offer a helping hand
whenever I can.

It's About Me

No matter who we find ourselves relating to, and what we discover happening in the relationship, the issue is still about us, and not about the other person. That is the heart, the hope, and the power of recovery. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 118). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The heart, the hope, the power of Recovery.
Before Recovery it wasn't our fault!
It was what happened to us,
mistreatment to which we were subjected,
bad karma, people out to get us,
circumstances. But we found OA
and found out we weren't in control,
turned our lives and our wills over
to a Power greater than we,
and paradoxically found our responsibility.
We learned who we were...honestly this time...
and accepted it. We found good inside us,
what a surprise! And we found what happened to us
happened to us, that no bully caused it.
We quit blaming God and asked
to be shown our part and to learn the lesson
being offered. And we changed
the person we could change...
the ONLY person we could change!

Peace

Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice. ~ Baruch Spinoza

Peace for an individual
is not an absence of war
or animosity, feuding, enmity.
Instead it is in the manner
of Lincoln as the Civil War
neared an end.
"With malice toward none,
with charity for all,
with firmness in the right
as God gives us to see the right."
Peace is acting as our Higher Power
moves us, loving each person,
those of whom we always thought fondly
and those with staring rolls
as we wrote our Fourth Step.
Peace is a virtue residing in our hearts
without fail.

Real Humility

...there’s a big difference between humility and discounting ourselves. ~Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 154). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
In OA we learned that low self-esteem was not at all the same as humility. In fact, a poor self-image keeps us in bondage to self and thus makes it impossible for us to find true humility. ~ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition (Kindle Locations 661-662). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.

Even a dictionary denigrates humility:
"a modest or low view of one's own
importance; humbleness," with synonyms of
modesty, meekness, diffidence,
unassertiveness, lack of pride,
lack of vanity; servility,
submissiveness. Instead,
humility is the remedy for our old thinking
that we were either above or below
everyone else. As  we find we are not unique
we find a right concept of self.

The Peace of Wild Things

I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief... For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. ~ Wendell Berry

Wild animals have plenty of danger,
abundant things beyond their control
that could go wrong, and live in the extremes
of weather, of time, of predators.
Yet there is a peace of the wild things
we're likely to misunderstand,
no matter how obvious it appears
as we watch them. We cannot understand
the peace of the wild things...
until we mind it not with our minds,
not by study of their behavior, not by
becoming like them.
We find the peace of the wild things
only by surrender of all concerns
to the God of our understanding.
And when we do, we have peace
through problems, through obstacles,
through turmoil, but only because
like the wild things we sense
the supportive hand of God
and his grace, his unmerited favor,
his pure and awesome love.

Prayer

...prayer is the linking up of the soul and mind to God. So, if prayer is only a glance of faith, a look or a word of love, or just a feeling of confidence in the goodness and purpose in the universe... ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 80). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Teach me to pray,
I've pled through the years.
I'm learning, and I, too,
am finding that prayer
can simply be, "a glance of faith,
a look or a word of love,
or just a feeling of confidence
in the goodness
and purpose in the universe."
My prayer has been answered.
I've learned to pray!

I Can Feel the Presence

Did you sing around a campfire
in your youth, songs like "Kumbaya,"
"Peace Like a River," "This Little Light of Mine," and
"There's a sweet, sweet Spirit in this place,
And I know that it's the Spirit of the Lord..."
Did you see expressions of awe...for the group,
for the songs, for an unseen presence?
Did you feel the presence of the Lord
whether you would usually acknowledge it or not?
Do you feel the Presence of the Lord now?
Or is it tough in Recovery, grown up and alone
and looking at Step Eleven?
Can you create a virtual...or a real...campfire?
Use the resources you have.
What do you find on Youtube
when you enter "Christian campfire songs?"
Go camping with kids and plan campfire singing.
Sit on your patio and sing to the squirrels.
Find your Higher Power's presence.
Reward yourself as you renew your life!

How Do You See the World?

“We don’t see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.” ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 1914-1915). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

We create our own world.
If we focus on tumultuous feelings,
the world is a miserable place.
If we have surrendered
to a power greater than we are,
if we have sought and found serenity,
gratitude, peace, and love
we have found or are on the edge of
a life of oneness with God,
of abilities to improve our lives
and those around us, a life
truly beyond our wildest dreams!

Knowing What We Are

Through our commitment to anonymity we can put aside what we are and begin to know who we are. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 290-292). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

I was my parents' daughter,
my sisters' sister. My grandfathers
were known in a wide swath
of my denomination, so I claimed them
when it might help. I was honored in school
and basked in it, proud the small-town paper
considered it news. The pattern continued
in two colleges and a university.
"Look at me...no, not AT me. not at the girth."
Honorable professions continued to provide a platform.
Because I despised me, you had to know the admirable.
Finally, at sixty I found Overeaters Anonymous
and through our commitment to anonymity
I can put aside what I am and begin to know who I am.
But six years later as I prepared to speak
before O.A. members from seven states
my sponsor said not to say I had writings published
or the prestigious title I was called at work.
I managed to do it, still not understanding
how unimportant credentials were.
But finally I'm learning through our commitment
to anonymity I can put aside what I am
and begin to know who I am.

She Is a Rock

She is the rock,
the cornerstone of my Recovery.
She is a rock who cannot be
set aside, ignored.
When I call her she knows,
refuses to accept "okay"
or "just fine" as an answer
to questions. Through the years
she's figured out when my answers
are intentionally vague
and quizzes me to unearth
what I'd as soon remained obscure.
She is the rock to which
my Recovery is tied,
an anchor sure and true.
A phone call at 8:45 each Monday
holds my course strong and true
for the next seven day,
one day at a time.

Often I Wished I Had Her Body

My older sister was tall and thin,
could reach top shelves flat-footed,
fit clothes from the rack,
provided they covered her knees.
I lacked inches in height,
had excess in girth, wore "chubby"
then, in an allegedly "kinder gentler"
age, "plus sizes" and later odd-numbered 
pieces. While I climbed up to size 28,
my sister in crisis years at 5'9"
weighed less than a hundred pounds.
Grass is greener elsewhere,
or so it seems, but we both found
answers for our needs.
Married to two alcoholics, one active,
the other dry, she found Al-Anon
to meet her needs and the same twelve steps
pulled me into Overeaters Anonymous.
Her struggle was no easier than mine,
nor mine than hers. But Recovery waits
for all fortunate enough to find the groups
that meet our needs.

The Way to Love

“I want the loved person to grow and unfold for his own sake, and in his own ways, and not for the purpose of serving me.” ~ Erich Fromm

Codependent. Excessive emotional
or psychological reliance on a partner,
typically a partner who requires support
due to an illness or addiction.
How can I be of service? How can I help?
Can I relieve your burdens? I don't want you
to be unhappy, to feel like I put myself
ahead of you. You seem so miserable,
like nothing can make you happy.
Shall I wait on you, be your butler,
your valet, your waitress, your laundress?
You may think you want all that...
but it's neither what I need to do
nor actually how you would like you or me to be.
I promise to love you, to want the best for you
but to respect you...and me...enough
to let you be the best that you can be.

Ready for Your Suddenly

Be ready for your suddenly. ~ Good Morning America, May 24, 2018

...the broker [Bill W] had been relieved
of his drink obsession
by a sudden spiritual experience...
...the very same person
who seemed doomed,
who had so many problems
he despaired of ever solving them,
suddenly finds himself easily
able to control his desire for alcohol,
the only effort necessary being
that required to follow a few simple rules...
...suddenly taken from the scrap heap
to a level of life better than the best
he had ever known!
God comes to most men gradually,
but His impact on me was sudden
and profound.The Big Book is replete with sudden-lies.
It also says not every person has
their suddenly. I didn't for years
but my suddenly caught up with me
after years in recovery. Has yours found you?
If not, use the tools and wait for yours.
Be ready for your suddenly.

I Will Thank God

As I learn your righteous regulations,    I will thank you by living as I should!I will obey your decrees.    Please don’t give up on me! ~ Psalm 119:7-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

Rules to follow,
always there
these twenty-five hundred years
or so...not that I knew
they were there, the
"righteous regulations,"
but finding them now
I can buy into the commitment.
As I learn your righteous regulations,I will thank you by living as I should!I will obey your decrees.Please don’t give up on me!Not my will but Yours be done.

Quivering not Necessary

These Steps help me to trust that, although the ground on which I stand may quiver, I will not fall, for I am held firmly by One whose will is not so easily overturned. Regardless of how shaky I may feel, I am safe. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 1861-1863). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

Safe. When have we felt safe?
The world is not safe. It feels insane.
On our own resources
we sense the world's quiver.
But there is safety
in a Power greater than we,
in eternal unshakable reality.
Wrapped in security, immovable.

God's Gifts

For if the inheritance could be received by keeping the law, then it would not be the result of accepting God’s promise. But God graciously gave it to Abraham as a promise. Galatians 3:18 New Living Translation (NLT)

I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems, as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure. Alcoholics Anonymous. Page 13.

God’s gifts
are promises,
gracious promises
when our earning them
is a ludicrous impossibility.
God is God
an ultimate authority
known in ancient times
as a Suzerain.
God does his part,
works miracles…
our parts we do
in His Power
when we submit to Him.

God, I surrender.
I offer myself to You.
Show me how to help
including how to get out
of your way!

Waiting Reconstructed

I was just standing here enjoying myself — in joy in my self.” ~ Tolle, Eckart. Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises from the Power of Now (p. 2). New World Library.

In joy in myself...
But I am never by myself.
God is within me
and when I set aside
the thoughts my ego created
God's thoughts are the thoughts
I think. Who would not find joy
thinking such empyrean thoughts.
Whenever I choose I can be
just here enjoying myself — in joy in my self.

Saving Righteousness

“So,” you ask, “does the law contradict God’s promise?” Absolutely not! Never was there written a law that could lead to resurrection and life; if there had been, then surely we could have experienced saving righteousness through keeping the law. But we haven’t. ~ Galatians 3:21-29 The Voice 
But my friend sat before me, and he made the point blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known!  ~ Alcoholics Anonymous. Page 11

What does it matter
what advertisements proclaim?
The before and after pictures,
the weight loss in hundreds
of pounds?
The guarantee of "this much"
lost in "this many" days?
Haven't we tried them all?
Can't we list our attempts...
most weigh-and-pay organizations
you could name, diet pills,
Carb blockers, Amphetamines,
metal pins at an acupuncture point on the ear,
internet programs, diets in magazines,
counting calories, counting carbs,
counseling for years, hypnotism, fasting.
motivational tapes,
New Year’s resolutions...
We just can't!!!

God, you can.
Could we have
some saving righteousness?

God's Promise

For if the inheritance could be received by keeping the law, then it would not be the result of accepting God’s promise. But God graciously gave it to Abraham as a promise. Galatians 3:18 New Living Translation (NLT)

I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems, as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure. Alcoholics Anonymous. Page 13.

God's gifts
are promises,
gracious promises
when our earning them
is a ludicrous impossibility.
God is God
an ultimate authority
known in ancient times
as a Suzerain.
God does his part,
works miracles...
our parts we do
in His Power
when we submit to Him.

God, I surrender.
I offer myself to You.
Show me how to help
including how to get out
of your way!

Promises Kept

This is what I am trying to say: The agreement God made with Abraham could not be canceled 430 years later when God gave the law to Moses. God would be breaking his promise. Galatians 3:17 New Living Translation (NLT)

I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could not take so much as one drink. I was through forever. Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business. And so I did. Shortly afterward I came home drunk. There had been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? Alcoholics Anonymous page 5

Promises broken.
To be expected of humans
addicted, dependent,
powerless over
substances,
behaviors, compulsion—
living unmanageable lives.
But God?
Not acceptable.
God keeps promises,
lives honoring agreements…
honorable without outside parties.
God keeps his word
and we once far from honorable
can keep our word as well.
Not on out merit, though.
God goes us merit
like his
when we just ask
for his guidance.

God, we’re asking.
Make us able to
keep our word.

Charity

...the real meaning of the word charity is to care enough about other people to really want to help them. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 65). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Charity is not a monetary donation...
well, of course that helps, but charity?
The meaning began as  "Christian love
in its highest manifestation."
Charity is closer to agape love
than to dropping in the offering plate.
Hands should be soiled, personal contact made,
hearts involved, kindness and understanding
towards others, our gift, a representation
of God's love of man, man's love of God,
or man's love of his fellow-men.
God, grant that I come to care
about my fellows, to give not just value
but concern  and feeling, a sharing
of the pain as well as empathy
in the relief.

Forgiveness

God does not forgive because He has never condemned. And there must be condemnation before forgiveness is necessary. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (Kindle Location 15043). Foundation for Inner Peace.

I've done enough condemning me
to last a lifetime...and that was true
fifty years ago. But it was all my doing.
God had no part in condemning me.
He spent no time forgiving me.
He had no time or need to forgive me.
Instead he hovered around me...
inside when I allowed it, loving me...
loving me...loving me...loving me...
LOVIMG ME! God loves me enough
that I can love myself.

Learning How the Wild Things Are Blessed

Blessed are all birds and animals, the wildest beasts, and, yes, all serpents, too, for they live in nature, in a state of natural grace. They live beyond the rules of evil and good. ~ Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families (Hazelden Meditation Series) (Kindle Locations 1047-1056). 

Wild things put their needs
ahead of their fellows,
feel no need to see to
the happiness of fellow wild things.
Wild things eat what they need now,
may save for later needs but
stop at enough.
Wild things protect themselves
and their young, warn of danger
but take no responsibility for
care-taking.
Wild things have no need for worry,
only for the next right thing.
Wild things deal with today,
not with yesterday or tomorrow.
Wild things are not embarrassed
to accept what is offered.
Wild things are not afraid
to be happy, to frolic,
to sing!

Sufficient for the Day

If my courage is renewed each day and I know that I need just a day’s worth, that courage will always be fresh and the supply will not run out. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 1285-1286). Hazelden Publishing.

Have courage!
It's not something most of us had
abundantly when we relied on
food, alcohol, drugs, sex, others
for sufficient gumption to live.
Often it was missing completely
and we relied on bravado instead.
Now, though, we rely not on luck
or chance or on our inherent right,
but we rely on a Power greater than we
and one day at a time receive all our needs,
serenity to accept what we can't change,
courage to change what we can,
and wisdom to sort things out.
Fortunately our Higher Power
has the wisdom to dole out the courage
sufficient for the day but not enough more
to trigger our old bravado!

The Cure for All

The cure for all the ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows, and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word "love." It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life. ~ Lydia M. Child

Love is the magic potion,
the miracle cure,
the ultimate answer,
the glue that holds all together...
Love is peace,
Martin Luther King, Jr. saud,
"Love is the only force capable
of transforming an enemy into a friend."
Love is the beauty of a soul.
Love is all you need.
Love is unconditional.
Love is all we have,
the only way that each can help the other.
Love is eternal.
Love is God. God is love.
Love is the cure
for all the ills and wrongs,
the cares, the sorrows,
and the crimes of humanity.
Love produces and restores life.

The Anonymity Wave

Remember what we say
each time a meeting ends.
"Please remember
our commitment
to honor each other’s
anonymity.
‘What you hear here,
whom you see here,
when you leave here,
let it stay here.’"
To which we respond,
"Hear, hear!"
So what do we do in a group
of non-Recovery people?
One-on-one it's no problem
away from  listening ears.
You have the right to tell
anyone you see, saying
you're in a named fellowship
but you have no such liberty
as to the other.
Sometimes we explain
knowing each other
with, "We have mutual friends."
But if you see what might be asked,
just try an anonymous wave.

How Foolish!

How foolish can you be? After starting your new lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? (Galatians 3:3)

Thus started one more journey to the asylum for Jim. Here was the threat of commitment, the loss of family and position, to say nothing of that intense mental and physical suffering which drinking always caused him. He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!

How foolish can we be?
Foolish enough to fool ourselves
when we know
without a doubt
when we did our best
for years upon years
we fell on our faces
before
and nothing has changed
if nothing has changed
and when we play god
we end up
face down,
for nothing has changed.

God, we knew what we did
when we turned our lives over
and, truth be told
we still know.
Forgive our foolishness
and help us let go
when we surrender
this time.

When Words Can't Reach Us

I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? (Galatians 3:2 NIV)

If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss of the Universal, and he certainly had me. But my friend sat before me, and he made the point blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known! Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had not. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at that minute; and this was none at all. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 11)

“Words, words, words,
I so sick of words!”
We knew when we got to Recovery
all the words we needed.
Perhaps we had heard those very words
but this time they came
wrapped in evidence
sufficient yo convince
our jury of one.
We came, powerless
over our insanity,
our whole lives unmanageable.
But our kindred spirits
had something worth having…
hope!

Thank you, God, for showing us
Recovery, for knowing
words could not hold our hearts.

Patterns

All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I had been eager to do all along. (Galatians 2:10 NIV)

Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 84)

Keep on keeping on.
Do good, do the next right thing.
Repeat.
Repeat again.
Habits are made of repetition,
patterns are woven of row upon row
of same same.
Tradition is habits and patterns passed,
spread, adopted as norm, as right.
Yet practices change, customs evolve
and right can morph to wrong
unnoticed, undeterred.
Continue
persist
carry on
consciously, intentionally,
holding on to good,
to the next right thing.

God, I can carry on
one hour,
one day,
diligent in doing what I know is right.
Make it true, Lord,
make it true.

We, the Rescued

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for our sins so that He might rescue us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forevermore. Amen. (Galatians. 1:3-5 NASV)

We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain's table. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 17)

Rescued, saved, liberated
from an evil age, from peril
drowning us, engulfing us,
shutting off air and hope.
Rescued from myself,
my obsessions, my fears,
my stuffing down hurt,
my anger at others
for what only I could change.
Grace and peace to us
who, rescued, can now see
the beauty, goodness, joy
all around.
Joyousness and camaraderie
to me who knew no joy,
who felt all alone,
isolated
among a cloud of folks
who loved me.

Thanks – an inadequate trinket
of a word —
for all your gifts and love.

  

Waiting

There is almost no work in life so hard as waiting. And yet God wants me to wait. All motion is more easy than calm waiting, and yet I must wait until God shows me His will. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 25). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Wait foe it...wait for it...wait for it...
If it isn't stand-up comedy,
those words in most folk
bring anxiety, anticipation, dread,
a sense of foreboding.
When you pray,  "My Creator.
I'm now willing for you to have all of me,
good and bad.  I pray that You
now remove from me
every single defect of character
which stands in the way
of my usefulness to You and my fellows."
we have essentially said, "when you wish"
but in our hearts we want change,
something different, better!
Waiting is tough. We need patience
which is foreign to us.
God, give me patience
and I want it NOW!!
The last line of the poem
“On His Blindness,” by John Milton,
the poet reflects that he has a place
in God's world despite his disability.
"They also serve who only stand and wait."

Living the Program

The Sea of Galilee is always giving what it receives. It’s always flowing. But the Dead Sea only receives and never gives. ~ Cahn, Jonathan. The Book of Mysteries (p. 73). Charisma House. Kindle Edition.

The Twelfth Step says, "Having had
a spiritual awakening
as the result of these Steps,
we tried to carry this message
to compulsive overeaters
and to practice these principles in all our affairs."
We must live the program
like the Sea of Galilee.
It receives the flow of the Jordan River
but releases it, sending it south
as full of life as it was received.
Some sixty-five miles later
that water, full of life
empties into the Dead Sea.
Instead of passing on the life-filled water
the Dead Sea does not share the life
but hoards it, killing it.
When we have worked the Steps
we must pass on the life we found
or the life we found in Recovery is snuffed out
for others but also for us.

Depend on It

But the strange part of it is that, no matter what drinking did to us, loss of our health, our jobs, our money, and our homes, we still stuck to it and depended on it. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 17). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Why would it be a struggle in Recovery
to learn to depend on our Higher Power?
Did we not all come to these rooms
with a long history of depending
on a different higher power?
Before we got here, we put our addictions
in a place of supreme importance.
We know that now but most of us did not see it then.
What else was more important?
Your fear, your embarrassment?
Your need to be loved?
We all have higher powers
and the early ones remain, at least for a while.
The question is, which is the higher higher power,
what is most important?
If you can say that your spouse,
your child, your dog, your day off,
your vacation, your job, your house...
if anything has greater importance for you
than God as you understand God,
then God is your second, third, eighth or twelfth
higher but YOUR HIGHER POWER!
So, find your higher power and depend on it!

Happy Birthday, Recovery Daily Dose

This is Recovery Daily Dose entry 2,250, daily for seven years, "In Your Face" published May 4, 2011. The poem is the most recent fifty-five titles. 

Shocking!,Who Are You?, The End,
Stay in the Lifeboat, Freedom From Anger,
Finding Your Sponsor,
Lessons from a Gaggle of Geese,
You Decide, Find a God, Accursed,
I Put My Hand in Yours,
The Feed-Them Syndrome,
Higher Wisdom,
Adding Pleasure and Joy,
Who I Want in My Life,
To My Regret. Respectable
Guilty!, My Right!, God As We Understand God,
A Recovery Haiban, Remember Tradition Ten,
Brush Fire, Battle Cry, Positive Results,
Worrying About Food,
A Relationship with My Higher Power,
Murmuration, Keep Coming Back,
Compulsive, Vacation Abstinence,
My Secret, Make a Miracle!,
Peace Be With You, Free Passes
not Available for the Asking
Love Is..., True Generosity,
No One Can Make Me Change,
I Believe, All Power Is the Lord's,
Flack, Instant Inventory,
What We Need to Learn, Feeling Worthy,
Beyond Shame to Celebration,
That Power Which Is God,
Thank God!, Temperance and Abstinence,
Humiliated Like a Stone, Borrowing Trouble,
Dumping Out Stress, It's a Relationship Problem,
Heroes to Emulate, Forgive Them!,
The Good Life.

Shocking!

 I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who called you to himself through the loving mercy of Christ. (Galatians 1:6, NLT)

---

---

Above all, he believed he had acquired such a profound knowledge of the inner workings of his mind and its hidden springs that relapse was unthinkable. Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time. More baffling still, he could give himself no satisfactory explanation for his fall. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 26)

---

---

From the welcoming arms,
the sense of relief,
the portal to recovery,
shouldn't the path lead only in?
How did I manage to turn,
how did I go back out?
So soon, and without
a thought,
without a reason,
abandoning the hope
I'd found...
I know others who never got back,
who let embarrassment win,
whose pride locked the door.
But some, including me,
made a U-turn
and reentered, determined to stay,
knowing how easy
leaving was,
how glorious staying
is.God, give me the sense
to stay put
in recovery.

Who Are You?

I am ready to find out who I am so I can discover who I can be. ~ Dean, Amy E. Morning Light: A Book of Meditations to Begin Your Day (Kindle Location 1599). Hazelden Publishing.

Are you ready to find out who you are?
Do you believe you are able
to discover who you can be?
Retired then re-retired I have the luxury
of reading extensively every day
from seventeen books and scripture
to completely read the bible
in this year. As I read I discover
who I am and who I can be.
The recurring theme is now matters.
Neither the part nor the future
can be changed nor do they matter much.
And what I do for others helps me
as much or more than it does me.
Who are you?Will you take some time today
to find out?

The Seventeen Books

The End

We always knew what the end was,
goal weight, wearing the size dress
that Mother did, fitting into the outfit
that had gone out of size, decades back,
but success was fitting it again,
looking like we wished for the big event...
we would know when we got there...
if ever there was a there there.
But reaching the end was destroyed
as the end game when we came to OA.
There were people in the group
who looked marvelous, really THERE,
but they had come for years
always there, part of the group,
still active, happy, participating,
and gradually it became evident,
they still belonged, not saying,
their name then, "Compulsive
Overeater" but the name and,
"Compulsive Eater in Recovery."
We do not know when the end is,
but one day at a time, this isn't it.