When You Miss the Mark

…the most important part of any attempt is how you respond when you miss the mark. ~ Thompson, Susan Peirce. Bright Line Eating (p. 237). Hay House. Kindle Edition.

A neighbor to my childhood home
started a diet every Monday,
and though it seldom lasted
until bedtime Monday,
the next diet began next Monday.
That was an improvement of course
over all those who started New Years Day
each time it came around.
It’s true, though, the most important part
of any attempt is how you respond
when you miss the mark.
This day begins a string of special days
where eating holds the stage.
You really can address the wrongs
you need to write now. Any it works better!

When We're Right

Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with. ~ Peter Marshall

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.Serenity for changing what we can change,
for accepting what we cannot we can handle.
And knowing the difference we can manage as well
as long as we don’t get cocky and confused
so as to take credit for the magnificence
of the outcomes for what God did for us
that we could not do for ourselves!
We ask you, God, to fill us with love
and gratitude in every part of our lives!
Amen. So be it.

Continuous and Persistent

We’ve resolved to get control of food.
A resolve is a good start but just a start.
If we give in to insanity and actions fall short
eventually we resolve again,
lesson learned. We can resolve again
but good intentions fall short.
We can in desperation admit
we’re powerless over food,
our life has become unmanageable.
But unless we understand
what’s unmanageable
is not only food
but our emotions
and spirit as well
keep throwing us back into the food,
the insanity and we can’t
merely kick the can down the road,
we can’t relax at success,
early or late, but we must surrender
continuous and persistent
change in our essence
is the only resolution
we’ll find  gives us peace.

Transformation

When we experience our own desire for transformation, we are feeling the universe evolving through us. ~ Barbara Marx Hubbard

We certainly want transformation.
At least we did want metamorphosis
when we reached the Rooms of Recovery
powerless over fill-in-your-compulsion
and unable to manage our lives!
And as we looked around,
found we were among our kind of people
and quickly or after a while
we really did begin to feel
the universe evolving through us!

image Copyright : stillfx

Spiritual or Physical?

We “reorder” our lives when we choose spirit over the illusions of physical circumstances. With each choice we make, we either become more involved in the illusory physical world, or we invest energy into the power of spirit. ~ Myss, Caroline. ~ (p. 173). Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.

It’s a choice!
We can choose spirit/Spirit
and call this Higher Power
as our body of faith chooses
or by any name that calls to you.
I knew one person who called his
HP Howard, as in”Howard be Thy name.
But a Higher Power no matter
the nomenclature can manage our lives
the status of our unmanageable
mess when we ruled the roost
and”manage”our life.
With each choice we make,
we either become more involved
in the illusory physical world,
or we invest energy
into the power of spirit.

Like Yourself

 

In truth, if we do not like ourselves, we will be incapable of making healthy decisions. Instead, we will direct all of our personal power for decision-making into the hands of someone else: someone whom we want to impress, or someone before whom we think we must weaken ourselves to gain physical security....
Given your particular body, environment, and beliefs, will you make choices that enhance your spirit or those that drain your power into the physical illusion around you? ~ Myss, Caroline. Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing (p. 169, 170). Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.

And the Second Commandment
is to love your neighbor
as you love yourself.
Do you even LIKE yourself?
Did you like the you who was powerless
over food, over your unmanageable life?
Is there someone else
you allow to make your decisions?
Do you know how to make choices
that enhance your spirit
rather than choices that drain your power
into the physical illusion around you?
Is there anyone directing your life you LIKE?
Okay, lets try again.
Do you like yourself?
Can you?
Can you go a step further and LOVE yourself?
Love your neighbor
as you love yourself.
Commandment 1.5 is to like and love yourself!

Points of Commonality

What about the relationships in which we feel trapped? We can’t switch jobs, perhaps, or move to a new neighborhood. How can we tolerate the seemingly harmful relationships? The Course and our Teachers suggest we seek points of commonality with the people in those troubled relationships. They are there, we’re assured, or they wouldn’t be on our path. ~ Casey, Karen. Daily Meditations for Practicing The Course. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The country…the world…stands at odds.
The populace is OUTRAGED about anything,
everything! Fake news and controversy
as to who has the right to speak of lynchings…
Things accepted of those on the same side
are scandalous when applied to others.
How can we tolerate the seemingly harmful relationships?
Can it be so simple as seeking points of commonality?
In doing so, can we come to understand
the lesson before us? Think of someone
who irritates you. What is the lesson
they’re in your life so you can learn,
so you can grow? The lessons are there,
we’re assured, or they wouldn’t be on our path.

Fat Domino

Try as we might to forget the criticisms, the names, they linger in our memories and influence our self-perceptions as adults. The intervening years have done little to erase whatever emotional scars we acquired as children. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

“Red Rover, Red Rover,
let Fat Domino come over.”
And the nine-year-old me ran,
my eyes so overflowing with tears
and my insecurity so triggered
even the cause of the “chubby”dress size
lacked the heft to break through
the locked hands of these people.
I didn’t know them, denizens of a tiny town,
they’d known each other forever.
I was the newcomer who couldn’t remember names.
I got mad…not at the boy who was trying to include me
but at myself.
“Try as we might to forget the criticisms,
the names, they linger in our memories
and influence our self-perceptions as adults.
The intervening years have done little
to erase whatever emotional scars
we acquired as children.”
Lord, let me finally forgive
that chubby little girl!

netclipart.com

If We Share What We Learn

...if we can share what we have learned, if we can apply it to all areas of our lives, we will have indeed performed the task for which we have been placed on this earth. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Beyond Our Wildest Dreams: A History of Overeaters Anonymous as Seen by the Founder. Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Why do you believe we were placed on earth?
As an individual or as humanity?
Science theory, limited or not
would posit the universe should have
blinked out of existence
an instant after it was first created.
One observation is,
"It's the word 'still' that makes it poignant."
Psychology Today suggests,
"Having a sense of meaning and purpose in life
is usually a positive motivator, at home and at work.
But maybe the questioning itself
is where life's true mission is found."
But seriously, why?
Is it sharing what we have learned?
And God said, Let us make man in our image,
after our likeness: and let them have dominion
over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air...
Does it matter? Let us live love while we're here.

Gratitude Commitment

People who are grateful tend to be happier, healthier and more fulfilled. Being grateful can help people cope with stress and can even have a beneficial effect on heart rate. In tests, people who tried it each night for just one week were happier and less depressed one month, three months and six months later. ~ Thompson, Susan Peirce. Bright Line Eating (p. 179). Hay House. Kindle Edition.

So, I’ve made a commitment
to a daily expression of gratitudes.
I’m glad we’ve done this blog,
Recovery Daily Dose, every single day
since May 4, 2011, three thousand
ninety-two days. because it’s helped us
whether anyone else has benefitted,
but also grateful for those of you
who faithfully read it daily.
And I’m grateful for the new routine
of noting gratitude begun today for the
joy it will bring me in thousands of days to come!

The Song of Prayer

The true solution to our problems, however, always rests in the one Answer that is God’s Love, that is the “real sound” of the song of prayer. ~ Wapnick, Kenneth. Absence from Felicity : The Story of Helen Schucman and Her Scribing of A Course in Miracles, Chapter 17

Do you find yourself in conversations
where it feels you’re responsible,
you carry the load of finding topics,
of suggesting activities, of making
contact when the interim of contact stretches?
To be honest, my own answer
tends to be no.I seldom reach out,
leave that role to another.
But there’s comfort when there’s a starter,
for each person. And even more comfort
when the pivot point is God…
when God’s Love holds the keys,
when we hear the sound of the Song of Prayer.
Amen. So be it.

Communion with God

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Dwell for a moment each day in a secret place, the place of communion with God, apart from the world, and thence receive strength to face the world. Material things cannot intrude upon this secret place, they cannot ever find it, because it is outside the realm of material things. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 135). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The Ninety-First Psalm
attributed by the Midrash
to the authorship of Moses
and the private prayer corner
in the Rooms of Recovery
in the Twenty-first Century…
Three thousand five hundred years…
and the importance of a secret place,
a site for private spiritual retreat
remains unchanged.
Private, apart from the world,
a retreat to receive strength
to face the world.

image Copyright : Antonio Guillem

Do Not Limit God

Any specific question involves a large number of assumptions which inevitably limit the answer. A specific question is actually a decision about the kind of answer that is acceptable. The purpose of words is to limit, and by limiting, to make a vast area of experience more manageable by you.  ~ Wapnick, Kenneth. Absence from Felicity : The Story of Helen Schucman and Her Scribing of A Course in Miracles, Chapter: The Song of Prayer: Special Message

Are you inclined to ask God either/or questions?
What about multiple choice? Does this description
of the process ring true? How do you speak,
ask questions, to other types of people?
To tell a toddler two possibilities only makes sense.
To give a spouse or a friend a set list of options
would likely meet with disdain.
How many times, though,
have you taken your wishes to God
and set out the marching orders,
your expectations? Is that really
offering yourself to God, to use you,
to build with you as your God might choose?
Any specific question involves a large number
of assumptions which inevitably limit the answer.
A specific question is actually a decision
about the kind of answer that is acceptable.
The purpose of words is to limit,
and by limiting, to make a vast area of experience
more manageable by you.God forgive us!

Stubbornness vs. Perseverance

Stubbornness is ego-driven and fear-based. Perseverance is surrender to my Higher Power and is faith-based. ~ Overeaters Anonymous.  Voices of Recovery for April 7

Stubbornness is easy.
We came to these rooms full of it.
Perseverance, however, comes hard.
It takes ego deflation, turning our lives and our wills
over to God as we understand God,
willingness to work toward a goal without others
realizing we’ve done this,
feeling good looking on from the sidelines,
rejoicing that we’ve played a part
and that the result was worth it all.

image Copyright : Claudia Balasoiu

From Believing to Faith

Believing is a choice. Believing is a tentative place. It’s a place to begin, even without convictions. I think the greatest difficulty we have with believing is that we want something with more certainty to start with; we want more assurance. We expect faith before we start, but believing comes first. It is not faith at the beginning; it’s speculation or suspicion, and that’s really all you can expect right then, because believing is the beginning point. ~ McQ, Joe. The Steps We Took (p. 18). August House. Kindle Edition.

As a person feels the existence of God and His power, that person believes in Him more and more. At the same time, a person is more conscious of his falling short of absolute trust in God. The soul’s progress is an increasing belief, then a cry for more faith, a plea to conquer all unbelief, all lack of trust. We can believe that that cry is heard by God and that prayer is answered in due time. And so our faith grows, little by little, day by day. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 133). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Believing comes in early, Step 2.
“Came to believe a that
a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.”
“They” say Step One is the only Step
that can be done completely.
I wrote a poem once
about a modicum of faith.
A modicum of belief is even less
since belief is a stepping stone to faith.
The soul’s progress is an increasing belief,
then a cry for more faith,
a plea to conquer all unbelief,
all lack of trust.Belief, like faith,
can grow from a seed
as tiny as mustard seed.

McQ, Joe. The Steps We Took
(p. 18). August House. Kindle Edition.

What's So Important About Gratitude

Gratitude keeps the negativity out of my mind, at bay.
Radiance in smiles, newfound respect for small miracles.
Admiration for abundant recipients and awareness of random blessings.
Talents God finds in us we never knew were there.
I can find miracles within me and inherent in those around me.
Thank you’s said decorate faces, make them glow.
Usefulness I find in me serving me and my fellows generates gratitude anew.
Dandelions, dogs, daddies, ducks, dandy words that start with D.
Eternal presence, personal to you…The Divine around as well as within!

image Copyright : Kheng Guan Toh

Finding Freedom

Being can be felt as the ever-present I am that is beyond name and form. To feel and thus to know that you are and to abide in that deeply rooted state is enlightenment, is the truth that Jesus says will make you free. ~ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (pp. 107-108). New World Library. Kindle Edition.

Being — the state of living in the moment,
in the now, locked neither in the past
nor in anticipation of the time to come —
Being can be felt as the ever-present I am
that is beyond name and form.It’s the “name” God gave Moses:
“I am who I am“, and “Say this
to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.'”
We, too, as the people of God
are a part of the I am
that is beyond name and form.
and surely it is the truth that as Jesus said
will make us free.

Personal Power

Personal power is as available as our decision to use it. And it is bolstered by all the strength we’ll ever need. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

How do we leap from
“powerless over food,
alcohol, drugs, gambling,
name-your-poison”
to “Personal power is
as available as our decision to use it”?
First you find the power
of a Power greater than yourself,
surrender to and trust that Power
and in trusting, rely on that Power
to bolster you
by all the strength you’ll ever need!

Permission?

In meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts or prayers of spiritually centered people who understand, so that we may experience and learn. ~ AA World Services Inc. As Bill Sees It. A.A. World Services, Inc. Kindle Edition.

I needed this thought!
I know how to pray.
But meditation?
Alas, the Disciples failed to say,
“Teach us to meditate.”
And there’s a dearth of models
though ample recordings
that allow too much
or too little verbiage.
Debate within my head
has no place? What else is there
as I sit quietly with
or without a soundtrack?
“the thoughts or prayers
of spiritually centered people
who understand,
so that we may experience and learn?”
The Saint Francis Prayer,
the Book of Common Prayer,
the standards I use everyday,
Serenity, Step One, Step Seven…
and the bedevilments on page 52
of the Big Book, “We had to ask…”
and the responsive promises
spanning pages 83-84.
These I can consider
so that I may experience and learn.
Thanks, Bill W!!

Bless You! (Bless Yourself!)

You do not need God’s blessing because that you have forever, but you do need yours. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles. Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition.

Who among all who know you,
know about you, or believe themselves
affected by your decisions, your actions,
your choices…who of all those
thinks the least of you?
My guess is there are few
who compete for the honor
of disliking you more than you!
It’s the truth! You do not need God’s blessing
because that you have forever,
but you do need yours.
So how do you bless yourself?
How do you bless someone else?
Frederick Loewe put it in
King Arthur’s mouth viq Merlin
…and gender is unimportant…
“Mark me well, I will tell you, sir
The way to handle a woman
Is to love her, simply love her
Merely love her, love her, love her”
Do you love your inner child,
your self who feels like a failure?
Take your cue from God.
Love you, bless you,
like God loves and blesses you!

About Surrender

It took a long time, but I finally realized that surrender does not mean submission—it means I’m willing to stop fighting reality, to stop trying to do God’s part, and to do my own. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II. Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

Submission may be described
as the action or fact of accepting or yielding
to a superior force
or to the will or authority of another person.
It can be a synonym of acceptance,
yielding, or agreement,
but it may yell capitulation
and feel like you’ve bought the farm.
Surrender is different…or is it?
It means to cease resistance and submit
to authority.
But what if submission is far from the truth,
if what’s called surrender
is accepting an open invitation
from the best of the best,
the one you could not imagine
having in your sight,
but you’re welcomed with open arms,
made part of the best,
and can give up the hard part
and only do what you’re best in doing,
surrounded by love and success!??

image Copyright : psychoshadowmaker

Life with a Purpose

"...These kids make me feel like I have a purpose for my life. I never had that feeling before, and I gotta tell you, it’s a better high than any drug I ever sold. For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to be clean down to your soul and to be proud of who you are.” ~ Myss, Caroline. Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing (p. 121). Potter/TenSpeed/ Harmony. Kindle Edition.

Do you know what it means
to be clean down to your soul
and to be proud of who you are?
Few of us hold in our history
dealing drugs as well as
an abrupt ABOUT FACE!
to a life of service
to the extent
Myss goes on to say,
"He still experiences bad pain days,
as he calls them, but his attitude about life
is endless joy. He inspires everyone
he comes in contact with, and he radiates
a quality of self-esteem that comes
from genuinely loving his life."
Do you know the feeling expressed...
do you know what it feels like
to be clean down to your soul
and to be proud of who you are?

Persistence

Spiritual development is achieved by daily persistence in living the way you believe God wants you to live. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 47). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Am I willing to free my spirit so I can envision a Higher Power that will indeed bring about recovery? ~ Overeaters Anonymous,Voices of Recovery, Kindle location 1023.

Persistence. Firm or obstinate continuance
in a course of action in spite of difficulty
or opposition. We see persistence
as we live the way God intended,
but we can be blind when it’s us.
So look at your sponsor or
watch a many-year-tenured Recovery
lived out before you. How do you
practice living as God wants you to?
How does your spiritual development
differ from this time last year?
How will you grow from here?
Are you willing to free your spirit
so you can envision a Higher Power
bringing about your recovery?
Persistence. Firm or obstinate continuance
in a course of action in spite of difficulty
or opposition…
Soldier on!

Image Copyright : Nuttawut Uttamaharad

Carried by Clouds

“Sometimes I go about pitying myself
And all the while I am being carried across the sky
By beautiful clouds.” ~ Ojibway Indian saying quoted in Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II. Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

Self-pity: excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness
over one’s own troubles.
Self-love: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness
(chiefly considered as a desirable
rather than narcissistic characteristic)
What do you think of you?
Do you hate yourself?
Did you before you found Recovery?
Was it hatred or pity you felt? Both?
Self-loathing? Was it all about you?
Nothing else in the world mattered?
Did it look to the outside world
like narcissism? like excessive interest in
or admiration of yourself
and your physical appearance?
Have you changed since you found Recovery?
Do you now respect yourself,
feel worthy of well-being and happiness?
Is your Higher Power, your God,
carrying you across the sky?
Do you think God believes you deserve it?
Do you believe you deserve it?
You do!

Our Needs Met

Most of us find that fear is at the root of many of our damaging emotions and actions. As we grow in the twelve-step way of life, we learn that our fears usually stem from our inability to trust that our basic needs will be met. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous. First Edition Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Were your basic needs met?
What are your basic needs?
Abraham Maslow suggests they
are, from most basic,
physiological ones of food, water,
rest and, safety, followed closely
by safety and security.
those being met, psychological needs
present themselves: belongingness
and love needs:
intimate relationships and friends.
esteem needs of prestige
and feelings of accomplishment.
That all being met we finally have energy for
self-fulfillment needs
of achieving one’s full potential,
including creative activities.
We who have found a home
in Overeaters Anonymous
worked hard on the food needs.
What about now?
Do you trust that your basic needs will be met?
Do you live near-perpetually in fear?
Is it because you don’t trust your needs to be met?
Find your trust!
Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives;
he who seeks finds;
and to him who knocks,
the door will be opened.…
Fear not!He’s got us covered!

True Wisdom, RealUnderstanding

“God alone understands the way to wisdom;
he knows where it can be found,for he looks throughout the whole earth
and sees everything under the heavens.He decided how hard the winds should blow
and how much rain should fall.He made the laws for the rain
and laid out a path for the lightning.Then he saw wisdom and evaluated it.
He set it in place and examined it thoroughly.And this is what he says to all humanity:‘The fear of the Lord is true wisdom;
to forsake evil is real understanding.’” ~ Job 28:23-28 New Living Translation (NLT)

An archaic definition of fear:
A mixed feeling of dread and reverence.
Proverbs comes close to the same statement
with “The fear of the LORD
is the beginning of knowledge,”
then blurts, “but fools despise
wisdom and instruction.”
Job should be ranting by this point
of his story,
a righteous man deprived
of all that had made a good life,
and yes, he has complained,
questioned why, but not
been critical of God.
He certainly was of his blame-casting “friends.”
No, he still is able to understand God’s wisdom,
Holding mixed feelings of dread and reverence
as to God, then ‘The fear of the Lord is true wisdom.”
Are we insightful enough to understand
That the fear of the Lord is true wisdom,
that to forsake evil is real understanding.Do we have the faith of the father
who brought his “possessed” child to Jesus?Lord, I believe. Help Thou my unbelief!

Job by Léon Bonnat, Public Domain

Becoming Conscious

From an energy perspective, becoming conscious requires stamina. It is extremely challenging, and often very painful, to evaluate our own personal beliefs and separate ourselves from those that no longer support our growth. ~  Myss, Caroline. Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing (p. 110). Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.

Have you ever been angry, resentful, defiant –
against God, your mate, your doctor,
your mother, your father, your friends,
your children, the salesperson in the store
whose look spoke a thousand words
as you tried on clothes – because they were thin,
because they wanted you to be thin,
and because you were forced to diet to please them
or shut them up or make them eat their words
and their looks? We welcome you to OA; welcome home!*
We lived in defiance for many years,
unconscious and in pain.
We deadened our feelings with food,
lived in a fog.
We came home to OA,
a home we had not known.
We found if we were going to heal
spiritually, emotionally and physically
we had to become conscious,
to separate ourselves from attitudes and beliefs
that no longer supported our growth.
We had to become conscious
of feelings we had anesthetized
but no longer could if we were to
find Recovery. Fortunately we had tools
and guidance from a Higher Power
and now could do what we
could not do alone:
become conscious.

*© Overeaters Anonymous, Lifeline, September, 1977

Green and Growing

A friend of mine once said “People call Step Ten the permanence but I prefer to think of it as the Growth Step. I’d rather be green and growing than to be ripe and rotting!” ~ Wanda S.

Step Ten:  Continued
to take personal inventory
and when we were wrong,
promptly admitted it.Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve
certainly are The Maintenance Steps…
what we do or the rest o our lives,
“practicing these principles in all our affairs”
but we certainly do not stop growing
stop improving, stop learning after Step Nine.
The next three obviously assume
daily development and growth.
In relationship with all around us, with God,
and with those who still suffer
from the compulsion
that once ruled our lives.
We must continue to grow
in relationships, becoming better people.
Let’s not assume we just keep our past progress
but be green and growing
rather than settling
with being be ripe and rotting!
“More gifts are in store for us
as we continue working the program
and experiencing the miracle
of permanent recovery,
one day at a time.”*

*Overeaters Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition . Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Actively Passive

Trust, like surrender, has elements of being passive and of being active. It takes action to trust. And it takes an opening or surrendering to our feelings and being vulnerable. ~ P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara. Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven (p. 84). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

How do be build trust?
How do we’re become worthy of trust,
A trustworthy?
How do you get people to trust you?
You do the right thing, you perform
your role. We’re earn trust.
So we’re active in being worthy of trust.
And we’re passive in trusting
our Higher Power to guide us,  to aid us,  to help us
do what we are responsible for.
And for actively trusting HP
to make it right,  His right, not ours.
It boils down to our personal integrity.
And that’s a gift to us for being ready,
for being willing.

Escaping the Squirrel Cage That’s my Mind

…the unknown, that free-floating world of happenings uncluttered by the squirrel cages of my control. I wasn’t willing to trust. I wasn’t willing to learn or change. I wasn’t even willing to be willing, and that is the first condition of working with God on any problem….
Any excessive indulgence opens me up to feeling I can do it all, have it all, control it all—ego-whip the world with my will. And that kind of behavior doesn’t work anymore. ~ P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara. Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven (pp. 82-83). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The squirrel cage…
meaning my mind
with intent to act
in my perceived best interest?
That sounds like
the pandemonium,
the chaos that was my life
before Recovery…
my life when I
was unwilling to be willing,
when I trusted only
the mind that brought me there.
I want out of the squirrel cage
of that surreal-ity!
I want to change, to learn.
I want to row the boat
but let the Holy Spirit
choose the course,
give the orders.
I hereby set aside
the control, the route,
I give up the mindset
that doesn’t work
no matter now hard
I try to control!
I SURRENDER ALL!

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