Choose Your Friend

I will spend more time with myself in this lifetime than with anyone else. Let me learn to be the kind of person I would like to have as a friend. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 3555-3557). Al-Anon Family Groups.

Who do I like as friends?
It should be an easy question
but I struggle with it.
There's a history of denial here.
I said one or twice aloud
yet believed for decades...
most if not all of them...
some people thought of me
as a friend yet I had no friends.
I can name playmates
before I was nine...
Helen Musick, Cherry,
Jimmy Pinkerton,
Linda Kay...
which is amazing
since after nine
remembering names
was largely a lost art.
I know now I do have friends
but who would want to be my friend?
Anybody? What about me?
Can I find the self-respect
to be my friend?