Beginning the Process

Before we actually make amends or begin to consider appropriate amends, we allow ourselves to change our attitude. That is where healing begins—within us. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 243). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Our inclination is not to make amends
but when we decide to, we plunge in
head first too often, without guidance
from our sponsor. We're likely to blow it,
to say the wrong things, to expect
when we admit our slight error
they'll be delighted to admit they started it.
They might, but they need not.
And we need it not, too, it being
reciprocity. What we...I need is forgiveness,
nor from the other, from me!
I am learning at long last
to change my attitude
and forgive and accept myself!

Each a Teacher

No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, every person is your teacher. ~ Florence Scovel Shinn

Out of the mouths of babes...
what have you learned
from a child?
Not my kind, my tribe,
my class? What has he taught you?
Did her maturity, her understanding,
her insight grab your heart
and your head?
I grew up with a prejudice,
believing education was essential,
disdaining those who stopped
long before they reached
an acceptable level
and when their knowledge,
their insight, exceeded my expectations...
and my abilities, there should have been
error messages, DOES NOT COMPUTE!
ERROR. NOT FOUND. BAD GATEWAY.
SERVER ERROR.
How could they know that?
Because every person
is my teacher!

Own Your Life

Many subtle attitudes and past conditioning can affect our sense of ownership of our lives and of the world we live in—guilt, a haunting sense of victimization, laziness, living with repressive, angry, or abusive people may have tamed our sense of ownership of our lives. ~ Beattie, Melody. More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 298-299). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Do you own your life?
Is there someone
you feel it necessary
to clear your decisions with.
or just flat get permission from?
Is that person alive or dead?
How does the person control you?
Guilt? By victimizing you?
Do you lack energy
or the conviction
you can achieve?
Do you fear anger
from your puppeteer?
Or abuse, verbal or physical?
Why do you surrender control
to someone who has no right?
Or are you controlled
not by a person but by addiction...
to alcohol, to drugs, to food...
or shopping or sex or gambling?
Why? Are you ready to claim your life?
If not, couldn't you surrender
to someone or something petty?
Wouldn't you prefer ceding control
to a loving Power greater than you?
It's time to own your life!

License: Creative Commons

The Opportunity to Love

Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies. ~Hebrews 13:1-3 (NLT)
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends – this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 89

Addiction is so lonely,
so internalized
even in the midst of crowds,
or those you know best.
Recovery is so public,
so expansive,
such a message to shout
to strangers who
in an instant can become
friends, confidants,
fellow travelers.
It’s good to have them —
without friends to share with,
I would explode from the joy.

God, thank you for people
who care about me
and who give me the opportunity
to love.

Finding Freedom

If I am always reacting, then I am never free. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 3429-3430). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

Accept who you are.
Be who you are.
Respect who you are.
Love yourself.
Let others be who they are.
Give up on managing
the life of anybody else.
It's not your job
no matter how much
you've tried through the years.
Give up on managing your own life.
Surrender that to The Power Who Can.
Live in peace.
Exist in constant serenity.
Enjoy the freedom, the joy,
the success of your life.

A Dog's Ears

Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears
    is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own. ~ Proverbs 26:17 (NIV)

Honeybear loves me,
invites my petting him
by dancing at hand's height.
He snuggles next to me at night,
scratches to remedy a door
between us, jumps ecstatically
to go out in the morning...
but when he has a burr in his ear
growls angrily at my attention to it.
Honeybear has never bit anybody
in the years we've had him.
I know he'll growl, squirm,
fight the intrusion, but I trust him
not to bite. But a stray dog?
A dog you don't know?
To grab the dog's ears?
Much less to GRAB a stray dog
by the ears! Would you do that?
Would you presume to be involved
in a disagreement not your concern?
Would you borrow hostility?
Would you toss your serenity
to grab a stray dog by the ears?

Transformation

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. ~ Romans 12:2 (NIV)

When I grew up, I put away childish things.
We don't need a scary God even if
that's the God introduced to us as children.
We can even write a job description,
a summary of a Power we're willing
to surrender to. He doesn't care
who we think He is or whether
we consider Him a She. "It" is even all right.
God knows who God is and that out minds
can't comprehend completely.
That's okay. We can trust...some...
and the some will expand, get closer
to truth, and God as we understand God,
or as we don't, can become our closest friend,
and we will approach knowing
His good, pleasing and perfect will.

My Humpty-Dumpty Self

Dear Higher Power: I want to thank you for spreading calm over my confusion, for making the jangled chords of my human relationships harmonize again, for putting together the shattered pieces of my Humpty Dumpty self, for giving me as a sobriety present a whole great expanded world of marvels and opportunities. May I remain truly Yours. Yours truly. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 2362-2365). Hazelden Publishing.

"Lord, teach us to pray."
Like John the Baptist
taught his followers...
God doesn't care.
He cares that we want to,
He cares that we try.
But the "How" makes no difference.
Don't ask how, just DO IT!!

Marching Orders

Live reverently, compassionately, and respectfully toward yourself and all else in the world. ~ Beattie, Melody. More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 293). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Live reverently toward yourself
aware you are a child of God,
a part of God, your allegiance
in all things to your God
spreading the love as part of God,
bringing the world into the fold.
Live compassionately toward yourself,
setting aside your self-derision,
your self-flagellation, for mistreatment
of you, a part of God cannot exist
to damage you or others who like you
are children of God.
Live respectfully toward yourself
so you will respect the other
children of God worthy of
everything loving, everything healing,
everything Godly, everything right.

Importuned Is the Right Verb

Whether I am reading a magazine, watching television or listening to the radio, I am constantly being importuned to run out immediately and buy something on which to snack—or with which to lead someone else down the primrose path (“Bake someone happy”). ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. For Today (Kindle Locations 2544-2545). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.

I had to look it up to know,
but importuned firs perfectly.
The first definition fits:
to ask a person pressingly
and persistently for
or for ask them to do something.
The second shows how daring.
how tenaciously and hints
the derivation:
to approach someone
to offer one's services
as a prostitute.
Isn't that what advertising
or today's news coverage does?
It nudges us and soon we need a fix.
a trek back to our addiction
with the same pull
as a prostitute has for a john.
Thank our higher power
we have the tools to avoid the trap!

Do What You Can

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

We want to be perfect but we're not.
We want others to think we're perfect
but we not.We crave to believe we're perfect
but we know it's a lie. But we're good enough.
We have done marvelous things
as imperfect as we are
and when we surrender to a Perfect Power
who loves us as we are, we are
completely, totally, absolutely
amazing!

Grow in Godliness

“God calls each of us to grow . . . to grow in faith, in righteousness, in love, in joy, in hope, patience, peace, perseverance . . . in godliness. How do you do that?” ~ Cahn, Jonathan. The Book of Mysteries (p. 212). Charisma House.

How do you grow in all the right ways?
You face problems as they arise.
But not alone. You look for guidance
to a power beyond your abilities.
You look to tough times as opportunities...
to grow, to find your strengths, to learn,
to overcome. Use the tools,
a clan of eating, the telephone,
literature, writing, an action plan,
service, and anonymity, and meetings.
Simply grow in recovery and as long as  you do,
you will grow in all the right ways,
in faith, in righteousness, in love,
in joy, in hope, in patience, in peace,
in perseverance and in godliness.

Find God

You find God the moment you realize that you don’t need to seek God. ~ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (p. 147). New World Library. Kindle Edition.

Hiding in plain sight.
Not like he's the golden calf
Aaron and the Hebrews made
while God was with Moses
on the mountain.
No, nothing like that!
It was destroyed, cannot be seen.
No,  God is in a hug, in a smile,
in a real bull or a calf in a pasture.
God is in a baby and a centenarian,
God is in a flower or a thorn
or a raindrop,  but easiest to find,
God is in you and you are in God
and you are one.
You find God the moment
you realize that
you don’t need to seek God.

The Power of Program

No one of us met our experiences very successfully before discovering this program. In most cases we lacked the structure that comes with the Steps. Direction was missing from our lives. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women (Kindle Locations 2938-2939). Hazelden Publishing.

About FACE! That's what happens
with successful Recovery.
You pivot to face the opposite direction
turning clockwise a hundred eighty degrees.
We failed to find the willpower
the rest of the world, the willpower
our mothers, our doctors, the whole world
insisted we find. We dumped the worthless
treasure hunt for mastery, gave up...
literally, surrendering to a God
we had thought too busy
to be concerned with
what we put in our bodies.
We took off in a new direction
surrounded by people like us...
having discovered at last
there really were more of us!
We discovered the dorection
and the path we had sought for years!
Thank God for Recovery,
and thank Recovery for leading us to God!

God's Will

God’s Will does not oppose. It merely is. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (Kindle Locations 18356-18357). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition.

God’s Will does not oppose. It merely is.
God could control us like wind-up dolls,
He could create us so His will became ours,
so we were programmed as clones.
All power is God's. And His Will
is our natural will. But we have free will.
While we're happier, more at peace,
more as we were made to be when we accept
the Will of God, we can choose.
The offer stands. It just is...
it always is. Ours for the acceptance.
Ours for our own good. Ours
for the benefit of all we meet.
Ours for God's Will to roll through our lives
to bless the whole world.
What sane choice can we make but
accepting God's Will? It's your choice.

The Magic of Program

Everywhere around us, we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. To those who’ve made progress in the Program, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who we really are—followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 2528-2529). Hazelden Publishing.

Surely it is magic! Drunks in the 30's
struggling for sanity, having lost it
and everything worthwhile they'd had...
Ebby finding it, giving it to Bill, who didn't
at first then did, Bill trying to give it away,
Lois pointing out it didn't fail as long
as Bill stayed sober, Bill stuck in Akron,
desperate, needing a drunk to talk to,
the magic of Bill and Bob. They found
the humility to grasp a simply a clear recognition
of what and who they really were—
followed by a sincere attempt to become
what they could be and building a model
for suffering people everywhere
to do the same and change the world
to what it can be as well.

Ebby Thatcher

God's Will

God’s Will does not oppose. It merely is. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (Kindle Locations 18356-18357). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition.

God’s Will does not oppose. It merely is.
God could control us like wind-up dolls,
He could create us so His will became ours,
so we were programmed as clones.
All power is God's. And His Will
is our natural will. But we have free will.
While we're happier, more at peace,
more as we were made to be when we accept
the Will of God, we can choose.
The offer stands. It just is...
it always is. Ours for the acceptance.
Ours for our own good. Ours
for the benefit of all we meet.
Ours for God's Will to roll through our lives
to bless the whole world.
What sane choice can we make but
accepting God's Will? It's your choice.

A Special Checking Account

Perhaps I will think of time as a special kind of checking account. I have twenty-four hours to spend.... I even have an opportunity to learn from my mistakes, since a brand new twenty-four hours can begin at any moment. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 3301-3304). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

Nine twenty-two in the morning.
What have I done worth doing?
I prepared and ate an abstinent breakfast.
But I neglected the dogs' water dish
and my beginning the morning with prayer.
I posted my poem then shifted to Facebook
and computer games rather than readings.
Eventually Kindle and my morning brain-fare.
My second reading brought me here.
I could beat myself up, but it's not all wrong.
Now I'll see to the dog dish prayers
and come back to readings then
the to-do list past-due items.
A day of readings, contact with someone
who came back faithfully then stopped.
Some chores done but task list ignored.
I've time left, though, to tackle past-dues
and a Tenth Step after that will rest easier,
accounting for the day more comfortable.

Not Responsible

It was the Law itself that killed me and freed me from its power, so that I could live for God.

I have been nailed to the cross with Christ. (Galatians 2:19, CEV)

---

---

Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62)

---

---

Whatever
I've tried all these years
over and over again
didn't work.
Why should I trust it to work now?
Do I relish guilt,
savor shame,
revel in remorse?
Emphatically not!
Why, then, should I persist,
why try harder when I know
I could not before have done more
than I did, at least briefly...
I'm incompetent, powerless,
unable to manage my life,
my responsibilities.
It's time to toss my pride in the rag pile
and allow the results
even if I can't claim
responsibility.

God, thank you!
I don't have to be
responsible.

Daily Needs

I've delighted for years
in seeing notes judges write themselves,
treasures never seen but by them...
and other judges who occasionally
share their bench! Long ago one
had the words needed to overrule
or sustain an objection. More universal
is the last bench I shared, simple daily needs...
Laugh, Think, Cry and Pray.
I've been identified for more than fifty years
as a giggler. I would until recently have avered
I laughed daily. Yet recently when a son moved home
I pointed out the recent dearth of giggles
and asked his help in finding them.
In retirement I could play stupid computer games
all day long but instead have committed to reading daily
from seventeen sources, insuring ingesting deep thought.
Crying? Movies or songs or sad Facebook posts
provoke moist eyes most days, and morning with dogs
includes both structured and ad lib prayers
with water changing and circling the yard.
It seems I pass the test. And I'm grateful
for the chance to sit on benches and adopt
the wisdom of wise jurists.

There Is No Try

You should never “try”; you should “let”—let God. When you “try” to do things, you are working from the outside. When you let God do them through you, you are working from the inside and success must come. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 68). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

And God said,  “Let the water
under the sky be gathered
to one place, and let dry ground appear.”
God still lets the ultimate plan,
the greater good play out.
And God is ready and willing
to "Let" things happen through his people.
I think God agrees with Yoda
that "The Force" working through folk
who turn their life and their will
over to the Power that Can
success will surely come!
Truly, All Power is the Lord's!

The Best Gift

Our own sanity is the best gift we can give to others. ~ L., Elisabeth. Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters (Kindle Locations 2303-2304). Hazelden Publishing.

We can run the world. Oops, error there.
Many of us tried that and failed miserably.
We couldn't even manage our lives
or what we put in our bodies!
We can accomplish great things,
be perfect in achieving the goal
we set out to accomplish. Oops, we failed there.
We fell short of the goal and realized
perfection was not in us.
We can love others, for what the world most needs
is love! But it comes across as disingenuous,
for it's obvious we cannot love even ourselves.
But when we learn to accept ourselves
as we are and stop trying to save the world,
when we find by accepting ourselves
we are loved and can even love ourselves,
we find ourselves restored to sanity
which we cannot recall having had before,
and in sanity with surrender
we can accomplish those great things impossible before!

Self-Approval

With recovery comes a new attitude toward self. We see that we find happiness by abstaining from compulsive overeating and seeking every day to do God’s will. New power and order enter into our daily activities, and we begin to approve of ourselves. ~ L., Elisabeth. Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters (Kindle Locations 2290-2292). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

We seek self-approval in many ways.
My self-esteem does not rise
by my counting the likes and loves
on posts on Facebook, and I seldom see...
or post...on Twitter, Instagram or LinkedIn.
But it is a battle to approve of myself.
I've garnered respect from others
by intelligence, achievements and success
but seldom tendered it to myself.
I could have trudged along,
ramshackle self-esteem all I had,
until a woman informed me,
"You don't have to be subservient anymore."
How can I believe her? How can I not?
I guess it's true, new power and order
enters into my daily activities,
and I can begin to approve of myself!

Wildness of God

Sometimes it is the wildness of God, the untamable energies of the divine within creation, that the creatures alert us to. (Christ of the Celts, J. Philip Newell, p. 34)

I need a wild god!
I long to slough off
the formal, the trite,
the straitjacket tight
constraints. I want
a dancing god,
a rapscallion,
a co-conspirator,
a giggling god.
I need a life-loving
audacious god.
Joy to the world!

Irreducible

I know many words,
useful tools they are.
This one discovered today
intrigues, inspires.
Irreducible. Impossible
to transform into
or restore to
a desired or simpler condition.
Bare bones, essence,
quintessence.
The root, the core.
Our commitment to abstinence first —
is the most important thing in our lives
without exception.
Abstinence is irreducible
to Recovery.

Pants on Fire

Lying is a particular talent of mine,
fine-honed and polished with use.
My sponsor knows when I hedge the truth.
If an answer is generalized, minimized,
or "fine" or "okay" she quickly dredges out the truth.
What happens, though, when I involve another
in my deception? For most fabrications
I craft are individualized and others know.
Still, it's a defect of character
falling in the category of "every single
defect of character which stands in the way
of my usefulness to You and my fellows."
God, I see the issue and haven't managed
to lose the habit on my own, so help me
to speak the truth when I mumble the words
and honestly be entirely ready
to let you remove the lousy habit!

Cast Your Burden on the Lord

To cast the burden means really to insist upon harmony and peace of mind, and to cease from worry and anxiety there and then. This leaves you free to go about your business in a serene frame of mind, following upon which, in due course, you find your problem solved. ~ Fox, Emmet. Find and Use Your Inner Power (p. 58). New Albany. Kindle Edition.

Cast. Throw, fling, pitch, hurl, lob. chunk.
Cast your cares, your anxiety, your cares,
your troubles, your millstone, your load,
your onus, your responsibility, your load.
Cast your burden on the Lord.
God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help
of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!
Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
(Psalm 55:22-23 New King James Version)
My difficulties, my burden are Yours.
Your will, not mine be done...THANK GOD!

Worry

Worry seems to be knitting expectations. ~ Maureen

Knit one, purl one, knit one purl one, repeat...
Knit a row, purl a row, repeat ad infinitum.
Hours...or days...later you see what's emerging,
hopefully resembling the picture on the pattern.

The knitting process echoes obsessive worry
in its repeating, repeating,
reliving, reliving, imagining a result...
most often the result you loath,
yet you continue creating out of wholecloth
what you least wanted the result to be.

Save your knitting for yarn.
Stop knitting expectations
by giving up worry, choosing instead
to leave the planning, the creating,
to your Higher Power saying,
"Not my will but Yours be done!"

Abundance

Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything. ~ 2 Corinthians 6:10 NLT

An attitude of gratitude,
a belief that God will supply,
The assurance in my mind,
what I need will appear
sufficient to meet my needs...
Seeing seemingly negative turns
offer opportunities for growth,
believing in abundance,
declining to consider
what could seem downs
as negative, knowing instead
trust brings sunshine in storm,
good in disappointment,
hope from hopelessness,
a life well-lived
from disappointment and despair.
Joy is here for claiming.
I have everything in abundance.

Set Aside Defenses

You do not realize what you have done to sabotage the holy peace of God by your defensiveness. ~ Schucman, Dr. Helen. A Course in Miracles (Kindle Locations 17890-17891). Foundation for Inner Peace.

It's called surrender.
Conditional or unconditional.
Capitulating to God means the latter,
unequivocally.
A belligerent incapable of continuing
yields completely.
A white flag
or raising empty open hands.
Next comes silence
(they cannot plan an escape)
Search (for weapons, maps, orders, etc.)
Secure (tie up or guard)
Safeguard (from dangers)
Separate (to facilitate control)
To surrender  usually opens yourself
to humiliation, no voice in decisions.
Would you surrender to God?
I thought I did when I was twelve
and joined the church.
I thought I’d surrendered to God.
But that was the media God,
the one I got third hand.
Only when I really knew him
could I reach the point of yielding control
and that gladly.
Until the understanding
that came through working the Steps,
I had no real relationship with God.
So for me God was really nothing,
or at least not everything.
When I got to know him,
he was everything,
and surrender came naturally.

Living Miracles

Now when someone leaves a will, it is necessary to prove that the person who made it is dead. The will goes into effect only after the person’s death. While the person who made it is still alive, the will cannot be put into effect. ~ Hebrews 9:16-17 (NLT)

Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known!  ~Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 11

Jesus told Nicodemus
he had to be born again.
He said flesh comes from flesh,
spirit from spirit.
God so loved he gave his son.
Just believe – no more – and Spirit
gives spirit where flesh condemns.
We’ve turned away from light,
loving darkness, doing evil.
Fear blocks the light.
Just believe,
be ready to live by truth,
walk into light, in the light,
seeing miracles, living miracles.*

God, my fear is huge,
but it’s not larger
than your light.
I believe. I believe!

*John, Chapter 3

Rollins, Barbara with OAStepper.
A Cloud of Witnesses -
Two Big Books and Us
(Kindle Locations 1335-1353).
 Eagle Wings Press imprint
of Silver Boomer Books.
Kindle Edition.