As It Should Be

Our past is neither an accident nor a mistake. We have been where we needed to be, with the necessary people. We can embrace our history, with its pain, its imperfections, its mistakes, even its tragedies. It is uniquely ours; it was intended just for us. ~ Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (pp. 310-311).

My past made me what I am...
and what I was before Recovery.
I recall a teacher whose truthful words
humiliated me outside my fourth grade classroom
and an even greater humiliation
in a coach's words, my height and weight,
publicly stated before my eighth-grade peers.
I recall none of the available band uniforms
would fit me. I recall my inability to reach
the weight intended, the necessity
of Mother's enlarging my wedding dress.
I recall the scales' silent scream
of THREE HUNDRED POUNDS
in the spring of 1998.
My past is neither an accident nor a mistake.
I have been whereI needed to be,
with the necessary people.
I can embrace my history.
It's who I am and my story to share.