A Disease of the Body

Psychologically, the obese individual is helped to attain a sense of the reality and nearness of a greater power, which replaces one’s egocentric nature. Then the person’s point of view and outlook will take on a spiritual coloring. ~ Dr. Peter Lindner, past president of the American Society of Bariatric Physicians and chairman of its board of trustees. in Appendix C,Overeaters Anonymous, Third Edition 

We are fat as a society and getting fatter,
spending huge sums to combat the problem,
those of us with the disease of the body
being powerless to make permanent advances
in our battle. I am a believer because I know
from Dr. Brooks prescribing diet pills
when I was thirteen to Dr. C instructed me
to do an injection in my stomach daily
which I was doing at fifty-nine when I found O.A.,
doctors and I had not conquered.
Between those, I tried most weigh-and-pay
organizations you could name,
some multiple times,  some weigh-and-pay
organizations you may not have heard of,
Carb blockers, Amphetamines
(Back when they were discouraged but still legal
I drove 150 miles and back to get a bottle of pills for 30 days.
When I ran out and realized I was physically needing them,
I had the sense not to go back to get the next month’s supply.)
A metal pin at an acupuncture point on my ear,
with instructions to massage it when wanting to eat
Graphs and charts projecting how much I’d lose by what date,
with planned rewards
Three or four Internet programs
A diet from a women’s magazine
Counting calories
Counting carbs
Counseling (3 times, five years at a time)
Hypnotism, Motivational tapes
New Year’s resolutions
Goals for certain major events
Diet books
Cookbooks with reduced calories/fat/carbs/sugar
Books, directed at weight loss, organization, codependency,
relationships, misogynists, self-esteem,
and anything else marginally relative
Partners in person and on the Internet
Fasting one day each week
And beginning to write a book about how with a partner
I attained a total weight loss of 500 pounds,
knowing I lacked well over a hundred of those
before publication.
Almost eleven years later, I understand
as Dr. Linder says, "It is our thoughts
that precede our emotions,
and it is our emotions
that make us eat inappropriately
and become physically obese."