Not My Food

I have a food plan, and when I eat it,
that's my food...but it's mine without eating it, too.
My food doesn't make me reach for the Tums®,
doesn't block my emotions, make me near-comatose,
cause mood swings like anger, sadness, distress,
trigger disappointment, betrayal, binge eating
for days, weeks, months, years to come.
My food nourishes my body and results
in my moving toward or maintaining
a healthy body weight.
My food is good for me, a gift from God,
and the other stuff is NOT my food.
We begin today months of being surrounded
by NOT MY FOOD. I thank my Higher Power
for keeping me supplied with MY FOOD
from now through February 14th
and giving me strength to avoid NOT MY FOOD.

None of My Business

I am learning to let go of my certainty about what other people should do. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Location 3892).

I know the rules.
I've seen a shirt proclaiming,
"I'm Silently Correcting Your Grammar"
and would buy it if I weren't positive
others would question the "silently."
I listen to news broadcasts
and critique not merely grammar
but concepts of law, statements of "fact."
I welcome the opportunity to share
my opinion, to explain it's better than yours,
but I know something else...
what you think is none of my business,
my opinion about what you should do is mine...
I need not share it with you!
Recovery is changing me.
I am learning to let go of my certainty
about what other people should do.

Make Me a Laughing Fool

      It is better to heed a wise manʼs rebuke
than to listen to the song of fools.Like the crackling of thorns under the pot,
so is the laughter of fools.
This too is meaningless. (Ecclesiastes 7:5-6 NIV)

 

Crackling thorns under a pot.
Laughter of fools.
Who’s the fool? Isn’t it the one not
taking delight in the crackling and the
laughter?
But joy comes too in words that sting
for the sting comes from truth.
Truth, no matter how painful,
yields joy like the crackling of thorns
under the pot.

 

God, give us joy when we see
the meaningless
parts of life,
when sounds, sights, smells
give little pleasures.
Make me a laughing fool,
at least part of the time.

Barbara B. Rollins. A Time
for Verse - Poetic Ponderings
on Ecclesiastes

So We May Fear Less

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. ~ Marie Curie

Fear is not necessary.
It has played a large role
in our lives, but the Big Book
has it right: This short word
somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.
It was an evil and corroding thread;
the fabric of our existence was shot through with it.
It set in motion trains of circumstances
which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve.
But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling?
Thinking about fear, We reviewed our fears thoroughly.
We put them on paper.... We asked ourselves why we had them.
Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us?
The answer was to release fear, to surrender:
We ask Him to remove our fear
and direct our attention
to what He would have us be.
At once, we commence to outgrow fear.
It's true, "Now is the time to understand more,
so that we may fear less."

The Miracle Is Enough

Scripture foresaw that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, and announced the gospel in advance to Abraham: “All nations will be blessed through you.” So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. ~ Galaians 3:8-9 (Phillips New Testament)

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We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, page 46.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

We, the intelligent,
the educated,
the leaders don't understand,
cannot make sense
of that which we know to be true.
We want to lead, to explain,
to interpret
the mystery that happened to us.
We understand
we've been here,
you're new
and you have questions
needing answers.
We can say, "It works!
The miracle happened,
is happening in our lives."
But to say more,
to give you resolution,
you'll just have to accept...
We can tell you it works,
that it did for us,
but just accept, believe.
and feel the miracle!

God, thank you for the change
we welcome,
forgive our
impulse to demand
understanding as well. 

As It Should Be

Our past is neither an accident nor a mistake. We have been where we needed to be, with the necessary people. We can embrace our history, with its pain, its imperfections, its mistakes, even its tragedies. It is uniquely ours; it was intended just for us. ~ Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (pp. 310-311).

My past made me what I am...
and what I was before Recovery.
I recall a teacher whose truthful words
humiliated me outside my fourth grade classroom
and an even greater humiliation
in a coach's words, my height and weight,
publicly stated before my eighth-grade peers.
I recall none of the available band uniforms
would fit me. I recall my inability to reach
the weight intended, the necessity
of Mother's enlarging my wedding dress.
I recall the scales' silent scream
of THREE HUNDRED POUNDS
in the spring of 1998.
My past is neither an accident nor a mistake.
I have been whereI needed to be,
with the necessary people.
I can embrace my history.
It's who I am and my story to share.

For Myself

For myself: I am powerless over food. No matter how much I wish to control my eating, I cannot. I am a compulsive overeater, no matter what my mind may have to say on the matter. ~ Overeaters Anonymous, For Today (Kindle Locations 2873-2874). 

I can live Recovery in public
but there's a hidden me who emerges
usually tagging along with fear,
fury, insecurity, self-doubt...
Yes, I can say the right things,
live Recovery in public.
but I know the private me,
how easy it is to act the part in public
but slip and slide in private.
So this poem is for me...
I am powerless over food.
No matter how much I wish
to control my eating, I cannot.
I am a compulsive overeater,
no matter what my mind
may have to say on the matter.

You Have a Phone Number

If you can tell me your sponsor's name
but not the last time you telephoned,
texted, emailed, met to talk,
communicated...you don't really have a sponsor.
You have a phone number!
If you agreed to sponsor
and set no expectations,
did not do what you said you would do,
did not giggle the bounds,
you don't have a sponsee,
just a name and you're not giving service
if you don't establish times for exchanges
any following through.

Anxiety Is Not Caring

I pray that I may be rid of the anxiety which I have equated in my mind with really caring about people. ~ Quoted from the app A Day at a Time, Hazelden.

Living or working with an addict "in his cups"
as the old AA folk described it
(a descriptor for heavy drinking
as old as the Apocrypha) although
the self-numbing applies to
many substances and addictions...
Living or working with an active addict
can make you cringe nearly constantly,
live trembling, fear speaking,
try to keep from irritating him,
try to calm or placate him,
but that is not really caring about him,
no matter whether love is involved.
To really aid the addict,
find your own Recovery and live in it!

Guilt Is a Gift

Guilt is a gift from God. ~ Tennie M

Guilt: the fact of having committed a specified
or implied offense or crime.
So much for legalities, but what of the emotion?
Guilt: the state of one who has committed an offense
especially consciously,
feelings of deserving blame especially
for imagined offenses or from
a sense of inadequacy :self-reproach
a feeling of deserving blame for offenses.
How can any of the meanings be God's gift?
What can we do with guilt?
Legally, we can pay the price,
Serving time, paying fines,
making restitution...
Those gift a feeling of paying the price,
setting things right.
The statement was made
to Recovery people.
What do we do with guilt?
Simple answer, Steps Four through Ten.
Guilt leads us to face our mistakes,
our malicious acts, our misinterpretations,
our regrets and often to walk away
with a former foe now friend
as well as serenity, relief, and peace...
gifts from God!

Time Alone

I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person. ~ Olivia Wilde

Another person would define my life.
I choose not to release control today
not to allow the person veto power
because I'm making the plans.
It's not that I'm unfeeling, that i put myself
on top. If that were so, I'd have brought with me
the flyer about a New Zealand trip next spring.
But for all of tomorrow I can travel,
do wha's good for me and people
who count on me with less forcefulness.
It's healthy to spend time alone,
it's what I need, a day of refusing to be defined
when the definition binds.

The Power to Ruin God's Plans

What I can’t do, my Higher Power can. When I let go and let God, I am free to take risks and to make mistakes. I know that I am powerless over many things. Today I can take comfort in knowing that I don’t have the power to ruin God’s plans. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 3767-3770).

It feels like a put-down,
an admission of impotence,
saying I admit I'm powerless over food —
that my life has become unmanageable.
Yet look at it. I AM powerless,
I give up managing the whole show,
I've offered myself to God to build with me,
to do with me as he chooses.
I pray that God's will be done, not mine...
and I can take comfort
in knowing that I don’t have the power
to ruin God’s plans!

It's About Today!

It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end. ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

When I surrendered my desk of 20+ years,
I removed a number of layers of charts
based on how much I needed to lose,
how long a segment would take, i.e.,
if I eat only this much, exercise that much,
each # days the # pounds would vanish
and in ## increments I'd be perfect, elated,
a winner. Not a single grand prize promised
for this saintly conduct was ever achieved.
Ten years and ten months after finding
these rooms of recovery I have yet to reach
any of the exalted goals, but honestly
what I wanted to earn was self-respect,
a spot within the range doctors with charts
declared appropriate for my age and height,
but the real prize at the end, had I articulated it,
was contentment, serenity,  a new freedom
and a new happiness, not regretting the past
nor wishing to shut the door on it,
comprehending the word serenity, and knowing peace.
That the  scale didn't matter, that my experience
could benefit others. That my feeling of uselessness
and self-pity had disappeared, that I'd lost interest
in selfish things and gained interest in my fellows.
I needed my whole attitude and outlook upon life to change,
for fear of people and of economic insecurity to leave me.
I now know intuitively know how to handle situations
which used to baffle me. I have suddenly realized
that God is doing for me what I never could have found
with all the charts and plans I could ever make!
These promises are being realized in my life...
one day at a time!

Thoughts as Prayer

Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. ~ Victor Hugo

One dictionary of prayer is, "an earnest hope or wish."
A man named Dutch Sheets says prayer
"It is a deposit slip – a way of depositing
God’s character into our bankrupt souls."
Fredrik Wisloff says, “You may pray for an hour
and still not pray. You may meet God for a moment
and then be in touch with Him all day.”
John Bunyan said, “In prayer it is better
to have a heart without words
than words without a heart.”
Hannah More says, "prayer is not
the definition of helplessness, but the feeling of it."
Elijah learned God was not in the earthquake
nor the fire but in a still small voice.

Trust like a Baby

Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:14 NIV

 What will be has been before,
and our God remembers it.
God recalls the future
like we remember the past.
He’s got the whole world in his hands.
God has the universe
and the time/space continuum
in his hands.

What? Should I worry? Me?
God, give us the power to trust
like a baby grinning up
at the outstretched arms
of a
loving parent.
Amen. So be it.

Rollins, Barbara B. A Time for Verse -
Poetic Ponderings on
Ecclesiastes
(Kindle Locations 259-267).
Eagle Wings Press imprint of
Silver Boomer Books. Kindle Edition.

Detachment

The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II

Emotional detachment can be a positive behavior
which allows a person to react calmly
to highly emotional circumstances or individuals.
Does someone in your life seem to control your thoughts,
your decisions, your actions? It can be someone past or present.
Does someone's voice in your head control your self-understanding,
your self-concept? Look at it, find the resentment, and forgive
your someone. They never made you feel like you have.
They may have wronged you, but the emotions,
the reactions were yours. And you can break the ties that bind
by understanding, by accepting, by forgiving...and the binding
drops by the wayside, leaving you to find self-acceptance
in your life.

Who's In Control

Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic, and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed, and to distrust. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 299).

We come unable to control our addiction,
the rest of our lives unmanageable.
So, in desperation we take control...
as the Big Book says, "Each person
is like an actor who wants to run the whole show;
is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet,
the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way.
If his arrangements would only stay put, if only
people would do as he wished,
the show would be great.
Everybody, including himself,
would be pleased. Life would be wonderful."
But there comes a time when we release control,
admit we have hidden behind fears, panic,
our feeling of helplessness.
We know we need to let our Higher Power control,
but we find trusting tough and grab the reins again.
But there is hope. We can learn
to deal with fear by trusting—
ourselves, our Higher Power,
and the love of people who understand
the process but have learned
to release the reins.

Paying Attention

Now, in recovery, we’re learning to pay attention to how things work and feel, not just to what they look like. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 299).

When we were powerless over our compulion
and living unmanageable lives, we reacted.
Reacted to emotions we didn't know we felt,
forged ahead in our commitment to control the world.
We thought we knew the situation but had no clue
how the world, our circle, or anything meaningful worked.
But when we decided to surrender our lives,
our wills to a Power greater than we, we learned.
We learned to pay attention. Like standing at attention,
to pay attention requires more than inert humans.
We let the brain function by flexing our knees,
we stand not trying to control the scene but hearing,
seeing, absorbing, knowing. We learn the truth,
understand our own feelings and reactions
without having to prove anything.
We come to understand and to relate to life.
And in paying attention, our world heals.

The Voice of Our Soul

When we pause in prayer and meditation, the answers come from seeing with our spiritual eye and listening to the voice of our soul. ~ Voices of Recovery, November 4

We live among a cacophony of noises....
or at least I do. The television on
except when a radio is on, though two radios
may, and do, compete for a while each day.
The chihuahua wheezes, whines,
scratches the bed, the recliner, where she wants to be,
squeaks her babies, her stuffed toys
when she figures out how.
The poodle delights in barking
at the big dog when my favors seem to him misdirected,
at the dog across the street, at squirrels, birds,
reflections in the glass...The big dog shadows me,
clicking his claws on the tiles, digging for trash to eat...
a cacophony not just of noise but things to do,
interferences.
But mornings, the first visit outside of the day,
I can read meditations,  pause in prayer and silence,
and  answers for the day come from seeing
with my spiritual eye
and listening to the voice of my soul.
Thank God!!

Outgrowing Fear

The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition (Kindle Locations 1099-1101). A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

"Are ye able," said the Master,
"To be crucified with me?"
"Yea," the sturdy dreamers answered,
"To the death we follow thee."
Lord, we are able, Our spirits are thine.
Remold them, make us, Like thee, divine.
Thy guiding radiance Above us shall be
A beacon to God, To love and loyalty.
Fifty years ago I attended the college
Sunday school class. Mary, the woman who led us,
had a strong solo voice, someone who
was heard no matter how large the crowd.
She usually didn't sing "Are You Able?"
because she believed it to be arrogant.
When necessary (when she was before
the crowd,) she amended the words to,
"Lord, MAKE US able, Our spirits are thine.
Remold them, make us, Like thee, divine.
Thy guiding radiance Above us shall be
A beacon to God, To love and loyalty."
Mary sis not apologize for God,
though certainly TO God for our foibles
but she would recognize as I do the power
of God to make us who we can be,
the power to aid us in outgrowing fear!

In the Driver's Seat

When I am the driver, the responsibility for steering clear of the road’s edge is mine. It is up to me to take my recovery seriously, to work on my attitudes, to take care of my mind, body, and spirit, to make amends when I have done harm—in short, to change the things I can. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II

What is my part and what is God's?
When am I in the driver's seat?
Isn't that my Higher Power's role?
No, I'm not just a passenger,
though sometimes I am,
when He's the pilot and I'm
along for the ride.
But I have responsibilities,
and a role to play.
Otherwise I could hide,
declare my dependence
and none of it would be my part.
And that is doing those things
I have the responsibility
and now the courage...
to change those things
that I can change.

Perpetual Quietness

Humility is said to be perpetual quietness of heart. It means that I do my part and trust God to take care of the rest. Although I may not know how my help will come, I can remain serene. All I have to do is to ask my Higher Power for healing. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 1850-1852).

Humility is said to be perpetual quietness of the heart.
I settle for those things I need to accept because
it's beyond my power to change, for those
I've realized I can change after God's given me
the needed power, and listen for instructions
on those I can't sort out.
I strive keep hands off God's part
without questioning, second-guessing or coveting.
I sit and wait for insight, for marching orders,
for discovering the serendipities that wait for me.
I wait in quietness that heals, that transforms.

Sit There!

“Don’t just do something, sit there.”...I can keep in mind that waiting time doesn’t have to mean wasted time. Even times of stillness have lessons to teach me. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Location 3605-3609). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.

Frenetic motion feels like
achievement, accomplishment.
To sit doing nothing brings to mind
teachers, parents, authorities'
remonstrances for idleness, indolence,
implied uselessness. Don't sit there,
accomplish something!
We stand ready for these autorities
long after they cease to exist in our lives.
But can we ever learn to set them aside,
to hear instead, "Be still, and know
that I am God?"
If you seek peace, be still.
If you seek wisdom, be silent.
If you seek love, be yourself. (Becca Lee)“Don’t just do something, sit there.”...I can keep in mind that waiting time doesn’t have to mean wasted time. Even times of stillness have lessons to teach me. ~ Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Location 3605-3609). Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.
Frenetic motion feels like
achievement, accomplishment.
To sit doing nothing brings to mind
teachers, parents, authorities'
remonstrances for idleness, indolence,
implied uselessness. Don't sit there,
accomplish something!
We stand ready for these autorities
long after they cease to exist in our lives.
But can we ever learn to set them aside,
to hear instead, "Be still, and know
that I am God?"
If you seek peace, be still.
If you seek wisdom, be silent.
If you seek love, be yourself. (Becca Lee)

A Disease of the Spirit

For many others, however, it is clear that what compulsive overeaters and alcoholics have in common is a need to nourish the spiritual side of their nature. ~ The Reverend Rollo M. Boas in Appendix  D,Overeaters Anonymous, Third Edition (quotations are from the same writing.

"Spiritual values are important
because they deal with the whole person.
Wholeness in this sense is related to 'holiness,'
as well as to “balance.”
A holy person is one whose body, mind, and spirit
share an equality that was (and is)
the intention and plan of God for all men."
"It is only as the hurt and damaged soul
is given emotional and spiritual sustenance
that...destructive characteristics slough off,
and love begins to flow freely within
and from there outward."
"Those who are prone to stuff themselves with food
that makes their bodies unsightly
are refusing the food that satisfies
and soothes the unhappy soul within."
"There are three stages in the process
of getting any kind of food.
One: Take your body to the food.
Two: Dish it out and eat it.
Three: Enjoy it and use the energy it creates.
It is the same with spiritual food, food for the soul."
"Finally, the message gets through:
Someone cared enough
to reach the starving soul.
You allow love within your life.
You are ready to take your body to spiritual food."
"...love that is accepted
immediately eliminates your aloneness."
",,,you are encouraged to ingest and digest
two new kinds of food: First, understanding
for your straightjacketed mind.
This comes from OA literature and other sources.
Second, you learn that prayer and meditation
have a lot to do with satisfying the inner hungry one.
Finally, you can listen to the stories
you hear at meetings with a deeper insight."
"But now that your body is no longer your master;
your mind is beginning to think clearly;
and your soul is fed, nurtured, and functioning,
you can reconsider those other sources of soul food."

A Disease of the Body

Psychologically, the obese individual is helped to attain a sense of the reality and nearness of a greater power, which replaces one’s egocentric nature. Then the person’s point of view and outlook will take on a spiritual coloring. ~ Dr. Peter Lindner, past president of the American Society of Bariatric Physicians and chairman of its board of trustees. in Appendix C,Overeaters Anonymous, Third Edition 

We are fat as a society and getting fatter,
spending huge sums to combat the problem,
those of us with the disease of the body
being powerless to make permanent advances
in our battle. I am a believer because I know
from Dr. Brooks prescribing diet pills
when I was thirteen to Dr. C instructed me
to do an injection in my stomach daily
which I was doing at fifty-nine when I found O.A.,
doctors and I had not conquered.
Between those, I tried most weigh-and-pay
organizations you could name,
some multiple times,  some weigh-and-pay
organizations you may not have heard of,
Carb blockers, Amphetamines
(Back when they were discouraged but still legal
I drove 150 miles and back to get a bottle of pills for 30 days.
When I ran out and realized I was physically needing them,
I had the sense not to go back to get the next month’s supply.)
A metal pin at an acupuncture point on my ear,
with instructions to massage it when wanting to eat
Graphs and charts projecting how much I’d lose by what date,
with planned rewards
Three or four Internet programs
A diet from a women’s magazine
Counting calories
Counting carbs
Counseling (3 times, five years at a time)
Hypnotism, Motivational tapes
New Year’s resolutions
Goals for certain major events
Diet books
Cookbooks with reduced calories/fat/carbs/sugar
Books, directed at weight loss, organization, codependency,
relationships, misogynists, self-esteem,
and anything else marginally relative
Partners in person and on the Internet
Fasting one day each week
And beginning to write a book about how with a partner
I attained a total weight loss of 500 pounds,
knowing I lacked well over a hundred of those
before publication.
Almost eleven years later, I understand
as Dr. Linder says, "It is our thoughts
that precede our emotions,
and it is our emotions
that make us eat inappropriately
and become physically obese."

A Disease of the Mind

The more closely I examined the phenomenon, the clearer it became that compulsive overeating is a disease. ~ Dr. William Rader, a psychiatrist engaged in clinical work with alcoholism, drug addiction, and compulsive overeating. in Appendix B, Overeaters Anonymous, Third Edition...The poem consists of excerpts from the Appendix.

The remarkable thing about OA’s success
is that the program gets people to function
far better than they ever have in their lives.
With any other disease, you’re lucky
to get back to where you were.
Once you treat the illness,
you have the potential to be
a more “together” person than you were.
It’s exciting for physicians and others,
who have been ignoring the problem
or expressing deep pessimism about it,
to think of compulsive overeating as a disease
and to realize that it can be treated so successfully.
Just as being an alcoholic is not related
to the amount one drinks,
being a compulsive overeater
is not related to the amount one weighs.
What the overeater has to do
is turn over the control to a Higher Power.
Once it is turned over, the behavior is under control.
In most cases is that the individual
develops the compulsive overeating mechanism
for dealing with life at an early age
and then starts to push problems down with the food.
Compulsive overeating is a serious disease,
and it is devastating this country.
Overeaters Anonymous should be the treatment,
and the professional should be the adjunct.

Five Minutes

Today I will take five minutes to think about how I can help my recovery by trusting myself and other people. ~ Anonymous. Today I Will Do One Thing: Daily Readings For Awareness and Hope (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 2349-2350).

Do I trust myself? Who do I trust?
I trust myself more this evening than I did
yesterday morning. For I spent hours
sorting piles and stacks and bundles
of trash with a few useful gems...like a car title...
to make the effort meaningful. I went to an office
where I assumed I could resolve a five-year-old problem
I've studiously avoided facing for a month.
It was a useless trip, but I wasn't only wishing it gone.
I have shown myself worthy of trust and can give it to myself
more readily today. I trust I will see it done tomorrow,
at least my part, so I ill be trustworthy tomorrow.
And who do I trust...and is it contingent as it is for me?
I trust the people I've dealt with today, believe
while maybe I needed more of some but did not ask.
I trust the Recovery people with whomI will begin the tomorrow,
believe they will say what I need to hear. I trust me
to hear what I need. Most of all, I trust my God
to lead me as I need...if I allow it.

Acknowledging the Disease

As long as we refuse to recognize that we have this debilitating and ultimately fatal disease, we are not motivated to get the daily treatment for it which brings about our recovery. Denial of the truth leads to destruction. ~ Anonymous, Overeaters. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous (Kindle Locations 114-116). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

A disease? Sure, I know that.
I see in "The Doctor's Opinion"
the similarities between my behavior
and that of alcoholics. And the literature
of Overeaters Anonymous assumes it true,
describing it as threefold: a disease of the mind,
the body and the spirit. A psychiatrist,
a bariatric surgeon and a minister
make the case. But do I believe it?
REALLY? If I do, why do I fight it?
The First Step in the OA 12 and 12 declares,
"Most of us have tried to deny to ourselves
that we have this disease." but argues
we realize we're not normal...we have this disease.
Does denial of the disease really lead to destruction?
Let's consider the expert opinions for the next three days.

Pride and Gratitude

Taking a look at pride means gaining a new perspective and looking again at who we are, not exclusively at what we have or do. Some of us have heard the slogan “The only person keeping us from having self-worth is ourselves.” The willingness to work the Sixth Step on pride begins by understanding that having healthy pride in our accomplishments in life is fine as long as it is coupled with humility and gratitude. ~ P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara. Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects - Steps Six and Seven (p. 34). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Are you proud of your job, your children, your savings?
What about yourself? What are you, the individual worth,
based on who you are, how you act, your insides, sans accouterments?
Does it differ from the job, children, savings?
It's not identical but it's all you. Can you look at the properties,
inherent and physical. Can you see how your old habits
created the dichotomy of pride in things but embarrassment in character?
It's all you, and gratitude balances the mind, the perceptions
allowing those of us who once found shame in naturee
acknowledge Nature's God's hand in all we are.

Cleaning Out the Gecko Cage

We all have routine tasks we tend to put off— changing the oil, mowing the lawn, or cleaning out the gecko cage. Today’s poem asks you to perform a menial task (weeding, washing the car, organizing your closet) and write in detail about not only what you did, but what you were thinking about while you did it. ~ Silano, Martha; Agodon, Kelli. The Daily Poet: Day-By-Day Prompts For Your Writing Practice (p. 277).
My sole focus for a year became meetings, prayers, phone calls, literature, and most importantly, the simple food plan I shared with my sponsor. This laid down the basis for the first Step, upon which I built a new life and experienced the personality change necessary for recovery. ~  Overeaters Anonymous, Third Edition (Kindle Locations 663-664). 

I have a computerized meeting Monday morning,
a face-to-face one at eight in the morning Wednesdays,
a temporary one on Thursdays for a while...with homework!
I sit outside with the dogs on arising, pray the Third Step,
Seventh Step and Serenity Prayers, a "not-my-will-but-yours"
tagged on, read the day's reading in For Today, Voices of Recovery,
and Courage to Change besides refreshing the dogs' water.
I call my sponsor at a weekly agreed time, hear from sponsees
daily by text, message, and email with occasional phone calls.
I review the day by looking at me, my issues, my hopes,
sharing the poem to do service to those who see it.
My food plan works best, is most honest when I record my food
in an online program to ascertain it remains within standards
for calories, fiber, fat and protein. The list is menial,
repetitive, an aim not always met, a gecko cage I could clean better,
but an ideal that I know brings me closer to a life full of Recovery,
a life for which I talk a good program, the one for which I strive,
a goal for life I come close enough to that I know joy, love,
serenity beyond all the decades of pain as well as beyond my wildest dreams!

   

Continued

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Continued day after day, not for a while, not just the good days but really
continued, good  days, embarrassing days, go out and eat worms days.
Continued to list good actions, room for improvement thoughts, all the attitudes.
Continued routinely like brushing teeth, evening pills, locking doors, lights out...
continued to see better actions in similar situations, less hostility to his habits,
continued to see less desire to answer, to fix, emotions with food, with old behaviors,
continued to grow in serenity, in harmony with the world and its people,
continued until you realize it happened automatically, without a plan.
Continued in my bed, in a hotel, at a friend's, in a bedroll in the forest.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.