Compulsive

I identify as a compulsive overeater,
recovering, and a sugar addict.
I didn't create the language, but it's mine.
Compulsive is an adjective describing
an irresistible urge, especially against
a person's conscious wishes. Addicted
is an adjective as well. So both apply to me.
What does that mean? "That which I would do,
I do not, but what I would not do, I do."
I'm powerless. Not just over food, over eating,
but over life. I can't do this alone despite the facts
I have substantial intelligence, a way with words,
ability to do things I want to do...most things.
Which made it more absurd I couldn't control
my body, my life, my food, my sanity.
I adopt the words compulsive and addicted
today, and each day as it comes,
and with that understanding, knowing
the truth inherent in the words, powerlessness,
find in that embarrassing truth both serenity and joy.
I claim who I am because understanding who I am
I know I can take twelve simple steps
to peace and freedom.