Remembering

I never ever want back
in the hell at the end, the bottom
of the barrel. But you know,
there was a time, back before,
when life seemed grand,
when freedom and happiness
reigned, my actions led to
serenity washing over me, to peace.
I could fix anything for anybody,
never felt useless, never pitied myself,
feared nothing at all. Nothing baffled me.

I'd go back there if I could,
but I'm not blind. I know the hell came
from what I perceived as heaven.
I'm halfway through these steps,
and I think what I'm looking for
really might come true - and last!