“If you’re doing it to please him, you’re back in your disease.” ~ Voices of Recovery (Kindle Location 785).
My name is Barbara, and I'm a people pleaser.
I want you to like me, respect me, admire me,
think I'm darned special, know I'm sublime.
Because I fear you'll hate me, scorn me, pity me,
think I'm a sad remnant of life, brand me inferior.
I fear that because deep down I believe it
despite all the evidence I can accumulate and demonstrate
and crow about to lead you to accept the "fiction" I act.
This program tells me what you think of me
is none of my business, and it reeks wrong, dangerous, ridiculous.
But I'm treating me then like I would never treat another being…
an animal, maybe even an insect. And I know when I'm pleasing you
by demeaning myself, I'm proving to myself I am nothing
and doing you no good at all. In pleasing you,
I'm pleasing nobody. So I think I'll stop.
I want you to like me, respect me, admire me,
think I'm darned special, know I'm sublime.
Because I fear you'll hate me, scorn me, pity me,
think I'm a sad remnant of life, brand me inferior.
I fear that because deep down I believe it
despite all the evidence I can accumulate and demonstrate
and crow about to lead you to accept the "fiction" I act.
This program tells me what you think of me
is none of my business, and it reeks wrong, dangerous, ridiculous.
But I'm treating me then like I would never treat another being…
an animal, maybe even an insect. And I know when I'm pleasing you
by demeaning myself, I'm proving to myself I am nothing
and doing you no good at all. In pleasing you,
I'm pleasing nobody. So I think I'll stop.
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