History

I shall tell you of William Wallace. Historians from England will say I am a liar, but history is written by those who have hanged heroes. ~ Braveheart

I sit here paralyzed with fear of what someone else will think of me
and in that state I fail to do what I'm obligated to do,
fulfilling the prophesy I hear in my head of his critique of me.
It's so hard to believe what he thinks of me is none of my business.
But I know my own reaction not to what he thinks
but to what I think he thinks causes me to fail,
to act carelessly, to be so crippled, so inept, so stunned
my actions become culpable, become so awkward,
so bungling he could not help but then find fault.
My fear of criticism is a self-fulfilling prophesy
of the history that will be mine once I bungle into it.