Free Passes not Available for the Asking

Spirituality is not measured by who you are, but by how you live. Sinning, and then asking God to forgive your sins, conveys an attitude of self-importance—that because you have reached out to God, you earn a “free pass.” ~ Dean, Amy E. Morning Light: A Book of Meditations to Begin Your Day (Kindle Locations 1185-1198). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The things that are done...piously!
I've held elective office, and I've been
church staff in three churches,
an active volunteer in others.
Political manipulation? The churches win...
hands down. John Wesley was a minister...
but changed when he felt his heart
strangely warmed. He told his brother,
“By a Christian I mean one who so believes in Christ
as that sin hath no more dominion over him;
and in this obvious sense of the word
I was not a Christian till May the 24th last past.”
It's strange how many reach Recovery
proficient in scripture, liturgical history,
and the language of the church
to find in these rooms
a way of life that feels good, that is good,
that is how we want...and need...to live!

Love Is...

Love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem, a response to one’s own values in the person of another. —Ayn Rand

For years I turned away from pride,
aware I had no room to occupy that peak.
I knew...or so I believed...I deserved nothing good,
for I felt good for nothing.
But then I found Recovery
and came to believe a Power
greater than me, greater than anyone I knew,
loved me, believed in me, made me
a person who could be loved,
and came to understand
those people I admired
were admirable for me
because we had in common
an understanding of good
and that sometimes
we were admirable just as those prople
we easily admired.
We learned that love is an expression
and an assertion of self-esteem,
a response to our own values
in the person of another.

True Generosity

True generosity is an offering; given freely and out of pure love. No strings attached. No expectations. Time and love are the most valuable possession you can share. ~ Suze Orman

You pull to a drive-through window,
prepared to pay for the salads, but told
the car ahead paid your tab. You'll look cheap
if you don't pay for the next, feel guilty
when theirs is less than yours. Kind of nice,
but even more silly, and not even generous,
just keeping up appearances except maybe
the first car to pay. Nice, though,
a random act of kindness, no real demand
you join in. But a little trite.
You can be more original. Pure love.
No strings. No expectations. A real gift,
your time, your love, nothing in it for you,
your intentional anonymity.

No One Can Make Me Change

No one can make me change. No one can stop me from changing. No one really knows how I must change, not even I. Not until I start. I will remember that it only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change my life. ~ Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II (Kindle Locations 82-84).

God grant me the serenity
to change the things I can...
and the wisdom to understand
the only thing I can change is me,
though when I do change I know
others around me may change themselves,
the only thing that they can change.
If I have serenity to change who I can,
and wisdom to trust the One Who can,
I can begin to grow into who I need to be.

I Believe

Light is sweet,
and it pleases the eyes to see the sun.
However many years a man may live,
let him enjoy them all.
But let him remember the days of darkness,
for they will be many.
Everything to come is meaningless. Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
God will bring you to judgment.
So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless. Ecclesiastes 11:7-10 (NIV)

Shadow makes the painting.
Sorrow colors life, gives it depth.
A child draws with bright colors,
side by side
and we see it with loving eyes
so it touches us.
Youth and vigor offer great joy and fun perhaps,
but who would go back
and live it again
without change?
Life is good.
Live it.
Rejoice in life,
no matter what.

God, we can’t see the full tapestry of our lives
but we trust you,
the master weaver.
I believe.
Heal my unbelief.

Rollins, Barbara B.. A Time for Verse - Poetic Ponderings on Ecclesiastes (Kindle Locations 852-866).

Eagle Wings Press imprint

of Silver Boomer Books.

Kindle Edition.

All Power Is the Lord's

Waver not in your faith or in your prayers. All power is the Lord’s. Say that to yourself often and steadily. Say it until your heart sings with joy for the safety and personal power that it means to you. Say it until the very force of the utterance drives back and puts to naught all the evils against you. Use it as a battle cry. All power is the Lord’s. ~ Anonymous. Twenty Four Hours A Day: Meditations (p. 46). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

All power is the Lord's.
I need not be concerned
with lives calling for my management.
I need not worry
about getting my chores done
once I ask for help to
do what lies before me.
I need not be concerned
about television news.
I need not panic, fret,
become angry,
seek to turn things around,
All power is the Lord's.
I will chant my battle cry.
All power is the Lord's.
Thank the Lord for victory!

Flack

We don’t have to let flack pull us back into old ways if we’ve decided we want and need to change. ~ Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (p. 80). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Real dictionaries define flack
as an agent, "one who provides publicity;
especially a press agent, a public relations flack.
The Urban dictionary better approaches
how we know the word, a synonym for
rubbish: crap, or abuse;
excess pressure on oneself;
burdens or weight
added by unnecessary trials
or psychological pressures.
Flack is not desirable,
none of us want it,
but it adheres to us,
defining us if we let it.
But we don’t have to let flack
pull us back into old ways
if we’ve decided we want
and need to change.
We alone define ourselves
and we are free to become
the person with whom we wish to live!

...instead of treasure?
Walk with me to recovery.

Instant Inventory

We can take an inventory for a moment. What are we presently doing that makes us ashamed or angry or fearful? ~ Karen Casey, Each Day a New Beginning

The last three Steps are maintenance tools,
continued for life...but then again
the first nine aren't do-once-and-ignore.
Step Ten is, "Continued to take
personal inventory
and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it."
What are we doing
that makes us ashamed,
angry, or fearful?
We patch the mess while it's fresh
and sleep comes easily, guilt laid aside.
We think of the 10th step as a bedtime act
but "continued" and "promptly"
indicate ant time works, sooner being better.

What We Need to Learn

We learn what we will teach; we teach what we need to learn. ~ Karen Casey, Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course

The way to learn material is not to listen
to an explanation. Nor is it to read a treatise
on the subject. Nor is it to learn by trial and error.
No, the way to master a subject is to learn
what you can then to explain to someone else
how to do it. We learn what we will teach.
Then we can teach what we need to learn.
How often have you suddenly listened
to words you are saying only to suddenly grasp
that what you say is precisely what you need
most to understand?

Feeling Worthy

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. ~ Abraham Lincoln

We can assume Lincoln spoke
in the linguistic patterns of the day
and that the "man" could as well,
WOULD as well have included women.
And the man/woman being considered
would certainly have also included
the one hearing he statement.
So, the sixteenth POTUS was talking to me!
And it's true. It's difficult to be miserable
when I feel worthy of myself,
and for me, that can only happen
when I recognize my kinship
with the God of my understanding,
the Creator of the universe...and of ME!

Beyond Shame to Celebration

But we are expected to take our experiences and grow with them, to move beyond the shame of them, to celebrate what they have taught us. ~ Karen Casey, Each Day a New Beginning

Moving beyond shame
in the midst of a lifetime
of nothing but shame?
An oxymoron for sure...
the REAL Mission Impossible!
And we are EXPECTED
to grow from the escapades...
the exploits? Can't we just bury them?
And how do you move beyond them?
By moving toward sanity.
By admitting we are powerless,
that our lives have become unmanageable.
By coming to believe a Power greater than us
might restore us to sanity.
Because of the shame, the humiliation
deciding to give that Power a try,
by turning our lives, our wills
over to the Power then hearing others
admitting their shame, showing us the lives
turned over to the Power,
and seeing they can, they DO,
celebrate the surrender and the changed lives.

That Power Which Is God

Scripture foresaw that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, and announced the gospel in advance to Abraham: “All nations will be blessed through you.” So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. ~ Galaians 3:8-9 (Phillips New Testament)

 We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, page 46.

We, the intelligent,
the educated,
the leaders don't understand,
cannot make sense
of that which we know to be true.
We want to lead, to explain,
to interpret
the mystery that happened to us.
We understand
we've been here,
you're new
and you have questions
needing answers.
We can say, "It works!
The miracle happened,
is happening in our lives."
But to say more,
to give you resolution,
you'll just have to accept...
We can tell you it works,
that it did for us,
but just accept, believe.
and feel the miracle!

 

God, thank you for the change
we welcome,
forgive our
impulse to demand
understanding as well.

 

Thank God!

Thanking God every day is as necessary for me as breathing. ~  OvereatersAnonymous. For Today (Kindle Locations 784-785). Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.

Months ago I asked an app to remind me
on getting up to tell God, "Good morning!"
Since the first thing I do each morning is dogs...
carry a fat chihuahua, a feisty miniature poodle
bounding after me, then pausing at the utility room door
to wake an ancient once-soft coated wheaten terrier
and help him to stand, then guide the parade to the back yard,
and freshen the outdoor water, I normally wander through the chores
muttering the 3rd Step, 7th Step and Serenity Prayers, tagged with,
"Your will, not mine be done. Then among my morning readings
after breakfast today suddenly this one grabs my heart,
reminding me that gratitude is as necessary as breathing.
I wonder if in the morning and in days to come
the dogs will know the difference.
I know for a fact, though, God and I will!

Temperance and Abstinence

Abstinence is as easy for me as temperance would be difficult. ~ Samuel Johnson .

The strong-willed Samuel Johnson,
asked why he never touched wine, gave this answer.
That's well and good for him, but does it apply to milkshakes
as it does to wine or other intoxicants? I vote YES!!!
but search that question on the Internet to find emphatic no's.
In Overeaters Anonymous we find ourselves unable
to abstain from food but having to, as to milkshakes and trigger foods.
We have a substance — sugar — causing greater brain craving
than other addictions, while people assure us milkshakes
are easier to set aside than intoxicants.
Can we get some respect here?

Humiliated Loke a Stone

Before I was humiliated I was like a stone that lies in deep mud, and he who is mighty came and in his compassion raised me up and exalted me very high and placed me on the top of the wall. ~ Saint Patrick

A teenager, Patrick was a slave,
mucking manure in stalls,
kidnapped from family,
alone, used, young and ignorant.
Yet in that situation he heard truth,
found his God and forgiveness,
and followed his God's instructions,
escaping, fearing he would starve,
he prayed, saving himself and his companions
with a herd of wild boars.
From feeling like a stone in deep mud,
his newfound God, "he who is mighty"
came and in his compassion raised Patrick
up and exalted him so that
fifteen hundred years later
and half a world away
we celebrate his surrender
and see we, too, when we feel a stone in deep mud
can find a life of blessings and grace,
being raised up beyond our wildest dreams!

Borrowing Trouble

I can only borrow trouble at high interest rates. ~ Anonymous. A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People (Hazelden Meditations) (Kindle Locations 559-560)

The young among us may not remember
the recent history of interest rates.
Over the past 45 years, interest rates
on the 30-year fixed-rate mortgage
have ranged from as high as 18.63% in 1981...
But mortgage rates are low compared
to short-term loans, In 2008
Ohio's new Short-Term Lending Act caped
annual interest on short-term loans at 28 percent.
That rate would mean for every hundred borrowed
before you began to pay it back
you would have paid $28,
and if that was tough the upfront money would grow.
Not fun!! So, what does it mean to say,
"I can only borrow trouble at high interest rates?"
How do you borrow trouble?
To do something that is unnecessary
and likely to cause problems later.It can be like your mind scampering
out in front of you into the shadows
of the unknown where your imagination
conjures up a plethora of cinematic “what ifs”?
To look at borrowing trouble
compared to payday loans,
you work yourself into putting out fires
all around the matter
that should not even be, much less
to be a problem.  So tell yourself.
"I can only borrow trouble at high interest rates."

Dumping Out Stress

   Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength. ~ Charles Spurgeon

Worry debilitates.
Anxiety immobilizes.
Distress imobilizes.
Apprehension accentuates.
Concern harasses.
Consternation devastates.
Shrug off the burden of disease.
Discover the peace inherent in surrender.
Lay aside what troubles you
and find your gratitude buried
beneath the needless unrest.

 

It's a Relationship Problem

Anyway, I said something about not being equipped to do well in relationships. Then the weight-loss came up...and she says, “You know, that’s just a relationship, right? One with yourself." ~ Patricia M.

Relationship: [1] the way in which
two or more concepts, objects,
or people are connected,
or the state of being connected.
[2] the way in which two
or more people
or organizations
regard and behave
toward each other.
The issue of weight,
of addiction to food
for compulsive eaters like me,
or to alcohol, to drugs, to gambling...
to our curse — is it a relationship?
That makes sense, a relationship
with our scourge, our curse...
but then again is it with the addiction?
Or is she right it's a relationship
among me, myself and I?
We thought it was, that willpower
was the answer, that we were weak.
And we learn it's still up to us,
that we surrender to a Higher Power
and somehow we're no longer
tied to the whipping post,
subject to scourging.
"You know,
that’s just a relationship,
right? One with yourself!"

Heroes to Emulate

Understand, then, that those who have faith are children of Abraham. ~ Galatians 3:7 NIV

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Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, page 95

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We walk a new walk
that is old for others
but we who feel like dwarfs
and look on those well-placed
on the path
as giants on whose shoulders
we are allowed to stand.

Abraham was a man
plagued with doubt
prone to lie
questioning
but obeying
on whose life we look back
with twenty-twenty
hindsight
and admiration.
Those who went before
were not giants
nor are we when we've walked
some miles
but we must accept those
who see us as we perceived
or predecessors.

 

God, thank you for the progression
yielding progress
and heroes to emulate.

 

Forgive Them!

He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. ~  Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love and forgiveness are a pair,
more a part of each other than
separate contrasting states,
but the connectivity, the futility
of seeing them as contradictory,
the inherent yin and yang of the pair
enjoins our acknowledging he who is devoid
of the power to forgive
is devoid of the power to love.
It is a lesson we learn in inventorying
our resentments, our analyzing
our contribution, and eventually
our making amends for our part.
It is then we come to understand
there is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
And at that point the enmity we nursed for years
fades, yielding to the truth we no longer hate
and possibly a growing love for those
we once named as enemies.