Greatest Beauty

Sometimes the greatest beauty is in the darkest storm. ~ A. L. Jackson

A beautiful storm?Who lived through a hurricane, a tornado,
a hailstorm and carries the impression of a beautiful storm?
May, 1970, I woke in Brownfield, Texas. The newspaper
hadn't come, the radio station was only a buzz, and the sky?
The only green sky I've ever seen. When I reached work,
I learned a tornado had inflicted severe damage on Lubbock,
forty miles northwest. I remember the remarkable sky.
I wonder how many who had Stage 5 tornado damage
or hail recall it. But it was beautiful. The same is true of lesser storms.
Beauty goes unnoticed as fear prevails.
Storms of life bring destruction, grief, damage, and beauty, too.
My parents were married sixty-seven years. Daddy died on Christmas Eve.
Mother huddled in a wheelchair in at the cemetery in December wind.
A grandson and great grandson-in-law covered her with coats.
When Jim hugged her afterwards, she told him he looked cold, should have a coat.
At the church parlor afterwards, she manipulated her wheelchair with her feet,
greeting friends and relatives. The good memories outweigh the bad,
the beauty survives the storm. It's not so obvious sometimes,
but often you can find beauty prevails in recalling dark times.

Your Amalgamation

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” ~ Jane Howard

We are social animals. Take it from a loner,
a person who seldom participates in socializing,
who enjoys alone times, avoids idle conversation.
But going it alone is a great deal more likely
to facilitate addiction than recovery.I need you.
At meetings, visiting about Steps and Traditions,
reporting food, resentments, gratitudes, just hugging folks,
this way I hold onto the positive, solve problems
with your chance statements, and thrive.
Together we're better. I'm grateful you're here! 

Chaotic Lives

 Thou madest him a little lower than the angels; thou crownedst him with glory and honour, and didst set him over the works of thy hands:Hebrews 2:7 (KJV)
How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, “Who, then, made all this?” There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost. Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 46

When my life feels chaotic,
that’s not what’s intended,
not what can be, should be.
When I pause to look at the wonder,
the majesty,
the mystery all around, 
I know without a doubt
my internal chaos isn’t real,
isn’t natural,
isn’t what should be.
When I get out of the way
the world works like it was designed to work,
like chaos is fine, just beyond my ken.

God, erase my chaos,
my doubt, my mess,
and show me your mystery
and majesty and love.

From A Cloud of Witnesses

Hope

Today I know that no one is without hope. Indeed, the best hope is in the very admission of hopelessness. ~ For Today (Kindle Locations 1056-1057).

We come to recovery admitting we're powerless over addiction
and that our lives have become unmanageable. We may believe
that combination means we're hopeless. But we're not really
hopeless when we reach recovery. That very meeting
we hear others who have been where we are and who obviously
now have hope. When we grow enough hope to try the program
suddenly we, too have hope to share with those who feel none!

Reluctance

Some of the things I need to tell you...I don't want to tell you. ~ Kitt M

Secrets are my life. I've come to understand
it's for my own good, it's important to share,
for when I'm holding secrets I protect them,
my reputation, my self worth my ego
by reticence, by reticence. But when I do.
I sabotage my food plan, my abstinence,
my holding grudges, storing resentments,
my whole recovery by sealing my lips,
by trying to sell you the false picture that I'm perfect.
Some of the things I need to tell you...I don't want to tell you,
but I must!

A Spectrum

So also Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” ~ Galatians 3:6 (NIV)

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We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition (Kindle Locations 1207-1208).

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Credit, debit,
it's a spectrum,
a swinging door,
a teeter-totter.
It's more fun to be the have
than the have not,
to be able to give
than to need to take.
But what if the chips
are not symbols of money
but are blessings
life righteousness,
like love,
like understanding?
It's more fun to be the have
then as well
especially
because we lose none
of the blessings we share.

 

God, thank you for flowing blessings.
Give me the wisdom to pass them no
and see them expand to us all.

Be Happy

The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy. ~ Abraham

It's Not my job. I have the power to disappoint you,
to wrong you so it makes sense for you to become angry.
I can ask you to do something but I can't make you do it
though I may have authority or power to motivate you
to want to. Ir's possible my being happy and
your knowing I want that would have better results, though.
It is my job to be happy. I can be happy when I'm ill,
when I'm in pain, when things aren't going as I would choose.
Happy is not jocularity, not glee, not being carefree.
It is an internal condition, contentment, knowledge
that a power greater than I is in charge and the world
is safe and secure and I can trust that at some point glee will return.

Unity

Unity does not mean uniformity. In OA we learn we can disagree with other people on important issues and still be supportive friends. We listen to others with open minds, and we learn to express ourselves without insisting that everyone must do things our way. As we practice these new skills we begin to better understand ourselves and others. It becomes easier to find ways of doing things which meet everybody’s needs. ~ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous (Kindle Locations 1271-1274).

I was praised today for passing on a simple
but powerfully effective tip. That sometimes
a pleasant relationship can happen
when we agree to disagree. I remember
backseat empires, the fiefdom of one.
not to be crossed into by the other.
A line in the sand or seam in the upholstery
never to be crossed, the border between me and she.
On Wednesday, you can talk all you want,
I'll sit there sometimes smile and not ask for quiet.
But Thursday is my day, sit there with your book
and keep your comments to yourself.
Respect each other, and learn to endure
if not enjoy doing it someone else's way.

A Decision?

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision. ~ Paul Coelh

I had...or is that have? a problem with saying too often, "I'm sorry."
Memorably, many yeasts ago, Daddy said, "Don't be sorry. don't do it!"
Is my higher Perry, like my husband thinking the same thing?
If I'm sorry often for similar things am I really sorry?
Or have I made a decision to keep on doing what I like to do,
expressing contrition when it's noted?
It's contraindicated to proclaim, then,
"I offer myself to Thee to do with me and to build with me
as Thou wilt..."
I'm sorry, God, and I hear you.

Enough!

Here the destruction stops. We will heal ourselves, we will heal our wounded relationships, we will heal our children, we will heal our Nations. On this day, our future history begins ~ Bison, White. The Red Road to Wellbriety: In The Native American Way (Kindle Locations 128-130).

You are abstinent or you are not. No kinda's
no "close." Don't play with recovery,
figure you're good enough. You have a life to save...
your own, a family to rebuild, your own,
relationships to mend, repairing your place,
a community to restore, a world to put to rights.
Enough with enough, aim for reconciliation.

Gifted Intuition

When we place our will and our lives in God’s care in step three, we give God our intuition as well. Intuition is supposed to be God’s direct line into our minds and hearts, but our problems and our self-will have interfered with this connection. ~ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous (Kindle Locations 266-269).

Intuition is God's gift to us, but for it to work
as it can, for it to enhance out lives,
we need to surrender it, to turn it over
like a Stradivarius placed in a master's hand,
so the true masterpiece can resonate through
our lives.

More Important than Lung Breath

Breathing from my heart rather than from my mind - Lanaya B.

Life happens when the heart beats.
Living, though is not the mechanical
action of a pump. It is pulling the world
into your self, experiencing it, interacting with it,
and responding in light of the transformation,
the incorporation of that awareness,
and the enhanced life that moves forward.

Just Do It

My sponsor says she had found it unnecessary to do anything different than the first day she walked into this program...she does everything everybody suggests she do. ~ Jhe T

It's worth a try. We well know
the Big Book language, 
In thinking about our day
we may face indecision.
We may not be able
to determine which course to take.
Here we ask God for inspiration,
an intuitive thought or a decision.
We relax and take it easy.
We don’t struggle. So, if rely on this,
how does it come? Often from the words
of someone we trust. Or from literature
or, sometimes the very least-likely source
someone we don't  trust at all.
But despite that, it's from God.
Are we willing to count as rubbish
Eternal guidance? If it's not,
we can set it aside but who are we
to choose the vessel permitted to contain
inspiration, an intuitive thought,
or the correct decision?

Bread on Water

Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again. ~ Ecclesiastes 11:1 (NIV)

Bread upon the waters.
Bread. Food, sustenance.
Bread, the basics.
Bread, money, buying power.
Bread, life, hope,
our daily needs.
Bread.
Alone.
The side it’s buttered on.
So toss it.
Where?
Waters. Muddy, cool clear.
The Roman spa at Bath.
Oceans, streams,
down by the crick.
Any waters,
that’s the point,
waters move, leave, change, evolve.
Beyond my control.

What I value most,
what’s most basic to me,
I release, I toss,
trusting I’ll get it back,
in spades, God.
But remind me
the point is
I don’t keep control,
can’t do it for the promise.
Just believe.

Bread on Water

Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again. ~ Ecclesiastes 11:1 (NIV)

Bread upon the waters.
Bread. Food, sustenance.
Bread, the basics.
Bread, money, buying power.
Bread, life, hope,
our daily needs.
Bread.
Alone.
The side it’s buttered on.
So toss it.
Where?
Waters. Muddy, cool clear.
The Roman spa at Bath.
Oceans, streams,
down by the crick.
Any waters,
that’s the point,
waters move, leave, change, evolve.
Beyond my control.

What I value most,
what’s most basic to me,
I release, I toss,
trusting I’ll get it back,
in spades, God.
But remind me
the point is
I don’t keep control,
can’t do it for the promise.
Just believe.

Complicated People

It's a simple program for complicated people. ~  Program slogan

Am unmanageable life is not the norm...
except in the rooms of recovery.
How many "Normies" do you know
who would tell you they have no friends,
that they've wished they were dead
and considered instigating the journey?
How many can describe a relatively painless
and commonplace goal for their lives
but after dozens or hundreds of starts
cannot achieve the goal?
How many can argue over at least eighty
of the two-hundred one words
that make up the Steps, the exceptions being
nineteen to's, (not counting that before sanity,
seven of's, eight and's,
the a's not excluded because
there must be more than one most of the time...
and some of the  other humdrum words
can be challenged. A simple program,
complicated people,  but worth the effort...
in only to meet our equals!

Trying to Fix It

He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition (Kindle Locations 1010-1011).

When it doesn't go right, we balk, wanting to rub the show,
certain we can. It's not for lack of trying, for missing self-confidence,
surely we can do this, we're smart, capable folk, but if it weren't
for the people who get in our  way, who block our path!
Why won't they do the tight thing? Haven't we explained it well,
and often? Good grief! The answer is to give up! To surrender.
When we can imagine a power greater than we are and turn over
our ill and our lives, suddenly that power is ours and life works!

Becoming Capable

“Getting out of my own way gives me the freedom to rise to the highest level of which I am capable.” — For Today, p. 280

"I can do this by myself!"
One of our oldest and most durable illusions.
I tried, hard, for fifty years and it was absolute truth
when I reached the rooms of recovery, I
"admitted I was powerless over food —
that my life had become unmanageable."
That Step followed by the other eleven
finally taught me to give up. I learned to pray
in all situations, “God, I offer myself to Thee—
to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them
may bear witness to those I would help
of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!” And I became capable
by surrendering.

Vegan Junk Foods

Oreos, cake mixes, frosting, pudding,
marshmallow ice cream topping,
Taco Bell bean burrito and cinnamon twists,
chocolate syrup, Sofritos, bacon flavor bits,
crescent rolls, Ritz crackers, Pop Tarts,
pastry sweets, chocolate candy, flan,
Nutter Butter, granola bars, graham crackers,
Krispy Kreme cherry pies, New York bagels,
snickerdoodles, brownie mix...

A food plan can be written and followed
to fit your needs but having a healthy name
doesn't make it healthy or a wise choice.

Honesty and thoughtfulness are required.

Looking For Help in Wrong Places

Where I live is inside; nothing on the outside changes that. ~ ForToday (Kindle Location 272).

Changing me on the inside is not limited to
internal change. But changing everything  outside...
house, job, friends, family, car, location,
anything external, if the inside doesn't change at all,
it's window dressing, a coat of paint, and I remain
as miserable as I was, confused that I changed it all
and I'm as miserable as I was. But when I work the steps
in order, paying attention, I change from inside out,
becoming who I had been trying to be for years!

My Insides

Every man has his own courage, but is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's easy to be intimidated by others,
to admire what you see, to feel less than.
We cannot jude hem for their insides
for they remain hidden, unseen, a mystery.
But we know ourselves, the ugly failures,
the mistakes, the inadequacies.
As long as we remain isolated,
hiding in our chagrin, we see only that,
but the fine picture we experience in others,
feeling less than, blinds us to justice, to equity,
to our inherent value, to what others see,
for that long we refuse to see
the error of judging our insides by their outsides,

.

And We Ate

Our lives became unmanageable when the car wouldn’t start, the computer broke down, or our checking account wouldn’t balance. We suffered from other people’s unmanaged lives or from bad luck. What alternative did we have? We ate to sate the fears, the anxieties, the angers, the disappointments. We ate to escape the pressures of our problems. ~ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous 

Why do we eat? Why do we stuff our trigger foods into our mouths
long after we come to program, realize the value, know
the way out? We eat because our commitment, our honesty,
have not won our commitment, because we have not fully admitted
we're powerless, that the steps work, that were not the exception
to the necessity pf the Steps, We eat because we refuse to believe
we must turn our will and our lives over to the care of God
as we understand, because we trust the Steps to work miracles
despite us, not through our working them, because we still hold on
to a diet mentality, because we excel at rationalization.
Because we have not held on until the miracle happens.

Are you in here?What's your excuse?

Enduring Words

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow. ~ Ecclesiastes 1:9-11

The Teacher’s words belie the truth,
for we know him, hear him, remember him.
What about me?
My published writing,
more massive than his,
will likely swim in cyberspace and pixels,
unnoticed forever,
dampness, not even a drop,
in vast oceans of words.
And my sons? More durable than words?
They can glorify my name or make all revile it. "
So throw in life everlasting, stir up
the equation with concepts The Teacher never guessed.
What has been will be again.
Life never ends. Love never ends.
Praise God!

God, you are the same today
as you were in The Teacher’s day.
Thank you.

Climate Change in Perspective

 Generations come and generations go,

but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.

The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.

All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again. ~ Ecclesiastes 1:4-7 NIV

Has the time come for a rewrite?
The earth remains, forever?
Ice ages, sun spots,
cyclical anomilies,
The Teacher’s wisdom
epochs and eons before his time.
They say “some things never change.”
They say we’re a half degree warmer
than our greatgrands.
Isaiah chimed in “The arrogance of man will be brought low
and the pride of men humbled;
the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.”
Stewards we must be.
Responsibility?
Not ours. Thank God.

Thanks, God.

Social Media Not Needed

Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, television, and other public media of communication. ~ Tradition Eleven

When we play out our lives on Facebook and Twitter,
Instagram, Google +, or the other seventeen sites
with a million users or more, what do we do when
we have huge news we "need" to share with the world,
what do we do when to post our news we would violate
the Eleventh Tradition? We don't. We tell our program friends
at meetings, by text, a message program, by phone,
or or a communication even on social media exclusively available
to program people. Or one-on-one we may tell anybody
of the recovery, strength and hope we have found,
but only if we can share our own stories without
violating  the anonymity of anyone else. Our stories
need to be hear, Our meetings need to be found,
but we're not a cult of personalities, we're a source
if life-changing hope!

For the Long Term

Defense Attorney: Why would there be a presumption of innocence and a requirement for proof beyond a reasonable doubt written into our laws?
Venireman: Because of the Spanish Inquisition.

It's an answer I would not have reached. Maybe the thought of trial by ordeal/water/fire
an ancient judicial practice by which the guilt or innocence of the accused
was determined by subjecting them to an unpleasant, usually dangerous experience.
Classically, the test was one of life or death and the proof of innocence was survival.
But I'd heard of the Spanish Inquisition, of course. Theoretically the purpose
was to ensure the citizens of Fifteenth Century Spain be Christian,
renouncing Judaism or Islam, if they once had claimed them.
Of course, the vigor of "reform" and purification led to the execution of
thousands. Execution was often by burning alive, but those who repented were
killed with an iron collar before being burned.
History haunts us, as nations, as individuals, as groups. If we judge others
rather than allowing them to live with their own decisions,
we build a past of oppression, of unfairness, of setting ourselves above others.
It's far better to allow others to exist on their own terms, offering hope to those
who want what we have, but remembering what they do is none of our business,
what they think of us is none of our business. But we'll offer all who seek it hope and serenity.

Outside Issues

Overeaters Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the OA name ought never be drawn into public controversy. ~ Tradition Ten

Eight-and-a-half years ago I attended my one and so-far only
San Antonio OA meeting. A member there wondered aloud
whether she could say what she wanted to, decided it was okay
and announced she was leaving town the next day to campaign
in New Mow many newcomers on hearing that
would turn their backs on OA? What good would it do?
In meetings here we often have patients of a "center
specializing in the treatment of eating disorders,
including anorexia, bulimia, food addiction, binge eating
and compulsive overeating," We grow lax in pointing out
the failures to live up to this Tradition, but it is a violation
for them and for us. We can be supportive of their recovery
yet communicate it's that center's policies and not OA's.
OA has no opinions on outside issues, either pro or con.

Getting There

You think that the goal is to be over there, and we say the goal is the journey over there; the goal is the fun you have along the way on your way to over there. ~Abraham

Daddy driving a Studebaker, later a Buick three girls in the back seat,
Mother beside him. When "Are we there yets" grew old,
old "I spy" and "Twenty Questions" had run their course,
we sang. "Skidamarink a dink a dink,
Skidamarink a doo, I love you." "You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine." "When you wore a tulip, a sweet yellow tulip
And I wore a big red rose..." with Daddy's basso "a big red rose..."
Some of my sweetest childhood hours were road trips,
the getting there. I never thought the process could be fun
in reaching a life of recovery. But some magic number on the scales
or tape measure cannot replace the intrinsic joy of day after day of serenity, of living in a happy family,  my family of choice.

Getting There

You think that the goal is to be over there, and we say the goal is the journey over there; the goal is the fun you have along the way on your way to over there. ~Abraham

Daddy driving a Studebaker, later a Buick three girls in the back seat,
Mother beside him. When "Are we there yets" grew old,
old "I spy" and "Twenty Questions" had run their course,
we sang. "Skidamarink a dink a dink,
Skidamarink a doo, I love you." "You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine." "When you wore a tulip, a sweet yellow tulip
And I wore a big red rose..." with Daddy's basso "a big red rose..."
Some of my sweetest childhood hours were road trips,
the getting there. I never thought the process could be fun
in reaching a life of recovery. But some magic number on the scales
or tape measure cannot replace the intrinsic joy of day after day of serenity, of living in a happy family,  my family of choice.

Experts

OA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. ~ Tradition Nine

The groups I regularly attend know I find the statement
OA, as such, ought never be organized,  humorous,
believing we excel at this directive. But the OA 12 and 12
goes on to ask valid questions: Do we practice rotation of leaders
in our group? Do we discuss how rotation of leadership relates
to personal humility and the OA foundation of anonymity?
It can seem like when things are going well,
when we actually feel organized, why upset the applecart?
Nobody has a right to always lead, to handle the money,
to do the website or newsletter. Maybe the member who's
always done "it" makes seem simple, makes us feel inadequate,
inept. ut rotation of service is what we do, who we are,
how we become who and what we can be and do.
When asked to serve, the answer is yes.

Amateur

Overeaters Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers. Tradition Eight

"Amateur hour" can be a term of of derision. The Urban Dictionary says,
"Something that is done sloppily, half-assed, or in an amateur manner."
When we declare Overeaters Anonymous should be always non-professional, Are we saying it must be amateur? But is amateur a negative word?
Inherently it simply means without compensation, for the love of it.
We're been to enough weigh and pay organizations. We don't need another. Thanks, but we'll continue to manage OA and to choose folks who do it for us for the love of the program — for gratitude for a program
that works miracles in lives.

Prayer of Jabez

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request. ~ 1 Chron. 4:10 (NIV) 

The Bible says Jabez' mother chose his name
for the pain he caused her st birth.
Many of us look back at childhood affronts
holding these as grudges...resentments for years.
But Jabez lived with his for years and as an adult
understood God to not be a judgmental tyrant
who set his mind and held that worldview
but one who cared for people
So he asked to be free from pain, not
the entity his mother created, and God as Jabez understood
responded gr

anting his wish to structure his life
aligned with a purpose of freeing those around him from pain.

Huw Much Is Iy Worth?

Every OA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. ~ Seventh Tradition

What was life like...before?
All you can eat buffet, Nine Ninety-Nine, plus tax.
A  box of donuts...for the office, though they don't get there,
Another Nine Ninety-Nine, plus tax.
Two half gallons of Blue Bell so one will be left
when the family gets home, Eleven Ninety-Four.
Four new dresses because nothing fits,
a hundred at least. A month of Nutrisystem,
Two hundred Ninety-Nine Ninety-Nine
a month. How much is a program that actually works worth?
The suggested donation is Three dollars a meeting. Or more.
Worth every penny, it is!

Outside Enterprizes

An OA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the OA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. ~ Tradition Six

Where we meet, what treatment program
sends their people, who lets us meet in their building,
what people write,whether the subject is recovery or not,
these are outside enterprises, strings that may ask to attach,
gimmicks, stockholders demanding that money be made
or hoping for some benefit. We pay rent, carry our load
and hold proudly to our right and duty to be self-supporting.

Primary Purpose

Each group has but one primary purpose— to carry its message to the compulsive overeater who still suffers. ~ Tradition Five

It's easy to see our purpose
as we talk to newcomers.
That's also true o

f people returning
from relapse. What about the membership as a whole?
When we mention those who still suffer
inside and outside the fellowship
are we really conscious some in the circle
have been coming back for years
trying to grasp the recovery they sense
but can't seem to grasp? Our responsibility
is clear: “Always to extend the hand and heart
of OA to all who share my compulsion;
for this, I am responsible.”
May our eyes  and ears remain open
to see who suffers.

Autonomous

Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or OA as a whole. ~ Tradition Four

How do we answer these challenges
to us as individuals, as OA groups,
and as a Fellowship? Are we willing
to strike a healthy balance
between our responsibility for ourselves
and our responsibility to each other?
Can we  grow together and work together
as companions in recovery?
Tradition Four effectively dares us
to retain our uniqueness as members,
as groups and as a fellowship to do
what needs to be done to keep OA vibrant.

The Only Requirement

The only requirement for OA membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively. -Tradition Three

We welcome newcomers well,
understand where they come from,
remember the desperation we felt
when we got here. Usually
we treat those returning from relapse
kindly as well, knowing but for grace
w could be them. But are we as willing
with other members who accept
responsibility and let us down
to acknowledge their right to belong?
What if the have violated our anonymity?
Can we say as to them sincerely,
the only qualification to belong
Is the desire to still eating
compulsively?
Is love truly the greatest
commandment, the golden rule for us?

Injustice Collectors

Have you been wronged,
decided the person doing it
should pay for what they did?
Was it more than a thought?
Is there an evolving plan
to secure your own justice?
A prime example
of your injustice collection
Then it's time to change course!
“Make a searching and fearless
moral inventory of yourself.”
And discover what your part is
in the wrong done, how you
probably began the avalanche.

Trust the Result

Then we discuss the matter carefully, we vote on alternatives, and we trust that the decision we reach together is our Higher Power’s will. ~ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous (Kindle Locations 1307-1308).

Tradition Two: For our group purpose 
there is but one ultimate authority — 
a loving God as He may express Himself 
in our group conscience. 
Our leaders are but trusted servants; 
they do not govern.
Winston Churchill said of the 1066 Magna Carta,
the agreement imposed on King John
by the nobility after defeating him at Runnymede,
"Here is a law which is above the King.”
There is a law above the leaders whether they be
trustees or kings, whether  they hold office for a term
or for life like generations before them.
Real government is reached by a meeting of the minds,
by wisdom, distillation, smelting, discussion, group conscience.
We trust decisions made by group conscience
for we understand if the original resolution reached
misses the mark, the process will address the issue again until
the ideal result reveals itself.

Responsibility

It is every member’s responsibility to protect the OA spirit of unity and mutual support. And, when it comes our turn to lead an OA meeting, tradition one makes it our responsibility to lovingly remind individuals of the group’s guidelines whenever the group conscience is being ignored. ~ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous (Kindle Locations 1225-1227). Protecting the spirit of unity and mutual support.

How many members would agree
to lead a meeting if they grasped
that obligation came along
with reading a couple sheets of paper?
I remember few meetings of
thirty-five hundred or so where
it's come up. But I do recall once.
He was new, the only time he came
but believed everything said needed his response,
his correction. And we were blessed
to have a longtime member there. I recall her careful
description of the procedures, her encouragement
to respect others, her gentle and loving tone.
He may not have benefitted but the rest of us
at that table did...and I'm guessing thy, like I
recall it still. It is my responsibility to be willing to lead
and to protect the OA spirit of unity and mutual support.

Responsibility

It is every member’s responsibility to protect the OA spirit of unity and mutual support. And, when it comes our turn to lead an OA meeting, tradition one makes it our responsibility to lovingly remind individuals of the group’s guidelines whenever the group conscience is being ignored. ~ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous (Kindle Locations 1225-1227). Protecting the spirit of unity and mutual support.

How many members would agree
to lead a meeting if they grasped
that obligation came along
with reading a couple sheets of paper?
I remember few meetings of
thirty-five hundred or so where
it's come up. But I do recall once.
He was new, the only time he came
but believed everything said needed his response,
his correction. And we were blessed
to have a longtime member there. I recall her careful
description of the procedures, her encouragement
to respect others, her gentle and loving tone.
He may not have benefitted but the rest of us
at that table did...and I'm guessing thy, like I
recall it still. It is my responsibility to be willing to lead
and to protect the OA spirit of unity and mutual support.

Teachable

Once we have become teachable, we can give up old thought and behavior patterns which have failed us in the past, beginning with our attempts to control our eating and our weight. ~The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous (Kindle Locations 121-122).

How do we know we're teachable?
Able and willing to learn,
capable of being taught,
allowing something to be taught or learned easily.
It seems the key words may be willing and easily.
It seems obvious that willingness is good,
but is easily required? Probably we can learn
when repetitive statements are hammered in...
or we write them on a blackboard (my generation),
a whiteboard...or a computer without cut-and-paste...
but receptiveness must come into play or we've
participated in tedium sufficient to spark resentment
but not learning. With real learning, recovery results from
surrender, from a decision to turn our thoughts Higher Power
as we understand. teachable is not only Step 1 but 2 and 3 as well.

Education

Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel. ~  Socrates

Recovery can begin with a sudden experience.
An appendix to the Big Book says, "our first printing 
gave many readers the impression 
that these personality changes, or religious experiences, 
must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals."
Maybe, sometimes they are. But even then learning...
education is essential. By growing into understanding of the steps
and the wisdom of decades passed on to us, we become recovered.
From the very beginning of the movement, the fellowship declared:
"We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body."No matter how suddenly your recovery began, it's worth the work needed
to have a warming fire as the heartfelt center of recovery.

Dealing With Depression

When a person with substance abuse enters treatment and begins to live a life of sobriety, losing your routine and attempting to face reality can be a serious source of anxiety ­– even driving you into depression. ~ Shanthi Mogali, M.D.

Do you miss sugar or your personal drug of choice?
Enough even to be depressed and ashamed of the missing
and of the depression? Don't worry. You're not alone.
What is depression? How do you know you have it?
Do you sleep more...or less?
Are the fun things in life less fun, less interesting/
Are you tired all the time, exhausted easily?
Does your mind wander, do you have trouble concentrating
do tasks not get done or take forever?
Appetite problems may result from depression,
but if you're in Overeaters Anonymous
talk to your sponsor, dietitian or medical professional.
If you've lost your sense of worth or of hope?
How would you rate your sense of hope or worth?
Would a counselor be upset with that?
Or with your sense of anxiety?
Would you prefer to go tp sleep and not wake?
When we come to recovery we are abandoning
our go-to remedy for dealing with life.
Depression is serious. Is yours significant enough
to need professional help?

Five Stages of Grief

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally, thankfully, Acceptance.
I didn’t get sober because I reached Acceptance, I got sober because I knew if I didn’t stop drinking, I would die. And, there was a part of me that was stubborn and that part wanted desperately to see my children grow up. No, more than that, I wanted to be an important, positive, part of their life. You cannot be an addict and a role model; the former cancels out the latter. In order to make a difference in their life, I had to get sober. ~ Alaina

Have you worked through the grief stages
as to your addiction? Did you deny you had a problem?
I did...from age thirteen to a month short of sixty!
What about anger? It's not fair for everybody else
to eat what they want? I deserve Blizzards and apple fritters!
Bargaining? I'll eat nothing on Thursdays and what
I want the other six days. I'll not eat lunch, just have a treat.
I'll follow a diet weekdays, but I can eat what I want
on weekends. No apple fritters, just a Blizzard each day?
Depression? It's just not fair! Am I never ever
to have good stuff again? How is life going to be worth living?
There's nothing there? I live in nothingness. I'm so lonely,
so tired all the time. Just let me sleep until life is over.
I'll never know joy again. My life is constant shame.
I'm worthless, a failure, who doesn't deserve the good!
Acceptance? No way. I've been horrible to everyone around me.
My kids paid the price for the dysfunctional family,
and I just let it happen. But there are ways to make it better.
I can accept that a Power can exist, able to take over.
I can decide ti let that happen. I can figure out
who I wronged and admit it. I can change,
quit doing things I hate and release the defects.
I can make amends and learn
to live in acceptance one day at a time.
I really can accept a life of eating food that nourishes me
and abandon – willingly – those that would kill me if I
held on to them. I can live – thrive – in recovery.

Benefits List

Even more helpful in maintaining motivation over time, though, has been my “benefits of not drinking” list. This list grows longer and more detailed every week, and the process of revising and adding to the list has helped me experience life without wine as liberating and empowering rather than as punishing and self-abnegating. A key question: Who do I get to be without alcohol? ~ Elspeth

It's easy to justify, to argue internally
this one won't matter,
I'll get right back on program. 
Just this time it won't matter.
Maybe it won't. More likely it will!
So, how can you hold onto abstinence,
move past the rationalizations?
Use the tools...go to a meeting,
call a friend, visit with your sponsor,
read program literature, write about it,
use a food plan, an action plan, give service,
honor anonymity. And if these don't work?
Look at the writing you did. Was it on point?
Try a list of "Abstinence Benefits."
How would yours start? Mine?
No sugar high to work through.
No trash to stash before anyone sees.
No need to repeat the debauchery tomorrow.
No reason to lie, no need to wonder
if re-establishment is required.
No guilt, no self-flagellation,
the ultimate goal of a healthy body weight
that much closer to fact.
So, what's on your Abstinence Benefits list?