It’s a Tool I Use

Overeaters Anonymous recognizes nine tools: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, action plan, anonymity and service. This Recovery Daily Dose has continued now for four thousand forty-four days, of using tools. The tool of writing, yes, but perhaps more than that The tool of service. I offer this up to the public trusting the people who might need it will see it at the time it might be an act of service to them.

Perspective

Relentless days wrest center stage from forebears hardly ripe as calendars slough off each page with calibrated swipe. From Gerber pears to bubble-gum seems but a month or less and calculus replaces sums like tic-tac-toe to chess. So halt that whirling dervish time; suspend it by sheer will and patty-cake to nursery rhyme while child is cuddly still.

Good Morning!

Keep it simple. Start it right. It's a new day. Start by taking dogs out, repeating the Third Step Prayer as the water's freshened, then circling the yard several times saying the Seventh Step Prayer, the Serenity Prayer, then the OA Promise, followed by prayers for abstinence, for loved ones and family, the prayer list sometimes shortened as one friend says, "for everyone!" Then inside. No need for originality. the same breakfast virtually every day. Well thought through, it sets the day, the meals are for sustenance, not for entertainment. Dogs eat first, husband next then my oatmeal, an egg cooked in, a serving of fruit added, and it's time for morning readings, food for the body and for the soul, a true Good Morning!

I Will Not Tell You!

I ate three planned meals today, meals that met the meal plan I choose. But truth be told, I wandered through the kitchen when the plan was to eat nothing and instead I nibbled, not enough to impact the scales when I weigh myself for the month in six days, but I ate off the plan. But I won't tell you. I'll let you read about it, and I'll talk it over with God, but I might pull you away from the perfect abstinence I wish I'd held onto today, and I'll pray you don't use my weakness to justify your not telling what you do today!

Inability to Love Ourselves

We name as ills of our society sexual promiscuity and addiction to legal and illegal substances, including food. In every case the underlying cause is an inability to love oneself fully as God loves each of us. As a result we try to lose ourselves in activities and behaviors that seem fulfilling and exciting but are really desperate attempts to experience the love that is lacking within ourselves. The answer to our problem is to seek God and the love of God within us. ~ Brooks, Gennifer Benjamin. Bible Sisters (p. 142). Abingdon Press. Kindle Edition. This author understands addiction, the substances we use when disgusted with living in the threefold disease a progressive, dangerous, and slow-killing disease of mind, body, and spirit. When we up to our chins in the misery and the underlying cause which is an inability to love ourself fully as God loves each of us. As a result we try to lose ourselves in activities and behaviors that seem fulfilling and exciting but are really desperate attempts to experience the love lacking within ourselves. The answer to our problem is to seek God and the love of God within us. God, help me find the ability to love myself!

Twelve Years Three Months Three Weeks Later

The poem is old..about 49 months old. I came to Overeaters Anonymous December 17th, 2007, returning to the car with cappuccino and an apple fritter, and sitting down alone in the car, spoke aloud, "This is stupid!" Of course I was sure God agreed. I drove on, taught Sunday school, and went home to figure out how to reach O.A. I found a meeting Wednesday mornings at eight. But that was the time I met with my counselor, the woman who had given me the book that had me convinced. I saw her instead, but looked up the meeting, already knew the contact person. Christmas Eve I fell in my kitchen, hurting my rotator cuff. Christmas day I was miserable but let it be so I could fly to London two days later, miserable stuffed into the middle seat. I looked for Internet cafes and emailed my O.A. round-the-world support folks every chance I got, returned home into 2008 and through Christmas and the trip still weighed the same. Getting the Wednesday appointment changed and showing up for a snowed out meeting I finally got to a meeting. Never got a newcomer chip but took one for thirty days. I took a service position early, traveling around the Southwest, serving with folks from around the world, learning and growing. Now twelve years three months and three weeks later, I hate to imagine life without O.A.!

I Decided to Be Me

Anyone who would take such a path must be mad. I was terrified. But then, at the moment of my greatest despair, from my unconscious there came a sequence of words, like a strange disembodied oracle from a voice that was not mine: “The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.” Even if it meant being crazy and out of step with all that seemed holy, I had decided to be me. ~ Peck, M. Scott. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth (pp. 124-125). Touchstone. Kindle Edition.

Even if it meant being crazy and out of step with all that seemed holy, I had decided to be me. What wisdom, and how valuable, to a young man at the point of striking out, selecting a different path based on the sudden insight, “The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.” Most of us have many years' more experience, more natural insight but do you even now see the truth that “The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.” Can you find security in looking at these trying times and understanding “The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.”?

Grace as a Verb

I’m more comfortable with grace as a noun, either a proper noun or elegance, ladylike… But the more interesting usage is as a verb, to dignify, elevate, honor, enhance, ennoble… God, may I strive to contribute, shine, improve the world as I live in big moments and small. May I be a welcome addition rather than a distraction. May I live grace!

We Are the Fellowship

Then I went to Syria and Cilicia. I was personally unknown to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. They only heard the report: “The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.” And they praised God because of me. ~ Galatians 1:21-24 (NIV) After several failures to find others, a fourth turned up. He came through an acquaintance who had heard the good news. (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 158)

Our reputation precedes us, follows us, defines us among people we'll never meet. What do they say of us? Does it matter? "What you think of me is none of my business." But is it really true? Does it matter what people say? What if they say it about me as a member of the fellowship? What if my behavior is the only view some people have of the rooms? Do they stay away, not wanting what we have? Do they praise God because of me? God, let me be an instrument of your peace.

Blinders Needed

...which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. ~ Galatians 1:7 (NIV) Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. Leaving aside the drink question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory. They show how the change came over them. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. (Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 50-51)

I trust only me and chase my tail, follow a trailblazer to deserts I despise, flit like a butterfly, flower to flower to flower, drift like a balloon to popular causes, the thing du jour. As long as I'm my own higher power, or I choose other lower higher powers, I wander, dissatisfied. Once I become conscious of the Presence of God, I know the path to all I want or need God, sometimes I need  blinders. When I'm distracted, nudge me.

To Validate Yourself

…sometimes, it’s not about changing what you believe. It’s an opportunity for you to validate yourself and your beliefs. ~ Beattie, Melody. More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 242). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Recovery facilitates our evolution, our becoming, our changing who we are from to who we wish to be. We have a roadmap called the Steps, a guide called the God of our understanding and we have become accustomed to change. Sometimes, though, what feels like change is really a check-up, a reality scrutiny perhaps. Validation of someone else involves expressing understanding and acceptance, offering understanding and affirmation. Most of us in Recovery need understanding and affirmation as we make changes, and it’s neat from someone else but welcome when we come to see that our thoughts and feelings are justified. It’s good to have an opportunity to validate ourselves and our beliefs!

Trusting the Creator

All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

What have we seen that makes us trust God as we understand God? We have seen changes in our own lives and attitudes. We have seen changes in our lives we couldn't have made on our own. We have seen anger, jealousy, contempt, and resentment leave our thinking, our attitudes. We have seen the praise we offer to God not help God who needs nothing from us but aide us in releasing what is meaningless or dead in our lives and making room in our lives for what is eternal and alive. God calls us to release what is meaningless or dead and to make room in our lives for the go0d. We praise God not because God needs to receive praise but because we need to give it responsibly due to God’s love for us.

Failure … to Discover Peace

Trying to control anyone else can become habitual. But success will never be lasting. The irony is that failing is actually how we discover what peace feels like. ~ Casey, Karen. Each Day a Renewed Beginning (p. 10). Mango Media. Kindle Edition.

When we decide to take on the god-role we fail at the task. But failing really is actually how we discover what peace feels like. May you discover peace this day and during myriad days to come!

True Comfort

“True comfort is to be found in the balance and sanity of abstinence. So deep and pure is this comfort that it is well worth whatever trouble or pain I might have to pass through to attain it.” ~ Overeaters Anonymous. For Today, p. 253

Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Abstinence is sanity, liking who I am. Abstinence is a lifeboat! I'll stay in the lifeboat!” Thank God for true comfort and lifeboats.

Rejoicing in the Morning

Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. ~Psalm 30:4-5 NIV

We have today, the present. We no longer have yesterday, have not come into possession of tomorrow. But God keeps gifting to us the present and as long as we avoid edging God out, his gifts are as we would give to those dearest to us! His favor lasts a lifetime; and rejoicing comes in the morning. Thanks be to God for the present!