Here I Am, God, Available, Willing to be used

 

As a result, other Jewish Christians followed Peter’s hypocrisy, and even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. ~ Galatians 2:13 (NLT)

I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 1)

Managing with the utmost assurance —
yep, rings true, I’ve been there.
Peter, simple fisherman transformed
to key carrier, not just for a meeting
but to the kingdom all in a few short years.
How fearful he must have been,
how often.
Do I need a report from his POV?
No. No need to take his inventory,
just mine.
When I find myself a leader
by vote of peers or default,
my responsibility lies not
in keeping waters calm
but in being qualified to lead,
allowing that to come from
a power far greater than I,
and seeking daily the power’s directive
and
the will and courage
to lead there.

God, I offer myself.
While I’d prefer anonymity,
I’m willing to yield
to your plan.