What Is Really Important?

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything—all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. ~ Steven Jobs in a Stanford University 2005 commencement address

Imagine a cancer diagnosis being
the most important tool
I’ve ever encountered
to help me make the big choices in life.Certainly there’s truth there,
it narrows down what is really important!
Certainly, there is no reason
not to follow your heart.
Where does your heart lead you?

Stephen Paul Jobs

Don’t Look Back or Live in Tomorrow

We have today and can change what happens today.
We cannot change one thing from yesterday.
We can change what we do today
and that that may effect tomorrow
but that is not a given.
We have only today, the present,
another day for a gift.
A gift is what it is,
Let us not waste it, obsessed by the past
or the future. Let us revel in our present
And may we make it a gift to all we meet!

Twelve Years Three Months Three Weeks Later

I came to Overeaters Anonymous December 17th, 2007,
returning to the car with cappuccino and an apple fritter,
and sitting down alone in the car, spoke aloud, “This is stupid!”

Of course I was sure God agreed. I drove on, taught Sunday school,
and went home to figure out how to reach O.A.I found a meeting Wednesday mornings at eight.
But that was the time I met with my counselor,
the woman who had given me the book
that had me convinced. I saw her instead,
but looked up the meeting, already knew the contact person.

Christmas Eve I fell in my kitchen, hurting my rotator cuff.
Christmas day I was miserable but let it be
so I could fly to London two days later,
miserable stuffed into the middle seat.

I looked for Internet cafes and emailed
my O.A. round-the-world support folks
every chance I got, returned home into 2008
and through Christmas and the trip
still weighed the same.

Getting the Wednesday appointment changed
and showing up for a snowed out meeting
I finally got to a meeting. Never got a newcomer chip
but took one for thirty days.

I took a service position early,
traveling around the Southwest,
serving with folks from around
the world, learning and growing.
Now twelve years three months and
three weeks later, I hate to imagine
life without O.A.!

Power

When we understand that we are truly powerless over other people, but not ourselves, we discover our willingness to change. The 12 Steps give us a blueprint to follow to become self-confident and assertive – the very type of person we had always avoided but secretly wanted to be all those years. We begin to attract others who are self-confident. ~ bkcoates.com/trait-five/

When we understand
that we are truly
powerless over other people,
but not ourselves,
we discover
our willingness to change.Sometimes we’re not willing
to change us. We’re still inclined
to run the world, to be the director.
Each person is like an actor
who wants to run the whole show;
is forever trying to arrange the lights,
the ballet, the scenery
and the rest of the players
in his own way.
If his arrangements would only stay put,
if only people would do as he wished,
the show would be great.*It’s tougher to let God run the show,
including us!
But that’s the only way to
actually become
who we’ve always wanted to be!

*Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 5.

Image Copyright Ijupco

In Touch with Your Soul

To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude . . . because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions. ~ Deepak Chopra

Getting in touch with your soul.
It’s good advice, yes?
The question is how to go about it!
Could it be the unexpected dividend
of isolation, of television that speaks
of nothing else? You and your soul
have no such requirements,
feel free to to experience solitude . . .
because in the silence
you may well hear the truth
and know the solutions.
May God comfort you
and enrich you mightily!
Peace be with you.

County of Fairfax, Virginia, © Copyright 2017

Good People

How wonderful to be wise,
to analyze and interpret things
Wisdom lights up a personʼs face,
softening its harshness. ~ Ecclesiastes 8:1

Dogs know good people.
People can, too.
We become on the outside
as we are inside.

God, fix me, inside and out.

Barbara B. Rollins, A Time for Verse
Poetic Ponderings on Ecclesiastes

Equal Footing

True friendship can occur only among equals. ~ Plato

One amazing fact about most,
if not all, people who come
to Overeaters Anonymous
have, as long as they can remember
perceived the universe as consisting of
perhaps some on a higher step of a ladder
than the new member, though very few,
and the majority further down.
But we soon learn we’re nether higher than lower.
but equal with all. And as time goes on,
we become fast friends, becoming often
our very closest confidants, our favorite pals.

Image Copyright : Kheng Ho Toh

Outside Issues

Having opinions on outside issues was one of my top forms of insanity. Learning to just listen and be present for others was a major step into the sanity of recovery. ~ Overeaters Anonymous. Taste of Lifeline. Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

I learned to avoid outside issue conversations
before I got to Recovery to be honest,
it’s my predisposition. I don’t enjoy…
have never revelled in…standing up for issues
when others disagree. It’s called people-pleasing
and counts as a character defect!
But add to that my profession prohibited
expressing my opinion on any subject
under the sun, the moon, or dusk or dawn
that could ever possibly come up on the job.
I never found such a topic in decades on the job!
But Tradition Ten directs, “Overeaters Anonymous
has no opinion on outside issues;
hence the OA name ought never
be drawn into public controversy.”
Without having need to express
an opinion I learned how jarring
a breach of the Tradition could be.
Attending a 2008 meeting where I was a stranger
as well as a relative newcomer to O.A.
a woman said that after the meeting
she was leaving for a neighboring State
to campaign for a presidential candidate
I could not imagine supporting.
these dozen years later I know
I can never ever interject such a fact
in a meeting! I am O.A. and I owe that
to each person in the Rooms of Recovery!

Loving Me

How hard can it be to love myself?
Believe it or not, it’s a sizable challenge!
You have to assume it’s easy….
Didn’t Jesus as near as say so
when he listed the most important commandments?
Love the Lord your God with all tour heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind
and with all your strength. Then second-most
important, Love your neighbor as yourself!
So first I have to conquer loving me!
I don’t feel that. The childhood stance holds tight:Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
I think I’ll go eat worms!
It doesn’t compute. I can love other people.
Can we change the order?
Love your neighbor as yourself?
I have trouble with that other song…
Jesus loves me, this I know
for the Bible tells me so.
Well, the Bible tells me God loves me
and that Jesus loved his followers…
but me? As I seek and seek and seek
I can become convinces Jesus loves me
and that same seeking says God loves me,
Jesus loves me, and it’s okay to love
for I am loved and I can love
my neighbors and myself.

Press On

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 3:13–14 NIV

I’m nowhere near “there.”
I’m darned sure I’ve not yet
taken hold of the goal
nor approached the prize.
But it gives me comfort
that Paul could feel the same!
And I totally trust the goal
remains available as well as
that I’m moving in the right direction,
that the prize is available for me
and that as long as I strain
toward what is ahead,
and that Hod calls me heavenward
and invites me to win the prize.
May I live love and trust the plan
and continue on the path!

Image Copyright : Bruce Rolff

These Rooms of Recovery

We came to these rooms
in a spirit of desperation
utterly defeated by food,
ashamed of insane eating.
We stay in these rooms
in amazement, grateful
to have found folks of our ilk.
We urge you to join us
in this triumph oh love
where we lay aside obsession
for a spirit of jubilation!

It's Important

Lines in a poem I wrote about my father:
How many months have I failed to call home?
I don’t tend to make phone calls
even to people I love! That hundred pound phone
we speak of in Recovery is mightily true for me.
But I got a good sponsor after two who
did not work and at her suggestion
I agreed on a schedule to call her.
The best of intentions fell by the way,
and I was late or forgot several times.
She told me she had set the time aside for me.
that if it wasn’t important to me
she had other things to do.
That was eight and a half years ago
and I’ve seldom missed a scheduled call.
The calls are important to me
and I do not leave her waiting
for a call that does not come!

Plugged in to Spirit

Think of a time when you felt that life was miraculous: watching early-morning light fill a mountain valley, holding your newborn baby in your arms for the first time, or maybe looking up into the vast night sky ablaze with stars. Every one of us has had at least one moment when our appreciation for life was so intense, it became awe. It’s at those times, when you feel both humbled and exalted, that you know you’re plugged in to Spirit. ~ Shimoff, Marci. Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out (p. 184). Atria Books. Kindle Edition.

When were you last plugged into Spirit?
Are the days becoming humdrum?
As you wait patiently — or impatiently —
for life to resume its normal pace,
have you found time for Spirit?
for going within and reaching out,
seeking the comfort, the solace,
of being created, being loved,
of understanding your blessings
even beyond reach right now?
When were you last plugged into Spirit?

Image Copyright : Pop Nukoonrat

A Fearless and Searching Moral Inventory

We blame our circumstances on others.
We were not at fault. The world was against us.
Then we found our way into these rooms,
the Rooms of Recovery. We wanted what we saw,
and we started doing what they said to do.
A searching and fearless moral inventory?
When we heard we would list resentments,
what fear could that bring. We could list
people who’d hurt us back down to childhood!
Easy! We knew the list! But What?
We need to tell OUR PART?
Wait a minute! Or some years!
But it came to be for every resentment
we played a part, often starting the conflict…
And by the time we got through the Steps
we knew we held the keys
and if we loved where once we had provoked
the whole world could be turned around
and life would be filled with peace
and with joy and love would be center
in our new way of life!

Image Copyright : Nuttawut Uttamaharad

How Do I Work Step Twelve

 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs. ~ Step Twelve

I’m to try to carry this message
to Compulsive Overeaters.
How do I do that?
Do I look for obese people,
then tell them I can help them?
But I also need to practice
these principles in all my affairs.
I can go to them and tell them
I know how they can fix their obesity?
I can imagine someone saying that to me!
Would I have hit them? Maybe.
I would surely have wanted to!
So what else do I know?
The rest of the Step

says I practice  these principles
in all my affairs. Principles?
The 12 and 12 lists those…
one for each Step.
They are Honesty, Hope,
Faith, Courage, Integrity,
Willingness, Humility,
Self-discipline, Love,

Perseverance, Spiritual Awareness,
and Service. I need to remember
how I felt, I need to live happily,
be willing to tell what changed
if I’m asked, maybe just talk about me,
and let people connect the dots!

Treasured Wounds

Miss Havisham is the quintessential bearer of a “treasured wound.” Her tattered wedding dress and rotting cake serve as lifelong badges of victimhood. Daily she reminds herself of the loss she cannot get beyond, and glorifies it to the world. ~ Cohen, Alan. A Course in Miracles Made Easy (p. 43). Hay House. Kindle Edition.

What’s your oldest resentment?
My first answer was Mrs. Gulley.
In the fourth grade she called me aside
and privately told me picking my nose
was not so bad but nice girls
did not eat boogers.
On further thought, I remembered
Mrs. Thompson unfairly punished me.
She had been out of the room
and some boy began scratching
the red tabletop of the white metal table.
Soon all the other kindergarteners
joined in. My memory is I was last
to join in on making the guiro-like sound.
I was certainly the last to stop,
because Mrs. Thompson was returning
and only I continued for her
to have me stand in the corner.
The earliest-incurred resentment
was Mother’s having a Raggedy Ann doll
entertain me in my crib.
But I know of that only from her recalling it
as well as the picture.
What treasured wounds do you have?
I’m forgiving Mrs. Thompson, Mrs. Gully,
and Mother to heal my treasured wounds!

Ask and Receive

For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. ~ Matthew 7:8 New International Version (NIV)

It’s a familiar verse.
Probably you could quote it,
though perhaps with arcane ye’s.
What is it we’re to ask for?
What door allows us access?
It’s clear all people may petition.
Is it not also clear we’re not limited
to only once? We need only petition,
and we can expect to be treated
as a loving father would respond.
but Oh! how much more capable
is this Father of giving abundantly!

Invincible Summer

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus

Do you have invincible summer within you?
John Steinbeck borrowed a line
from Shakespeare, the winter of our discontent.

Is this a time of discontent for you?
A season of fear? A period of dismay?
Is there within you an invincible summer?
What place does faith fill in your life?
If faith, hope, optimism is absent in these days
How do you find invincible summer?
“Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.”
God remains in charge. Reach out for His support
then reach down to pull others up!

Joy in the Morning

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. ~ Psalm 30:5

Easter in the middle of social isolation…
Easter bonnets, spiffy new clothes, optional.
It’s not the Easter we’re used to
but the message resonates, reverberates,
rejuvenates those who open hearts,
who admit the reality fears hidden behind
the veil of solidarity. Surely the message
of hope finds hearts needing comfort,
craving the joy we lack. Let us
join the Hallelujah chorus and welcome
the morning’s message of hope-filled elation.
Weeping may endure for a night,
but joy comes in the morning.

Image Copyright: Rolomo Travani

In Who's Image?

God created us in His image and likeness, and we returned the compliment. ~ Voltaire

Do we limit God to the bounds
of our imagination?
When J. B. Phillips
wrote Your God is too Small”he wrote of a  resident policeman,
a grand old man, a parental hangover.
a managing director…
even a god-in-a-box like a toy…
all concepts made in our image.
In two and a half centuries
since Voltaire have we proved him wrong?
What do we hear when we speak the words,
God as we understand God?
It’s our understanding that’s necessary
but is our understanding limited
so that our own God is too small?
Try writing a job description
for the God of your understanding.
What’s a candidate like
who you would hire?
Are you returning the compliment?

Peace with God

 Agree with God, and be at peace; in this way good will come to you. ~ Job 22:21 (NRS)

Wait upon God quietly, earnestly, but constantly and trustingly, for days—aye weeks, if need be! ~ Cady, H. Emilie. Complete Works of H. Emilie Cady (Annotated) . Unity Books. Kindle Edition.

Some translations of Job say, “Submit to God…”
I kind of like the juxtaposition of Submit,
Agree and Wait upon. And this discipline
I certainly need! To agree with God,
being at peace in God’s presence,
good will a natural result of it all.
And the persistence of waiting quietly,
earnestly, constantly trusting for days,
aye weeks, if need be! That rather
redefines constantly! So are you ready to try?
I think I am!

Image Copyright : Guy Sagi

Best Years

  The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny. ~ Dr. Albert Ellis, psychologist

It’s not my fault!!!!
Who says so?
Is it time for a
Step Four inventory?
Can you really explore
what is YOUR fault?
How you exacerbated it?
Move on to the best years
of your life!
Enjoy them!

Image: Copyright : Putut Handoko

Fear Diminishes

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this fear diminishes.” ~ Rosa Parks

F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real.
We are living in a world where worst case scenarios
dominate every newscast, where our lives
stand upside down, in a state of utter confusion.
Searching out a comfortable shoulder to cry on
is forbidden, for we’re told to stay six feet away.
Holding hands, giving hugs, blending in…
verboten! For many the fears have become true,
but even then, the unthinkable having happened,
life goes on. And thankfully for most of us
the fear really is False Evidence Appearing Real.
And If not, when one’s mind is made up,
even this fear diminishes.

Just Stand

Child, you just stand, when there’s nothing left to do
You just stand watch the Lord see you through
Yes after you’ve done all you can, you just stand… ~ Stand lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

Just stand, but do your part first.
Let go of wants. Know for a fact
The Lord is your shepherd.
Trust God to know that, too.
The shepherd knows is sheep,
knows better than they their needs.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart
and wait on the Lord. (Psalm 27:14 NIV)

Fitting Everybody In

Four meetings, now,
we’ve joined from home
acting as if we circled a table,
pretending our weekly gathering
was in the normal location.
Acting as though we had hands to hold
to to bring life to the words,I put my hand in yours,
and together we can do
what we could never do alone.We speak of hopelessness ended,
of not proceeding on willpower–
if ever we had it!
Instead we reach out our hands*and get power  and strength
beyond our own
and in holding hands
find united strength
along with love.
People understand us at last
and we each have strength and power
we could not have dreamed of.
But we’re not together
as we shelter in place, alone,
images of our friends
both old and new
looking at us
on small screens.
We look for programs
allowing more of us
to fit on the screen
from other separate places.



*From I Put My Hand in Yours ©1968…1995 Overeaters Anonymous, Inc

image copyright : Lorelyn Medina

From a Fellow Bozo

Let me first say
I’m just another Bozo on the bus.
I’m no authority on how to do Recovery.
But I’ve certainly done my research.
identifying how to fail,
to fall on your face.
It took two sponsors
for me to KNOW I needed someone
who was there when our call was planned,
to call me on my fuzzy language when I hedged.
That’s a person I can trust, a role model I can follow
even when her advice made no sense to me,
I learned it made sense after I followed her advice.
I learned as I grew in understanding
to trust my instincts, not to be assured by others
I was close enough to the path when
I knew I really was not.
And long after it should have happened
I learned to honestly follow a plan of abstinence
knowing with no doubts I’d follow that plan
the rest of my life!