Blaming Life

To deal with my despair and inner turmoil I had to stop blaming life and find a new way of thinking. ...I learned that I can accept others as they are. I learned that I am not a victim to life. I can care for and be responsible for myself and my thinking. I can consciously choose positive thoughts and decisions that enable me to act on life one day at a time. ~Voices of Recovery (Kindle Locations 1803-1815).

Even though it's fun to be a martyr,
it doesn't get me anywhere.
Oh, it can get me attention
but people aren't fooled...
especially the one acting a victim. Me.
The sympathy that blooms
soon withers, crumbles, and bristles.
It's not life's fault. And not inevitable,
not fate, not beyond my control.
A counselor told me once I think fast...
that I thought faster than anyone else he knew.
A stampede of thoughts, a herd of ghost riders
across the sky, other worldly, eerily odd.
But it doesn't have to be. I'm responsible.
For my thinking. For my eating.
For my co-dependency. For my insecurity.
For my procrastination. Oh, I can't control them.
But I'm responsible. And the responsible thing to do
is to release them, to trust the master of the ghost riders,
to surrender to my higher power
and act — be — sane
one day at a time.