When Will I Ever Learn?

Learn what?
What do I lack knowing?
I don't know my husband.
Heck, I don't know myself.
What is there to learn, though?
What does it mean to learn?
Gain or acquire knowledge or skills
by study, by experience
by being taught.
Commit to memory.
Become aware of by watching,
observing.

What knowledge or skills
might I acquire, could I gain?
Knowing the Big Book
innately, internalized, instinctively.
Using the tools, not just easy ones
like writing but the really tough ones.
Like the telephone.
What could I study? Ditto, ditto.
Then there are those unpleasant bits,
those character defects, those fears.
Oooohhhh. Scary.
Commit to memory?
I don't stumble much on 3rd and 7th prayers.
But that pesky "much" and all those
other pages...
What could I watch?
Where should I observe?
Should I start with me, now?
When will I ever learn?