To God as I Understand

...him or her, it, them, deity,
divine being, creator, immortal,
demiurge...
maybe I like demiurge best,
had to look up the word
and that dovetails with the aplomb
I feel about defining this being...
...about defining you, for a prayer means
it's actually addressed to you, my demiurge...
I pray to you, not to me for I'm not god
and I heretofore abandon any claims I've made
unconscious though they were, for never ever
have I consciously thought of myself as god
even when I acted as if it were all up to me...
I pray for what...for your will, not mine,
not for anything selfish, self-centered,
benefitting myself alone...I pray for joy,
for peace, for serenity, for comfort, for security...
and that's not selfish for it benefits everyone
I know, even some I may not know,
that as exemplar...and it benefits those
for whom I pray that they may have
all those things I wish for me...
demiurge, I pray that you may teach me now
to pray and bring me back into your
province, that you return my consciousness
to you and my need to speak but much more so
my need to soak you in and become who you
who have me to be...