Comparing Insides to Outsides

I look at you and see excellence,
confidence, accomplishment,
polish, perfection.
I look at me and see cowardice,
timidity, uncertainty, irresolution,
weakness, a perfectionist who settles
for being perfectly awful.
But then I find someone
who has what I want...not things, but insides.
I study how she does it, ask questions,
listen...really listen and more than that hear.
And learn.
I've been looking at other people's outside
and comparing my own insides. But I don't have to.
I can find the good stuff in me even if I must start
by believing what she says about me
before I can actually find it there myself.

 

Self-portrait in Madrid