You Can't Mean That!

I'm ready to start the new diet,

to get this weight off. I've done it before —

often, in fact, and I'm pretty good at it.

And this time it's going to work! 

I SWEAR I won't put the pounds back on,

with interest, as usual. Just show me

what I'm to do for a month, six months,
a year. I'll last through that — I know I can

this time — and then get to go back to

that most important of all food groups, 

sugar!

What? NEVER? No end to the new diet?

It's not a diet but a plan of eating? 

That semantics, just vocabulary.

They've always told me I can add back in

those foods I give up once I get to goal.

But you're AWFUL! You're terrible!

You think I have to do your program forever and ever?

You can't be serious. I've done this before.

I can do it again, same way, same result...